for pete's sake

8/8/2019 For Pete's Sake

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Staff Sergeant Tella Mayweather squinted against the setting suns glowing red andamber on the western horizon; the heat radiating from the endless sands projected atrembling atmospheric dance upon them. Apparently, binary star systems were far morecommon in the galaxy than she had previously realized, a stark contrast to the Earthssolitary Sun, a mere anomaly according to some astronomers. But then, Tella never really

bothered with astronomers and their endless tirades regarding the space time continuum,worm holes or which of the command centers receptionists was hotter. The only thing shehad ever shown interest in was the mission at hand.

She lowered her goggles, shielding her eyes as the hyper-jet revved its massiveengines, propelling its heavy gun-laden bulk into the air. The pilot gave her one final wave ofa gloved hand before turning the nose of the vehicle into the stiff, hot, northern wind. Idiot,she thought. With a blast of his thrusters, he was gone, leaving a cloud of dust and sand andchoking exhaust in his wake.

Well, there he goes, said Poliver Tweed matter-of-factly. Tella glanced sidelong atthe man beside her. He had to be in his early fifties by her account. His hair was thin andgraying, the age spots on his forehead proclaiming the fact that he had seen his best years fartoo long ago. More disturbing was thatin a stunning display of support for his

encroaching geriatric statea massive gut spilled over his belt at least, she thought he waswearing a belt. It was hard to tell. She figured something had to be aiding the fastener on histrousers. A military issued waist grommet was apt to burst and kill someone under such atremendous strain without some form of assistance. I guess you know what thatmeans? headded when it was obvious Tella would offer him nothing more than a disapproving glowerat his engorged belly.

Were screwed? she answered.Yep, Poliver confirmed. He was a man of few words and had been over the course

of their month-long hyperspace journey to this particular crevice of the galaxy. Where hadthey dug him up? More than likely from some long forgotten lab of the 363 rd Science andTech Brigade. As a result, she had chosen to spend the majority of the trip in; anything was

better than watching the man continuously eat and belch and fart. As the missions primaryengineer and payload specialist, Poliver was not allowed the luxury of a trip in stasis. Theirmeager schooner could not support a large contingent for such a distant trip, so the limitedcrew had consisted of Commander Bernard Worthingtonthe ships captain, Lieutenant Jake Arnemanthe pilot, Poliver and Tellathe only two grunts aboardand Ensign Amelia Sanders, the communications officer. The crammed stasis pod, however, had leftTella moody and irritable as it was prone to, not to mention a bit bloated.

Come on, she grumbled as she tugged her pack forcefully onto her awaitingshoulder, we need to meet our contact before nightfall I swear that pilots gonna pay if Imake it out of here alive. What part of drop us off at dawn did he not understand? At leastthe he had gotten the drop zone correct, she thought.

I dunno, replied Poliver. Tella shook her head in frustration. It was a rhetoricalquestion but somehow Poliver didnt seem to understand that. The only thing heunderstoodand reveled inwas eating cold beans from a military-issue ration can. Shetook a few determined steps toward the far off cave entrance; she still had a mission tocompletewhat little she knew of itdespite its shaky start. Her instructions were todeliver Poliver safely to the Skith city that was all. The rest of the mission had beenclassified as Top Secret and Tella wasnt privy to its details.

You coming? she asked over her pack when it was clear her companion wasntfollowing. Poliver gave a start then grabbed his gear as well and labored to catch up. Why

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him, she thought? What was so important about this man that they had assigned her to guardhim and deliver him safely to these Skith? Prior to leaving Earth, she had asked hercommander why only two soldiers had been dispatched for this particular assignment. Hisanswer had been simple, Because threes too many and ones too few. The majority of theshock, and the outright gravity of her situation, hadnt really set in until she had met Poliver.

She figured there had been some grievous mistake, but her commander had assured her,with a smirk, that all was in order.She was well aware of whyshehad been chosen. After all, she had undergone months

of extensive survival training, had fought through the Mars Wars earning two Purple Hearts,had been awarded the Medal of Valor after several successful missions on Titan and Europaand even won a blue ribbon in the battalions chili cook-off, besting even her commanderfor the coveted prize. What she couldnt fathom was why Poliver was here as well.

Somethings been bugging me, Pol, since we exited hyperspace, she said.Yeah? And whats that? he puffed. The man was a slobbering, engorged mass of

gut and ass crack.Why the hell are you here?Oh, I volunteered, I guess you could say he replied, carefully choosing his words.

Then as an afterthought, Yeah, I dont think anyone else in the unit wanted to work withyou.

Tella stopped and turned to face her paunchy cohort. He was already sweatingprofusely. No one? Surely, someone in the unit had to like her.

Nope, he declared wiping his brow on an already crusty sleeve. Theyre all underthe impression that you are over zealous in regard to your missions.

Really? Tella pondered. They said that?Well, actually, they all claim youre a reckless bitch but over zealous suits me

just fine. Tellas eyes narrowed. She shook her head, dismissing the comment andcontinued onward toward the distant cavern.

Plus, added Poliver, I have some experience with the Skith. Tella laughed.

Oh, really? And what experience would that be? Did you accidentally sit on one andkill it?

I had sex with one once. Tella dropped her pack with a dusty thump and staredopen mouthed at Poliver.

Come again? she asked in disbelief. Perhaps the hyper-jet had lodged some sand inher ears.

I fucked one once, Poliver said once again. Well it fucked me, actually, but thatcounts too.

Seriously?Oh, yes, most definitely, he confirmed. Tella opened her mouth to say something,

anything, but only a befuddled squeak escaped her.

Wait, it fuckedyou? the words finally spilled out.Yeah, thats what I said. Poliver continued when it became apparent Tella didntunderstand or was still in disbelief at the purported alien fornication. You see, only themales mate and bear young amongst the Skith. The females act as a sort of catalyst betweentwo males; its a pheromonal thing, or something to that effectWithout her, the maleswould have nothing to do with one another, except maybe for the occasional tavern brawl. Ittakes all three to effectively procreate.

What the hell is the matter with you? Why would you have sex with some bug,freaky thing?

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Nothings wrong with me, he added, well, not really. I did it on a bet. Onceagain the words failed her. She stood there shaking her head and waving her arms in anattempt to make some words come out.

Pol a bet? Why?Poliver shrugged. Does it matter? I won. He called that a win? It was Tellas turn

to wipe her own brow. The sweat had caked sand on it and it crumbled off in a salty dust.So, what are you doing now, she asked incredulously, looking to score again?No, Poliver laughed, Im dying, actually. Oh, this is only getting better, Tella thought.

Of course, I didnt know about the symbion part of it before going through with the bet,he added, patting his rotund belly.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tella exclaimed in disbelief. Theres a bug in there?Yep. Unfortunately, military insurance only covers me if I die during combat.

Theyre considering this a natural cause.Natural? My ass, its natural! Then something odd occurred to her. Wait, are you

saying this things gonna kill you?Yep, answered Poliver. Itll start eating up my organs any day now beginning with

my kidneys. He spit out some sand that had been lodged in his mouth then planted his

hands firmly on his hips. He licked his lips and looked about. Man, its hot out here. Ithought this planet was primarily temperate eighty percent covered in vegetation and all. Iguess this is the other twenty percent, huh? He glanced at the atmospheric meter danglingfrom his belt. Boy, theres a high concentration of oxygen in the air too no wonder thebugs here get so big also perhaps why this things been wriggling about so much since welanded.

Tella couldnt believe what she was hearing. Why the hell not get it removed then?she asked, hoping to glean at least a modicum of sense from him. This was getting strangerby the minute and Polivers ho-hum attitude only confounded her further.

Oh, Poliver said obtusely as if brushing off some casual bit of common knowledgeto which she should have already been made aware, its intricately infused with my nervous

and endocrine systems. It cant be taken out without effectively killing me.But youre going to die anyway. Better to die that way than have some bug slowly

eat your innards.Yeah, I guess but if I get killed on this mission my family gets the money. Theyd

be screwed otherwise. Tella had to admit; he was finally making sense but only by a veryslim margin.

So, do these Skith all die during childbirth as well?Oh, no, of course not. They simply pass the symbion out through their

ovipositors. Tella opened her mouth to ask another question but Poliver sadly cut her off.I dont have an ovipositor.

Of course you dont Youre a strange fellow, Pol, Tella concluded in defeat. As

far as Im concerned, though, to hell with the rest of the world; aint no bug gonna eat myassNever said it was gonna eat my ass, Poliver grumbled, just everything north

of it. Tella laughed. The man was a fool a big, pregnant fool.So you came here to die, is it? Tella asked mockingly. And where does that leave

me?Screwed, answered Poliver. Well, she figured as much now and thats exactly

what she was afraid of. Perhaps this was punishment of some sort.

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Another hundred yards or so of trudging through sloughs of burning sand broughtthem to the cave entrance. Prints of some sort could be made out in the ground before itextending for miles in all directions. This wasnt a good sign as far as Tella was concerned. There were a lot of these things these Skithliving here and they were primarilynocturnal and they would all be out and about soon and determined to do god-knows-

what to her.Damn that idiot pilot

, she cursed again.So, these things are nocturnal, right? Tella asked.Yes mostly, answered Poliver.Do they hate the light or something?No, its more an environmental issue. This area of the planet is, by far, the hottest

and they dont do well in extreme conditions. They cant sweat, so being out in the scorchingheat of two suns is apt to cook them in their shells. Shells? At a nauseous feeling in the pitof her belly she suddenly realized she was also getting very light headed.

Besides, continued Poliver, they evolved in the underbrush of this planets manyrainforests. They prefer the gloom and shadows. Its like most any other society, though. There is some activity during the day, but the majority of them are sleeping during thattime.

Im putting on my rebreather, Tella said a bit unsteadily. I suggest you do thesame. This highly oxygenated and high pressured atmosphere is screwing with my head.She opened the satchel at her side and removed and donned a mask that covered her noseand mouth. A slight hiss emerged as she drew in a breath and a canister in the bag added aslight, steady flow of nitrogen to the already high oxygen levels of the planets air. Traceamounts of her own carbon dioxide output helped stabilize things as well. Soon, thequeasiness subsided. Well? she asked Poliver as he stood scanning the cavern opening witha spectrum analyzer. Arent you going to put yours on?

No, he replied, repeatedly tapping the screen of the device in his hand. Im ratherenjoying the air here for some reason. He turned the analyzer toward himself for a bit thenlooked at the screen. I think the symbion is using the high oxygen content to finalize its last

stage of growth This is so exciting. Tella readied a chastising barrage of words for Poliverbut a shuffle from within the cave had her rifle instinctively in her hands in a matter ofseconds. She pointed the weapon into the gloom and squinted trying to make out the distantshape inside.

Come out here! she commanded. Slowly! The shuffling approached closer. Putyour hands up! she yelled.

It doesnt have hands, per se, corrected Poliver.Shut it, Pol! she yelled over her shoulder. Then refixing her gaze on the silhouette

in the cave, she yelled, I said, get your hands legs tendrils whatever, up! Theshuffling slowly turned to clicking and then to an unholy marriage of the two. From withinthe cave emerged a strange, bug-like creature. It resembled a centipede but only its rear ten

legs touched the ground. The other ten ended in sets of four-pronged pincers. Those could behands, she thought. The vertical part of its body stood some five feet in height and ended in alarge, round mass of glossy carapace with two huge, fly-like eyes that stared back at her. Aset of formidable mandibles completed the rest of the face.

Dooo nooottt shhhooot, it said. A barrage of spittle flew from its maw as it spokesome of which landed on Tellas boot and immediately started hissing, sending up a vilestench of burning leather. She kicked her boot into the sand before her, trying to douse thechemical reaction.

Holy shit! she exclaimed. This thing has some sort of acid spit!

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I dont think he likes you, said Poliver as he pushed past Tella to follow theirguide.

Well, I dont much like him either who the hell is he? she asked finally.The symbions grandfather, I believe, replied Poliver. Then he laughed. My

father-in-law, I suppose.

***

Wow, said Poliver, I have some really bad gas today. Tella shot a glance at hercohort. Through the dim light of the myriad of glowing lichen lining the walls of the cavernsshe could see his round silhouette swatting wildly behind him. For once, the discomfort ofher rebreather was trivial. Their guide had cautioned them regarding the use of their packlights once they were well into the tunnels. Unfortunately, it was not the Skith the humansneeded to worry about in the endless expanse of caves. More subterranean denizens lurkedwithin, each nastier than the next from what Poliver had told her. And they were all partialto the flesh of warm blooded creatures. It was all in his report, he frequently assured her.

Tella scanned ahead for a glimpse of the guide. He had repeatedly gone off to scout

ahead and returned only occasionally to see if they yet lived. Why did the Skith only sendus one guide to see us safely through these caves? asked Tella.

To which Poliver replied, I dunno. The man may have a death wish but Tellasurely did not. The whole mess made no sense at all. A clicking noise echoing down thecaverns ahead alerted Tella to the returning guide. She readied her weapon regardless. Thecreature peered around the corner up ahead. It clicked and clacked at Poliver then turnedand disappeared again.

What did it say? asked Tella.Um, I think he said there are a great number of weevils up ahead either that or a

great evil. Its hard to tell, really. Some of his clicks sound like clacks. This would mucheasier if he didnt have such a heavy accent. Tella wanted to say something, but then,

what could she say? Her life was in the hands of a fool and some incomprehensible bug. Theonly modicum of security rested in her hands in the form of her M5K plasma rifle. It hadgotten her through far worse scrapes in the past and she didnt foresee it failing her this time,weevils or no.

Despite her trustworthy blaster, Tella moved with caution around the bend ahead.She motioned for Poliver to stop but he had already done so and was sniffing at somethinghe had picked up off the ground. Tella continued, her weapon poised to open fire at theslightest trouble. She edged around carefully, and then stopped, dropping her weapon in amoment of utter confusion. Poliver came huffing up from behind. He stood alongside her,his mouth agape in a mirror image of her own. An enormous calcite insectoid head filled thefar end of the cavern.

Oh, said Poliver. I guess he said great weevil head. How silly of me. Silly of him,Tella thought? This entire mission is silly: She must still be in stasis; she was convinced of it.Soon, she would be awakened by the ships crew and the real mission would begin. Theguide emerged from the heads mouth and clacked at them.

He says the way is clear up ahead, Poliver translated. Tella nodded. Well, at leasttheres that, she thought. She moved cautiously across the cavern, with Poliver trailing,towards the mouth of the great weevil head. She had been in caves before, most recently onMars and Titan, but somehow these were different.

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These caverns arent natural, she pointed out. The walls and ceilings are toosmooth. Did the Skith carve them?

No, said Poliver looking around. The tunnel horror did well, at least thats howthe word translates.

Tunnel horror? Tella asked. Poliver reached for his pack once again but Tella

stopped him. Let me guess its in your report? Poliver smiled and nodded. Well, forthe sake of further argument, she said, lets assume I havent read the report and that Imnot going to now, nor do I have any plans to in the near future just tell me what I want toknow and be done with it. Poliver appeared hurt, but he continued regardless.

The tunnel horrors are gargantuan wormssimilar to our earthwormsand theydug all these caverns in their search for nourishment. They have incredible appetites,especially for the Skith and the other insectoids of this planet. The bugs are deathly afraid ofthem as the worms tend to target their hives. But, they are easily avoidable. You see, theyoften pass through many natural gas deposits in the rocks as they propel themselves forward,consuming everything before them. They cannot digest the gasses, however, so those just getexcreted through pores along their bodies. The constant emissions can be heard as theyapproach.

So, the Skith are warned by worm farts? Tella asked obtusely.Well, if you want to put it that way, yes. The guide returned and clacked some

more. He wants us to hurry. Tella gave a sigh then continued onward. Hopefully, theywould make it to the Skith leader unmolested.

***

Dont just stand there, Poliver! Get your damn weapon! Tella screamed. Theirguide was nowhere to be seen and ahead of them, oozing from the tunnel, dozens ofopalescent bugs came roiling toward them in a great river of snapping mandibles. Poliverdropped his pack and fumbled within. What are you doing? yelled Tella. She flicked the

safety off her rifle and waited for the hum of the charging mechanism. Suddenly, bolts ofenergized plasma clove into the approaching mass, the intense heat from the bolts explodingindividual insects into great clouds of steam and random bug parts as the super-heatedplasma tore through them. Holy shit! There are too many! Poliver!

I have it! he shouted. Tella chanced a look to see him holding a canister of somesort. He was reading the instructions on the side.

What the hell are you doing? she cried letting off another flurry of searing plasmabolts. She had given up hope of timing her shots to insure a consistent volley; as soon as thecharging mechanism was ready, she emptied it in another fiery barrage. More steam gushedand hissed from the attacking mass and bits of insect showered her.

I got it! I got it! was Polivers reply. He pulled a pin from the canister and threw it

into the path of the oncoming tide. The canister hissed; then a great farting noise emanatedfrom it. Then another and another. The bugs stopped, feeling the air with their antennae.One final blast from the canister sent it spinning violently and the insects fleeing in panicback toward where they had come.

Tella was breathless and dumbfounded. What was that? she asked. She wasntquite sure what had just happened.

Sonic grenade, said Poliver triumphant. Then an odd look crossed his face. Aw,what the hell? They were supposed to kill me. He stamped about the tunnel cursing hisstupidity.

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Poliver! Tella shouted. Sonic grenades are supposed to emit deafening booms.That was no sonic grenade.

Yes, it was, he grumbled, grabbing his pack forcefully. I modified it next time,I dont care; Im dying. Tella frowned in concern. Until this point she had assumed he hadbeen exaggerating.

Are you serious, Pol? You better not get me killed doing something stupid.I wont, he moaned. Besides, I need you to bear witness to my death youknow, for insurance purposes.

Tella started to say something but movement up ahead jolted her from her thoughts.She raised her weapon in a panic as the guide returned from up ahead. He looked surprisedto see them. Then, in agitation, he clicked and clacked somethingTella even recognized afew hissesas he waved his arms about.

No, Poliver waved him away, his voice a stew of annoyance and frustration.Theres no tunnel horror approaching.

***

The caverns stretched on for miles. Tella had been even more wary since the attackand that had slowed them down. She thoroughly checked every crevice and outcropping, afew times almost blasting their guide when hed return. The guide seemed increasinglyimpatient with her as a result. Poliver took it all in stride, however. Hed cursed himselfcontinuously for not getting killed earlier. To make matters worse, the symbion had beenjockeying for an opportune feeding position inside him.

Crap! Poliver cried out, I think its locked onto something inside. He felttenderly around his belly. We need to hurry up if Im going to get properly killed. Hewavered a bit and steadied himself on Tellas outstretched arm. If it looks like Im not goingto get killed in time, Im going to order the guide to eat me. Try not to kill him before hesdone. Tella had no response; although, the thought of watching Poliver being eaten by one

of the Skith was strangely intriguing. One more thing, he added.Now what, Pol?Please promise me youll take care of Pete.Words failed her once again. What? Who the hell is Pete? Poliver glanced at his

belly. Oh, for Petes sake Tella huffed. Poliver cracked a smile as Tella cut off her ownwords. Shut it, Pol! Not a word! She thrust his pack toward him. Move your fat ass! Theguide reappeared at that moment and approached them as he eyed Poliver in concern orhunger; it was hard to tell.

Nuuther fiiine? he asked Tella.Father, corrected Poliver.Tella sighed. I think the symbion is starting its birthing cycle, she answered. The

guide cocked its head this way and that as it studied Polivers belly. It let out a few gentleclacks and then a soft melodic trill.Hey, Poliver exclaimed. Its stopped moving! The plates on the aliens head

tilted back in a supposed smile once again.Nuuuust geeett nuuther tooo suuuurrrrgeeen, it said, its smile fading.Father, said Poliver.Yes, Tella agreed with a sidelong scorn at Poliver. Surprisingly, she had

understood the guide that time. We must get him to your surgeons. The alien nodded inagreement. Then, it clicked some words to Poliver.

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What did he say? asked Tella.Uh, he says theres a shortcut up ahead but its dangerous.Dangerous? How so?I believe he said theres some creature blocking the way boy, his accents really

heavy.

Tella turned toward the guide. Thats fine, she said. Lead the way. The creatureshrugged its shoulder and headed off ahead. A thought occurred to Tella as she watched himgo on ahead.

Poliver, what do you suppose their surgeons are capable of? I mean, these thingsdont seem very advanced.

Oh, no, Poliver waved off her concern. Theyre surprisingly advanced. Theyvebeen traveling via hyper-space long before us humans. Ive read that their cities aretechnological wonders.

Seriously? They live in freaking caves, Pol. How advanced can they be?The cities are within the caves, Tella. Why on earth would they carve new caves

when there are natural ones available? Tella was at a loss.Why live underground at all then? Why not build their cities on the surface?

Well, for one, the temperature is more constant below ground which is conduciveto a good breeding population, not to mention incubation. Then there is the fact thatsubterranean lairs are more easily defendable. Besides, living underground hides their citiesfrom other nosy aliens who come wandering by from time to time. Its worked for them;they have lived relatively unmolested for eons except for the occasional tunnel horror.

What about weaknesses, do they have any aside from the occasional plasma boltto the head? Poliver eyed her suspiciously.

Well, he said itching his stubbled chin with the butt of his weapon, theyre prettymuch the same as any other organic creature I mean, as far as weaknesses go. They are,however, highly susceptible to hydrogen sulfide gas.

Hydrogen sulfide? Tella asked.

Yes, he replied. Its in the report you have no interest in reading. Tella gloweredat her companion and Poliver continued. Right exposure to it causes them to loseconsciousness. Their surgeons use it as an anesthesia as well. Thats one reason why thetunnel horrors are so dangerous and why the Skith dont tend to fight them. The gases theyexcrete are primarily hydrogen sulfide. Surprise attacks by the worms have been known todevastate entire colonies. Tella thought on his words. As odd as the information seemed, itcould prove handy should the need arise.

***

A massive white sticky web lined the floor of the huge cavern. Tella looked on in

horror. So this was the creature that was blocking the way, a spider? Tella hated spiders, evensmall ones. The guide clicked and clacked something while pointing to a small hole at the farend of the expanse.

Thats the shortcut? she asked in a frenzy. All the way on the other side? Theguide nodded. She looked to Poliver but he was studying a section of the web. No way, shethought. Im not going through that. She knew a death sentence when she saw it. Poliver stoodfrom where he was squatting.

From what I recall from my research, the thing that built this web is almostcompletely blind and deaf. The only thing that will alert it to our presence is if we disturb the

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web in some way. Tella looked skeptical. You see, tiny hairs along its body pick up anyvibrations in the web

I dont give a shit, interrupted Tella. Im not fucking crossing that! The guidethrew some sort of hissy fit behind her but Tella ignored him.

Itll be fine, Tella. Our friend here will navigate a safe path. See? This cavern is not

as smooth as the others; its natural. There will be plenty of foot and handholds along the wall. The guide clacked something in acknowledgement. Tella took another look at thecavern. Poliver was correct; the walls here were jagged and she could already see severalplaces she could grab onto. She continued to shake her head, however.

No way, she said. The guide threw four arms up in the air.Ill never survive if we have to go back, Tella this is my only chance.Damn it, Tella thought. Damn it. Fine! But youd better be right. If I get my ass eaten

by some spider, youll be sorry. Poliver threw up his own hands. There was a hiss and aclack from the guide and he was off ahead of them scurrying amongst the outcroppingsalong the wall. Tella followed trying her best to keep her weapon ready should anything goawry. Poliver was close behind her. He was exceptionally maneuverable even considering hismassive girth.

So how much farther is it after we get to the other side? asked Tella after abouttwo hundred yards. There was no response from Poliver. Pol! How much longer? sherepeated. Nothing. Damn it, Pol! she turned but Poliver was nowhere to be seen. Shesearched the gloom of the cavern and then spotted him some twenty feet down from whereshe was. He was looking at a large strand of web that was attached to the stone before him.Her eyes widened. Pol! No! she screamed. Poliver looked up just long enough to offer hera quick smile and then he kicked the web.

Suddenly, from the far end of the cave, there was a low rumbling and a huge blackshape propelled itself toward them. Its head was massive, dark and flat; its body a long, thin white tube that extended well into the darkness behind it. However, what really caughtTellas eyes were its long, hairy legs and an impressive set of fangs that worked themselves

around disturbingly, extending outward from the creatures gaping maw. Poliver stoodunflinching before the creatures mad charge. Tella didnt remember drawing her weaponbut it was suddenly in her hands. She let loose a flurry of plasma careening at the spider. Thecreature recoiled as the bolts tore into its hide.

What the hell are you doing, Pol! Get out of there! Poliver kicked at the web oncemore, refocusing the spiders attention on him.

Nuuther! came a cry from ahead of Tella. The guide was scrambling back towardher. It occasionally grabbed a loose rock from the cavern wall and launched it at the beastdown below.

Father! Poliver responded reflexively, barely audible over the shrieks of the spiderand the thoom, thoom, thoom of Tellas rifle. The creature shook off a few more plasma

bolts and moved in toward Poliver, its fangs dripping a viscous material.No, no, no! screamed Tella. Before she could even think any further she launchedherself from the wall, kicking out with her legs, sending herself into an aerial tumble. Shelanded with a hard thump seconds later on the creatures massive flat head. The whine of thecharging mechanism reached a comforting high pitch and Tella slammed her muzzle downagainst the creatures head and pulled and held the trigger. Green and red juices and asickening steam flew up in a gush of shrieks and hisses from the spiders head. The massivebeast thrashed about sending Tella flying off and into the web below. Thankfully, she landed

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on her back somehow managing to keep her arms from the entanglement of the surroundingstickiness. The spider continued to thrash as it attempted to slink back down into its hole.

Thoom, thoom, thoom! Thoom, thoom, thoom! Tellas weapon pounded the beastsface and underbelly continuously as it retreated. Then, in a flash of white mist, a web shotout from within the spiders bolt hole pinning Tella down, finally ceasing her barrage. She

cursed herself. She was stuck, helpless, pinned to the ground. The creature moved forwardtoward her, finally ignoring Poliver who stood waving his arms in an obvious attempt to getits attention. It reared back, fangs flaring out, a sickly yellow ooze flowing from them. Then,it staggered to one side and wavered to the other. Its legs appeared to not be workingproperly. Then, with a massive, heavy thump, it crashed to the cavern floor mere feet fromwhere Tella lay trapped, its legs curling beneath it.

Ah, what the hell? screamed Poliver. The guide scurried down to where Tella layand began chewing on the web that covered her, its spittle dissolving the tacky threads easily.

Thhhaaat anaaaasingggg, it said once Tella could scurry free of her entanglement.Yeah, sure, she replied. She walked over to where Poliver stood poking at one of

the spiders antennae attempting to rouse the creature. Are you okay? she asked him.Yes, he said in frustration. And thats when Tella laid him flat with a fist to the

side of his head. The guide cried out in horror as Polivers bloated mass plopped motionlessto the ground.

***

A contingent of Skith entered the cavern shortly after Poliver regainedconsciousness. He sat rubbing his jaw, scowling periodically at Tella, muttering curses underhis breath. That suited her just fine. Shed skin his fat ass if he ever pulled something likethat again.

The guide clicked and clacked as it explained to the small group of Skith what hadoccurred, pointing to the dead spider, gesticulating wildly as it described Tellas actions. The

newcomers shot glances her way during the story, oftentimes nodding their heads inagreement or awe at whatever the guide was saying. In the end they gave her a wide berth asthey helped Poliver to his feet. One of the Skith had a saddle of sorts affixed to its back andPoliver was instructed to ride in it. He refused at first but the Skith insisted and after a glanceat Tella where she stood with her arms crossed beneath her breasts, that venomous scowlreturning to her eyes, he complied without further hesitation.

They were soon on their way and within the hour approached a massivesubterranean city. Tella was amazed at its shear immensity; it was magnificent. Buildingswere built into the cavern walls reaching dizzying heights, and the remainder of the city roseup to match them from the cavern floor. Skith of all sizes scurried about, some even walkingsmaller insects on leashes, and flying vehicles of some sort whizzed by up above. Wait, were

the Skith riding some larger flying insects?The contingent led them through the city to a large building at its center where Tellaand Poliver were promptly stripped of their weapons and equipment. Tella was ushered intoa plain, small room where she was then told to wait while Poliver was taken by what shesuspected were doctors; they were wearing white lab coats, after all. A bowl containing greenpellets sat on the table along with a glass of water. She was concerned, however, to hear thedoor lock once she was inside.

An hour passed and finally Tella had had enough. She walked to the door and beganpounding on it demanding for someone to open it... no one responded to her calls, and

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further pounding only resulted in a bruised hand. Another hour passed and finally there wassome activity outside the door. She could hear the usual assortment of clicks and clacks butthere was a human voice as well a familiar one, in fact. The door opened to reveal Poliver.He entered and it closed again behind him with a metallic clang. Unlike the fat Poliver sheremembered, this Poliver was rather slim and attractive.

Is that you, Pol? Tella asked as she stood. Poliver smiled.Yeah, its me alright.What happened? YoureYes, I know. The symbion took a considerable toll on my body as it grew. It caused

it to swell and do all sorts of odd things. Its out, though, now and doing fine, I mightadd. There was something off with his demeanor, however.

Are you okay, Pol? Are you still going to die?Oh, no, Im fine. The Skith clearly have a better understanding of the symbions

physiology and its amalgamation with me and developed methods of extracting it withoutbearing me any further harm. Its just the extraction part well, it wasnt the most pleasantthing Ive ever been through. It was downright nasty, actually. Tella frowned. They had toremove my genitals at one point I mean, they put them back and they work well, so

far but a man should never have his genitals removed it makes him feel like less of aman.

Poliver could scarcely look her in the eye after that. Is there something else yourenot telling me?

Poliver looked around the room. He scratched at his head. Well, yeah you see themission was not only to deliver me and the symbion to the Skith; there was another part tothe initial agreement.

Agreement? asked Tella. What agreement?Yeah, between our governments. You see, the original purpose of this joint venture

was to create two Human/Skith hybrids.Okay, said Tella matter-of-factly, So they have one now. Go fuck another Skith

and complete the mission. You seem to have some fondness for the species?Poliver grimaced and grabbed his crotch. Well, thats not exactly all there is to it.

Poliver pawed at his scalp some more. What was inside me was only one possible type ofhybrid. By using me as a host they created a hybrid that is more Skith than Human Itsfine for what their government wanted, but our government wanted one that is moreHuman than Skith. That can only come from the mating of a male Skith to a Humanfemale. Tellas eyes began to widen. Unfortunately, male Skith cannot mate successfullywith female Humans; its just not possible physiologically. Tella relaxed a bit. My child,however, because of the Human properties it gained from me, iscapable.

Tella shook her head. Oh, hell no, Poliver! Youre not saying what I think youresaying Have you been aware of this all along? Poliver looked at the ground, his hands in

his pockets. Oh my god, you have, havent you?Well, yes but thats one of the reasons I was trying to get myself killed as well.But, noooo you had to keep saving me. If I had died so would have the symbion. I didntreally care about the thing before. Had that happened, the Skith would have had no furtherneed of you. Hell, theyd have to go through the whole process once again. Do you knowhow much paperwork it took to broker this deal? I mean, everything had to be filled out intriplicate and then ratified by the council and then by a military tribunal not to mention adecree by the President and then passed by a congressional two thirds vote

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To top it off, you werent even their first choice. But you had to go and win thatblue ribbon in the chili cook off, didnt you, and piss off Captain Salas? Thats what sealedyour fate. Well, that and the fact that their first choice was Sergeant Donahue; but theyeventually concluded they wanted someone less warty. Regardless, you should always lethim win always. You know that. Its your own damned fault

Tella stood clenching her jaw. Im going to fucking kill you, Pol, she threatened.And then Im going to find your little bastard bug baby and Im going to kill it. And thenIm going to start with every fucking Skith on this planet and work my way to Captain Salas.There will be songs written of the carnage Im about to start. Tella moved toward Poliver.She didnt need a plasma rifle to do what she was planning.

No, wait, Poliver said inching back toward the door. I have a plan. Its going totake several months for the symbion to reach sexual maturity anyway. I hope to have us outof here long before then.

Really? When, Poliver? She inched closer.Tomorrow?And even if you manage to get me out of here, how do you propose to get us back

to the surface and hail the pilot? The ships probably long gone by now anyway seeing as

neither of us was supposed to be leaving this planetary roach motel.No, the ship is there; I made sure of it.Oh, really? And how can you be so sure?I disabled the hyper-drive before I left. Shes not going anywhere, and helps at least

a month away.Tella ceased her advancement. Youre sure?Yes, absolutely. And as for getting us out of here, I had a chance to speak with our

guide after my operation. It turns out hes one of the translators here and a culturalanthropologist not to mention one hell of a nice guy. He has access to every inch of thisbuilding and hes agreed to help us escape.

Tella was unconvinced. Why would he do that? Why does he even care? Why do you

even care, for that matter?Well, Poliver continued, he sees me as family now plus, hes taken quite a fancy

to you. I mean, the way you dispatched that Mammoth Krakhor was absolutely amazing. ASkith would never think of going up against such a creature single-handed. He says youremind him of his sixty-third daughter. She was quite the warrior as well.

Mammoth Krakhor?Yes the spider. Well, again, its another translation from their usual clicks, clacks

and hisses but if they only realized what it meant in English Poliver laughed and shookhis head. Anyway, I admit, I only cared that you lived to bear witness to my death butyou tried to save me despite it all, even though we both knew I was going to die. Its like youheld some unwavering hope deep down inside. His lips trembled. I dont care what

anyone else in the unit says about you, Tella; youre a good person, reckless or not. In fact,Id say brave. Im proud to call you my friend. He rubbed at his eyes. Sorry, heapologized, hormones.

Tella gulped down hard. Damn you, Poliver, she thought She pushed her creepingemotion somewhere back down inside, but struggled; it was like trying to hold a balloonunder water. She scratched at her forehead, desperately concentrating on the mission athand; the guide was their best chance of escape. She couldnt imagine finding her waythrough all those tunnels unaided. So, whats your plan, Poliver? And it had better begood.

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Poliver smiled. Well, first, you need to eat all this. He pulled several cans from thesatchel at his side.

What is this? Tella asked.Beans and some other things, Poliver replied.Tellas look soured as she read the labels on the rations. Really? she asked. Poliver

nodded. This had better work for your sake, she added.

***

Surprisingly, Polivers plan had worked. Tella had done as he had instructed: shechoked down the three cans of military-issued beans, one can of stewed cabbage andanother containing two hardboiled eggs. Additionally, he had instructed her not to relieveherself that evening. Sure, she could urinate all she wanted, but absolutely no bowelmovements. He had insisted on it.

The guards returned shortly after he had left the room and ushered her into anothercontaining a bed and locker. Some books and an old television and movie player sat on asmall table along one of the walls.My god, she thought, where did they get all this antiquated junk?

Accompanying those last two were several movies: Alien, Starship Troopers, Eight LeggedFreaks, A Bugs Life, The Roach That Ate Miami; the bug themed titles went on and on.Figures, she said aloud.

Following Polivers instructions she refrained from using the latrine that night. Herstomach had rumbled and bothered her to no end, and at some point during a restless sleep,Tella began to pass so much gas that she could scarcely remain in the room herself. It wasntuntil after the guards had come to bring her food that she truly understood Polivers plan.

They entered, one holding a tray piled with a yellowish paste, the other targeting aweapon on her. She jumped from her bed with a start, the guards reacting immediately toher sudden agitated state. She looked to the opened door behind them and then movedquickly to the side. They followed her, trying to anticipate her next move. She moved to the

other side; again they trailed her. More gas escaped her at that moment as it had been doingall night; she could no longer hold it in. Her stomach hurt terribly and felt as if it were goingto pop.

One of the guards cocked its head at the sound of the flatulence and they bothlooked around nervously clicking and clacking to one another. Taking advantage of theirdistracted state, Tella bolted for the door. The guard carrying the tray dropped it and tackledher easily as she passed while the other guard came to his partners assistance. With theadded weight atop her Tella couldnt help but expel even more gas. She struggled, but theSkith were too strong. Their combined weight crushed her and their long pointed fingersdug into her like great tweezers. Then, the two guards stopped their thrashing and weresuddenly a dead weight upon her. She struggled for some time, but finally managed to roll

them off her. Tella stood; she was dumbfounded Then something occurred to her: hydrogensulfide, she thought. The fart cocktail Poliver had fed her had caused her colon to producevast amounts of it. Tella wasnt sure what to do after that. She couldnt very well just walkout of the building. Then, Poliver was there at her door, craning his neck to make sure theguards were down.

Man, it stinks in here, he said. Come on. Just outside the room there was awheeled dumpster filled with bits of a gray shiny material. Next to it stood their guide. Getin, Poliver instructed. She looked dubiously at what filled the cart. Hurry, he urged,

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those guards arent the only two Skith in the building. Tella shook her head but got in.The material was light and had a musky smell to it and it crackled and popped as she workedher way to the bottom of the pile. She was comforted to find her pack and weapon awaitingher underneath the material as well. Poliver closed the door; then, there was some skitteringalong the floor and some clicks and clacks and the cart started moving. Poliver and the guide

talked quietly as the cart rumbled along.Tella could hear other Skith passing by from time to time and a few times the cartstopped and she heard brief conversations outside. Then, at one point, it stopped suddenlyat a few clacks from the guide and she heard Poliver tell her to remain in the dumpster andthat they would be right back. They returned some ten minutes later. She rode in silence forabout ten minutes more before they stopped one final time at which point she felt a handreach in to grab her. Poliver pulled her up and she looked around. Where was she?

They sat outside a door. Approximately twenty yards ahead of them was a tunnelentrance. Quickly. Into the tunnel, he told her. She clawed miserably at her skin, nowirritated from the material she had been lying under. It had worked its way into her shirt andpants like the remnants of a haircut.

What the hell was that shit I was lying in? she asked.

Oh, said Poliver, Skith molting.What!Shhhhh! hissed both the guide and Poliver.Skith scales. They shed them quite often. Theyre collected and hauled away and

used to fertilize lichen and fungi in the caverns. Youd think theyd be made of a chitin-likesubstance, but theyre protein based, much like the keratin in our own fingernails and hair.Tella jumped around in a serious bout of heebie-jeebies. She could feel bits of the mattercreeping down her back.

Lets just get out of here before I thoroughly throttle you, Poliver. Poliver smirkedand then nodded to the guide to go on ahead. The Skith clicked and hissed something atTella, the scales on its head tilting back.

And you shut up before I fart on you, she warned him. I think I feel anotherround coming on. He gave a start then hurried on into the tunnel.

***

They were close. Tella could just make out the hyper-jet not far from the tunnelsexit. Poliver had started a homing beacon about twenty minute before, summoning andalerting the pilot to their location. At the initial hail, the pilot had seemed a bit flustered,insisting the mission had been slated as one-way for the two soldiers. Tella had cussed andthreatened the manand the ships captain, despite his rankuntil he had agreed to sendthe pilot down to recover them.

Behind her came the scrabbling of many legs upon the cavern ground echoingthrough the darkness. They had remained ahead of their pursuers but just barely. Asudden attack from what Poliver claimed were red sand fleas had bought them some time,but now the Skith guards in pursuit were almost upon them. Tella scrambled into thedaylight just behind Poliver. The man moved surprisingly fast now without his excessweight.

She turned and shot several rounds of plasma back into the cave, covering Poliversretreat as he leapt into the hyper-jets open door. Their guide emerged from the entranceseconds later. Tella hissed. Had she hit him with that last barrage? He seemed fine. He

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looked back into the caves then waved his arms for her to get into the awaiting craft. Sheturned and ran and jumped into the jet as its engines revved. Curlicues of sand swirledupwards showering her in dust and grit as she attempted to close the vehicles hatch.

Get us the hell out of here! she yelled to the pilot.Gladly, he said. But I dont know how far were getting once were on the ship;

the hyper-drives down.Dont worry, said Poliver putting on a headset. Ill fix it when we get up there.The pilot nodded and turned the nose of the hyper-jet toward the cave entrance just as fiftyor so Skith poured out, several grabbing the guide roughly, throwing him to the ground as heattempted to tackle the first one out. The remainder raised their weapons toward the jet.

Light em up, LT! yelled Tella. The pilot smiled and gave a quick nod. Theattacking Skith hesitated as the massive guns on the jets wings rotated to target them. Therewas a flurry of gestures and squeals as they scrambled back into the cave, several pushing theguide ahead of them. There was a deafening sound as the jets guns plowed a massiveconjoined plasma stream into the mountainside. The side of the mountain exploded andcrumbled, debris careening down to form an immense pile of rubble blocking the entrance.

That should hold them, said the pilot over the headset. He revved the engines

further and turned the nose of the craft into the wind. Tella plopped back into her seat witha sigh. She couldnt believe she had survived it all. She looked to Poliver who was peeringout through the window, down toward the pile of debris that was once an entrance to theSkiths network of tunnels.

I hope hes going to be alright, he said, the concern in his voice a testament to hisgratitude for the help the guide had given them.

I hope so too, said Tella. Movement in Polivers satchel caught her eyes. Tellagasped and drew her weapon on it. Shit, Pol! I think one of those fleas got in your bag!

No! Poliver screamed in response, clutching the bag to his chest.Dammit! Theres something in your bag, Pol!I know, he replied. Dont worry; its just Pete.

Pete? Tella watched curiously as Poliver opened his bag and pulled from it a smallSkith-like being. Unlike the planets habitants, this one had human eyes and six legsfourrear ones for walking and two arms ending in strangely Human hands. It smiled up at her, itsmouth lacking the formidable mandibles of its kin.

Tellas eyes widened. Poliver, you didnt!I did, he said with a smile. Tella, meet my son.

*

for pete's sake

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