deep-london magazine april 2012

apr2012 10/4/12 10:08 am

GET YOUR EVENT LISTED:e-mail: HELLO@

DEEP-LONDON.CO.UKwhat’s on listings are

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Last date forinclusion in May issue -

25th April 2012

Hello there.....and welcome to isue 98. I don’t know about you, but I’ve

had a very peculiar old month of it. I won’t bore you with thedetails but suffice to say, there’s rather a lot more on my platenow than there was three weeks ago, which is why we’vehanded this issue over to our regular contributors while I learn tobecome, er, I think the word I’m searching for is... Organised? Isthat right? It’s not a concept I’m familiar with, so you’ll have tobear with me...

Happily we have a plethora of contributors at the moment, soin this issue you’ll find our film reviews, with an added bonus,Steph is back to confuse me at least with technology (she does iton purpose I reckon), DarkZac returns with more reports fromthe cabaret scene - we’re starting to worry about that lad, and ofcourse, no issue would be complete without the random musingsof Auntie May. We’ve also welcomed back Mister Booth who fillsus in on the local hip-hop scene currently burgeoning away atThe Oval Tavern. Yes, really.

Elsewhere we’re delighted to see some other people trying tobig up Croydon with large scale outdoor events on the 15th Aprilin South End and on St George’s Day (I think, it could be theSunday before - there’s a bleedin’ great advert for it in the magsomewhere so have a look) in Surrey Street and its surrounds.We hope to see you all down there doing your bit to support thecommunity and stuff, innit?

Finally, you’ll be pleased to hear that last month our residenttipster Flash Harry managed to pick a winner at Cheltenham,which is more than I did (actually, that’s not true, I had a 50 to 1winner, but I only had 10p on it - I am indeed the last of the bigspenders!), and as this month sees the Grand National occurring,my tip for that is... Oh God, I won’t bother, it’ll only kaibosh it.As long as the little hoofers come back safely I’ll be happy.

Right, that’s it from me, it’s 5.47am and I’m down to my lastcigarette, so I’m offski. Have a lovely April, hope the weatherimproves so all these pubs with BBQs can get them fired up. Seeyou all in May when it will be merely one month away fromboth our 9th Birthday and our 100th issue. How marvellously

exciting. Organisation,you hold no fears forme. Well, a few maybebut... Avant, Allons-y, Cheers!

Angela xxx

Contact Us:editor: angela ferraratel: 07910 506197 (24 houranswerphone)e: [email protected]

staff and contributors: auntie may, petal dunwoody, stephaniedarkes, nick booth, darkzac, tom dennet-cook.

advertising sales:call angela on 07910 506197 (24 houranswerphone) or e-mail [email protected]

publishing & design: deep-london

deep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com •www.facebook.com/deeplondon • twitter @deep_london

April 2012Issue Ninety Eight

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Your Bonsai Editor

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LISTINGS:

THIS MONTH’SFEATURES:

What’s On Guide 21

This Month’s Sport 36

Horrible Histories 4

Hip Hop Showtime! 6

Cabaret Awards 8

Auntie May 10

Film Special - The Room 12

Steph Darkes’ Twitterama 14

Reviews From TheOuter Rim 18

APRIL 2012

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Based on the hugely popular TerryDeary books, for those whohaven’t seen it, Horrible Histories

is a sketch based show, full of comedyand, of course, horribleness, thatteaches kids all about the gruesomestuff they want to know about historywhile surreptitiously teaching themstuff. It’s a kids TV programme thatdoesn’t talk down to kids, much in thevein of the wonderful ‘Sorry I’ve Got NoHead’, but with education, be itgenerally disgusting education. Frankly,it’s genius, and is one of the fewprogrammes I, as a 30-somethingmagazine editor and my 9 year oldniece have in common.

According to the blurb, in series four,

viewers find out how historical figuressuch as Dick Whittington and Robertthe Bruce get on pitching movies abouttheir life story, and which HistoricalApprentice teams will find out they’refired. There are also more magnificentmusical interludes including Victoria andAlbert’s love ballad, Charles Darwin witha Bowie-esque rock tune, and a newBattle of Britain RAF Pilots boy band.

Death returns to quiz the recentlydeceased on the manner of their demisein Stupid Deaths, and King Henry VIIIhas a go at raising some much neededfunds by taking part in a daytime TVshow Cash in the Abbey.

To be honest, we’re well overduebringing this one to your, our lovelyreaders, attention, but happily they’ve anew series coming out in April, so hereare regular cast members Jim Howick,Laurence Rickard, Mathew Baynton andBen Willbond to tell you all about it;

So, what can we expect from seriesfour of Horrible Histories?

Jim: “Lots of fantastic new songs, oldfriends making appearances and someextra-special guest stars. Oh yeah, andpoo and wee and stuff.”

Laurence: “The classic HorribleHistories blend of incredible facts, fallingover and ridiculous accents, with lots ofbrand new stuff thrown in. There’s awhole host of new characters and evena new era for series four – theRenaissance. Not to mention somefantastic guest stars: Mark Gatiss, ReeceShearsmith and Steve Pemberton fromthe League of Gentlemen and ChrisAddison in a very pretty wig. Plus, ofcourse, more Stupid Death, more ofBob’s Reports and more annoyinglycatchy songs.”

Where do the ideas for the showcome from?

Laurence: “From history. We alwaysstart with the facts first. There’s a very

clever and hardworking (so he claims)historian called Greg Jenner who doesmonths of research to find masses offascinating facts. Us writers thensuggest ways of translating these intofunny sketches and write up the best ofthem into scripts.”

What’s it like on set?Jim: “The cast and crew have pretty

much been working with each other foralmost five years now so at first it’s likea reunion and very exciting but then thehard work begins. The fact that you’rewith people youlove takes theedge off!”

Is HorribleHistories as fun tomake as it looks?

Laurence: “Theshort answer is‘yes’. I think thatone of the keys toHorrible Historiesis that the senseof ‘these guys aremessing around’comes across onscreen. It makes

the show feel very inclusive. The wigshelp too – sometimes we only have tolook at each other as we walk on setand we’re laughing already.”

Is it different acting in a children’sshow?

Mathew: “I don’t think any of usapproach Horrible Histories anydifferently than we would an adultsketch show and that is perhaps one ofthe reasons kids love it. We don’t dumbanything down.”

Several stars have made guestappearances on the show – do you havea favourite?

Laurence: “I’m not sure I could pick afavourite, especially from this series.Having guest appearances from the likesof Chris Addison and the League ofGentlemen is a fantastic achievementfor what is at heart, a children’sprogramme. However, it was theirenthusiasm for the show that reallyblew me away. Here were these bonafide comedy heroes saying ‘I loved thatsong from series 2’ or telling you theirfavourite Stupid Death. Very proudmoments.”

What was it like working with thespecial guest stars on the show?

“It’s amazing to have our comedyheroes asking to be part of the show –and it’s mostly thanks to Twitter. ChrisAddison was tweeting about how muchhe loves the show so I asked if he’d liketo come and be in it. A couple ofmessages later and he was in a massiveGeorgian wig.

Kids’ programmes. Undoubtedly the best things on telly. Deep catches upwith some of the stars of the award winning ‘Horrible Histories’ as it prepares

for it’s 4th series to air. . .

“I’m pretty sure history will judge us to be at leastas idiotic as our great, great grandfathers. Plusthey had much more fetching facial hair.”

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“Getting the League of Gentlemenback together on the show was brilliant.They’ve done a series of Movie Pitchsketches that are spoofs of those oldOrange ads, where each of our castcomes in as a different historicalcharacter to pitch the story of their life.Mark, Steve and Reece wereextraordinary to watch – so funny andprofessional with fantastic chemistry. Itwas like a comedy masterclass.”

What’s a typical day like on set?Mathew: “A lot of hard work, a lot

of laughter and a lot of beard glue.”Ben: “There isn’t a typical day on set.

You can be up to your waist in pondwater one day and covered in fake poositting on a horse the next. There’ssomething new every day. The onething you can guarantee is there will bea massively itchy beard waiting for youat 6am. Joy.”

How long does it take you to getdressed and made-up to become acharacter on the show?

Mathew: “It depends on thecharacter, but usually there’s only anhour to do a make-up change whileanother sketch is being filmed, and thenyou jump into your costume and get onset. There’s a lot to film in a short spaceof time so the make-up team have towork miracles with a fraction of thetime you would get on a film, forexample.

You are always playing the part ofdifferent characters in the programme –does that mean children don’t recogniseyou in the street when you look likeyourself?

Jim: “Quite the opposite. It’simpossible to disguise yourself whenyou’re seen in probably every kind of‘look’. I don’t mind though, they’ll onlycome up to you if they like you, sothat’s nice.”

What’s your favourite historicalperiod to portray in the show and why?

Jim: “I always enjoy the Stuart era,lovely costumes, great facial hair andlots of things being discovered andburning down. I also enjoy all of theWorld War 2 sketches we do.”

And your least favourite era?“Any period where my costume is

just a loin cloth…”What’s your favourite sketch from

the new series?Jim; “That’s very hard. We’ve raised

the bar this year I reckon. One thatsticks out is a Crusades/Monsters ditty,but there are so many other greatones.”

Mathew: “I could never pick afavourite sketch before but we filmedone for this series in which I play aVictorian gentleman whose bum is onfire. It’s the silliest and biggestcharacterization I think I’ve ever gonefor and I loved every minute of it.”

Do you ever argue about who gets toplay which part?

Mathew: “The casting isn’t ourdecision, thank goodness! If it were itwould be impossible. I think we all get‘sketch envy; from time to time whenwe read a sketch we think is particularlyhilarious and then find out we’re notgoing to be in it. But there is so muchexcellent material that it always evensout over the series.”

It seems like you all get on well onset – do you ever make each otherlaugh when you’re not supposed to?

Mathew: “Yes, it’s an occupationalhazard! It’s also the reason I love goingto work.”

What do you think Horrible Historiesin fifty years time will be covering fromtoday’s news?

Laurence: “Much the same sort ofthing – stories of how ridiculous peopleare. It is (luckily for our show) very easyto scoff at the past, because as societyand science move on, you gain thebenefit of hindsight. But just as we lookback at the Victorians and think themmad for using radioactive toothpaste orthinking tobacco was a health tonic,who’s to say how people in the futurewill judge our use of GM crops ormobile phones? I’m pretty sure historywill judge us to be as least as idiotic asour great, great grandfathers. Plus theyhad much morefetching facialhair.”

Whichhistorical figureare you most like?

Laurence:“ChristopherColumbus. He setout to reach Chinaand India butended up in thewrong continentand wasn’t even

the first person to discover it. BasicallyI’m a well-meaning, hard-working idiotwho ends up in the wrong place, toolate. Though thinking about it, I’m notthat keen on sea travel. Maybe I’d makea better village idiot – it’s steady work.”

Ben: “I’m probably most like a scaredRoman soldier in the middle of a shieldtortoise who just wants to go home.”

Mathew: “I can’t see myself as aruthless highwayman like Turpin or aparty king like Charles II and peoplecan’t even agree about whoShakespeare was, so I can hardlycompare myself to him…so I’mprobably most like the dunce who triedto smuggle weapons into Rome in thelast series.”

Jim: “Well, I’m sure there are dayswhen I’m like a few of the characters.Most of the ‘known’ characters I playare either brave heroes or spoilt andpsychopathic emperors or kings. I’ll stickto the ‘unknowns’. Cheeky peasantperhaps?

Which historical figure would youmost like to be like?

Jim: “Wowsers. Christopher Wrenleft a few legacies, but probablysomeone who fought for immensegood. William Wilberforce.”

Laurence: “Hmm. I’ve alwaysadmired Isambard Kingdom Brunel,because he achieved so many thingsthat people said just couldn’t be done:mighty ships, ground-breaking railwaysand bridges, the first tunnel under theThames. He had an incredible ‘can-do’attitude. But he was also a workaholicso perhaps not the ideal role model. Soperhaps a cross between Brunel andCharles II – an engineering genius whoknows how to let his hair down.”

Ben: “Churchill. I’d get so muchmore done!”

Mathew: “Darwin, Darwin, Darwin!”

The 4th series of Horrible Historiesstarts on BBC1 & CBBC in April -

transmission date tbc...

“I haven’t got a favourite sketch but in this series Iplay a Victorian gentleman whose bum is on fire.It’s the silliest thing & I loved every minute of it!”

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Thank god for Catherine Cee CeeNorth, Purpose Lee and AshleyPhonix Genus (pix, above).

Nationally and locally we are in a rightgloomy state of affairs, with money tootight to mention and the riots still a sourmemory, yet in the face of this grey tideof negativity Croydon has a group of

scenesters who are pushing newboundaries in the arts and music field.The town needs pioneers like them.

When I found out I was interviewingthree hip hop people I was halfexpecting to encounter perhaps aslightly challenging atmosphere, orheck, at least a gun or two wavedaround. But no, the three promoters aresane and civilised, and the only sign ofexcess is a couple of beers.

As we said in one of our previousissues (the famed and now collectibleCroydon Bohemia issue – Editor) thesubmerged countercultural activities ofthis town are quite surprising if you digaround a bit, and Showtime, themonthly live hip hop performance nighthosted by Catherine and friends at theOval is no exception.

First things first. What is the Cee Ceeall about, Catherine? (I’d beenwondering about this for quite sometime). Disappointingly, there’s no singleanswer. Damn! Some are obscene. Themost printable explanation is that itstands for Cool Cat, but also chubby cat– not a name redolent of the urbanedginess with which hip hop is usuallyassociated I think you will agree.

‘I had to have a nickname,’ says

Catherine, ‘cos it couldn’t just beCatherine North, could it?. ’Spoze not.But back to Showtime, the hip hopevening they promote on the first Fridayof every month at the Oval Tavern,Oval Road (off Cherry Orchard, roundthe back of East Croydon Station),featuring a strong bill of performers. Hipartist Purpose Lee says they came upwith the idea down the pub afterrealising there ‘was no good hip hopnight in Croydon,’ and visualised a‘community showcase’. He and fellowmusician Ashley Phonix have a lot offriends in the hip hop scene and wantedto create a platform for talent theyknew and also to give exposure toupcoming voices. They also see it as agreat collaborative opportunity.

As Lee says pithily: ‘Stuff producesstuff,’ which in my book is a sage-likecomment about how creativity works:see Irish poet WB Yeats: ‘Works of artcreate works of art.’. Exactly. Anyway,enough of da schoolroom! You mightthink – I certainly did – that a good oldfashioned boozer such as the OvalTavern is perhaps an unusual place for ahip hop night, but that preconceivednotion is soon blown away:

‘It’s nice,’ says Catherine. ‘I like the

HipHoPDON’TSTOp!

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feel of it here, it’s got a nice big gardenand it’s out of the way, keeps it special.’

Ashley: ‘We want it to be the homeof live hip hop in Croydon. We’d like toget big names down as well as localnew talent, and put them up together;it would be a measure of equality. Equalsize names on the flyer etc. The firstShowtime attracted 270 people –without annoying the Oval’s regulars.

‘They seem to like it and get into it,’says Catherine. And the nights are filledwith creative sparks.

‘Things happen,’ says Ashley. ‘Peoplecome down and then we’re makingtunes.’

‘It’s good for us,’ adds Lee, ‘becausewe get crowd reaction and feedback fornew material we want to try out.’

‘We’re getting respect for it,’ saysCatherine.Lee: ‘I’m pleasantly surpisedby what’s happened, and it’s exceededmy expectations and we’ve made awhole new bunch of friends.’

They are keen to point out thatShowtime is not necessarily a reflectionof the gaudier excesses of hip hop.

Ashley: ‘A lot of this is poetry with amusical blend.’

Word certainly appears to bespreading. They have had interest from

such diverse places as Camden,Wolverhampton, Brighton andSouthampton. In the short-term theyplan an open mic section and somerappers from abroad, to add‘international flavours’.

‘We’re getting calls and people wantto get involved,’ says Ashley. ‘We canexpand, bounce ideas and network.’

Beyond promoting and organisingthe event, what does Catherine CeeCee North do at Showtime?

‘I get pissed and get on the mic! Isort them all out and sound like anangry teacher! I’m the Matron of HipHop!’

Good album title, that. But at themoment the blonde promoter has nointention of trying to make it as aperformer, which is a bit of a shame asshe seems to have a real stage presence,and has a winning way with a funnyanecdote. Ms North is a bit of a mysterywoman, emerging on to this magazine’sradar a few years back through theEvelina Beckers’ international partyjetset, who has also appeared in oursometime sister publicationCroydonhello. Question is, becauseShowtime’s going so well at the Oval itraises the question of expanding the

night. At present there are no plans butCatherine says:

‘If we moved in Croydon wewouldn’t want to be doing anything onthe chav strip! [can’t think where shemeans!] Maybe promoting a night inLondon or even a tour.‘

A one-off spectacular would begood,’ she adds.

It would indeed be good. You couldsay that after the riots the streets have abad name, but this showcase for themusic of the streets tells a differentstory: one of artistic ambition andboundless optimism. So a Showtimeextravaganza can only be a positivething for Croydon. I bet they pull it off.

Showtime is at the Oval Tavern, 131Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 6BR

on the first Friday of each month.Facebook: ‘Showtime, the Home of Live

Hip Hop in Croydon’e-mail:

[email protected] them on twitter

@hiphopshowtimeAny acts interested in playing the

next Showtime call Phonix - 07930891028, Cee Cee - 07946 215765 or

Purpose - 07703 516079.

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The evening started with findingthe location, which wasn’tactually hard as it’s well

signposted to the Battersea barge. Ifound myself walking down an alleywith the Thames to my left,surrounded with history, overlookedby the gargantuan cathedral of artdeco, that shining example of civicpride (and the largest brick building inwestern Europe) the Battersea powerstation, its four chimneys disappearinginto the night. I wound my waythrough the passage quite excited -nervous at what was to come -passed several moored boats thatshimmered in the night lit, by the

reflected light bouncing off the riverfrom the buildings that guarded theopposite bank and beyond. Onnearing the barge I encountered twolarge dogs. The owner didn’t seemtoo bothered and, being in my niceformal clothes, I was in no mood topet them - given the amount ofbarking it didn’t look they wantedpetting. I don’t think they realisedthat no amount of barking wouldscare me away from completing mymission and, knowing they wouldcome off worst, I ventured past withone eye on them as they followed!Some moments later I was standing infront of the barge - welcomed by afire-breathing woman about nine feethigh waving flaming wands at me sheboomed

”Welcome to the London cabaretawards!”

Later I snuck on shore for a breathof air and, ok, a cigarette, (giving up!)and had a chat while watching thenight time performance as she lit upthe sky. On entering thebarge from a starboard side anotherwarm greeting (not flaming), coat andbag removed, seating explained andunderstood, I took in my home for

the next few hours, alive already withthe crack and hum of patrons,cocooned by the boat, windowsoverlooking the river, tables andchairs arranged, a small stage at thebow waiting almost expectantly forthe show, ready to embrace thenthrust its occupiers into the audiencessouls. I retired to the upper level ofthe boat for the Champagnereception (Ooh, get you! - Ed) and tomeet the guest, acts and salubriousfive judges who had been tasked withthe most difficult of roles - theappraisal of one’s peers.

Meeting amongst others the hostand organiser of the London cabaret

awards Paul L Martin, clean cut,articulate -enticingly so - in a well-tailored purple velvet blazer (possiblyMoschino (should have asked)) Paulemitted a glow, warming the hearts ofguests and artists alike with anelectrifying smile, eyes that burnt intoyour your very being. Kool with acapital “K” charming, friendly,attentive. Everything you could askfor in a good host, in fact. Paul puttogether a ceremony spiced up with awonder of delights from Londoncabaret scene, a true entertainer. Andon mentioning Paul I must mentionVanessa Pope (host and organiser)looking amazing and so wellorganised. Even though she wasn’tone of the performers she stole theshow for me in the outfit department,looks too for that matter. Vanessamanaged to look super sexy whilstcarrying off a curvaceous style and adignity, that only few women can,splashed with charm, a smile thatmade you feel warm inside, eyes thatyou wanted to sink into… Ok I’ll stopthere...

Back to the awards, and we tookour seats. A mixture of awards andacts followed, four fems on the

Thames wowed us with their retrocharm and sexy chrome mic’s almostlike dipping your toe into a late 40’searly 50’s radio show, their faultless,well-polished performance lookedeffortless, funny, and with perfectharmonies they were the cherry ontop of the cream cake of cabaret.

Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer, avery dapper chap indeed in tweedwell-trimmed moustache, banjo inhand tickled the crowed with 20’s and30’s takes on contemporary tunes andthe boat rocked as the people clappedand tapped their feet to the sounds ofMr.B. The acts andawards were woven together by hostJamie Anderson who did a sparklingjob, constantly entertaining withouteven catching a breath. These awardswere not just to recognise theprofessional creatives of Cabaret, butalso to remind us that for usuallyunder £10.00 you can drink, eat,have fun, and relax without the stuffyovercrowded and overpriced theatreexperience - trust me, I made themistake of paying to see Ghost Storyat the Lyceum - I could have had 10cabarets for the same money in amore chilled out and bubblyatmosphere. This is art for the masses,I say.

Such an amazing night was had byall, we came alive bound together ona voyage of wondrous delights.Injected, infused with laughter andwarmth, just like that feeling youhave after a good meal, or that cakeyou eat but know you shouldn’t have,one of complete contentment,knowing you want a little more. Iloved every minute, feeling welcomedand loved as part of an experiencethat adds to my growingunderstanding of what it is to give, toperform. Lighting up the world, withthe gift of entertainment. What moreperfect venue could there have been,as we sailed through the charmingsaucy seas of London cabaret withinthe Battersea barge - a world untoitself, a tardis filled with history andblurry echoes of previous incarnations.

DarkZac has an evocative night on the river at the London Cabaret Awards. . .

“I made the mistake of paying for Ghost Story atthe Lyceum - I could have gone to 10 cabarets forthe money, and been in a better atmosphere. . .”

words and pix, zac@

inphotopia.com

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Hello and welcome back to all myfriends and followers. Hold on aminute, I’ll have to turn Slash

and Myles down – I can’t hear myselftype. That’s better, now what was Igoing to say. Ah yes, Easter. That timeof year when bunnies and lambs startfrolicking, the sun gets slightly morereliable and Edith walks around with achocolate moustache. But in order toget to Easter we have to get throughthe tedium that is Lent. Edith, who ishugely more Godfearing than I, tendsto subscribe to the idea that to getsomething good, you have to balance itwith “something bad”. Sort of tit fortat I suppose. Anyway, the morningafter pancake day I’m tipping agenerous slug of Baileys over mycornflakes and the familiar words ringin my ears,

“So what are you giving up for Lentthis year?”

I deflect this by answering, “What are you giving up for Lent

then?” Edith glints, “Asparagus”. “But you don’t eat asparagus” I

counter, “Won’t God be cross?” Edith looks deflated. “Why don’t you give up biscuits?” I

suggest helpfully (thinking of thepacket of chocolate Hobnobs I wasplanning on not sharing that evening).Edith throws me a scornful ‘You don’tget me that easily’ look.

“I know, I’ll give up hogging theswings in the park”, she says decisively,

“Now you. Why don’t you give upgetting dressed in the dark?” she says,raising one eyebrow at my choice ofattire. I play for time by drinking theBaileys at the bottom of the bowl.Actually, what I want to give up is thistedious Twitter thing I started lastmonth, but I feel I ought to give it a bitmore time to ripen, as it were. Twitterseems to me to provide a mouthpiecefor people who like nothing better thanto listen to the sound of their ownvoice to make random, occasionallywitty, comments.

Facebook, for all its faults, at leastprovides a whole conversation whereasfollowing a conversation in Twitterinvolves jumping about from tweet totweet like a demented chorakee bird.And unlike Facebook, most of thetweeters who appear in my feed aretotal strangers.

Admittedly the problem may stemfrom the fact that I’m not very good atit and haven’t given it enough attention(doing it on my phone is a nightmareas I can’t see to read the screen) and I

actually have a life. Still, I’m not givingup just yet so I still have to findsomething to give up to shut Edith up.Eventually I decide to give up myaddiction to ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ –but only until Easter mind you.

This brave choice obviously left mewith a huge gap in my life on Mondayevenings, so I hunted round forsomething exciting to fill the void in mylife. I stumbled (quite literally) acrossWii Bowling Night in the Ship(www.theshipcroydon.com). Excellent, Ithought, I can keep fit and get drunkall at the same time – perfect. EveryMonday, teams of up to four peoplegather round the huge screen andbattle it out for a prize – Marstons haveagreed to stump up an impressivereward of £100 forthe team who win thetournament. So farwe’ve had a couple ofpractice nights whichhave involved megetting completelytrounced by peoplewho have obviouslyplayed before andmuch hilarity at theavatars of Shipregulars who pop upon the screen. I dohave my own avatarbut she lives on Edith’s

grandson’s Wii and I’m disappointedthat technology hasn’t advancedenough for me to take her with me inmy pocket.

On the music front this month, I wasdelighted to be reunited with the lovelyGirlschool at the Garage, Islington.Now the longest-running all femalerock band, they played to a mainly

male audience (hooray, no queues forthe ladies). The girls stormed throughan energetic set of old favourites andproved that you can look fantastic at50+, not that I ever had any doubtabout that myself! I’m back in Islingtonlater this month to see my newfavourite band – Tracer (more on thatnext month).

Anyway, my advice to you all for along and active life like mine is dancelike it hurts, love like you need themoney, and work when people arewatching, or something along thoselines.

Follow me on Twitter@MayHarbinger. If you can bebothered.

Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton AuntieMay ponders the vagaries of Lent and Twitter. . .

Girlschool

pix: Dark A

ngel Photography

10

“Having stumbled across Wii Bowling Night at TheShip, it occurred to me that I could keep fit andget drunk at the same time - perfect”

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A Reviews from the Outer Rim Special on cult film ‘The Room’ with producer and director Tommy Wiseau and co-producer Greg Sestero in attendance. . .

Reviews From The Outer Rimrecently attended a specialscreening of cult sensation The

Room at The Prince Charles Cinema aspart of a series of Q&A screenings withthe films co-producer/actor GregSestero anddirector/writer/producer/actor TommyWiseau. Screening of this film alwaysattracts a dedicated audience. Tommyand Greg mingled with fans in thelobby, many in fancy dress: Men intuxedos, women in skimpy red dresses.On the surface this might seem quitenormal, but in the context of the filmand its story these details have specialsignificance that only fans may notice.The Room tells the story of a lovetriangle between femme fatale Lisa, hernaive boyfriend Johnny, and his bestfriend Mark. As Lisa and Mark engageon their affair, others get draggeddown into the deceit. Sounds like a

standard generic drama? Yet many ofthe films critics and even fans havelabelled it the ‘best worst movie ever’.The film is infamous for its woodenacting, absurd dialogue and endless listof inconsistencies. But what isinteresting about The Room is how itrises above all this. If this article servesone purpose, it is to say this: The Roomis something that has to beexperienced. It is easy to see why it hasbecome a cult hit. Comparisons can bemade with other cult icons such as TheRocky Horror Show. In both cases,audiences attend in costume. In bothcases, dialogue is both quoted as wellas added during the screening. In bothcases, audience members bring theirown props and use them during thescreening. For the uninitiated, beware!You may occasionally be hit by anAmerican football or even brief squallsof plastic spoons! I, amateurishly, hadnot brought anything, but a friendlyneighbour, noticing my plight, offeredme some spoons. That’s the kind ofgroup this is; a welcoming community.Therefore not only does The Roomearn its cult status from its so-called‘trashy’ reputation, but also for the

active nature of its audience. As Tommyand Greg took to the stage, the crowdwent berserk. What followed was less aQ&A and more a surreal stand-up withthe questions being seemingly excusesto make jokes about the film, but noone seemed bothered. Tommy Wiseauwas playing to the crowd, giving themthe mad-cap persona that has grownwith his public appearances. Pseudo-film quotes (“You’re tearing me apartLondon!”), Shakespeare recitals (wegot The Tempest), audience membersgetting on stage for hugs, all wereencouraged. As a collective we evenjoined in a rendition of Happy Birthdayfor one lucky patron. Greg’s occasionalinput was welcomed: the ‘straight guy’to Tommy’s craziness. But I wondered,was Tommy’s crazy persona fake,conjured up to create a growingreputation? Are the films faults genuineor intentional? Many films have

become more profitable as flops thanas hits. This seemed a valid pointconsidering Wiseau’s claim thateverything in the film was donemeretriciously, and if the film was madewith good intentions, does its creatorgenuinely like the irony of its audience?

After securing an exclusiveinterview we were able to ask thesequestions. I will begin by saying thatTommy Wiseau is entirely genuine. He’smad; and trying to pin him down onspecific topics is almost impossible.Tommy is his own man and proud ofhis work. At one point I was told that‘you and other media are bashing me,but they [the audience] are out there soI hope when you write down the articlecorrectly, you say that we loveaudience! We love audience! We loveUK! We have groovy time! Don’t askstupid questions! Etc etc!’ Always halfjoking and half serious, the interviewwas difficult to manage as Tommyflipped between being deeply analyticalto easily distracted; stopping once todiscuss the prospect of a ‘spicy wiener’and again so he could sign anautograph. It was clear that this was aman who plays by his own rules and

doesn’t care what people think. Therelationship between the film’s qualityand intent is just as mysterious. DespiteTommy’s denial, many faults seemunintentional. When asked aboutwhether they appreciated the film’snegative reputation both men quicklydismissed any criticism. Greg summedup their response well;

“It’s a cinematic experience. Youcan’t look at it otherwise. It’s an event,you just let it exist as its own entity... Ithink if you just look at the film in theusual parameters you’re just wastingyour time.”

The Room has clearly evolvedbeyond its humble beginnings. PerhapsWiseau was in control of it at first, butits audience has clearly taken the leadand adapted the film for their ownneeds. As much as they may laugh atthe film though, they also seem to becheering it on. In an age of glossy yetcold blockbusters, this audience seessomething noble in the passion anddetermination that has gone intomaking this underdog film. Perhaps thisexplains why Wiseau and Sesteroembrace the films reputation, andwelcome new fans with open arms...

To read a full version of ReviewsFrom The Outer Rim’s interview with

Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero,including information on future plans,

visitwww.reviewsfromtheouterrim.com.

Greg Sestero (left) and Tommy Wiseau

Infamous for its wooden acting and absurddialogue, ‘The Room’ has been labelled by critics,and even fans, as the ‘best worst movie ever’. . .

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Welcome to the not-so-nerdy world of StephanieDarkes, your no nonsense

music & Social Media go-to-girl.March has rumbled by in a whirl

of pasties, pipe dreams and dodgyOlympics statistics. I want to avoidthe politics and talk aboutsomething that appears to be ofimportance on Twitter, and that ispopularity.

Let’s take a look at the mostpopular Tweeters* (*disclaimer, Iremoved myself from all lists tomake room for those whose egosneed more massaging...). I have toadmit that I don’t follow many at

the very top, I’m not a big ‘sleb’watcher, but the list does makeinteresting reading. I was verysurprised to find Coldplay atnumber 17 and not so surprisedthat GaGa made number one. LadyGaGa, this is a woman who hasher monsters well and truly undercontrol, securing her place as theQueen on Twitter.

2. Barack Obama, we all knowMr Obama is a bit of a ledge(legend) but despite certainpeople’s claims that his is out offavour, he’s obviously got plenty ofmonsters of his own.

3. Britney Spears, just aseveryone likes a bit of car crash TV,I’m sure that most of her followershang on with baited breath waitingfor the meltdown (maybe that’sunkind but when was the lastrecord she released?)

4. Kim ‘bloody’ Kardashian whoseems to be EVERYWHERE at the

moment, she can’t really be thatinteresting can she?

5. Aston Kutcher (the eye candy)Ashton’s numbers increaseddrastically post Demi Moore breakup, I followed him for a while butall he seemed to talk about wassaving whales – Obviously tryinghard to be a nice guy *Yawn*. Atthis point you will be saying “butthey’re all American” yes folks, wemay be a mighty little Island but‘little’ is the operative word and inthe world stakes the Yanksoutnumber us quite substantially.So to counteract the very Americantop leaderboard, here is the topfive as published in The

Independent on Thursday 1stMarch:

Richard Branson, everyonewants tips from this self-mademulti billionaire, he firstappeared on Twitter in 2008and recently bought shares inthe company, and he is a socialmedia force to be reckonedwith. When asked what thebiggest regret of his career wasin a recent interview, he replied:"Not starting Twitter." - OhRichard, you don’t have enoughfingers for all of the pies!

Sarah Brown, wife ofGordon. From Prime Ministerswife to passionate campaigner,Sarah has a huge Twitterfollowing (but she does make avery surprising number two).

Alan Carr ‘chatty man’ chatsincessantly on Twitter and goesdown a storm, I enjoy AlanCarr’s Tweets, he’s a national

treasure.Ricky Gervais. I have to admit

that I don’t find him funny butapparently lots of people onTwitter do, I guess now that he isan Academy Awards staple host hisappeal has skyrocketed.

Rob Brydon said Twitter was likea community but it had alsoopened him up to 'the mostincredible abuse’, yet this didn’tstop him using Twitter to announcethe birth of his 5th child...

Check them out for yourself:http://wefollow.com/tophttp://twittercounter.com/pages/100

http://twitaholic.com/www.independant.co.uk

Speaking of Ashton Kutcher...Recently I read that AshtonKutcher is set to play Steve Jobs in

Twitter tech, tips and transgressions from Stephanie Darkes. . .

Kutcher

Jobs

Number 4 in the ‘Popular Tweeters’ list: KimBloody Kardashian. She can’t really be thatinteresting, can she. . ?

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a film about his life. Having onlyseen pictures of him in his lateryears I thought that Steve Jobswould be pretty chuffed with thatbit of casting and then I foundthese pictures (prev page)… Canyou see the similarities? I knowwho I’d rather watch. . .

And speaking of ‘slebs’ onTwitter... Madonna made her oneand only appearance on Twitter atthe end of March to defend herselfover allegations that she wasglorifying drug use. DeadMau5took exception to Madonna saying"How many people in this crowdhave seen Molly," at a recentperformance in Miami. The Twitterrow was watched by millions butMau5 was left deflated whenMadonna tweeted: "I was referringto the song 'Have You SeenMolly?', written by my friendCedric Gervais who I almostworked with on my new album."Madonna has a new album out -MDNA - it has nothing to do with

drugs, honestly.

Important changes for FacebookIf you’re using facebook for

business you might have noticedthat your page has now bcome atimeline! “Oh no” you gasp “notmore changes!” Yes, ‘fraid so, thefolks at Facebook like to turneverything on its head every nowand again to keep us users on ourtoes. But don’t be scared, the newtimeline is actually pretty good, sorelax and embrace it. I won’t boreyou with all the details but here isa list of the key changes:

Goodbye landing pages andemail data capture! Facebookcertainly know how to dominate amarket, a lot of companies don’tuse mailing lists any more, theyrely solely on social media to talkto their clients. Facebook has nowremoved the ability to collect emailaddresses via your landing page /or direct them to one of your apps.Now you have to engage withyour Timeline content.

Hello cover image - you nowhave some prime real estate at thetop of your page – so make itstand out! See the notes below formore information. Your fans cannow message you directly - ILOVE this feature, you can nowspeak to your fans directly. It’s agreat opportunity to buildrelationships, encourage interactionand enhance your community.Your tabs are now apps and canbe found under your timeline onthe left.

Shiny new admin panel -making it far easier to keep trackof activity, monitor theeffectiveness of posts, pick upmessages & learn about fans. Youcan pin and highlight posts -making it easier to direct your fansto the posts you want them to see.

If you need help or for moreinformation, visit my blog

www.getyourbusinesstalking.co.ukConnect with me on Twitter

@stephaniedarkes

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This has been a very emotional issue; I’ve been scared, nostalgic, almost brought to tears and questioned my own sanity. And that was just The Muppets...The ArtistTranscending international boundaries but in a dead medium, The Artist was an obvious risk. As a tribute to silent cinema, it uses techniques of acting, expression and filming

that made it unique of its time, but The Artist is more than this - it tells of a turbulent relationship set in the merciless celebrity culture of yesteryear. Silent screen legend George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) befriends wannabe chorus girl Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo), but with the advent of ‘talkies’ Valentin’s career plummets into obscurity whilst Peppy’s stardom skyrockets. As Valentin struggles with his own pride and depression,

Peppy desperately tries to save her idol from himself. Jean Dujardin makes this movie his own with his tragic and powerful portrayal of a falling star (well, him and Uggie the dog: who is totally awesome!), furthermore the choice to opt for a platonic attraction between the main characters rather than a simplistic love story provides them with depth. The Artist goes beyond a nostalgia trip for silent movie fans, it emphasises the era’s strengths, the innocence and almost dream-like quality of its storytelling while at the same time providing a universally touching and profound story whose scope is only widened by its silence.

The Woman in BlackCinema seems to be loving its return to the haunted house genre recently. Now consider horror giants Hammer getting involved and you’ve really got something worth taking notice of. This is Daniel Radcliffe’s first outing since the Harry Potter franchise. Add to this pressure the story’s existing popularity on stage and as a book, this could have been a disaster, sending Radcliffe packing to the realm of forgotten childhood stars. Solicitor Arthur Kipps (Radcliffe) is assigned work on an isolated estate. The locals are fearful of his arrival, and quite rightly, for Kipps soon spots a mysterious lady in black, a spectre whose sightings have always awakened a terrible curse. This is an old school ‘spooky’ film with plenty of chills. It slowly creates atmosphere and vividly embraces its supernatural elements early on. This coupled with its use of beautiful period sets and costumes give the film a classically spine-tingling gothic feel, but it is ultimately a paint-by-numbers ghost film (complete with eerie Victorian dolls). Furthermore despite the fact that it escapes many trappings of modern horror such as gore, it embraces others such as cheap ‘stuff jumping out of you’ tactics which, although they work well at times, are overdone.

film April_2012.indd 2 03/04/2012 13:40

The MuppetsMUPPETS!!!! That’s right folks, move over CGI because they’re back. Remember when childrens entertainment was innocent and not about grooming them for consumer culture? Well the muppets have returned to show that you can still get away with a puppet made out of felt and cardboard. After discovering that The Muppet Studios are to be destroyed, three fans must persuade the legendary entertainers to reform, however after years apart, not to mention being out of the public eye, can the muppets reform..? ...And does the world still want them? I got a tad emotional watching this! The various stories of what the muppets have been doing since their split (ranging from selling-out to therapy!) makes the film borderline depressing at times, but these more mature aspects are well conceived and

outweighed by that sharp humour and charm that the muppets radiate. Combined, these elements provide stability. The only nagging negative is that some of the songs are simply naff. Apart from that this movie is a triumphant return to the simplicity of the earlier muppet films and was

clearly a labour of love for all involved. As a nostalgia trip for adults and introduction for children, The Muppets rules!

A Dangerous MethodThe odd thing about this film is it approaches the edge of perfection. As a look into the early years of the Psychoanalytical movement it is intriguingly analytical itself, adding new dimensions to the history. Furthermore with ‘Body Horror’ director David Cronenberg at the helm,

who better to present it? The film tackles the famous breakdown between Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) and Sigmund Freud (Viggo Mortensen), but adds the often overlooked role that Sabina Spielrein (patient of Jung and later psychoanalyst) and her affair with Jung had. Despite the fact that Keira Knightley (Spielrein) is out of her depth here, she just manages to tread water (even with an awful Russian accent). Whilst both Mortensen and Fassbender play their roles superbly, the character of Freud is barely touched upon. This seems part of the stunt in character development , which opts for symbolic roles rather than sympathetic beings. Furthermore the two main story elements (the Jung-Spielrein and Freud-Jung relationships) seem forced into a coherent causality. Ultimately A Dangerous Method ends up being almost too analytical: cold, rational and often void of emotion. This burdening flaw makes what is otherwise a fascinating character-driven drama difficult to engage with. Which is a pity.

Reviews From The Outer Rim recently attended ‘Jay and Silent Bob Get Old’ at The Hammersmith Apollo: Featuring the recording of a live podcast from director/actor Kevin Smith and actor Jason Mewes. For an article on the event, visit www.revewsfromtheouterrim.com.Also, this month sees the re-release of James Camerons tear-jerking classic Titanic on the 5th of April. Only this time you can watch the romantic nautical disaster in glorious 3D.

The Raven • The Devil Inside • John Carter • Iron Sky For more film reviews visit www.reviewsfromtheouterrim.com.

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CENTRALCROYDON:• Bar Red Square• Bar Ten• Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head• Dog & Bull• George• Goose on the

Market• Gun Tavern• Green Dragon • Half and Half

Lounge Bar• Milan Bar • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle• Steelpoint Tattoo• Surrey Cricketers• Tiger Tiger• Timebomb

Clothing• Yates’s Wine

Lodge

EAST CROY:• Builders Arms • Croydon Visitor

Centre• Glamorgan • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info

Centre• Warehouse

Theatre• Windmill

WEST CROY:• Bird in Hand • Sims Tattoos• Fox and Hounds

SOUTH END &SOUTH CROY:• Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon• Edge • Folly • LA Fitness

(Royal Oak)• La Spezia Deli

(Old Pharmacy - Swan &

Sugarloaf)

• Windsor Castle• Purley Arms • Rail View• Red Deer • Rupali• Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios• Stag & Hounds• Treehouse• Wheelwrights

Arms • Windsor Castle• Woodman • Zizzi

ADDISCOMBE:• Claret Free Hs• Cricketers

PURLEY:• Brass Monkey• Coffee Bay

(by Purley BR)• Elliott’s• Jolly Farmers• Rectory• Purley Pool• Station Cars

PURLEY WAY:• Gipsy Moth• Premier Travel

Inn Hotel• Green’s Gym

COULSDON:• The Pembroke

OLDCOULSDON:• The Fox• Tudor Rose

SANDERST’D:• Sanderstead BR• Stones Hair

Salon• Wine Cellar

SHIRLEY:• Cricketers• Crown• Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn

FORESTDALE:• McDermott’s

Fish Restaurant

SELHURST:• Two Brewers• Lion Inn

THORNTONHEATH:• The Lord Napier

WOODSIDEGREEN:• Beehive

SOUTHNORWOOD:• Portmanor

KENLEY:• Kenley Arms

WHYTELEAFE:• Whyteleafe

Tavern

Advertising in Deep-London:

Prices from just £10 upwardsdepending on type, size andplacementall prices are per month and VAT exemptdiscounts available for block booking etc

Advert design service available

To advertise please e-mail Angela the Editor at:[email protected]

Got something going on?We’re not psychic, people - let usknow! What’s on listings are FREE!

E-mail:[email protected]

What’s on? 21full weekly and daily guide

All our information was correct at the time ofgoing to press, but as the only certainty inlife is change, we suggest you check beforeheading out. The opinions and reviews whichfollow are those of the Editor and staff - ifyou have an issue to raise about them, pleasecontact us, rather than the venue.

Listings Index:Pick up your copyof Deep from any of these lovelyplaces:

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Last date forinclusion in May issue -

25 APRIL 2012

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Every Day:• Theatre: New Gold Friday 13th April until 29th April. Critically-acclaimed SignDance TheatreInternational perform their Olympic andParalympic inspired production followingfour unlikely characters in their search for'gold' A playful, witty and completelyirreverent look at competition andwinning. The evening also includesperformances of Half A Penny with musicfrom the band Dead Days Beyond Help.Usual times but special ticket prices for thisshow: £10/ £8 concs presented inassociation with Handprint Theatre whowill be performimg Soapy Sam for childrenon various dates.For more info please visitwww.warehousetheatre.co.uk or call thebox office on 020 8680 4060The Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road,Croydon CR0 2NF.• Museum: Dickens & London 9 Dec 2011 - 10 June 2012. Celebrate the 200th anniversary of thebirth of Charles Dickens in the first majorUK exhibition for over 40 years.Recreating the atmosphere of VictorianLondon through sound and projections,you'll be taken on a haunting journey todiscover the city that inspired his writings.Paintings, photographs, costume andobjects will illustrate themes that Dickenswove into his works, while rarely seenmanuscripts including Bleak House andDavid Copperfield – written in the author’sown hand – will offer clues to his creativegenius. During your visit you'll discoverhow Dickens' childhood experiences ofLondon, working in a blacking factorywhilehis father was locked away in adebtor's prison, were introduced into thestories he wrote. The great social questionsof the 19th century, including wealth andpoverty, prostitution, childhood mortalityand philanthropy, will also be examined, allof which set the scene for Dickens'greatest works.Highlights of the exhibition will include aninnovative audio-visual experience bringingto life the desk and chair where Dickensworked on his novels, and a speciallycommissioned film by one of the UK’sleading documentary filmmakers, WilliamRaban, which will explore the similaritiesbetween London after dark today and thenight time city described by Dickens over150 years ago.Adult £8 (£7 advance booking)Child/concession £6 (£5 advance booking)Museum of London, 150 London WallLondon EC2Y 5HN, tel: 020 7001 9844email: [email protected]/dickens

• Market: Surrey Street(Not Sunday) London’s oldest continuouslyrunning market since 1276, with fruit andveg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hotfood, all sorts. Use it or lose it, people. Open Mon-Sat from ridiculously early... Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Museum: Museum Of CroydonMonday - Saturday, 11am - 5pm(Closed Sundays and Bank Holidays)Permanent Galleries:Croydon History - Follow the story ofCroydon from 1800 to now.The Riesco Collection of Chinese Ceramicsis on permanent display in the RiescoGallery at Croydon Clocktower.The Croydon Art Collection contains over2000 paintings, prints and drawings.Depictions of local scenes and landmarksare stored alongside works by HenryMoore, Bridget Riley and Bengali poetRabindranath Tagore. Museum OfCroydon, Clocktower, Katharine Street• Wildlife: Beaver Waterworld We at deep are HUGE fans of BeaverWaterworld, and not just because of theamusing name. They’ve got birds, beavers,lizards, snakes, crocodiles, tons of otheranimals. A registered charity, BWW is alsoa rehoming centre. “Our aim at BeaverWater World Reptile Zoo is to be a refuge- a Noah's Ark for rare and rescuedreptiles”. Open EVERY Day except XmasDay - 10am to 5pm. Adults - £4.00,Children - £3.00. Beaver Water World,Waylands Farm, Approach Road, Tatsfield,Nr. Westerham. Kent. TN16 2JT, Tel:01959 577747.www.beaverwaterworld.com• Farm: Fanny’s FarmTo complement Beaver Waterworld...Farmshop, Tearooms and tea gardens,Childrens play area, Florists, Chickens, pigsand sheep, The famous treehouse,Landscape garden/garden centre, chickens,2 new vietnamese pot bellied pigs - Burtand Ernie - and sheep. Fanny's Farm Shop,is the perfect place to enjoy a cream tea,fresh coffee or a ploughman's lunchfeaturing local cheeses. Fanny's features awide range of local produce to buy,including jam and marmalade, honey, floralarrangements, pickle, mustards, freshvegetables, bacon and eggs, cakes andhandmade gifts. Open - 9.00am to6.00pm every day including bank holidays,although we do stop serving teas at5.00pm. Fannys Farm Shop, MarkEdgeLane, Merstham, Surrey RH1 3AWemail: [email protected]: 01737 554444 http://fannysfarmshop.co.uk

1st Monday of themonth:• Music: Folk/Blues Singers &Musicians NightNo need to book just come along to singand play! £3. Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon, CR01BD. www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

1st Wednesday:• Quiz: Wendy’s Wednesday Quiz Fun and fab pub quiz. 8pm. £1 per person.Loads of prizes including bonus prizes forthe excellent ‘music bingo’ round.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Live JazzLive jazz every first Wednesday of themonth. 8pm-10.45pm (bar opens at 7pm).Generally £9. See daily what’s on or visitthe website for who’s playing.Sylvie’s Place, Warlingham Jazz Club,Croydon PO Athletic and Social Club,Trenham Drive, Warlingham,CR6 9RU. 01883 622269.www.sylviesplace.co.uk

1st Thursday:• Live Music: The New Delta BigBandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazz atits best! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The LordNapier, 111 Beaulah Road, ThorntonHeath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.• Gay: Quiz Monthly quiz night. The Bird In Hand, 291Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 0208683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com• Music: Rob’s Musical ZooUnplugged music. 8.30pm.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon• Quiz: The Stag and HoundsHosted by wonderful Wendy - £1pp. 9pm.The Stag and Hounds, 26 Selsdon RoadSouth Croydon CR2 6PB020 8686 0007

1st Friday:• Club: Groove OnFunk club. Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837. • Poetry: Poets Anonymous Friday Poetry at the Fairfield Hotel Bar, 1Lansdowne Road, Croydon, Surrey CR92BN. Floor spots. From 8pm. £2 waged,£1 unwaged. Contact Peter for furtherdetails; [email protected], 020 86459956.

What’s On - Regular Every Day / Monthly Events:

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1st Saturday:• Club: Boogie Nights 8pm - MidnightBar open for food and drink from 6.30pm£5 Disco only£10 Disco and Curry Combo(Curry £7.50 on own)Boogie Nights is the newest and funkiestnight in Caterham! DJ John Lazenby playsthe tunes you know and love and isguaranteed to get you on the dance floor.Housed in our new look Studio, youll betransported to the golden era of Disco.Dress to impress and be prepared to danceall night long! Free ticket for the bestdressed! Booking line: 01883 330380. More infoemail [email protected] or visit www.the-arc-caterham.co.ukThe Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham,Surrey, CR3 5XY

1st Sunday:• Green: Heathfield Ecology CentreNormally open from around 10 o'clockuntil about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever issooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of eachmonth except for 1st January or whenthere is another event. Established in 1997and operates out of the Old Orchard inthe grounds of Heathfield House. Thecentre raises awareness of Croydon's greenheritage and helps to preseve theborough's biodiversity. For full details ofactivities and membership visitwww.heathfield-ecology.org.ukThe Old Orchard, Heathfield, CoombeLane, Croydon CR0 5RH• Music: ‘The Ukelele & OtherMachines’ Ukelele JamA relaxed, informal ukulele play-alongsession where you are the band! Everyonejoins in, playing songs from our ownsongbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi,Radiohead, The Smiths and everything inbetween. Bring your own ukulele if youhave one but we do have a couple ofspares if you want to try it out. Absolutelyall abilities welcome, from completenovices to good players. Everyone can playsomething, we guarantee it!See “the ukulele & Other Machines” sitewww.ukulele.website.orange.co.uk formore details and link to all our songs. Green Dragon, 58-60 High St, CroydonCR0 1NA. 1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar

2nd Monday:• Group: Croydon WritersWriting group. 7.45pm. New Memberswelcome.. Annual membership - £16.00Meetings - £2 per meeting for members,£4 per meeting for non members. Moreinfo from www.croydonwriters.org.ukThe Library, Croydon Cloctower, KatharineStreet, Croydon

2nd Tuesday:• Comedy: Comedy Nightwith host Gareth and guest comedians.From 8.30pm. The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street,Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749For more events, find us on facebook!• Music: Folk Music Live folk band - occasionally this eventdoesn’t occur so please check with the pubthat it’s on before heading out, or just godown there anyway, it’s a nice proper pub.The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Event: Antiques Fair Sunbury antiques is the largest and longestrunning bi-weekly market in the countryOpening hours - 9.00-14.00 (Trade from6.30). Free entry for punters!Organiser:Sunbury Antiques, 01932 230946 [email protected] For more details see www.kempton.co.ukor call 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards from course

2nd Wednesday:• Comedy: - NEW! 10 acts all hosted by Sarah Iles - Mix ofnew and established acts performing openmic comedy. 8 - 10:30pm. FREE!Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]

2nd Thursday:• Live Music: The BrianHetherington Jazz BandListen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

2nd Saturday:• Poetry: Poets Anonymous Saturday Poetry in the Primary Room,United Reformed Church, AddiscombeGrove, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 5LP. 2.30-4.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to readand share. Contact Peter for furtherdetails; [email protected], 020 86459956• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPlaying Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia.FREE entry! The Green Dragon, 58-60High St, Croydon CR0 1NA

3rd Monday:• Music: Folk/Blues Singers &Musicians NightNo need to book just come along to singand play! £3. Croydon Folk and BluesClub, Ruskin House, 23 Coombe Road,Croydon, CR0 1BD.www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

3rd Tuesday:• History: East Surrey FamilyHistory SocietyMeetings on 3rd Tuesday of the month inthe small hall of East Croydon UnitedReformed Church. Doors Open at 7.30 pmand the meeting starts at 8.00pm. Seedaily what’s on for details of this month’stalk / event. East Croydon UnitedReformed Church, Addiscombe Grove,Croydon CR0 5LP

3rd Thursday:• Music: The New Delta Big BandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazz atits best! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.• Gay: QuizThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL, 020 8683, 3104www.birdinhand.co.uk.

3rd Friday:• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPLAYING A CORNUCOPIA OF SOUNDSINCLUDING 50 2S 60 2S 70 2S , BLUES ,SOUL , FUNK , ROCK , JAZZ ,PSYCHEDELIA . EVERY 3RD FRIDAY ATTHEE OVAL TAVERN. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, Surrey, CR0 6BR Tel: 020 86866023, http://ovaltavern.co.uk

What’s On - Regular Monthly Events:

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3rd Saturday:• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPlaying Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia.FREE entry!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High St,Croydon CR0 1NA

3rd Sunday:• Group: Heathfield Ecology CentreNormally open from around 10 o'clockuntil about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever issooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of eachmonth except for 1st January or whenthere is another event. Established in 1997and operates out of the Old Orchard inthe grounds of Heathfield House. Thecentre raises awareness of Croydon's greenheritage and helps to preseve theborough's biodiversity. For full details ofactivities and membership visitwww.heathfield-ecology.org.ukThe Old Orchard, Heathfield, CoombeLane, Croydon CR0 5RH• Music: ‘The Ukelele & OtherMachines’ Ukelele JamA relaxed, informal ukulele play-alongsession where you are the band! Everyonejoins in, playing songs from our ownsongbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi,Radiohead, The Smiths and everything inbetween. Bring your own ukulele if youhave one but we do have a couple ofspares if you want to try it out. Absolutelyall abilities welcome, from completenovices to good players. Everyone can playsomething, we guarantee it!See “the ukulele & Other Machines”websitehttp://ukulele.website.orange.co.uk formore details and link to all our songs. Green Dragon58-60 High St, Croydon CR0 1NA1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar.

4th Tuesday:• Live Music: Open MicSimon Hughes's blues and acoustic OpenMike nights. We let you entertain us! From8.30pm. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk• Event: Antiques Fair Sunbury antiques is the largest and longestrunning bi-weekly market in the countryOpening hours - 9.00-14.00 (Trade from6.30). Free entry for punters!Organiser:Sunbury Antiques, 01932 230946 [email protected]

For more details see www.kempton.co.ukor call 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards from course

4th Thursday:• Live Music: The BrianHetherington Jazz BandListen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

4th Saturday:• Music: DJ BennyManyHatsPlaying the way only Benny can.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk

Last Monday:• Science: Cafe ScientifiqueFree talks and discussions with a scientiston a subject of topical interest on the lastMonday of each month from 18:30 to20:00 in the Braithwaite Hall (CroydonClocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon) -no ticket necessary.

Last Tuesday:• Music: Live JazzJazz on the Last Tuesday of Every Monthat 8.30 PM. See www.jazznet.co.uk forwho’s on.The Golden Lion, 116 Sydenham RoadLondon SE26 5JX, Tel: 020 8778 6859Car Parking at rear of Pubwww.jazznet.co.uk

Last Thursday:• Quiz: The Bedford Tavern From 7pm. £2 per person - all proceeds tolocal charities. Great prizes inc. drinkvouchers for winners.The Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road,Croydon CR0 2EF. 020 8688 2584

Last Friday:• Club: Histree HouseLast Friday of the month. Old-skool house.Open til 3am. Free entry for Treehousediners, otherwise £5.Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837www.treehousepeople.com

• Music: Party Night Last Friday of the month.R’n’B, Soul, Funk,Reggae, Hip Hop past and present. FREE!The Windmill, 224 St James’ Road,Croydon CR0 2BW,020 8684 2272www.thewindmillcroydon.com

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Every Monday:• Quiz: Green DragonWendy’s marvellous pub quiz.8pm every Monday. Jackpot round!£1.50 in, winning team gets the cash.Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA• Music: Community Choir 6pm, upstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Games: Poker NightPoker at the Jolly Farmers.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Games: Poker and Darts From 8.30pm.The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Club: Soap Company DJs 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne)from 7pm til midnight. Free entry before10pm. With exotic sounds, altered groovesand alien beats from The Soap Co DJs..Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Group: Croydon Natural Historyand Scientific Society meets on most Monday evenings from19:45 at the Small Hall of the UnitedReform Church in Addiscombe Grove, EastCroydon. For more information about thesociety go towww.greig51.freeserve.co.uk/cnhss/index.htm#about• Quiz: Rough Trade Shop Pop Quiz 8pm-10pm £1 per team member, up to 6in a team. Picture rounds, name that tunerounds, anagrams, bad puns (good puns?)and brain teasing musical questions fromPaul Guided Missile. Prizes include wine,Rough Trade Shop Record Tokens andCheezy Wotsits for best team name!The Lexington, 96-98 Pentonville RoadLondon, N1 9JB. Tel: 020 7837 5371www.thelexington.co.uk• Games: Magic the Gathering with M&M Games.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon

What’s On - Regular Weekly Events:

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• Music: Slow Jams, Neo Soul,Smooth Jazz NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Games: Wii Bowling Night - NEW! Every Monday from 7pm. The Ship, 47High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD. 0208688 2810, www.theshipcroydon.com

Every Tuesday:• Music: Jazz Jam SessionEvery Tuesday Night at The Lord NapierJazz Pub. All welcome.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 9-10pmAlso croydon roller derby are taking onnew skaters so anyone who's Interestedplease contact us at [email protected] [email protected] • Quiz: The Pembroke8pm. 50p per person per round. Plus 2 for1 on pizzas.The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead ValleyRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA020 8763 0800• Quiz: The Builders ArmsFun general knowledge quiz.The Builders Arms, 65 Leslie Park Road,Croydon, CR0 6TP, 020 8654 1803• Club: Cheap Sheep Tuesdays DJ Analog playing all your indie, rock,metal, alternative, techno, electro, drum &bass and dubstep classics!Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com• Music: Freedom of Expressionpresents the best in acoustic music,comedy, poetry and magic - see dailywhat’s on for who’s playing when. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Karaoke: The Odd Shoe Give it some welly. Every Tuesday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Open Mic from 7.30. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, Surrey, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023, http://ovaltavern.co.uk• Fitness: Yoga ClassesEvery Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 aclass for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley.0208 763 2629

• Dance: Strictly Fun DancingBallroom Dancing every Tuesday.Beginners - 7pm. £6Improvers - 7.45pm. £6Social Dance - 8.30pm. £7Buy two sessions for £11, 3 for £16.Arnham Gallery, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG.Box Office: 020 8688 9291www.fairfield.co.uk• Community: Women-OnlySwimming SessionsSouth Norwood pool: Tuesdays 8-10pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council• Music: Motown Hits NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Club: Croydon Outdoor Pursuits &Social Events Club (COPSE) Meets on Tuesdays from 8.15pm at thehall of South Croydon United Church,Heathfield Road by jct with AberdeenRoad for a wide range of talks, quizzes,interactive socials and for planning walksand cycles at the weekend. Club membersalso adjourn to the Skylark pub, South Endafter 10.30pm. All welcome. Moreinformation at www.copsecroydon.co.uk

Every Wednesday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand SaturdaysPermanent Galleries: Local History -The development of our area from earliesttimes. It contains sections on Geology andfossils, Stone Ages, Bronze and Iron Ages,the Romans in East Surrey, an Anglo-Saxoncorner, medieval times and modern history.Also stages various transient exhibitions.Admission is free but donations arewelcomed.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Quiz: Mike K’s GeneralKnowledge QuizFrom 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledgequiz, non-members welcome!Caterham Club, 10A, Croydon Road,Caterham CR36QB• Quiz: Foxley HatchEvery Wednesday from 8pm. £1 entry perperson - winner takes all. Maximum 4 on ateam. The Foxley Hatch, Purley

• Event: Talent NightTalent Night Open Mic. Every Wednesday.£200 prize! The Whyteleafe Tavern, 208 GodstoneRoad, Whyteleafe, CR3 0EEwww.whyteleafetavern.com• Dance: DancerciseKeep fit and meet new people at this funand friendly beginners dance class. Comeand join the fun every Wednesday.7.30pm. £3.50.Central Court, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Music: Midweek Music ClubVarious acts. If we know who’s playingyou’ll find the info in the daily what’s on...The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Dance: Swing Patrol swing dance classes, 7pm, £5.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Club: Cake WednesdayDJ Thom Dorke playing the best in Indie,Electro and Cheese. £1 PINTS OFCARLSBERG AND OLDE ENGLISH 8PM-11PM. £1 before 10pm £2 afterJoin our Cake Club on Facebook forguaranteed FREE entry all nighthttp://www.facebook.com/groups/224336347623164/Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Games: Poker and Darts From 8.30pm.The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon CR0 2DW, 020 8684 3544• Social: Croydon D&S Social ClubARE YOU DIVORCED - SEPARATED - orWIDOWED ? Stuck indoors with nowhereto go? THEN THIS IS THE CLUB FORYOU!!! Why not come along and give it atry Plenty of Car parking spaces DISCO,DANCING and VARIOUS EVENTSduring the year - Car rally, DartsTournament, Saturday Dances, Days out,Weekends away, Outings to Warners,Yarmouth, Isle of Wight, etc. etcWhatever your age, we all get lonelyWhy not meet new people, make newfriends and enjoy yourselves. Bring yourown alcohol. No admittance after 10.00pmSmart Jeans - NO TRAINERSMembership £10 per yearWednesday Admission £3.00Every Wednesday evening. 8-11pm. St Mary's Church hall, Wellesley RoadCroydon opposite Station RoadNear West Croydon Bus/Tram/TrainStation. www.croydon-ds.co.uk

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• Gay: Darts & Free PoolFrom 7pm. All welcome.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Arts: Croydon Camera ClubCroydon Camera Club meets weekly onWednesday evenings (except in August)Start Time: 7.45pm for 8pm.Finish Time: Around 10:00pm.Tea and coffee are served during theinterval. Checkwww.croydoncameraclub.org.uk to seewhat we are doing. If you are interested inphotography, novice or expert, you arealways welcome. . Shirley Methodist Church Hall, EldonAvenue, Shirley, Croydon, CR0 8SDThere is ample parking if you are driving. The Hall is is approximately 1.5 milesfrom East Croydon Station as you travelalong the A232 heading towards Shirley.Alternatively buses 119, 194, 466, 198,and 130 stop close by. • Music: Soulful HouseNEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(next to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: Live Music Every Wednesday from 8pm. See dailywhat’s on or posters in the pub for who’splaying. The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810Email: [email protected]

Every Thursday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand Saturdays. See every Wednesday.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Tattoos: Walk-In DayNo need to book in advance on aThursday only at Sims, get there early!11am-6pm. Sims Tattoos, 69 WindmillRoad, Croydon, CR0 2XR, 020 8684 6967• Quiz: Two BrewersFun charity quiz night from 9.30pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: Purley ArmsEvery Thursday. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, SouthCroydon, 020 8686 3792• Quiz: JF Big Quiz£1 per player, win prizes, league points,and maybe cash in our Open The Boxgame! New teams always welcome.

The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFrom 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037• Music: Unplugged Live local acoustic acts, every Thursday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Club: DAMMIT!!South London’s biggest rock night just gotbigger! DJ ZOE URCHIN plays rock,metalcore, emo, screamo, classic rock,alternative, nu-metal, pop punk and ska. Doors 7pm til late, free entry before 10pm,CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 7pm-10pm,£1.50 Jager shots all night.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Live JazzCheck monthly regular events for who’splaying when. 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Dance: Clog DancingFree taster sessions for newcomers to tryout some lively N.W. English clog teamdances - wear trainers or similar footwear.Musicians with portable acousticinstruments always welcome too. PLEASECALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as someThursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm.FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056(eves.) for detailsUnited Reformed Church Hall, cornerEnmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood• Dance: Morris DancingNorth Wood Morris Men are teachingMen's Morris to complete beginners onThursday evenings at the Scout Hut inPurley Park Road at 8.15 pm andnewcomers are welcome(first call 020 8668 1830) seewww.northwoodmorris.org.uk• Dance: The South East LondonLindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop(Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. Nopartner required and Caron and Stevespecialise in helping those with two leftfeet get together with those with tworight. Doors open 7.30pmBeginners Class 7.45pmIntermediate Class 8.30pmFreestyle (practice) 9.15pmThe Royston Club, 85 Royston RoadPenge, London, SE20 7QWwww.52ndstreetjump.co.uk• Gay: Quiz The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com

• Burlesque / Cabaret: Tassel Club Our Thursday Show - £28 summer supper& show. £15 show only - fully seated,candle lit cabaret. Doors from 7.30pm.Contact [email protected] or call07981 909 177 for direct bookings for anyThursday night show.The Bath House, 8 BishopsgateChurchyard, City of London, EC2M 3TJ• Music: Lunchtime JazzJazz Every Thursday Lunchtime.Starts 12.15 - 2.00 pm Admission FREE!The Clocktower Cafe, Katherine Street,Croydon, Surrey CR9 1ET• Music: Lover’s Rock & ReggaeOldies NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(next to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ Cherrybomb From 8pm.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810Email: [email protected]• Music: Soap Co DJs Disco – Wonky – Dub -DreamPop -Exotica – 70’s, 80’s, 90’s - Funk – Art Rockto name but a few from The SoapCompany. 5pm – 4am. Free before 11 £3 after18+ venue, Please remember to bring yourID to sign up to our membership system,we accept driving licenses or passports orpass logo approved cards.Dress code - Smart casual wear must beworn. We don’t allow: Dirty work wear,baseball caps, Stone Island or hoodies(Except on sundays when there will be a30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com• Karaoke: Lansdowne Lounge From 7pm. Lansdowne Lounge, 1Lansdowne Road, Croydon, CR9 2BN

Every Friday:• Music: Live MusicAlternating live bands and karaoke everyFriday NightThe Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EF, 020 8688 2584 • Karaoke: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8.30pm every Friday night.Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF


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• Karaoke: Two Brewers Every Friday night. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Music: Oval DJsThe regular Oval faves, plus guests,keeping Fridays funky.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR020 8686 6023, www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Live MusicEvery Friday night from 8pm. Plus 2 for 1on Corona and Jacques.The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead ValleyRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA020 8763 0800• Event: Wii NightEvery Friday evening.The View, 188 selsdon Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.• Club: Crash & Carry Start your weekend with a bang!With DJ MagooFREE entry before 10pmCheap Sheep now 7-11pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Photography: Camera ClubCamera Club meeting in West Croydonevery Friday night welcomes visitors andnew members. Full programme of eventsincluding print/slide talks, portraitevenings, competitions, etc.Ample parking.Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visitwww.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk• Karaoke: Karaoke Madness FROM 9pm - MIDNIGHT) *FREE ADM B410pm* The Norbury & Edge 1300 LondonRoad Norbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Club: The EdgeTHE EDGE NIGHT CLUB OPEN EVERY FRI& SAT. CLUB CLASSICS & CHARTANTHEMS tll 3am*FREE PUB 2 CLUB ADM B4 10pm*The Norbury & Edge 1300 London RoadNorbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Music: DJsA range of DJs playing eclectic tunes andrequests. Every Friday and Saturday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: 70s / 80s Soul Classics andParty Anthems NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(next to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ Linton Pop to party anthems, Cheesy tunes &Electro with Linton. 5pm – 4am. Freebefore 10 £4 after. 18+ venue, Please

remember to bring your ID to sign up toour membership system, we accept drivinglicenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies(Except on sundays when there will be a30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com• Karaoke: The Fox & Hounds -NEW!Every Friday from 8pm.The Fox and Hounds, 1 London Road,West Croydon, CR0 2RE

Every Saturday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand SaturdaysSee every Wednesday.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Music: VariousLive music every Saturday Night.The Surrey Cricketers, corner of LowerCoombe Street and West Street, Croydon.• Market: Garden Market The Alma Garden Market hopes to createa vibrant bustling market place in the largeprivate courtyard of The Alma pub inCrystal Palace. It runs every Saturday withover 20 stalls selling plants & flowers,beauty products & treatments, exotic oils,olive oils, capers, strawberries, chocolates,jewellery, hand made cards, rugs,leatherwear, knitwear, deli produce & awide range of arts & crafts from localartists, plus hot food and collectables - andthe Jerk Chicken man will be there!10am - 4pmThe Alma, 95 Church Road, CrystalPalace, London SE19www.thealmapub.com• Club: Linton Saturday night's music is a mixture ofdance-driven, bass-heavy sounds... fromDubstep, Drum n Bass, Old Skool Jungle,HardStyle, Old Rave Tunes, 90's UKGarage, Big 'Phat' Beats, Grime, Ragga,HipHop, Subtle acid breaks, Electro,Moombahton, Techno, Trojan Ska & Dubfrom DJ LINTON. Because it’s war on thedancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till9pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

• Club: Tiger Tiger Tiger and Raffles Bar: with Capital FM DesPaul and Chris Brooks playing out the bestin commercial party and danceanthems.Groovy Wonderland: 70’s and80’s floor fillers. Club: Commercial House.Admission free before 10pm, £7 after.Guestlist free before 11pm, £5 after. Dresscode: Dress to Impress - No Sportswear.Tiger Tiger, 14-16 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1GT. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk• Music: The Edge THE EDGE NIGHT CLUB OPEN EVERY FRI& SAT. CLUB CLASSICS & CHARTANTHEMS tll 3am*FREE PUB 2 CLUB ADM B4 10pm*The Norbury & Edge 1300 London RoadNorbury Croydon SW16 4DG• Music: New Orleans JazzQuality live jazz every Saturday Night.From 8.30pm. £6 entry includes free raffle.Blackheath Hockey Club, Rubens Street,Sydenham, SE6 4DH (behind Old RutlandPub)• Music: Various Live music most Saturday nights.The Good Companions, Hamsey Green,South Croydon. 020 8657 6655• Gay: Party NightEvery Saturday nigt is party night at TheBird. The Bird In Hand, 291 SydenhamRoad, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Burlesque: Tassel Club Tassel Club Supper Club.Contact [email protected] fordirect bookings Proud Cabaret, London.www.proud.co.uk• Kids: Storytime with JennyLockyer Stories, songs, puppetry, activities and lotsof fun! It's aimed at 3-7 year olds, but allare welcome!It's every Saturday and it's FREE!1pm-3pm.Upstairs at the Green Dragon58-60 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1NA• Community: Women-OnlySwimming Sessions Thornton Heath pool: Saturday 4.45 -6.45pm. New Addington pool: Saturdays2.30-3.30pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council• Music: DJsA range of DJs playing eclectic tunes andrequests. Every Friday and Saturday.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon

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What’s On - Weekly Events / Daily Guide:

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• Music: Celebration Saturdays -Party Night NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: DJ Schminky House & Amp. 8pm – 4am. Free before 10£5 after. 18+ venue, Please remember tobring your ID to sign up to ourmembership system, we accept drivinglicenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies(Except on sundays when there will be a30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com• Music: Live MusicVarious acts. Every Saturday evening.Lansdowne Lounge, 1 Lansdowne RoadCroydon, Surrey, CR9 2BN• Music: Live Music Live music at The Oval - see daily what’son for who’s playing when. From 8pm.FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023

Every Sunday:• Music: New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The LordNapier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor,raffle, great atmosphere at one of thelongest running Jazz Pubs in Great BritainThe Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Music: Live Jazz Lunchtime Jazz every Sunday from 1pm.See daily what’s on for who’s playing thismonth. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Live Blues Live music at The Oval - see daily what’son for who’s playing when.From 5.30pm.FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Quiz: The ViewEvery Sunday evening.The View, 188 selsdon Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.• Quiz: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF

• Quiz: Two BrewersFun charity quiz night from 8pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: The Spread Eagle Fun quiz with round prizes as well as mainprize. £1 per person. From 7pm. The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine St,Croydon, CR0 1NX, 020 8781 1134• Karaoke: The White HorseEvery Sunday Night from 7pm.The White Horse, 1 Selhurst Road,Selhurst, South Norwood, 020 8240 0948• Music: Open Mic Musicians (all instruments) welcome. Withone of our 4 fantastic hosts: Dave Mac,Rob Cushman, Neil Mac and Steve BrightThe Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Poker: The Alma Tavern From 6pm. The Alma Tavern, LowerAddiscombe Road, Addiscombe, EastCroydon• Music: Acoustic Sundays From classical to folk, poetry to unpluggedpunk rock, Scream Lounge's acousticnights guarantee you a night to remember.Most evenings are free entry, don't runlate, so you won't ruin your week with aMonday hangover! 7pm start. Seewww.myspace.com/screamstudios or dailylistings for what's on and when.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN• Music: Sunday Jazz Lunch From midday until 4pm every Sunday, whynot come down for a delicious roast dinnerstraight from the club’s acclaimed kitchens(not compulsory for entry but highlyrecommended!) and enjoy a couple of setsof laid back music from some of London’sbest musicians and singers.Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club, 47 Frith Street,London W1D 4HT Box Office: 020 74390747. www.ronniescotts.co.uk• Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 2pm till 4pmAlso croydon roller derby are taking onnew skaters so anyone who's Interestedplease contact us at [email protected] [email protected]• Gay: Open The BoxEvery Sunday at 7pm.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Community: Women-OnlySwimming SessionsPurley pool: Sundays 2.30-3.30pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices and

timetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council• Music: Soulful Sundays - ModernSoul and Rare Groove Classics - A new and exciting intimate spot for themature soul and Jazz lovers to Lounge,Eat, Dance and Meet. In the heart ofCroydon Town.NEW Jazz and Soul Bar - strictly over 25s.The Soulful Cellar, 90B High Street,Croydon CR0 1ND, 0208 688 0009(nest to Tacolisa, opposite Il Ponte)Open Mon - Sun: 12:00 - 04:00Facebook page: The Soulful Cellar• Music: The Sunday Service From 7pm. Nothing like any other night...no rock, no metal, just all your fav cheesytunes from DJs Ritchie and Pete -plus....£25 bar tab to be won every week!.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810Email: [email protected]• Music: Over 30s Night 7pm-till late. Over 30’s motown (singlesnight). £3.00 all night. 18+ venue, Pleaseremember to bring your ID to sign up toour membership system, we accept drivinglicenses or passports or pass logo approvedcards. Dress code - Smart casual wearmust be worn. We don’t allow: Dirty workwear, baseball caps, Stone Island orhoodies (Except on sundays when therewill be a 30 plus policy)Bad Apple Croydon, 3 - 7 Park Street, Croydon, CR0 1YDhttp://badapple.cohttp://the-soapco.blogspot.com

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apr2012 10/4/12 10:09 am

Mon 09 April• Bank Holiday: Easter Monday• Event: Bar BootyA one-off Easter marketEaster BBQ, Vinatge Stall, HandmadeClothes, Cds, DVDs, Books, A Raffle andmuch more. From 11am (10am for sellers -contact Kellieanne on 07931 [email protected]).Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Event: Harness Horse ParadeAn annual parade of horses, ponies anddonkeys and their carriages.The venue is the South of EnglandShowground, Ardingly, West Sussex RH17 6TLFor details, see: www.lhhp.co.uk

Tue 10• Event: Havana Cuban NightGreat Cuban, Spanish and Latin music,jugs of sangria, flavoured tequila andcocktails.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]

Wed 11• Event: Anne Summers Night LADIES ONLY! 7.30pm-10pm.There will be fun games lots of giggles & araffle which is in with your entry at just £5Make sure you dont miss a bloody goodnight out & feel free to bring your friendsalong. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Rock ‘n’ Roll Cocktails50’s and 60’s music, Rock ‘n’ Roll andRockabilly. Cocktail menu is 2 for 1. Deals on shots and bombs. .The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Theatre: Sense and SensibilityUntil Saturday 14th. Various times andprices, for more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Thu 12• Music: Gin Joint Jukebox with DJ Dapper Dan playing swing, jazz,blues and soul. 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Club: The Slaughterhouse FetishBall 8pm-4am. £4 before 10pm £6 afterIt’s that time again, we open the door todeviance and self-expression. This Easter we are celebrating the art ofcross-dressing and we want you to dress asthe opposite sex. .Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: DJ CherrybombStart the weekend early with DJCherrybomb. Playing the very best in rock,metal, indie and more.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: The Truth Is MoreComplicated Than That:Zine & Not Heard # 4 Release DateDOORS: 7.30pmADM: £4/£3AGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyEvent: The Truth Is More ComplicatedThan That:Zine & Not Heard # 4 Release DateLive acts: Ghost Pennies +

Nasdaq/FTSE100 + CousinGenre: instrumental/experiementalVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700

Fri 13• Music: Dr Smutglove presents:Live Band Karaoke! plus PS3 Rock Band ChallengeSing live with rock/punk covers band DrSmutglove, or play live PS3 Rock Band liveon stage with your mates!FREE ENTRY Starts 7pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Music: Carbon SkylineLive music at The Farmers. 9.30pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: DJ Seanpresents the very best in rock, metal andalternative music. Open til 2am. The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: Loudfest 2012A NIGHT OF SUPERB MUSICFEATURING.... The Loudness, Mordecai,MLC Rock, Press to Meco And introducing'COTZ'It isn't often that you hear of a group ofpeople going out of their way to do gooddeeds for others; most rock bands seekfame and fortune, but one Croydon bandhas a different agenda. The Loudness wereformed in 2004 by a father and his then15 year old son and their friends to raisemoney for a one off charity gig forCroydon Mencap. The gig went so welland raised more money than theyexpected, so they decided to repeat theventure. 8 years later, they are still going,having raised in excess of £30,000 alongthe way for various good causes. On 13thApril this year, The Loudness will play onelast time. . .Tickets cost £8 in advance (£5 under 18’s)and can be obtained [email protected] or fromAngelene (07810 793609)DON'T MISS OUT - ALL AGES, CHEAPENTRY AND A WEALTH OF VARIETY!Croydon Conference CentreFolly's End, 5-9 Surrey Street, Croydon,CR0 1RG

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• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub April is a magic month, spring returns asthe days get longer and warmer, and wecelebrate both St George’s Day andWilliam Shakespeare’s birthday togetheron April 23rd. So we have decided to

bring you a month of Shakespeare’sfinest. We hope you can join us.9th April: HAMLET3pm and 8pm. FREE ENTRY!The RSC puts a modern-spin onShakespeare's Hamlet, in this filmed fortelevision version of their stageproduction. The Prince of Denmark seeksvengeance after his father is murderedand his mother marries the murderer.The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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• Music: The Real JD SessionsDOORS: 8pmADM: FREEAGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyEvent: The Real JD SessionsLive acts: Skinny Love + JD Smith + MikeNewshamGenre: blues/rock/punkVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700• Film: The Skin I Live In (15)2.30pm & 6.30pm. For more info pleasevisit www.fairfield.co.uk or call the boxoffice on 020 8688 9291. Fairfield Halls,Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Sat 14• Sport: The Grand NationalLive on BBC TV.• Music: DreadzoneThe STAND! strand returns to Fairfield witha cracker in the shape of Dreadzone aspart of their UK tour celebrating the re-release of album ‘Second Light’. Don’tmiss! Doors 7pm. Support act on at 8,Dreadzone after. £12 in.STAND! at Fairfield,Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 orbook online at www.fairfield.co.ukor at www.standatfairfield.co.uk• Music: All-Ages Rock night with:Reckless Ambition, Blaze Tracy, SilentCrowd & more tbcUpstairs at Scream LoungeAll ages welcome, under 14s must beaccompanied by a paying adult.£5 entry. Starts 7pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Music: PJ da DJ’s Rock of Ages –The Grunge YearsStep back in time with PJ da DJ - Playingthe music rock and metal we know youlove, but with a 90's flavour. Bar open til2am. The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: Saviour Managementpresents:This Is Colour, Rough Hands, Black Shapes,Guilty Conscience, Beyond Hurt, We DieTonight (Metalcore)Downstairs at Scream Lounge£7 entry. Ages 16+ Welcome. Doors 7pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]

• Music: DJ Rob Delta playing psychedelia, soul and funk.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Bird Dog BandLive music at The Farmers. 9.30pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Bemused B’Mused are South London Based BluesRock Band – Playing covers (& someoriginal songs) from decades too far in thepast to mention up to more modern stuff,but all of it good no-nonsense Blues /Rock. From 8pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: EuroHEEDFEST II - thesecond annual European Guided ByVoices day!!DOORS: 3pm-3amADM: £5advAGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyEvent: EuroHEEDFEST II - the secondannual European Guided By Voices day!!Live acts: Band of PricksGenre: alternative/inieVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700BUY ONLINE: http://windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings/eventdetails/14-apr-12-euroheedfest-ii--the-second-annual-european-guided-by-voices-day-the-windmill/andhttp://www.wegottickets.com/event/157922• Film: Submarine (15)2.30pm & 6.30pm. For more info pleasevisit www.fairfield.co.uk or call the boxoffice on 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: DreadzonePart of the STAND! strand. 8pm. For moreinfo please visit www.fairfield.co.uk or callthe box office on 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Sun 15• Event: South End Food FestivalAl Fresco Dining, Live Cookery Demos,Free Food Tasting, Music and Dance,Street Theatre, Children’s Entertainment,Free Face Painting and lots more.11am - 4pm. The South End Restaurant Quarter, (closedto all traffic from Spices Yard to AberdeenRoad). In aid of Croydon’s Recovery.• Music: The Renato D'AielloQuartet Live jazz upstairs from 1pm.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Acoustically SpeakingLive Soul/Poetry/Spoken Word event£5 entry. Starts 7pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Music: DJs Hatchet and Boosh playing classics and cheese from 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Libre Fuego & Singersnight Floor singers & musicians welcome.Licensed bar. Adm £2 on the door. EverySunday from 8pm.Ruskin House Folk and Blues Club, 23 Coombe Road, For more info call01737 553493 or e-mail:[email protected]

• Music: HomebroodYes Homebrood are returning to the Half nHalf: finest of Croydon's drinking emporia!Gosh is it really not since last Summer thatwe played there? It's been too long! Well,we're back and raring to go!5.30pm-9.30pmHalf and Half Lounge Bar, 282 HighStreet, Croydon, CR0 1NG• Music: Open Mic NightLive music at The Farmers. 9pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Roland Chadwick In an over 40 year career his work hasbeen focused primarily on composition andperformance for the Spanish Guitar as asolo instrument. From 5.30pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: The Sunday ServiceAnd on the 7th day God partied. Finishoff your weekend with a bit of cheese. Norock, just good fun party music to start thenext week on a high.


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The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: Sunday BBQ 2012 #1DOORS: 5pm-11pmADM: £5AGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyEvent: Sunday BBQ 2012 #1Live acts: The Sharks + The Connectors +The Shame + Blind Atlas + Peanut ButterLovesicle (USA) + one more tbcGenre: punk/pop/americanaVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700• Film: The Descendants (15)2pm. For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Mon 16• Music: Lester Simpson Doors: 8.00pm. Non Members: £7.00Members: £6.00. Croydon Folk Club,every Monday at 8pm. Croydon Folk Club,Ruskin House, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon,Surrey, CR0 1BD. croydonfolkclub.org.uk

• Music: The Real JD SessionsDOORS: 8pm-11pmADM: FREE ENTRYAGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyEvent: The Real JD SessionsLive acts: Vaughan King & The DirtDiggers + JD Smith + moreGenre: punkabilly/bluesVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700

Tue 17• Music: Freedom of Expression Freedom of Expression is entirly Open Mictonight so get down and show off to yourfriends! 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Event: Havana Cuban NightGreat Cuban, Spanish and Latin music,jugs of sangria, flavoured tequila andcocktails.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: Adam Boucher & the DeadSet + Katie Malco + B-Sydes +James PagetDOORS: 8pmADM: £3AGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: Adam Boucher & the Dead Set +Katie Malco + B-Sydes + James PageGenre: acoustic/alternativeVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700• Music: Lonnie Donegan and hisSkiffle Band7.45pm. For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Wed 18• Theatre: The Breakfast CatTheatre Company present:MACBETH18th-21st April.London is on fire, the shops are stripped ofloot and the streets are ruled by sinisterfigures with faces obscured by hoods.Weird sisters dealing in secretivesubstances lurk on street corners. But who

wears the crown? Breakfast Cat’sproduction of Macbeth takesShakespeare’s original text and twists it likea knife in the gut. The timeless themes ofjealousy, ambition and betrayal are madeaccessible to a modern audience in asetting so up to date, you’re living it.A must for Shakespeare fans who love anew twist on an old play.Eve 7.45pm Sat Mat 2.45pm £9/£7 concsSuitable for: 11 years+The Charles Cryer Studio Theatre, 39 HighStreet, Carshalton, SM5 3BBBox Office: 0208 770 6990More info: www.suttontheatres.co.uk• Music: Rock ‘n’ Roll Cocktails50’s and 60’s music, Rock ‘n’ Roll andRockabilly. Cocktail menu is 2 for 1. Deals on shots and bombs. .The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]

Thu 19• Music: Gin Joint Jukebox with DJ Dapper Dan playing swing, jazz,blues and soul. 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: DJ CherrybombStart the weekend early with DJCherrybomb. Playing the very best in rock,metal, indie and more.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Film: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy(15)6.30pm. For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Theatre: Raining Men by ChrisPonka2.30pm & 7.45pm. For more info pleasevisit www.fairfield.co.uk or call the boxoffice on 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: When Planets Collidepresent “Thursday Is The NewDoomsday”DOORS: 8pmADM: £adv/£4doorAGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyEvent: When Planets Collide present“Thursday Is The New Doomsday”Live acts: Diesel King + Profane AndSacred + Jacknife Holiday + Subsilence

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• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Mon 16th April. Our Shakespeare seasoncontinues with: FORBIDDEN PLANET3pm and 8pm. FREE ENTRY!Based on The Tempest, this is consideredone of the great science fiction films of

the 1950s, a precursor of what was tocome for the science fiction film genre inthe decades that followed.The films are all shown upstairs on thebig screen. We won’t charge you apenny for coming to see them,all we ask is that you, enjoy some drinksand food...The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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Genre: sludge/doom/stonerVENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 BlenheimGardens, London SW2 5BZNEAREST TUBE: BrixtonWEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk TEL: 020 8671 0700BUY ONLINE:www.windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings

Fri 20• Music: DJ Benny Many Hats playing indie, classics, garage andska.(downstairs)The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Stone ThreeLive music at The Farmers. 9pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: DJ Seanpresents the very best in rock, metal andalternative music. Open til 2am. The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Theatre: Raining Men by ChrisPonka2.30pm & 7.45pm. For more info pleasevisit www.fairfield.co.uk or call the boxoffice on 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: One Night of Elvis8pm. For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Sat 21• Event: St Georges’ DayCelebrations11am - 4pm. Activities throughout the dayin Surrey Street, the Piazza and nearReeves Corner. Including: Live music anddance, additional stalls in the market,street entertainment, kids activities,traditional victorian fair amusements,historic walking tours, free prize draw andraffle plus much more.Surrey Street Market and surrounds. Formore info see www.oldtowncroydon.co.ukIn aid of Croydon’s Recovery.• Event: St George’s PartyEvents to be confirmed but you’reencouraged to come dressed in red andwhite! More details on the website nearerthe time...The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley

Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Bleed To This present:Deprevate, Shatterpoint, Goat(Rock/Metal). £4 EntryAges 16+ welcome. Doors 8pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Music: DJ Rob Deltaplaying psychedelia, soul and funk. 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Last Chance SaloonLive music at The Farmers. 9.30pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Shake Down Shakedown are a full-on, driving, guitaroriented R&B band who know when andwhere to slot in those cool, soulful slowersongs. These guys are pushing covers fromthe 60`s up to `not so far off` present day..From 8pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Theatre: Raining Men by ChrisPonka2.30pm & 7.45pm. For more info pleasevisit www.fairfield.co.uk or call the boxoffice on 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Film: Biutiful (15)2.30pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Sun 22• Event: The London MarathonLive on BBC TV.• Music: Gareth Lockrane, JimMullen, Simon Woolf and WinstonCliffordLive jazz upstairs from 1pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Delta Ladies Imagine the high lonesome sound of amountain fiddle and bluegrass guitar, theknife edge of Delta slide guitar, the fluidjazz violin of Stephan Grapelli, add anamazing range of instruments and astunning array of songs and you have theDELTA LADIES. From 5.30pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023

• Music: DJs Hatchet and Booshplaying classics and cheese from 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Acoustic Open Mic NightLive music at The Farmers. 9pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Matthew Tighe & Singersnight Floor singers & musicians welcome.Licensed bar. Adm £2 on the door. EverySunday from 8pm.Ruskin House Folk and Blues Club, 23 Coombe Road, For more info call01737 553493 or e-mail:[email protected]• Music: The Sunday ServiceAnd on the 7th day God partied. Finishoff your weekend with a bit of cheese. Norock, just good fun party music to start thenext week on a high. The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: The Searchers7.45pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Mon 23• Event: St George’s Day• Event: Shakespeare’s Birthday• Event: World ShakespeareFestivalMore info:www.worldshakespearefestival.org.uk• Event: St George at the DragonST. GEORGE'S DAY! (and Shakespeare'sbirthday) We'll have music, English Grub,lots of Ale and Pimms, and a treasurehunt! Come and have some good oldEnglish fun in true eccentric Dragony-style!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Roy Clinging Doors: 8.00pmNon Members: £7.00 Members: £5.00Croydon Folk Club, every Monday at 8pm.Croydon Folk Club, Ruskin House, 23Coombe Road, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 1BDwww.croydonfolkclub.org.uk


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Tue 24• Music: Alan Barnes QuartetLive jazz with the Alan Barnes Quartet,1pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Anivian Promotionspresent:Vier, Death Valley Knights, Billy Skins 5th,Vienna Knights, (Rock/Alt)Ages 16+ Welcome. £5 entry. Doors 7pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Event: Havana Cuban NightGreat Cuban, Spanish and Latin music,jugs of sangria, flavoured tequila andcocktails.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: Greg Delius Programme1.05pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291. Fairfield Halls, ParkLane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Comedy: Jethro 2012 Tour7.30pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Wed 25• Event: ANZAC Day05:00 - Dawn Service at theAustralian/New Zealand War Memorials inHyde Park Corner, London (the service willlast about 40 minutes) (you arerecommended to arrive before 04:30)Later in the morning there is a briefwreath-laying service at the Cenotaph onWhitehall and a commemorative service atWestminster Abbey (tickets for this mustbe obtained in advance). For more detailsabout these ANZAC Day events in London,see:www.australia.org.uk/lhlh/EventsAnzacDwww.anzacsite.gov.au• Music: The Johnny CashRoadshow8pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Dance: Winter Dance Party7.45pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: Rock ‘n’ Roll Cocktails50’s and 60’s music, Rock ‘n’ Roll andRockabilly. Cocktail menu is 2 for 1. Deals on shots and bombs. .The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]

Thu 26• Music: We’ll Meet Again - TheDiamond Jubilee Show2.30pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: London Mozart Players7.30pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: Gin Joint Jukebox with DJ Dapper Dan playing swing, jazz,blues and soul. 8pmThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: DJ CherrybombStart the weekend early with DJCherrybomb. Playing the very best in rock,metal, indie and more.The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon

CR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]

Fri 27• Music: DJ Benny Many Hats playing indie, classics, garage andska.(downstairs)The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Randy and the RocketsLive music at The Farmers. 9pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: DJ Seanpresents the very best in rock, metal andalternative music. Open til 2am. The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: The Kast Off KinksThis is not a Tribute band, but the realthing! Featuring Mick Avory, Ian Gibbonsand Jim Rodford Of The Kinks and DaveClarke of The Noel Redding Band.£15 adv TicketWeb, or £18 on the DoorDoors: 8.00pm. Start: 9.00pm. End:11.15pm. Lots of Free Parking. Bar closesmidnight. Some seating available.Derby Room, Horton Park Golf Club,Hook Road, Surrey, KT19 8QGEnquiries: www.mwpromotions.co.ukor: 07949 853618• Opera: Cosi Fan Tutte7.30pm . Pre Performance talk one hourbefore the Show. For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: Booby Socks and BlueJeans8pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Sat 28• Music: DJs Freeqboi andCherrybomb playing rock, metal, classics and cheese.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: K**T & The Gangplus GypsiesScream proudly welcomes thecomedy/filth/pop stylings of Basildon's

What’s On - Daily Guide:• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Mon 23rd March: HENRY V3 & 8pm. FREE ENTRY!King Henry V of England is insulted bythe King of France. As a result, he leadshis army into battle against France. Along

the way, the young king must strugglewith the sinking morale of his troops andhis own inner doubts. The warculminates at the bloody Battle ofAgincourt.The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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one-man controversy machine, withsupport from Eastern European comedytroubadours the Gypsies.£3 adv, £5 on the door. Doors 8pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Music: Room 16Local rock covers combo perform a freeshow upstairs at Scream for your listeningpleasure! FREE ENTRY. Doors 8pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Music: Ruby Red Performing Rock music from ACDC to ZZTop, Ruby Red are a five piece thatguarantee to get you air guitaring! Bestknown for putting their unique ‘rock’touch to popular (and not so popular) rocksongs, Ruby Red deliver a trulyatmospheric and memorable evening ofRock. Formed at the end of 2010 from theashes of another band, they have workedhard to hone their unique sound and arefast gathering a reputation in the South ofEngland. From 8pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: JB and the MisfitsLive music at The Farmers. 9pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: PJ da DJ’s Rock of Ages –Nu-MetalStep back in time with PJ da DJ - Playingthe music rock and metal we know youlove, but with a noughties flavour. Baropen til 2am.The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• CHARITY: St Christophers Charitylive Band NightFeaturing Deb E Space. For more infosearch facebook for St ChristophersCharity live Band Night.7.30pm. the crooked billet, penge high street,penge london SE20

Sun 29• Music: The Kelvin ChristianeQuartet Live Jazz from The Kelvin ChristianeQuartet, 1pm.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: DJs Hatchet and Booshplaying classics and cheese from 8pm

The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon, CRO 1NA. Find us on facebook:The Green Dragon Pub• Music: Scream Unpluggedpresents: Ladies Night!!An all-female line-up, featuring some ofthe local area's finest musicians, includingJenny Lockyer, The Marauders, CarmenD'Cruz, Vicky Walters and more tbcFREE ENTRYStarts 7pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Music: Open Mic NightLive music at The Farmers. 9pm. FREE!The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Little Devils little devils play 21st century blues. This ismusic that comes from many sources –from early blues – Robert Johnson, Muddy,Etta James, Wolf, thru Dylan, The Stonesand all the 60s blues then adding otherinfluences and random elements – punk,funk, jazz and rock. From 5.30pm. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023• Music: The Real Thing - The ‘YouTo Me Are Everything’ Tour8pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG• Music: Biggin Hillbillies & Singersnight Floor singers & musicians welcome.Licensed bar. Adm £2 on the door. EverySunday from 8pm.Ruskin House Folk and Blues Club, 23 Coombe Road, For more info call01737 553493 or e-mail:[email protected]• Music: The Sunday ServiceAnd on the 7th day God partied. Finishoff your weekend with a bit of cheese. Norock, just good fun party music to start thenext week on a high. The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]

Mon 30• History / Education: NotableWomen of Norwood and the OddBlokeA talk by John HickmanCroydon Natural History and Scientific

Society (CNHSS). Indoor meetings are heldin the Small Hall of the United ReformedChurch Hall, Addiscombe Grove, EastCroydon CR0 5LP at 7.45pm. Visitorswelcome, donations accepted.Find us on facebook or follow us ontwitter: @cnhssprogramme

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Tuesday 01 May• Event: May Day• Music: Louis Demetrius AlvanisLunchtime Event1.05pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Wed 02• Quiz: Wendy’s Wednesday Quiz Fun and fab pub quiz. 8pm. £1 per person.Loads of prizes including bonus prizes forthe excellent ‘music bingo’ round.The Odd Shoe, 24 Park Street, Croydon• Music: Live JazzLive jazz every first Wednesday of themonth. 8pm-10.45pm (bar opens at 7pm).Generally £9. See daily what’s on or visit


• Film: The Spread Eagle FilmClub Mon 30th March. Tonight:ANONYMOUS3pm ONLY. FREE ENTRY!We decided to finish the month with thiscontroversial film that explores the idea

that may Shakespeare didn’t writ e hisplays at all, the theory goes that it was infact Edward De Vere, Earl of Oxford,who penned Shakespeare's plays. The Spread Eagle, 39-41 KatharineStreet, Croydon CR0 1NXTel: 020 8781 1134

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the website for who’s playing.Sylvie’s Place, Warlingham Jazz Club,Croydon PO Athletic and Social Club,Trenham Drive, Warlingham,CR6 9RU. 01883 622269.www.sylviesplace.co.uk

Thu 03• CHARITY / Music: Giants,Napoleon, Weather The Storm,Silhouette Of A Ghost, BeneathThe Tide(Metalcore). A charity event in aid ofChildreach UK. £5 EntryDoors 7.45pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]• Film: Archipelago (Cert 15)10.30am, 2.30pm and 6.30pm . For moreinfo please visit www.fairfield.co.uk or callthe box office on 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Fri 04• Music: The Devil Cocks, St Evel(Punk/Alternative). The proud return oflocal punk nutters The Devil Cocks,supported by the debut performance ofbrand new punk super trio St Evel,featuring ex-members of Ten Foot Nun,The Exhibits and Kabogaeries. Plus specialguest headliners tbc.FREE ENTRY. Doors 8pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]

Sat 05• Music: JackDaw May All-Dayer15:00 until 6 May at 03:00. Featuring:Hellbent & Hammered, AlternativeCarpark, XII Boar, Belligerence, Sworn ToOath, Mordecai, SnakeBiteAt midnight, there shall be strippers and aKerrang!DJ! There will also be a set byClaire from AntiProduct!Doors open at 3pm and we shall bepropping up the bar until 3am!£5 gets you all day access to the gig andthe BBQ that will be going outside! (Pleasedont rain, please dont rain, please dontrain!) Scream Lounge, 20 South End,Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155.email [email protected]• Event: School Disco SleepoverNo, you can’t actually sleep at The Ship,but we’re having a whole weekend of fun.School Disco on Saturday night and whynot come back on Sunday for a School

Dinner Roast Sunday Lunch? .The Ship, 47 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QD. 0208 688 2810e: [email protected]• Music: Rumours of FleetwoodMac8pm . For more info please visitwww.fairfield.co.uk or call the box officeon 020 8688 9291.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG

Sun 06• Music: Scream Unpluggedpresents Woodsy's DockThe cream of the local acoustic musicscene come together for our monthly showcurated by Mark Woods (Do Me BadThings/Junkyard Choir) and Ten Foot Jon.

Acts tbc. FREE ENTRY. Starts 7pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. [email protected]

Mon 07• Bank Holiday: Early May BankHoliday

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FOOTBALL:• Crystal Palace:Sat 7 - 15:00 - A - Birmingham - FLC Mon 9 - 15:00 - H - Southampton - FLC Sat 14 - 15:00 - H - Ipswich Town - FLC Tue 17 - 19:45 - A - Portsmouth - FLC Sat 21 - 15:00 - A - Reading - FLC Sat 28 - 12:30 - H - Cardiff City - FLC Selhurst Park, Whitehorse Lane, LondonSE25 6PU. Tickets and more info fromwww.cpfc.co.uk. Box Office: 08712 000071 Disabled ticket enquiries : 020 8768 6080(Pam Groves)• Croydon FC:07/04/2012 - 15:00 - H - Chessingtonand Hook United09/04/2012 - 15:00 - A - Mole Valley SCR14/04/2012 - 15:00 - H - Wembley21/04/2012 - 15:00 - A - Farnham Town CROYDON FC ARENA, Albert Road,South Norwood, SE25 4QL.0208 654 8555. www.croydon-fc.co.ukNearest tram stop is Arena

CRICKET:• England:Tuesday, 3 April 2012 - Test match seriesSecond Test Match - Sri Lanka v England,Colombo, 05:30 • Surrey:5th April - Surrey v Sussex, The Kia Oval,11:0012th April - Middlesex v Surrey, Lord's,11:0019th April - Surrey v Worcestershire, TheKia Oval, 11:0026th April - Surrey v Durham, The KiaOval, 11:00The Kia Oval, Kennington, SE11 5SS. More info / tickets from www.kiaoval.com020 7820 5700

FORMULA ONE:• Chinese Grand Prix:Shanghai International Circuit.Fri 13 April 2012 - Practice 1 03:00 - 04:30Practice 2 - 07:00 - 08:30Sat 14 April 2012- Practice 3 04:00 - 05:00, Qualifying - 07:00Sun 15 April 2012 - Race - 08:00Live on BBC TV.• Bahrain Grand Prix:Sakhir, 20-22 April - Fri 20 April 2012 - Practice 1 08:00 - 09:30, Practice 2 - 12:00 - 13:30Sat 21 April 2012 - Practice 3 09:00 - 10:00, Qualifying -12:00Sun 22 April 2012 - Race - 13:00Extended highlights on BBC TV andwebsite, live on 5 live

GOLF:• The Masters:5th-8th April from Augusta, Georgia, USA.Live on Sky, highlights on BBC TV. Livecoverage on BBC Radio.

HORSE RACING:• Fontwell RacesDirect Train from East Croydon toBarnham, £2 return shuttle bus to course.20th April - Afternoon Jumps Turf 4th May - Twilight Jumps Turf - First race5.15pmMore info / tix: www.fontwellpark.co.ukor call 01243 543335. Fontwell Park Racecourse, Fontwell, WestSussex, BN18 0SX• Kempton Park RacesDirect Train from Clapham Junction toKempton Park - 200 yards to course.April 30th, May 7th - Afternoon Flat April 25th, May 1st, 9th, 15th, 22nd -Afternoon Flat All Weather April 17th - Afternoon Jumps April 11th, 18th - Twilight FlatMore info / tix: www.kempton.co.uk orcall 01932 782292. Kempton ParkRacecourse, Staines Road East, Sunbury onThames, Middlesex, TW16 5AQ• Lingfield RacesDirect Train from E. Croydon + 5 min walk.April 11th & 14th - Afternoon Flat AllWeatherMay 1st - Afternoon Flat Turf More info / tix: lingfield-racecourse.co.uk.Or call 01342 834800. Lingfield Park, Racecourse Road, Lingfield, Surrey, RH7 6PQ• Plumpton RacesDirect Train from E. Croydon + 5 min walk April 27th: Evening Jumps Turf - first race4.35pmMore info / tix: plumptonracecourse.co.ukor call 01273 890383.Plumpton Racecourse, Plumpton, EastSussex, BN7 3AL• Sandown RacesDirect Train from Clapham Junction toEsher. Free minibus shuttle to the course.April 27th - Afternoon Flat Turf April 28th - Afternoon Turf - Mixed Cardof flat and jumpsMore info / tix: www.sandown.co.uk or call 01372 46 43 48. Sandown Park, Portsmouth Road, Esher,Surrey. KT10 9AJ

GREYHOUND RACING:• Wimbledon GreyhoundsTram to Wimbledon, then bus 493 stopsright outside stadium, else it’s a about a 10min walk.

Every Friday evening, opens 6.30pm, firstrace 7.30pm, last race around 10.30pm.Every Saturday evening, opens 6.30pm,first race 7.30pm, last race around10.30pm.General Admission PricesAdults: Friday £6.00 and Saturday £6.00(including racecard)Children 12 - 17: £3.50 (no race card)Children under 11: Free (no race card)Please note: Push chairs or Buggies are notpermitted in the stadiumAll Restaurant customers must pre-bookeither on line or by calling 0870 840 8905. More info / admission deals / tix:www.lovethedogs.co.ukOr call 0870 840 8905. WimbledonGreyhound Stadium, Plough LaneWimbledon, SW17 OBL• Brighton & Hove GreyhoundsDirect train to Hove, 5min taxi to track. Ordirect train to Brighton, 10min taxi. Every Wednesday afternoon - FREE entry!Opens 1pm, 1st race 2.08pm, last race 6.11pmEvery Thursday evening - £5 entryOpens 6pm, 1st race 7.30 pm, last race 10.30pm.Every Friday morning - FREE entry!Opens 10.30am, 1st race 11.11am, last race 1.58pm.Every Saturday evening - £6 entryOpens 6.30 pm, 1st race 7.30 pm, last race 10.30 pmEvery Sunday morning - FREE! entryOpens 11.00am, 1st race 11.28 am,last race 2.12 pm.Children Under 16 free all the time.More info / restaurant reservations / tix:brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.ukOr call 01273 204 601. Coral Brighton &Hove Greyhound Stadium, Nevill Road,Hove, East Sussex, BN3 7BZ

Local teams - we canlist your fixtures here,for FREE! E-mail [email protected]

This Month’s Sport: All events are in UK time.

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apr2012 10/4/12 10:09 am

deep-london magazine april 2012

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