how to create the marriage of your dream 3

8/14/2019 How to create the marriage of your dream 3

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How to create the marriage of your dream 3

Have you observed that some people just appear that they are born lucky;everything just keeps falling in place for them with little or no effort. I havemet people who have succeeded tremendously because opportunities keep fallingtheir way; they are who you will call, the ones that the gods are always smilingon. However, I have also come to discover in my interaction with some of theseprivileged people, that the elevation they enjoy didn’t just drop on them as it

may seem. They had to create the environment that made it conducive for theopportunities that came their way; they had taken the painstaking path of beeneducated and making progressive changes that allowed them to be flexible to thechanging times.

In relationship issues, some also appear to be lucky when it comes to finding theright partner. When you meet people with this luck, you will really wish that youcan get married and experience the kind of pleasure they enjoy in their home.However, I have also observed that getting married to a good partner isn’t allthat will determine the success of any relationship, but what the partners tooktime to create in their home.

Whether you are the lucky or unlucky type don’t really matter, you can also create

what you desire to see in your own life and relationship. The law of creation hasnothing to do with been lucky; it has a lot to do with you knowing how to activateit to get what you want. One of the challenges that people have in their marriageis that they didn’t take the time to learn how to create the kind of marriage theydesire; they took the time to know other areas of life but most neglect the issueof relationship because its easy to conclude that you know it all in that area.People will read to pass through primary, secondary and tertiary institution yetwill not take their time to do the same for the success of the most vitalinstitution in the world- marriage.

I will like to share with you in this write up one of the ways to create themarriage of your dream and will continue in subsequent weeks-

Develop social skills- Sociologist often refer to man as a social animal; I feelthat that statement is degrading because man is far more superior that any animal-he was created in the image and likeness of his Maker. I will rather rephrase thestatement by saying that man is a social being.

Due to the fact that we are social beings, we need people to succeed or get to ourdesired destination. I have also come to discover that the way you relate withpeople, is the way you will relate with your partner after marriage in the finalanalysis. By design, we are created to behave in a consistent manner; irrespectiveof how anyone is treating you now, he/she will eventually treat you in the mannerhe/she treats others.

I define social skill as ability to relate with friends and foes alike. You can’t

love everyone, but you should be able to relate with people effectively; thereason why this skill is essential is because marriage is more than gettingmarried to your partner alone. It involves relating with other people who yourpartner has been involved with before you came into his/her life. The idea thatmarriage involves only you and your partner may be good for the western world, butthe reality is that it’s not so. You will need to develop this skill because it’snot something that can be impacted, but can only be acquired by conscious efforton the part of anyone interested in developing it.

Yemi had grown up in an environment where her grand mother (her father’s mum)always have her way in their home; his dad is the only child of her parents and



you can see the possessive tendencies in his mum’s relationship with him. Her mumhad always been at logger head with his mum and her (Yemi) dad has always takenthe side of his mum. She had heard her parents quarrel owing to her grand mum andher desire to be in charge in their home.

One of the prayers that Yemi had often prayed is that when the time comes for herto be married, her hubby’s mum will be different from her grand mum. She gotmarried to Dapo who is her friend right from the university; their marriage will

have been hellish if she hadn’t taken the time to learn from her parent’sexperience. What she has learnt to do is to keep quite when she observed thingsthat are not in place during the period that her mother in-law came to stay withthem; she waits for the appropriate time when the air seem right and approach herhusband on the issue on ground, praying that he will see them the way it should beseen.

Another way she had learnt to manage her in-laws is from the experience she haslearnt in relating with people especially her boss and subordinates in the office.She knows that during pressured periods in the office, the reactions she get fromthem some times hurt; so she just keeps quite and wait for the right time todiscuss any issue with them. That has also helped out in her relationship with hersister in-laws especially; today, she enjoys a relationship with her in-laws far

better than what her mum did with her husbands family members.

Understand the order in marriage- There is nothing created that will last the testof time if orderliness is out of place; I have come to discover that one of thechallenges in marriage is disorderliness. When either of the couple usurp the roleof his/her partner, trouble is always the end result. Watch a home the wife bossesher hubby around; the children (the unwise ones) always end up worse of in theirmarriages.

The order in marriage is God first, followed by ones partner, children and anyother thing or person can come next. It’s wrong for you to get married and letyour mum run your home (I have said this in meeting, when you get married, letyour mum stay in her husband’s house). If you are financially okay than the man

you get married to, don’t usurp authority from him by wanting to always have yourway; it will have a boomerang effect on your marriage that may destroy it. Everywoman should learn to allow the man feel in charge of his household.

Few days to the d day of Linda’s marriage, I asked her the question, what did youlearn from the collapse of your parents’ marriage? Her response was that, she hadobserved that her mum was always proud and pompous; she (her mu) came from a homeof royalty and wealth; she never stopped rubbing it on her dad. She observedperiods that her dad had to allow her (Linda) mum have her way because he wantspeace to reign. When she was 18 years ago, she saw her dad gave a kiss and wishedher happy birthday; he left for the office never to come and live with them again.Her guess was that he had gotten to a point that he couldn’t take any more whather mum had been throwing at him. It hurts, but as she began to growing up she

stopped blaming her dad for leaving them. So the lesson she learnt is, always letthe man of the house be in charge.

Do you have a question on any relationship issue or do want to receive my monthlytext messages? I also want to specially invite you for a monthly relationshipmeeting.Send a text with your email address and get a free e-book; your confidentialitywill be kept.

Olufemi Fasanya



+2348037257479www.relationship-singles.blogspot.com

how to create the marriage of your dream 3

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