“Conflict is inevitablebut combat is optional.”

~ Max Lucado, When God Whispers Your Name

The art of developing a theology of gospel-centered conflict

resolution

2 Corinthians 5:18-2118All this is from God, who through Christ

reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19that is, in Christ God was

reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20Therefore, we

are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21God made him

who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

The art of developing a theology of gospel-centered conflict

resolution

Luke 17:1-5Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people

to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. 2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones

to sin. 3 So watch yourselves.“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4 If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I

repent,’ forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”

To equip and assistChristians and their

churches to respond to conflict biblically

peacemaker.net

Pamphlet:http

://bookstore.peacemaker.net/html/Peacemaking_Principles_Pamphlet.pdf

Fighting Fair – Conflict Resolution

1. Stuff Happens!Conflict is part of living in a fallen world

2. A Commitment to live at peace with everyone

3. How to say “I’m sorry”

4. Don’t find fault, Find a remedy;Anybody can complain

5. When everything else fails

The Slippery Slope of Conflict

The Slippery Slope of Conflict

1. Escape2. Attack

3. Make Peace

Personal Peacemaking Responses

1. Overlook an offense2. Reconciliation3. Negotiation

Assisted Peacemaking Responses

1. Mediation2. Arbitration

3. Accountability

Fighting Fair – Conflict Resolution

1. Stuff Happens!Conflict is part of living in a fallen world

2. A Commitment to live at peace with everyone

3. How to say “I’m sorry”

4. Don’t find fault, Find a remedy;Anybody can complain

5. When everything else fails

FourG’s

A commitment toBiblical Conflict Resolution

1st “G”: Glorify God

1 Corinthians 10:31

2nd “G”: Get the log out of your eye

Matthew 7:1-5

3rd “G”: Gently restore

Galatians 6:1

4th “G”: Go and be reconciled

Matthew 5:23-24

Fighting Fair – Conflict Resolution

How to say “I’m sorry”:Asking for and granting

forgiveness

Forgiveness: Ceasing to feel resentment for wrongs and offenses; pardon, involving

restoration of broken relationships.

~ James M. Houston, Forgiveness, in Elwell, W. A., & Beitzel, B. J. (1988). Baker encyclopedia of the Bible (810). Grand Rapids, MI:

Baker Book House.

GET THE LOG OUTOF YOUR OWN EYE

Matthew 7:1-61“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the

same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck

from your brother’s eye. 6“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and

tear you to pieces.

The Development of an Idol

The Development of an Idol

Desire

The Development of an Idol

DesireExpectation

The Development of an Idol

DesireExpectation

Demand

The Development of an Idol

DesireExpectation

DemandJudgment

The Development of an Idol

DesireExpectation

DemandJudgment

Punishment

SEVEN A’s OF CONFESSION

SEVEN A’s OF CONFESSION

Proverbs 28:13He who conceals his sins does not prosper,

but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

1. Address everyone involved(All those whom you affected)

1. Address everyone involved(All those whom you affected)

2. Avoid if, but, and maybe(Do not try to excuse your wrongs)

1. Address everyone involved(All those whom you affected)

2. Avoid if, but, and maybe(Do not try to excuse your wrongs)

3. Admit specifically(Both attitudes and actions)

1. Address everyone involved(All those whom you affected)

2. Avoid if, but, and maybe(Do not try to excuse your wrongs)

3. Admit specifically(Both attitudes and actions)

4. Acknowledge the hurt(Express sorrow for hurting someone)

1. Address everyone involved(All those whom you affected)

2. Avoid if, but, and maybe(Do not try to excuse your wrongs)

3. Admit specifically(Both attitudes and actions)

4. Acknowledge the hurt(Express sorrow for hurting someone)

5. Accept the consequences(Such as making restitution)

1. Address everyone involved(All those whom you affected)

2. Avoid if, but, and maybe(Do not try to excuse your wrongs)

3. Admit specifically(Both attitudes and actions)

4. Acknowledge the hurt(Express sorrow for hurting someone)

5. Accept the consequences(Such as making restitution)

6. Alter your behavior(Change your attitudes and actions)

1. Address everyone involved(All those whom you affected)

2. Avoid if, but, and maybe(Do not try to excuse your wrongs)

3. Admit specifically(Both attitudes and actions)

4. Acknowledge the hurt(Express sorrow for hurting someone)

5. Accept the consequences(Such as making restitution)

6. Alter your behavior(Change your attitudes and actions)

7. Ask for forgiveness

QUESTION:What did I bring to the table in this conflict? What do I need to take

responsibility for?

GO AND BE RECONCILED

Colossians 3:13Bear with each other and forgive whatever

grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

GO AND BE RECONCILED

In order for true reconciliation to happen:

GO AND BE RECONCILED

In order for true reconciliation to happen:

Personal Offenses must be addressed and laid to rest through confession and forgiveness

(OWNERSHIP)

Four Promises of Forgiveness

Four Promises of Forgiveness

1 Corinthians 13:4-54Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it

does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no

record of wrongs.

Four Promises of Forgiveness

Four Promises of Forgiveness

“I will not dwell on this incident.”

Four Promises of Forgiveness

“I will not dwell on this incident.”

“I will not bring up this incident againand use it against you.”

Four Promises of Forgiveness

“I will not dwell on this incident.”

“I will not bring up this incident againand use it against you.”

“I will not talk to others about this incident.”

Four Promises of Forgiveness

“I will not dwell on this incident.”

“I will not bring up this incident againand use it against you.”

“I will not talk to others about this incident.”

“I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”

Isaiah 43:2525“I, even I, am he who blots out

your transgressions,for my own sake,

and remembers your sins no more.

GO AND BE RECONCILED

In order for true reconciliation to happen:

Personal Offenses must be addressed and laid to rest through confession and forgiveness

(OWNERSHIP)

The material issues of the conflict must be resolved by negotiating a mutually

satisfactory agreement(WHERE DO WE GO NOW?)

QUESTION:How can I demonstrate the

forgiveness of Christ toward this conflict?

Gospel Application:

Gospel Application:

Have I fully recognized the forgivenessof God to me in Jesus Christ and use

thatas a basis to ask for

and grant forgivenessto others?

Psalm 321Blessed is he whose transgressions are

forgiven, whose sins are covered. 2Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not

count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.

Psalm 323When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;

my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Psalm 325Then I acknowledged my sin to you and

did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”—

and you forgave the guilt of my sin.