Equipment - Chrisleo Botha Club Liaison and Newsletter - John Lees

Monthly Game – 7th May 2017

Kingswood Golf Estate

Our first autumn game of the year was played

at Kingswood where once again we had a

spectacular Southern Cape day. The course as

usual was in excellent condition and the

weather certainly played its part. We had a

field of 60 players who all took full advantage

of the wonderful facilities and we thank the

members and committee of Kingswood for

their generous hospitality. As usual we

sincerely thank Berti Harris and her Pink

Ladies, Helen and Christna for their efforts

ensuring that we all had such a good day.

Ladies we do appreciate your kindness. This

was new Captain Christo’s first game at the

helm and he has already made his mark and we

look forward to an excellent year ahead.

Well done to Douw and Hiron on a very good

prize giving. We are most grateful to Frikkie

van Eck, and MTN for stepping up to the plate

and being such wonderful sponsors for the day.

Frikkie we value greatly your wonderful

support …

Southern Cape

Nomads Golf Club The Nomads Creed

No man is an island entire of itself;

Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

Any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls;

It tolls for thee.

May 2017 Newsletter

Match Secretary’s Report

Division Statistics

Div Nomads Guests Agg Ave

A 18 8 759 29,2

B 16 1 498 29,3

C 16 1 484 28,3

We had a field of sixty made up of fifty

Nomads, one Visiting Nomad, six Guests and

three Prospective Nomads. This resulted in six

handicaps being cut, 17 have had handicaps

increased and 27 handicaps remained

unchanged. The average score for the day was

29,0. At this stage we have had 49 entries into

the Tempest Challenge and eighteen pairs for

the Gary Player Knock out. Remember you have

until the 31st May to enter the GPKO.

Remember the first round will be played at

Knysna on 11th June.

The Royal Nationals

Cape Town the “Mother City” is the venue of

next year’s Nationals – The Royal Nationals!

This will be played at the oldest golf club in

the country Royal Cape. Make sure you qualify

by playing all your games and volunteering for

all Golforama duties as well as attending prize

giving’s and the AGM. These are some of the

criteria for selection for the Southern Cape

Nationals team.

During labour, the pain is so great that a

woman can almost feel what a man goes

through when he has flu!

SOUTHERH CAPE NOMAD FIXTURES

2017

June 11th Knysna

July 16th Fancourt

August 5th Pinnacle Point (Seaboard)

August 6th Mossel Bay

September 17th Plettenberg Bay

October 8th Oudtshoorn

November 12th Goose Valley

November 18th/19th St Francis (South

Easter)

December 10th George (Gold Cup)

2018

January 21st Knysna

February 18th Mossel Bay

March 25th George

2

Well done, Leon Coetzee! 300 Nomad games!

Not only 300 games but winner of his division

as well! An amazing achievement well deserving

of a glass of bubbly with the captain and

served by a very smart waiter, Steve!

Thank you ladies for all you do for us!

Aren’t we lucky guys?

PLEASE SUPPORT OUR

NATIONAL SPONSORS

Prize Giving at KingswoodDivisional Winners

A Division Jacques Koen 37 Pts

B Division Leon Coetzee 37 Pts

C Division Tinus Prinsloo 32 Pts

Divisional Runners up

A Division Anton Izaakse (Jnr) 36 Pts

B Division Peter Leibbrandt 35 Pts

C Division Hugh Collier 32 PtsBest

Playing Pair

Anton Prinsloo and Leon Coetzee 71 Pts

Best Playing Fourball Anton Prinsloo, Douw de

Lange, Jimmy Leggat and Leon Coetzee 131 Pts

Worst Playing Fourball

Jacques Mathee, Marcel Meiring, J P Meiring

and Hiron Snell 104 Pts

Over 55 Winner

Leon Coetzee 37 Pts

Matchbox Winner Colin Buck 21 PtsAt

least you won a prize Colin!

Golden Harvest Golf Bag Winner

Well done, Steve Twycross!

KWV Brandy Winners

Gerrie Hendriks, Michael Brown and Anton

Izaakse (Jnr)

Glenbrynth Whisky Winners

Leon Coetzee(Three bottles), Andre Steyn

(One bottle) and Hansie Nel (Two bottles)

Closest to the Pins

David Eveleigh, Tinus Prinsloo, Andre Prinsloo

and Pierre Meyer

Annual Gold Cup Competitions

Please note! Our Gold Cup game this year will

once again be played in December. This means

that the Annual Gold Cup Competitions will be

played over eight months instead of twelve for

this year only.

CURRENT MEMBERSHIP FIGURES

HONORARY 10

FULL 59

ASSOCIATE 19

NON-PLAYING 6

NON-ACTIVE 1

SUSPENSIVE 0

SPONSOR (LOCAL) 10

HON LIFE 1

TOTAL 106

PROSPECTIVE 8

LEAVE OF ABSENCE

The following Nomads are on Leave of Absence

and we wish them all a speedy recovery and

hope to see them back soon: Ken Spencer,

Mario Jonker, Thys Cronje, Piet Putty, Noel

Shaw and Tjoepie Pretorius.

Pierre Smuts is overseas and Claude Wilson is

away for work reasons.

Well done Steve, another, silver salver!

Irish Humour!

A very Happy Birthday to the following

who celebrate Significant Birthdays

during the month of May.

William Rhodes 36, Pierre Meyer 42, Peter

Moolman 68, Tannah Harris 74, Vic Moll 76

Dave explaining to Fines Master Peet why

they did not obey convention on the course!

A big thank you to Angelique and Terry for

the Glenbrynth and Castle Lite provided with

a smile at every game

Prospective Nomads Dawid Wandrag and

Jacques Koen introduced by Tannah and Anton.

Good to have you back again Will!

What a day you had Leon! Don’t get used to it

– It probably won’t ever happen again. Well

done and make the most of it!

Beware of Ivan, Leon! Ivan will kiss anyone

for a glass of bubbly!

Who says we don’t have fun at

Nomads?

What if you were playing in the club

championship tournament finals and the match

was halved at the end of 17 holes? On the

eighteenth hole, you have the honour and hit

your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to

the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six

iron to the pin.

Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep

into the woods to the right of the fairway.

Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you

help your opponent look for his ball. Just

before the permitted five minute search

period ends, your opponent says: "Go ahead and

hit your second shot and if I don't find it in

time, I'll concede the match."

You hit your ball, landing it on the green,

stopping about ten feet from the pin. About

the time your ball comes to rest, you hear your

opponent exclaim from deep in the woods: "I

found it!"

The second sound you hear is a click, the sound

of a club striking a ball and the ball comes

sailing out of the woods and lands on the green,

stopping no more than six inches from the hole.

Now here is the ethical dilemma:

Do you pull the cheating bastard's ball out of

your pocket and confront him with it, or do you

keep your mouth shut?

REPENT O SCOTTISH SINNER...

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey

Macgregor, who was very interested in making

a penny where he could, so he often thinned

down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some

time, but eventually the Baptist Church

decided to do a big restoration job on the

outside of their large building. Smokey put in

a bid, & because his price was so low, he got

the job. So he set about erecting the

scaffolding & setting up the planks & buying

the paint & yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it

down with water...

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding,

painting away, the job nearly completed, when

suddenly there was a horrendous clap of

thunder, the sky opened, & the rain poured

down, washing the thinned paint from all over

the church, & knocking Smokey clear off the

scaffold to land on the lawn among the

gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of

the thinned & useless paint. Smokey was no

fool. He knew this was a judgment from the

Almighty, so he got down on his knees & cried:

"Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I

do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke….

(You're going to love this)

"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more.

Thank you Frikkie and MTN! We do greatly

appreciate you.

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a

trade name and generic name. For Example, the

trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is

Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is

also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name

for Viagra and after careful consideration by a

team of government experts; it recently

announced that it has settled on the generic

name of “Mycoxafloppin”.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin,

Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of

course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will

soon be available in liquid form, and will be

marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage

suitable for use as a mixer..

It will now be possible for a man to literally

pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft

drink, and it gives new meaning to the names

of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-

fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the

name of: MOUNT & DO.

Also now available, a granular form for

adding to tea and coffee. It does not help in

the bedroom department but stops your

biscuits from going soft when you dunk them.

Thought for the day: There is more money

being spent on breast implants and Viagra

today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a

large elderly population with perky boobs and

huge erections and absolutely no recollection

of what to do with them.

The bride came down the aisle and when she

reached the altar, the groom was standing

there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said:" What are your golf clubs doing

here"?

He looked her right in the eye .... and said,

"This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

A man was walking down the street when he

was accosted by a particularly dirty and

shabby-looking homeless man who asked him

for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man

took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and

asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy

some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I

had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless

man replied. "Will you spend this on green

fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man

asked. "Are you nuts!" replied the homeless

man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you

money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for

a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by

my wife." The homeless man was astounded.

"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing

that?

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important

for her to see what a man looks like after he

has give n up drinking and golf."

Low Battery: A man saved his girlfriend's

phone number on his mobile as 'Low

Battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his

absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs

it into the charger. Give that man a Castle.

Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed

with them; they said it would be just like

winning Lotto! I agreed, and they were right.

We all stripped off, and to my horror, we had

six matching balls!

They say that sex is the best form of

exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't

think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months

is going to shift my beer belly.

THE UNDERTAKER'S BLACK EYE

BOB, AN UNDERTAKER, RECENTLY CAME

HOME WITH A BLACK EYE.

WHEN HIS WIFE ASKED HIM WHAT HAD

HAPPENED HE REPLIED, "I HAD A TERRIBLE

DAY. I HAD TO GO TO A HOTEL AND PICK

UP A MAN WHO HAD DIED IN HIS SLEEP.

WHEN I GOT THERE, THE MANAGER SAID

THEY COULDN'T GET HIM INTO A BODY

BAG BECAUSE HE HAD THIS HUGE

ERECTION. ANYWAY, I WENT UP AND,

SURE ENOUGH, THERE WAS THIS BIG

NAKED GUY LYING ON THE BED WITH

THIS HUGE ERECTION. SO I GRABBED IT

WITH BOTH HANDS AND TRIED TO SNAP

IT IN HALF." "I SEE", SAID HIS WIFE,

"THAT MUST HAVE BEEN AWFUL, BUT HOW

DID YOU GET THE BLACK EYE?"

" WRONG ROOM !" BOB REPLIED:

A married man's prayer:

Dear God, You gave me childhood. You took it

away! You gave me youth. You took it away!

You gave me a wife ….. It’s been years now!

2017/18 Committee

Captain Christo Langenhoven

Vice Captain Douw de Lange

Junior Vice Captain Chrisleo Botha

Immediate Past Captain Marcel Meiring

Secretary Austin Graves

Treasurer Tim Leibbrandt

Match Secretary Berti Harris

Membership Flats Huisamen

Handicapper Tannah Harris

Furtherance of Golf Tannah Harris

Sponsorship Hiron Snell

Equipment Officer Frankie Brown

Away Tours Steve Twycross

Golforama Chrisleo Botha

Club Liaison John Lees

Newsletter John Lees

Our next game is at Knysna Golf Club on

Sunday 11th June 2017. If you did not put

your name down at Kingswood please contact

Berti.

See you on the tee!

Your Scribe