november 2010 magazine issue2-1

8/6/2019 November 2010 Magazine Issue2-1

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November 2010 IssuePower Women of the Year Winner


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2nd Annual Women in Small Business ContestBy Deb Bailey

Each year since Power Women Magazine was the brain child of Deb Bailey, there has been much attention to

women worldwide. 2010 was no exception. Bailey held the second annual women in small business contest towhich hundreds of women participated.

Applicants sent in their five hundred word essays and shared how they are making a change in their communityor around the globe.

2010 has been the biggest year yet for the contest. Not only was there hundreds of applications this far, butthe level of the stories women had to tell was amazing. Sharing their loves and passions for others was amazingto read. Which made it really difficult to choose just one winner. The task was not easy, but one winner had to bechoosen. Says Bailey.

This years winner is Isabelle Duston. Isabelle, who creates applications for readers worldwide, knew she had tocome up with a way to stay in the United States to raise her children after a divorce left her without a way to stay

legally. She needed her own visa. She then invented the I applications series. They can be read on the Ipad,Iphone and Ipod touch. So far there are a few applications or apps as they are often called.

Apps such as Icooking which has sold over 125,000 copies and is not only for beginners. It was also the first ofits kind by offering the app in 10 different languages. Isabelle has designed thus herself. Each sells for 99 cents.

She also created the Istory application. This app is geared more for the ages of 3-8 group. Each reader canperform different things during the reading depending on their skills level. This application has professional whoread to the children commented Isabelle.

Creating and managing the development of Apps of All Nations has given me some great insight into the worldof application creation. The experience has established in me the conviction that more can be done with thesemobile devices, especially in continents like Africa where the development of mobile technology has been

tremendous. That is when I decided to found iLearn4Free, a non-profit organization whose mission is to createfree applications that will teach kids how to read in their native language.

In the developing word, the illiteracy rate is high, kids have limited access to education, and the teachingmethods are not very engaging. At the same time the access to digital applications through mobile phones isexpanding very rapidly.

The idea behind iLearn4free is that with these engaging applications, children with no access to qualityeducation will be given a chance for literacy. I know that our goal is very ambitious, but we believe that with thehelp of enthusiastic free thinkers ready to get involved and collaborate internationally, the project is definitelyfeasible. expressed the excited winner.

Isabelle has also recently been nominated for the Stevie Award. Apps of All Nations, LLC was named a Finalistin both the Technology Innovator of the Year and Best New Company of the Year categories in the 7th annualStevie Awards for Women in Business.


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Every Monday through Thursday Power Women Magazine Radio Show airs live viawww.blogtalkradio.com/powerwomenmag

We have had such esteemed guests in the past as Kim Wayans, Ruth Graham, Kathy Kinney, KatherineSchwarzenegger and Trista Sutter plus many many more. Also we have featured many wonderful womenworldwide who are making a difference in their neck of the woods. Speaking on everything from family,education, men, divorce, widowhood, jobs and money. Along with many other topics over the past 2 years.


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Get ready to purchase my very first e-book. Radio Podcasting. Learn how to be a wonderful radio showhost(ess) and every step of the way, how to do a talk show. Pre-orders are being taken right now. Email us [email protected] $9.95 per issue. Release Date November 25 2010


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Fifteen things to tell your teenager before they close their eyes to sleep

by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC

Having a teenager is one of the most challenging times in a parent's marriage -- as well as their life. It is scary,frustrating, and chaotic. It is a time of letting go, enforcing rules, strengthening boundaries and also nurturing.Teens may appear to be fighting against us at times -- rebelling against our rules, pointing out ourinadequacies, and telling us how "out of it" we are.

However, they also still love and need us. They need their mom and dad to stay strong and enforce the rulesand structure that help make them feel secure. There are certain things teenagers really need to hear fromtheir parents. You cannot say these things when they would be most apropos. However, you can say them atnight when the child is relaxed and going to sleep. They offer less resistance at night just before bedtime. Theywill remember what you said, and they will reflect on it when you least expect it.

15 things that should be said during your child's teen years

1. No one will ever love you in the same way or have your best interests at heart more than your mom/dad andI will.2.You have so many gifts and options; I will help you capitalize/benefit from them as best I can.3.How can I help you reach your dreams?4.No matter what you confide in me, I will always love you and do what is best for you.5. My job is not to be your buddy. I am your parent and will love and mentor you.6. I am sorry. (Say this whenever you hurt your child, or your child is in pain from something someone else saidto them.)7.I embrace your friends, but I love you the most.8. It is okay to mess up; I do it all the time.9. I am sorry you don't like my rules, but you will have to abide by them. I will hold you accountable if you breakthem and there will be a consequence.10. If you are in trouble, call me first, no matter where you are. I may be angry, but my first concern will alwaysbe your safety. We will talk about punishment or consequences later.

11.You are an integral part of this family, and the family needs you to run smoothly.12. I don't care what your friends get to do. I am not their parent; I am yours and you are my main responsibilityand concern.13. I admire you more than you can ever understand or know.14. If you get in trouble at school, be honest with me. Your teacher is the authority at school and if I hear it fromyour teacher before I hear it from you, I will feel betrayed or deceived. I may react to this breach of trust.15. From the first time I saw your eyes, I vowed to be the best parent I could be for you. I make mistakes butthey are not meant to hurt you. I make them because I love you so much and get scared sometimes. It is hardparenting a teen (your child will understand this confession).

The number of years your child is a teen are relatively short, but no time in your child's life can influence therelationship they have with you into adulthood as much as their teen years. Hold strong boundaries, talk withthem, listen to them, and tell them frequently with a hug how much you love them. They will make it through --

and so will you.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of StartTalking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book atwww.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.


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I'm inspired to write this after watching today's episode of Oprah. Now, I dont normally have time to watch, but Ihappened to be free this afternoon. A man I am very fond of is sharing very intimate andpainful memories of his past. Tyler Perry is very successful and a great influence formany.I have always been drawn to him for some unknown reason...

Although I speak and work with women who have endured abuse, isolation, ridicule etc.,for me, it is different hearing the same kind of pain from a man. Men are often taught tokeep their emotions within, to "suck it up" or "man up". This hurtful and useless skilldamages and destroys relationships that would otherwise be fruitful. Not only do thosewho knowingly or subconsciously practice this defense end up depriving themselves oflove and happiness, they deprive others of their light and wisdom gained from the painendured.For those of you who know me, you know that so much of what I do, is a result of my own painful experiencesfrom childhood-to date. From growing up with an abusive, bitter and cheating father, to being molested by aman renting a room in the house of the babysitter left to look after me, to dealing with issues with bodyimagepain should have been my middle name. The saying God only gives you what you can handle oftenannoyed me tears. Why does he think that I am unbreakable or strong enough to handle all of this? I felt that Iwas being groomed for a part I did not request and wanted to be weaker so I didnt have to deal with itany of it

anymore. Trust me, Ive had some very intense conversations with the man upstairs.I could continue to hide everything or continue wearing the mask that so many of us are accustomed to wearing.(You know the one that tells everyone that your life is great, youre exactly where you want to be and nothingcould be betteryes, that one). However, after spending years hiding in shame, disgust and self-hate, I'velearned that I only give power to the people and things that have hurt me. I've learned that I have the ability torise from a very dark place that I've dwelled, and help others to do the same. Its not always easy, but itscertainly comforting to know that all my suffering wasnt for nothing. By opening up and by taking off that mask,I wasnt just helping someone else to begin their journey in healing, I was taking another brave step towards thesurfacewhere happiness and freedom live.There's nothing like the liberating and freeing moment that is experienced when sharing and helping others whogo through familiar pain. To know that you have survived trauma and distress and can now lend a helping hand,words of encouragement, or advice is truly gratifying. There are a lot of people who hide in the dark and theresa tremendous sensation being the light that shines for another to see their way through. Not to mention the gift

of healing you give yourself. Think about it.

Keep Your Head Up,Nickeishawww.nickeisha.net

Please help the women and children at Potters Clay Abuse shelter by donatingdiapers from size newborn to 6. You can even donate pull ups and baby wipes, lotions and powders. Email us forshipping address [email protected] remember it is a tax write off and a receipt will be givenwhen requested.


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Women related Computer induced Stress IssuesWomen because of their delicate hormonal balance needs may find themselves

feeling overly stressed by long hours of computer use . Women need a balance in their estrogen to progesteronebalance for a sense of wellbeing. When this balance is off the resultant stress to the female system can beexpressed by the body in the form of mood swings, depression, cancer and a host of other issues.

Consequently any environment that has a potential of affecting this delicate balance is a recipe for all kinds ofhealth and relationship issues.The artificial light as well as toxic artificially generated chemicals and mineralssuch as silicon used in making computer monitor screens, keyboards, cables and other computer parts that bothfront end and back end computer users and operators come in contact with can affect this delicate balance.Forwomen in the pre menopausal, menopausal or postmenopausal stages when natural estrogen production

reduces, the body may replace its shortfall with this toxic estrogen.

Artificial estrogen or estrogen like chemicals that reflect off the computer screen could actually derail the balancein a toxic way as the body finds it difficult or virtually impossible to use this estrogen that could become moreabundant than natural estrogen in the body creating all kinds of havoc in the system that no drug can arrest.When this happens the only recourse is to detoxify and avoid computer light exposure.In todays word thissolution is virtually impossible to implement, as computers have become indispensable to our way of living.

Since avoidance may be difficult, women may need to consider avoiding other avoidable sources of artificialestrogen and other stress causing artificial chemicals and light such as non organic foods, poorly ventilatedenvironments, household chemical sprays, artificial chemical containing cosmetic product and so on to preventthe body from being overwhelmed by toxins, excessive television use, microwave ovens and so on.

Some simple rebalancing activities include going for long walks during the day (take time to look at the greengrass, leaves and other natural beauties, crack open the window to allow natural rebalancing of inside air, readwith the light of the sun daily (especially the human computer user manual we call the Bible to get a betterunderstanding of the human bodys code of existence). Eat plenty of organic fruits and vegetables as well aswhole grains. Cook at home more often to get a better control of what you are actually eating.

Take many breaks while working and make an effort to blink often, have daily positive inter personal physicalface to face conversation and contact with others especially family members (avoid negative issues. Learn tosay sorry quickly and do not insist on always being right. Talk less and listen more), help someone in need asoften as possible in easy simple ways and so on.

To learn more please get hold of my books available at amazon.com in print and in kindle version. Also visit mywebsite www.foodsthathealdaily.com.


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CHANGE

So many of us fear the word it means things changing, evolving, moving, action. It canmean unsettlement, different NOT THE SAME! Its time we learn to embrace not only the

word CHANGE but the ACTION behind the word change. Leo Tolstoy once said,Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. To resistchange is to fear the unknown. We must realize that things are always in transition alwayschanging, if we can only see that. Change is difficult; no one has said to change is easybut we must accept the path ahead of us, accept that it may be difficult and then dive into the change. I askmyself, why do we fear change? Some people rather stay in situations, in relationships, in jobs that do notserve them, then to change the situation or job so I come to the question I asked before why do we fearchange?

At times, pain accompanies change to change means we must take action and actually do something about it.The fear comes from the action and the reaction of a circumstance. We would rather stay in an unhealthysituation or job then to actually do something about it and make the changes. Change can also be positive butwe must have the insight to see it that way. So I give you a challenge; I want you to ask yourself what is it thatyou would like to change in your life? Once you know that, then take the necessary steps to go in that directionof change. I realized that we cannot change anyone else but ourselves.

We are so quick in wanting to change others. In the book, Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz he states,when we want a dog, we out and buy a dog but then when we bring the dog home, we want the dog to behavelike a cat. Thats what we do with people. We must accept our relationships for what they are. We must be willingto change in order for change to happen. Lets not waste our time to try and change others when there is somuch work to do within us! The only person you can change in life is YOURSELF! I saw an inspirational posterand it said, In the winds of change, you will find your true direction.

Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us all!

Nancy Shieldswww.makegirlfriends.com

Help Bring smiles to women and children at the local Potters Clay shelter. There are many women and children

who flee abusive homes with nothing but the clothes on their back. Help put a touch of the Holiday Spirit in theirhearts. Learn how you can help at www.powerwomenmagazine.com or email [email protected]


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Happy Mind Vitamins 4 You!

What are you feeding your mind today? Did you take your happy mind vitamins yet? Remember, you are whatyou eat! Take your Mind Vitamins NowResearch shows your mind does not distinguish between the reality of asituation you experience, and the visualizing of an experience you create. Your mind considers both events asreal, and therefore ignites the cascade of response accordingly. First, your thoughts, then your feelings created

by the thoughts, and then a behavior as a consequence of the thoughts and feelings.

If this is true, then you should be able to increase your good feelings at a mathematical rate proportional to thegood thoughts you input into your mind. Good News For You. Let's take this principal one step further, andconsider the opportunity to "rewrite" the script in your mind. Perhaps you get a consistent bad feeling every timeyou pay your bills on line. It feels nearly impossible for you to create a good feeling from a bad feeling producingbehavior - paying your bills (who really enjoys paying their bills?). This may be true for you.

Good News! Did you know you can insert a good thought, which produces a good feeling into the displeasureaction,which can help overwrite the feeling you experience from that displeasure task? You can! For example,you could play a positive blog talk radio interview in the background on your computer, while you are payingthose bills. Listening to the happy mind vitamins from the radio show, while you are doing the negative task athand, offers your mind the opportunity to focus on the new information you are feeding it to process. I like to call

this effort, "successful sabotage" because you are deliberately sabotaging yourself for success.

The Mind is aTerrible Thing to Waste Your mind is capable of numerous tasks simultaneously. Just because youhaven't experienced success in changing your thoughts, feeling, and behaviors to date, doesn't mean your mindcan't achieve the goal with tremendous success. Don't believe me? Try it Now for free! Our own Deb Bailey hasa super potent "Power Woman Radio" show where you can listen live, call in with your personal questions, ordownload and recycle the happy mind vitamins again and again, as needed. The positive results are limitless!Stand next to manure and smell like manure. Stand next to perfume, and smell fragrant too.Be careful what andwho you surround yourself with, because without any effort from you, the effect automatically rubs off onto YOU.Surrounding yourself with positive affirmations, knowledge, and ideas, will faithfully generate the same. I loveutilizing blog talk radio as one of my happy mind vitamins tools in my armamentarium of building a solid happylife. Real life resources are available on demand, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week at no charge! Howgreat is that?! The only cost to you and me, is the time it takes to set your reminder, or follow a show. Viola!

I am passionate about offering you a steady source of solutions to problems on my own, Best People We KnowRadio Show. Antibiotics to kill the many tireless diseases of the mind. Committed to helping YOU be the bestperson you were created to be! You are not alone in quest to be your best. You CAN take mind vitamins whichhelp you get from; hopeless to hopeful; good to great; average to extraordinary. The choice is yours. Don't missthe opportunity to be happy. You're worth the effort!

Deb Scott is a Certified Professional Coach, speaker, and author of the award winning motivational book; "TheSky is Green and The Grass is Blue-turning your upside down world right side up!"You can enjoy the benefits of having Deb as your Personal Empowerment Results Coach via Discover theAmazing YOU! Coaching www.greenskyandbluegrass.com following Deb's "Best People We Know Radio Show,"and ordering her book "The Sky is Green and The Grass is Blue" today, on Amazon.


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Dear Inquisitive Canine,

Our dog Tyler loves going to the dog park. But since he learned to fetch, all he wants to dois play with a ball. He doesn't play chase and run with the other dogs, and in fact rarely evensniffs hello.

The park is covered with abandoned balls and somehow Tyler always convinces someoneto throw the ball for him. How can we get him back to playing with other dogs at the dogpark?

Kevin S.Northern California

Dear Kevin,

Id be more than to give you pointers for getting Tyler more engaged in dog play with other dogs at the park. Idalso like to positively reinforce your behavior of taking Tyler on outings to public places.

First, ask yourself what your main goal is. To me it sounds like it would be for Tyler to engage in dog play with

various dogs during these outings. Youre correct in taking the ball out of the picture duing park visits. Bringingtoys to a dog park is similar to a child bringing his/her video game to another childs birthday party at GreatAmerica. If there are no other dogs around to play with, then fetch is fine. But if you want your dog to play withother dogs, then yes, do away with the superfluous distractions. Youll want to think about what behaviors arebeing reinforced, which ones youd rather reinforce, and which ones you want to ignore (or limit by withholdingrewards).

Interacting with other dogs and ignoring the ball: Reward!

* If he is distracted by a ball, redirect Tyler to an alternate behavior, then reward!

Ball obsession equals time out on leash for twenty seconds.

Other humans and their behavior: Ask for help if necessary. Let others know that you are teaching Tyler to playwith other dogs, and that fetch time is played elsewhere. You can thank them for helping you out.

When it comes to teaching Tyler to play with other dogs, youll want to do so in baby steps. This is calledshaping. Instead of waiting for a full-on play session, you can reward small steps such as a glance, then moveup the behavior chain, allowing Tyler to set the pace until he is interacting with multiple dogs at once.

Lastly, to really emphasize how fun playing with other dogs is, stop the steak party once you leave the dog park.And leave the game of fetch for other locations. After a few rounds of play, and steak hors d'oeuvres, Tyler wontwant to leave, so be careful what you wish for.

_______Dear Inquisitive Canine is written by Certified Professional Dog Trainer Joan Mayer and her trusty sidekickPoncho. Joan is the founder of the Inquisitive Canine and developer of the Out of the Box Dog Training Game. Ifyou or your dog have questions about dog training and behavior, please email them: advice @

theinquisitivecanine.com


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Bullying...Is It More Than Sticks and Stones?

by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC

Bullying is thought of as being an ordinary passage of growing up. We all remember being pelted with some sortof hurtful words. Some kids remember being beaten up on the playground. Although this wounded manychildren of generations past, it wasn't always taken seriously. When we hear the word "bully", we continue tothink of it as not a big deal. However, bullying has changed. It is more than words or getting teased on theplayground. It is inescapable harassment, physical assault, verbal abuse, and a constant barrage of cyberattacks that leave kids feeling defeated, fearful and alone.

According to Maureen Hackett, a mental health child advocate, children and teens are at fragile stages in theirdevelopment of identity and self-esteem. Their relationships with peers are an integral part of how they seethemselves and how they view their sense of worth. This is just one of the aspects that makes bullying sodangerous. Hackett goes on to say that the young victims look to their parents and other adults in their life forvalidation, appreciation and protection. When parents, teachers, or other adults in children's lives don't takebullying seriously or fail to help them, the child is hurt further. Many times this intensifies the bullying childrenare experiencing.

There is also no escape. While home used to be a safe haven, now there is an onslaught of cyber bullying sothe terrorizing often continues at home, even in the child's own room.

What can we do to help with this situation that happens every day, everywhere, to many children? The first stepmay be getting involved to change the laws. Encourage the state to recognize bullying as a form of abuse.Currently the word "bullying" minimizes what our children are going through on an emotional, or even physicallevel. They are being terrorized.

Warning signs your children are being bullied:* They come home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings.* They have unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches.* They complain about not having friends.* They seem afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part withpeers in organized activities (such as clubs).

* They have no interest in school or their grades. They begin to struggle with school.* They are weepy, sad, moody, or depressed when they come home from school.* They complain frequently of headaches, stomachaches or other physical ailments.* They experience a loss of appetite or begin to gain weight.* They appear anxious and suffer from low self-esteem.The best advice for parents regarding helping your child is take it seriously. Do not minimize it. Write everythingdown (for future reference).

More tips for parents with children who are being bullied:

* You need a plan and you need to make an appointment with your child's teacher. Share your ideas with theteacher and make sure that they include the time spent at both school and at home.* Talk to your child with a private or school counselor. This will help reinforce your child's sense of worth. Many

counselors have ideas of how best to intervene using other resources. If your child has a private counselor, heshould visit the school in order to help support the teacher's efforts.* Limit your child's computer time and have her share threats she is receiving with you. If your child has a cellphone, be aware of how much texting is taking place. Make sure you have a copy of these threats in case youneed legal help.* If there is no improvement within a week, it is time to take it to either the principal (if the abuse is happening atschool) or other person in charge.

If you are the parents of a bully:


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* Your child needs counseling along with a professional assessment from a psychiatrist. (Your whole family maybe encouraged to attend.) Bully behavior is learned and suggests that there may be a "bully mentor" in yourhome.* Make a doctor's appointment for your child. Sometimes children act out with impulsive and angry behaviorswhen there is something wrong with them medically (a hormone imbalance, for example).* Set firmer limits at home. Limit your child's ability to text and use the Internet.* Violence toward your child (spanking, etc.) will not stop the behavior and may make their bully maneuversmore intense.Overprotecting your child and telling yourself that it is normal child behavior doesn't work either. There isnothing normal about hurting another child. You need to act and you need to do it now.

Behind every bully who is terrorizing another child, there is a parent who has ignored the bully's behaviors anddecided that it will go away on its own. Bullying does not go away. It usually gets worse, and intervention onboth the parent's behalf (the parents of the bully and the parents of the child being bullied) works best.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of StartTalking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book atwww.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.


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CARE enough to balance your employee relationships

By Ivy Carter

When you become a small business owner, you instantly become a boss and there is a fine line between thetwo that you must ensure is not blurred when dealing with your employees and other business constituents. Ifyou do not ensure you take the proper precautions or care when dealing with your employees then you maybecome viewed as too harsh or too soft. When dealing with the growth and sustainability of your small businessyou must know how to handle all employees, internal and external, so you will not be confused or overwhelmedwith trying to make everyone happy.

Here are some steps to ensure you take C.A.R.E. of you employees and their issues:

C Convey any discipline messages in private and accolades in public. It is very easy to discipline youremployee on the spot when they have done something erroneous or caused your business to be viewed in abad light but doing this will guarantee you being viewed as a harsh employer. Instead of letting other employeesknow when an employee has done something wrong pull the faulted employee to the side, in person, and letthem know what was done. Never embarrass your employees.

A Ask questions to get to know your employees and to understand them. The easiest thing to do for somesmall business owners is to draw erroneous conclusions or assume the worse of your employee before knowingthe fact. If you are ever unsure of what happened within your small business, just ask and save yourself thetrouble of looking like a tyrant. On the other hand be sure to ask your employees questions to get to knowthem. Knowing the simplest details about your employees will assist you with understanding when and if theyhave any issues.

R Remember special dates of your employees. Remembering ties into the Asking section because once yougather the relevant information on your employees you should take extreme care to remember the informationthey tell you such as a birthday, anniversary or other special dates.

E Exclude becoming overly friendly with your employees. You are the boss and owner of your business first,not a friend and should always conduct yourself as such. Becoming friends with your employees may becomeone of the simplest things to do but it may also not be the wisest thing to do because of the problems it willcause when disciplinary actions have to be taken.

You do not have to walk around as if you are a tyrant, commanding your employees to be mindless dronesnor do you have to be overfriendly to seem as if you are the nicest boss in the world. A healthy balance whendealing with your employees is to exclude potentially hazardous relationships with your employees you willmaintain a health business environment; remember the special dates of your employees; always ask before youassume the worse and ask to get to know your employees better; and convey messages which are ofdisciplinary matters privately and accolades publically. Your employees will embrace you as a well-roundedleader who cares for their happiness at your company.


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Treading Water in an Ocean of Poverty

by Gabrielle Yetter

Her smile still haunts me. Two teeth in a wrinkled, brown face in a body bent double from years of working in therice fields. Leaning on a wooden stick, her hands outstretched, begging for anything we could give. Soaked tothe skin after standing in a pouring rainstorm for an hour on a dirt road leading up to the Phnom Tameo wildliferefuge, 30km southeast of Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

She was one of dozens. An old woman amidst children, handicapped and struggling. All lining the road to the30-minute drive which led to the animal park. They came from the city on weekends, we were told, in hope ofgathering a few Riel from visitors who took pity on their plight.

And take pity we did. How could you not? Here were we, four comfortable westerners from across the world,where we live in a world of plenty, spending $30 on a day's tuktuk ride to the park. How could we close our eyesand our hearts to people who had broken arms, crippled backs and unseeing eyes and whose sole hope lay inthe kindness of strangers?

It had started as an outing to the zoo and turned into something so much more.The wild tigers, eagles, bearsand elephants we saw were magnificent but they paled in significance to the impact of the human sights wewere exposed to.

And, every time we handed over a small offering to a person on the road, the same thing happened. Theysmiled. Wrinkled faces softened, tiny brown eyes sparkled and old men bowed their heads in gratitude.As wedrove along, humbled by the sight, we asked ourselves "What do they have to smile about?" And every time,they smiled.

Later, our tuktuk driver, Som On, made an unscheduled stop on the way back to Phnom Penh. He wanted us tosee his home.

We pulled into a driveway and walked with him as he tentatively wove a path through an alleyway in a citysuburb. His 8-year-old son stood naked ahead of us as he poured buckets of water over his body and giggled as

we said hello. Som On led us into a doorway where his wife greeted us in their home - a dark room half the sizeof our bedroom, one tiny window with bars and a thin linoleum floor.

They beckoned us to sit on the floor mat, brought us bottles of cold water and plugged in two floor fans to coolus. Som On apologized they had nothing to give us and told us he lived here with his wife, two children andyounger brother and was saving to build a house on a plot of land he'd bought five years earlier. It was hisdream to build this house and was hoping to save the $4,000 he needed in the next year.

After we spent a few minutes socializing with his family, Som On whisked us off to see his land. Driving througha garbage-strewn alleyway off the main street, he pulled up in front of a tiny sandy heap. A space smaller thanthe space I used to park my car back home. This was his land. The place he hoped to create a home for hisfamily.

Our hearts ached for him and for the people we'd seen on the road to the animal refuge. Gentle, kind souls whoreached out to us and lived lives so far removed from our existence. A silence descended upon us as we drovethe rest of the way home, trying to digest and find some semblance of reason in the experiences of the day.

As for Som On - He smiled.


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november 2010 magazine issue2-1

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