dear erik zhivalyuk of 1339 e berks st
DESCRIPTION
Erik Zhivalyuk of 1339 E BERKS ST doesn't know that guests shouldn't block an entire sidewalk when visiting his house.TRANSCRIPT
2/29/16, 12:22 AMDear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST -
Page 1 of 12http://www.philadelinquency.com/2016/02/28/dear-erik-zhivalyuk-of-1339-e-berks-st/
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# (http://www.philadelinquency.com) / Uncategorized(http://www.philadelinquency.com/category/uncategorized/) /Dear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST
Dear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST$ February 28, 2016 (http://www.philadelinquency.com/2016/02/28/dear-erik-zhivalyuk-of-1339-e-berks-st/) % Master Blaster (http://www.philadelinquency.com/author/christoofar/)
Hello Erik.
You must be new to Fishtown. First off: welcome.
Second, let’s discuss this parking situation in front of your house. For instance, here:
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2/29/16, 12:22 AMDear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST -
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Your neighbors on your block are expressing their rage on Facebook. Apparently noone who parks in front of your garage door understands what parallel parking is,which is the only type of parking to be had on Fishtown’s streets except for twostreets–and Berks Street is not one of those streets.
While you can live your entire life elsewhere in Pennsylvania not knowing how toparallel park (this was a requirement for you to get a valid driver’s license), you cannotlive in Philadelphia without knowing how to parallel park–there’s almost nowhereyou can go live/work/play where you can get-by not knowing this skill.
Some neighbors have left you notes in your letterbox, which you’ve ignored. Atleast, that’s what they say. But you either can’t read English or you’re just willfullyignoring the notes.
Now, here’s something:
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2/29/16, 12:22 AMDear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST -
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That’s a Lew Blum sign above your garage.
Let’s get some things clear:
Parking in front of a curb cut is illegal. Even if it is your curb cut. It’s a $51 fine if youdo (http://www.philapark.org/laws-enforcement/).Because of people like you, we have taken to banning front-loaded garages in the city’szoning code (http://www.philadelinquency.com/2015/12/29/and-now-a-brief-reminder-why-curb-cuts-are-stupid/). Most of the time front-loader garages make for inconsiderateneighbors. They fill their garages full of crap and then go back to using street spaceswithout ever putting cars in them.The minute a garage-fronted rowhome is completed, the fugly Lew Blum signs go up onthe front of the house, which is apparently what you have done here. Typical.
A garage-fronted row home does not add any new parking to a block and basicallyadvertises “Hi! I’m a douchebag neighbor!”
Well, apparently you are. But it’s not because of the Lew Blum sign, Erik. It’sbecause you and/or occupants of your house continually block the entire width of thepavement where neither baby strollers nor wheelchairs and sometimes not evenpedestrians can traverse the block from one side to the other because you’re blockingit.
And dude, your house went through zoning(http://www.phila.gov/data/Pages/default.aspx?entity=zoningboardappeals&eid=17078). Twice(http://www.phila.gov/data/Pages/default.aspx?entity=zoningboardappeals&eid=17561). That meant a lot of your neighbors gottogether at a meeting at the Fishtown Rec Center to hash out whether it was anacceptable risk to allow the guy who built your house to build it the way he did,knowing that there might be a possibility that you would turn out to be thedouchebag that you presently are. A douchebag with a 10 year tax abatement(https://alpha.phila.gov/property/?p=181206100).
It really sucks to have to constantly complain to 911 about this. I mean, you are oneof the lucky ones who managed to find a garage-fronted rowhome before they werebanned, so you already have a guaranteed parking spot on your block.
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2/29/16, 12:22 AMDear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST -
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But that’s not good enough for you, is it? So fuck you, Erik. A million times.
Fishtown has transformed into a very parking-sensitive neighborhood. Everyone wholives here knows to not park in front of curb cuts and garage doors. Your warningsign is pointless and I bet you have never had a single Fishtowner block your garagedoor since the day you moved in. All the Lew Blum sign is doing is confirming yourdouchebag status like a beacon to ocean-faring vessels and your immediate neighbors.
Erik Zhivalyuk is registered as the owner of 1339 E Berks St(https://alpha.phila.gov/property/?p=181206100) in Philadelphia property records.
UPDATE: Eric has written back to say that the vehicles appearing in front of hisgarage door are those of guests.
Tags: Garage Bro (http://www.philadelinquency.com/tag/garage-bro/)
Caleb ShayWhile parking like that is stupid, allow me a small time to rant as an ownerof a house with a front garage in Fishtown. I didn’t even WANT a garage,but was forced to have one so that I “wouldn’t take up any more streetparking” by zoning. This is frustrating on multiple levels. I’m accused ofbeing a “douche” for having a garage, a street spot was still lost to the curbcut, I lose an entire floor of my home that could have been livable area, andI DON’T EVEN OWN A CAR!
AMGibbonsHey, you can make some rental money. Rent the garage out to aneighbor and allow them the luxury of helping you pay your mortgage.Just a thought.
Caleb ShayI’ve considered that.
robertoOr you could have chosen to NOT buy the place. Hmmm?
juandon79It seems to me, by his phrasing, that he built his ownhouse. For a while there zoning rules dictated that newly-built homes had to have a garage. It costs thousands ofdollars to get a variance, so I can see the issue he wouldhave had. No need to be a jerk about it.
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2/29/16, 12:22 AMDear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST -
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robertoFuck off. He could’ve got the variance. People do all thetime.
juandon79The community in which he lives, I’m sure, has a zoningcode. I’m sure you agree that we should follow it and shutthe fk up.nnRight?
robertoYou win. There is no ability to respond to idiocy. Your postmake no sense. And, it’s worth repeating, go fuckyourself.
juandon79Those were actually your words from a different Disqusthread, shitlord. Do you know how I knew to look at yourcommenting history for something like that? Because Iknow assholes like you. And I knew it would be there.Because it’s always there. Because you’re angry andyou’re stupid. Here’s the thread so you can go back andread your own stupid words, you stupid, stupid, stupidperson:nhttp://ww2.kqed.org/news/2015/10/24/in-albany-tension-runs-high-over-boys-haunted-housennI’m sureyour anger suits your career very well.nnRun along now,stupid. Philly.com needs its idiot back.
robertoYour idiocy confirmed with that stretch of a comparison.You should stick to comparing cocksizes:nnhttp://mymusclevideo.com/users/juandon79/#.VtPF-vk4HIU
juandon79LOL, that’s pretty good. Thought I had a pretty uniqueusername. Also super-psyched that I now have that sitein my browser history. Thanks. At least it’s a new take onRickrolling.nnSo, in your opinion, someone should onlydo what’s allowed by the zoning code in one situation. Butin this other situation, they should have gotten a varianceso that they wouldn’t have to comply with zoning? Andeither way, they’re an asshole if they don’t like it? That’sthe hill you’re going to die on? Bitter. So, so bitter.
FEDUPThen you should not have purchased the house.
Jamal KroftAn you should shut your fucking face hole
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Dear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 EBERKS ST(http://www.philadelinquency.com/2016/02/28/dear-erik-zhivalyuk-of-
2/29/16, 12:22 AMDear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST -
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Poor baby. You were forced to own a home with a garage. If you didn’twant it that way you shouldn’t have bought it. FOH
Eric ZhivalyukFirstly, I haven’t received one complaint in my mailbox, email, phone call, oreven a simple friendly ring on my doorbell from any of the neighbors, endingwiuld have been much more appreciated…So if your go to is to publicly tryto slander my name, you must not know how strong my reputation is thiscity.nnSecondly, I never park on the sidewalk. It is because of disrespectfulpeople who do not ask my permission when visiting me, or stopping by, thatyou see cars parked facing my garage. I HAVE A GARAGE. I don’t need topark on the sidewalk. I always tell people don’t do it, and if I have to I will goout an check when I have a visitors over. It’s okay to be jealous of asuccessful 27 year old entrepreneur who works when he wants, owns a halfa million dollar home and two cars living in the city, I would be too
http://www.naskaras.com/ Thanassi KarageorgiouYou had me at the first paragraph, you lost me at the second.Douchebagerry confirmed. No one cares how successful you are. But ifyour friends keep visiting you and blocking the sidewalk even afteryou’ve told them not to, they’re tools and you’re a tool for hanging outwith them. !
Massimo MancoHonestly I dont care about the parking issue. I am more interested inthis remark:nn “how strong my reputation is this city” (You forgot theIN)nnLast time i checked, dude, anyone that has a “REPUTATION” hasto be known for something.nnWhat is it, Eric, that you are known for inthis city?nnCan you elaborate?
robertoTrump junior. Strip club software, lol.
http://www.philadelinquency.com/ SheriffPHLEric, if you say it’s your friends/guests that are doing it I’ll change thepiece to add that bit in, and thank you for responding.
joe schmolol jesus you people have nothing better to do
ambiguatorWow, now i remember why i stopped reading this blog.
juandon79I remember attending the two zoning meetings for this property. Thedeveloper was pretty much an asshole through the entire process. I guessasshole developers end up building houses for assholes to move into.
Astromyxin .What a fucking wimp. Nobody is forcing you to live where you live, amongnpeople who clearly don’t give a shit and are probably deeply embroiled ninpoverty. There’s probably trash strewn all about your street, and you’re
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2/29/16, 12:22 AMDear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST -
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nworried about what some asshole does with his car. Your priorities are shit.I bet you wanna save homeless animals, too. Seriously, get your shittogether, nerd.
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2/29/16, 12:22 AMDear Erik Zhivalyuk Of 1339 E BERKS ST -
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