Relational Aggression

David Krasky, Psy.S.School PsychologistUniversity School

Fall, 2008

Goals• To define and give examples of relational

aggression and how it relates to the Lower School

• To provide educators with specific skills to prevent and cope with relational aggression

• To create specific interventions applicable to University School with regards to relational aggression

What is Relational Aggression?• A type of aggression which the behavior is

intended to harm or disturb relationships or feelings of acceptance, friendship or group inclusion.

• The behaviors occur repeatedly over time.• An imbalance of psychological power is

created.

(Nansel, T.R. et al., 2001)

What is Relational Aggression?Relational aggression involves interpersonal manipulative behaviors as in:

• Directly controlling• Social alienation• Rejection• Social exclusion

(Yoon, J., Barton, E., & Taiariol, J., 2004)

The most common forms are name-calling, teasing, rumors,

rejection, and taking of personal belongings as well as the silent

treatment, glares and eye-rolling. (Nansel et al. 2001)

Where Is It Happening?• Relational Aggression usually takes place

in unstructured settings, out of direct adult supervision.

PlaygroundLunchAftercareTransitionsBathroomEarly-careField Trips

Why Is It Happening?• To have power• To have popularity• To be accepted • To protect friendships• Jealousy• To get revenge, retaliation, retribution

(Gooch, 2005)

History• 1995 – Relational Aggression was

introduced by Crick and Grotpeter. They defined relational aggression as “harming others through purposeful manipulation and damage of their peer relationships.” A peer nomination measure was developed for children in third to sixth grade. Research also reported that girls are just as aggressive as boys, although different behaviors were used to express their hostility.

(Underwood, M.K., 2004)

Gender• Originally, early studies focused more on

the overt aggressive behaviors of boys.• Scholars began recognizing that girls may

express their anger differently. It was believed that females were more likely to engage in relational aggression than males. (Crick, N.R. & Gropeter, J.K. 1995)

• Recent studies by Crick and colleagues have reported that relational aggression is the same among girls than boys. (Yoon et. al, 2004)

• However, the same study found that females perceived it more hurtful and were greater affected socially and emotionally.

What Can We Do?Teachers can create a classroom culture by:

• Understanding the range of girls aggression.

• Refusing to tolerate.• Inviting girls’ private and public discussion

and seeking the reasons and solutions of aggression as a team.

• Expand the definition of aggression.• Openly discussing its open forms by

examples, stories or various media.• Keep open communication with parents.• Post “Anti-Bullying Classroom Rules”

What Can We Do?• Observe children in the classroom, at

lunch, in the hall, and before and after school, noting students' nonverbal reactions to peers. Ask yourself: • Who is alone? • Is there a group leader? • How do her followers act toward others?

• Discuss relational aggression with your students to make sure they know that starting rumors, ridiculing others, and other forms of covert aggression are not acceptable.

What Can We Do?• Reinforce student social interaction skills

through the use of role-playing exercises, literature, writing assignments, and other means.

• Emphasize considering the feelings of others, developing listening skills, and exhibiting other character traits that are critical to forming lasting friendships.

• Intervene immediately.• Encourage bystanders to stand up to

bullying.

What Can We Do?• Help girls understand that conflicts are a

natural occurrence in friendships and provide them with an opportunity to practice being supportive of one another.

• Encourage students to honestly resolve problems through open discussion and compromise.

• Use descriptive specific praise when the bully breaks their pattern and acts responsibly and kindly.

What Can We Do?• Believe the victim. Relational aggressive

girls are skillful at concealing their bullying. Hence, many educators are blinded by the appearance of a model student who they feel would never engage in covert aggression.

• Understand that having at least one friend buffers a child from relationship aggression, so facilitating friendships between girls will help them cope with a relational aggressive child. Encourage girls to choose friends who are considerate and trustworthy, not exclusive or mean.

Asking Open Ended Questions• What did you do?

• What was wrong with that?

• What goal were you trying to reach?

• Next time you have that goal, how will you reach it without hurting anyone?

What We Shouldn’t Do!• Do Not tell the victim to ignore the

relational aggressive act.• Do Not ask the victim to solve the

problem.• Do Not minimize the situation.• Do Not use peer mediation.• Do Not ask the bully questions like, “Why

did you do that? or “How would you feel if someone did that to you?”

Anti-Bullying Committee• We plan on starting an anti-bullying

committee with several members who will be the “think tank” with regards to bullying procedures and policies. This committee will be the experts when it comes to supporting students, faculty and parents. They will also develop a specific protocol on how teachers will report and communicate bullying behaviors to parents. The committee will also serve as a resource for any questions with regards to bullying.

References• Crick, N.R., Grotpeter, J.K., (1995).

Relational Aggression, Gender, and Social-Psychological Adjustment. Child Development, 66, 710-722.

• Gooch, L. (2005). Girls bully for power and loyalty. The Age, 10, (30), 113-120.

• Nansel, T.R., Overpeck, M., Pilla, R., Ruan, W.J., Scheidt, P., (2001). Bullying Behaviors Among US Youth: Prevalence and Association with Psychosocial Adjustment. The Journal of the American Medical Association. 285, 2094-2100.

References• Underwood, M., (2003). Social Aggression

Among Girls. New York: Guilford.• Yoon, J., Barton, E., & Taiariol, J., (2004).

Relational Aggression in Middle School: Educational Implications of Developmental Research. Journal of Early Adolescence, 24, 303-318

Helpful Websites• The Ophelia Project –

www.opheliaproject.org• International Bullying Prevention

Association – www.stopbullyingworld.org• Bullying.org – www.bullying.org• Stop Bullying Now –

www.stopbullyingnow.com• National Association of School

Psychologists – www.nasponline.org

Helpful Books for Kids• “My Secret Bully” by Trudy Ludwig• “The Hundred Dresses” by Eleanor Estes• “Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies,

Peer Pressure, Popularity and Putdowns” by Sandra McLeod Humphrey

• “Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain” by Trevor Romain

• “How to Make, Keep, and Grow Your Friendships” by New Moon Books Girls Editorial Board

• “The Meanest Thing to Say” by Bill Cosby• “Stop Picking on Me: A First Look at

Bullying” by Pat Thomas

Helpful Books for Teachers• “Queen Bees and Wannabees” by Rosalind

Wiseman• “Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads:

Dealing with the Difficult Parents in Your Child’s Life” by Rosalind Wiseman

• “The Bully, the Bullies, and the Bystander” by Barbara Coloroso

• “Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do” by Dan Olweus

• “Schools Where Everyone Belongs: Practical Strategies for Reducing Bullying” by Stan Davis