sheepish duck #8: the lost issue
DESCRIPTION
Sheepish Duck is a famous American humor magazine written by some kids in Rhode Island.TRANSCRIPT
R E D A C T E D
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Cover drawing by
Back cover drawing by
Dylan ingham
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DEAR SHE EPISH DUCK
ear Sheepish Duck,
Kendall Jones gave me a copy of Sheepish Duck: Vol. 5.5.
I just finished reading it and thought I should write to tell
you how hilarious I think it is.
Sincerely,
Area Teacher
D
Write to us! 281 County Road,
Barrington, RI 02806
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V O L U M E 8
ERICA DOMINGUEZ Sheepish Psychic Diary 23 Beanie Review 35 10 Random Thoughts 52 In the Closet 53
The Secret Santa’s Dilemma
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Classic Novel Review 73
LIZA OBEL -OMIA Ted & His Bread Machine 10-11 Elevator Stories 13-20 HANNAH HICKS -SANTOS Princess of Fire 8 The Square Chronicles 9
Things I Would Sell if I Had a Store
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Tomboy Scouts 29 Clothes I See on TV Shows 32-33
The People That Complain About Things Nobody Cares About
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A Product Idea 71 EVAN STABACH A Comic 21 November Rain 41 Ghickens 42 The Trash Incident 43
There is an Octopus in a Tree
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Panels 48 The Mission Chronicles 57 EMMA GERMANO New Drawings 28-29 A Doodle 35 A New Story 58 Left hand Drawings 67
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NINA POLUMBO Pimple Problems 25 Dezat 44 A New Poem 70 CLARA KUGLER A Painting 22 An Owl 26
A Letter for My Grumpy Attorney
38-40
A Lovely Drawing 55
What I see Outside a Night Window
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COLIN STABACH Characters 6 New Drawings 46-47 Woncker 59 JACKSON OBEL -OMIA Post-Holiday Dictionary 30-31 Mushroom End 62-63 ZACHARY OBEL -OMIA The End of Life 60-61 DYLAN INGHAM A Story 50 EMESE BENZIGER The Alphabet is Very Boring 27 Hair! 36 Perfect Marriages 37 Best Friends 49
OSKAR SCHNIPPERING What is Geocaching and How to do it
64-65
Young Bond (Preview) 66 KENDALL JONES Haters Gonna Hate 68
This document shall remain untitled
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CONTRIBUTORS In random order 75
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COLIN STABA CH
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SHE EPISH DUC K VOICE S
How do you feel about corn on the cob?
“I feel that it is
horrible, I hate
the idea!
HATE HATE.”
Gina Guromps –
Accountant
“52.”
Tilli Roberts –
Stagemaker
“Bananas!”
Ima Sandy
Beach –
Naturalist
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HANNA H HICKS- SAN TOS
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HANNA H HICKS- SAN TOS
The Square Chronicles
ne day, there was a square. His name was Paper.
He was made of brick. He was a very rich
gardener. He grew poison ivy, Venus flytraps,
and evil potatoes.
He is a wanted square in all 50 states. Except
Nebraska. Everyone loves him in Nebraska! That’s where
all the criminals live!
He thinks that triangles (goats) are evil. As do all his
friends (yeah, right! He’s a criminal. He doesn’t have
any).
“I smell fish!” he said one morning. “The stars (cops)
smell like fish!” he yelled nervously. And he scurried
inside the house.
O
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LIZA OBEL - OMIA
Ted & His Bread Machine #4, Part I
ne day, Ted was walking down the street
carrying his bread machine when he bumped
into a woman.
“Oh! Sorry,” the woman said. “I didn’t mean to. . .
Oh! Is that a bread machine made by the machine genius
of 1977?” she asked as her eyes got wide.
“Yes,” Ted said, looking down at his old machine.
“I’ll pay you $10,000 for it. There is only one left
and it is in Japan.”
Ted pulled the bread machine close and thought
of all the fun times. Like when he dropped it in the
swamp and when he almost burned it.
“I...can’t,” Ted stammered, “it’s too hard to part.”
“What!? You don’t understand, Mr...”
“Ted.”
“Mr. Ted. This is a wonderful offer. How about
$14,000?” the woman said, starting to pull money out of
her pocket.
“No thanks,” Ted said, and he walked away.
“I’ll get that bread machine. Even if I have to steal it.”
O
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Ted & His Bread Machine #4, Part II
ecently, Ted was offered $14,000 for his bread
machine, but he turned down the offer. The
woman, Ms. Steals, told herself that she would get
the bread machine anyway.
A week later, Ted was going for a walk while Ms.
Steals peered through binoculars and watched him walk
home.
“I’ve got you now, Ted,” she said.
That night, Ms. Steals tiptoed into Ted’s house
and looked for his bread machine. Ted heard something
move down-stairs, and he reached for his phone to call
Travis.
“Help, Travis. I think someone is downstairs,” he
said.
“I’m on my way,” said Travis.
A few minutes later, Travis was at the window.
He snuck inside.
“Get out of Ted’s house!” he cried.
Ms. Steals was so scared she thought it was a
ghost and she ran away.
She never came back, and Ted lived happily ever
after with his bread machine.
R
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Does anyone here like
Nebraska?
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LIZA OBEL - OMIA
Elevator Stories
#1
ipi Cricket opened her eyes from a long sleep. “Wake up! Groceries are to be bought, and you lay
in bed?”
A man spat. Pipi got up and got her purse. She lived
in a house where the sun poured in. It was a nice, big
apartment with two huge floors.
“Sorry, Harold, I…” Pipi began.
But the man yelled, “Come on!
Let’s go! That beef jerky won’t fly over
here, now go! I am your husband now,
aren’t I?” Harold glared at her.
Pipi nodded her head and stepped
out the door.
“Good bye,” she mumbled.
“Farewell.” Harold kissed her
cheek and pushed her out.
Pipi slowly walked to the elevator.
“Howdy!” said a man with a big smile. “I’m Frank,
the new button pusher.” Frank held out his hand. Pipi took it
promptly. “Where are you going?” he said.
“The store,” Pipi said.
P
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“What are you getting?”
Pipi was a little thrown back, a male asking her
about what she was up to. “Um…beef…beef jerky. F-f-for
my husband,” Pipi stammered.
“Cool. So how’s your day? Oh, here’s your stop. . .
Bye, umm—”
“Pipi,” Pipi said, still staring at him.
Pipi learned she liked talking to Frank, so she kept
finding excuses to go back to the elevator. “Oh, my nail
polish is out” or “We need more milk.”
By the end of two weeks, Pipi knew Frank’s favorite color,
animal, drink, his birthday, and his full name, and she knew
he collected snow globes, was trying to be a teacher, and
knew how to knit and sew! She also knew his age. They
were both surprised.
“You’re a year older than me,” Frank said. “But you
look so . . . so young,” Pipi laughed softly.
One morning, the sun was shining high. Pipi had
known Frank for almost a month now. Harold and Pipi
hadn’t been in the elevator together until that day.
“Get up, Pipi, Harold said. “I want to go for a stroll,
so dress up. I do not want to be seen with you if you look
like a mess.”
Pipi put on a spotted dress and a nice scarf and they
boarded the elevator.
“Hi Frank,” said Pipi.
“Don’t talk to that low-level loser,” Harold said.
“He is not a loser!” Pipi cried.
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“Shut up!” Harold was angry.
“I never should have married you!” Pipi said. “My
father was wrong. We will never love each other.”
Frank stood there awkwardly.
“You are a woman!” Harold said. “You don’t have
the right to talk to me like that!”
“She does have the right!” Frank said.
The men argued for a little bit more. Frank slammed
the buttons hard when the elevator opened, and then Pipi
shouted, “Stop! I don’t want to be with you, Harold.”
Harold walked away. “Good bye!” he shouted.
And Frank said, “Maybe let’s start fresh?”
“Probably!” said Pipi, smiling.
week later, Harold and Pipi were divorced, and
three years after that, Frank and Pipi were married
and had two children, Roger and Georgina.
#2
ina Mellville stepped onto the elevator at floor
two. Grana Pena shuffled in at floor four. Brina
Cana strode in on floor five.
Tina was the first to speak. “Howdy. How y’all
doing?”
“Fine, actually. Great and wonderful!” Brina said,
flipping her hair.
A
T
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Suddenly, the elevator—
“What’s going on?” Brina said.
“WHAT? WHAD YOU SAY? WHAT IS THE BOMB?”
Grana shouted, shaking.
“Bomb? Where!”
“We are stuck!”
“Calm down, y’all. Deep breaths,” Tina said.
“Well, just press this button…” Brina ran over and
pressed the button.
“Hello, Police Department here,” a voice crackled.
“Hi! Help! Please! We’re stuck and we’re going to
die!” Brina cried.
“WHAT? WE’RE GOING TO SAY GOODBYE? BYE!”
Grana yelled.
“Sorry kids. We got more important business.
We’ll be there in an hour or so.”
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Brina burst into tears. “Noooo, I’m ruining my
mascara and we’re stuck!”
“Calm down, hon, it’s ok. Don’t cry, this is just like
raining mud—bad at the time, but soon it will be gone,”
Tina said, putting her arm around Brina.
“Oh yeah, thanks! Mud and elevators are so much
alike.”
“Tellovators MUCH LIKE TIKES? WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING about?” Grana asked.
“Uggghhhh. Stop shouting lady,” Brina cried,
cuffing Grana’s ears.
“Let’s all calm down “Tina said.
Epilogue
They all finally got out. Brina ran as fast as her heels
carried her. Tina walked down to her mom at the library
and told her everything, while Grana shuffled home.
#3
ella Flinn walked quietly into an elevator. As she
was about to press 20, a tall handsome man ran
in.
“Sorry,” he said as he smiled at her, “Didn’t mean
to surprise you, or just jump in like that.”
The man, or Mark, looked at Bella for the first
time. She looked magnificent. He watched as she pressed
the button. As they rode up, they talked. Mark was very
funny and Bella loved his sense of humor, while mark
loved Bella for her gentle soul and her prettiness.
b
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When they arrived at floor 20, they hardly
wanted to separate. Bella pushed her hair back and
walked left to her friend Emily’s house, while mark
walked to his cousin.
“Maybe I’ll see you around here later,” Bella said.
“Uh, yeah, hopefully.” Mark knew he would
probably never see her again. He lived in the next state
with his mother, looking for a house. He was visiting his
cousin here to see if he wanted to move there. So far, it
was a big yes.
Bella told her friend Emily all about Mark. “I hope
and wish I can see him again,” she said, sighing.
Over a year later, Bella was still thinking about
Mark. They never saw each other again, and Bella and
Mark were both sad.
But one day, two years later, Mark moved into
Bella’s building. He was a little taller, but not by much.
Every day for a month, he watched the elevator looking
for Bella. One and a half months and a half a week later,
he saw her as he was returning from the grocery store.
“Bella?” he said.
“Mark?
Epilogue
Five years after (dating for little), Mark and Bella
married. They named their kids Ella and Victor and they
lived happily ever after.
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#4
evin Schmit was pretty rich. He lived in a big
house by himself with only a dog. Many
women knew this and tried to wed him, but all
were jerks who loved money.
Well, not all…
One day, Rosemary Rodriguez was on an elevator
going up to her little office working for a big company.
Kevin was thinking of merging the two companies.
Consequently, they boarded the elevator at the same
time. Rosemary pressed button 16 and Kevin pressed 22.
Immediately, he saw her beautifulness and kind eyes.
Her hair fell in front, over a beautiful face.
Kevin smiled at her. “Hello, my name is Kevin
Schmit,” he said, holding out his hand. Rosemary shook
Kevin’s hand and introduced herself. As they rode up not
much was said, but Kevin knew he wanted to see her
more.
Each day for the rest of the week Kevin would
ride up with Rosemary. At first he claimed it was an
accident, but by Thursday they both knew what was
going on.
It was a weekly thing. Kevin kept making more
business plans, and finally he got the companies to
merge. They made an addition and Kevin got an office on
floor 16.
After a month, Kevin and Rosemary started
dating, and after fights and many laughs the wedding
K
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bells sounded. Everything went happily. They had five
kids, Rosemary was promoted to assistant to her
husband, and they lived happily ever after.
The end.
Postscript
Their five kids are Zachary, Pipi, Penny, Emmy, and Tyler.
ILLUSTR ATIONS B Y ERI KA DOM INGUEZ
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EVAN STABAC H
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CLARA KUGLER
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ERIKA DOMIN GUEZ
The Sheepish Psychic Diary
M O N D A Y
Today someone came into my office. She was twelve-
years-old, and I could tell by her tone of voice that she
was a Libra, and since Mercury is in its fifth house, I
could tell that she would soon lose money, but get asked
to a dance very soon.
T U E S D A Y
Ahhhh! Be it not so, be it not so! I was simply looking
into my crystal ball, and I saw the whole state of
California being blown off the Earth. Poor Brad Pitt!
Luckily, I live in Delaware.
W E D N E S D A Y
I must have misinterpreted the signs. The inner eye does
not always make itself clear. Oops. I should not have
alerted the government.
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HANNA H HICKS- SAN TOS
Things I Would Sell If I Had a Store
Coat hangers that attack you if you do not give your hat or coat. (If you have one) :) Candy that explodes in your mouth. (Especially if you are eating Pop Rox) :) Very hungry bears in crates MUCH too small for them. Teapot phones. Look like teapots, act like teapots, but do NOT make tea. Fake Menus. Fool your friends and say you robbed a restaurant. Broken clocks. Fool your friends and say time has frozen.
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NINA POLUMB O
Pimple Problems #1
Illustrated by Erica Dominguez
Dear Doctor Zimple,
I have a large pimple on my nose. My mom told me to
name it. So I did. His name is Albert.
Love,
Odd-Ball Billy Bob
Dear Odd Ball,
Go to a psychiatrist!
Signed,
Doctor Zimple
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CLARA KUGLER
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EME SE BENZ IGER
The Alphabet is Very Boring
The Alphabet is very very boring. It has v
e r y many letters, but it is
b o r i n g, at least I think it is. Can people invent n e
w
letters?
Here’s one.
It is called flea. Pronounced the same.
I saw a on my mattress. Like t
h a t
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EMMA GER MAN O
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HANNA H HICKS- SAN TOS
Tomboy Scouts
he tomboy scouts are great! It’s for girls who
want to be in the boy scouts. You don’t sell
cookies, just go on camping trips! Other activities
include making s’mores, barbecues, hot dogs, bacon, tent
pitching, knots, and much, much more! Join now!
Email: [email protected]
Phone: TOM-BOY-SCUT Website: www.JoinTheTomboyScouts.com
T
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JAC KSON OB EL - OMIA
Official Post-Holiday Dictionary
a·rige /a-reesh ʹ/noun A gift from an especia l ly special fr iend. She waited al l year to receive an ar ige. dite·fw /dyte-
few ʹ/verb To dig a large hole . On Chris tmas I feel best when I ’m di tefwing.
erv /irvʹ/ noun One not possess ing a proper dreidl . My father was aghast when he learned that I’m an erv .
gib·bit /gibbʹ-it /noun A nine-candled menorah. Only one fami ly on my street owns a gibbit .
hee·py /heeʹ-pee/ adjective Getting Chris tmas feel ing after Chris tmas . Every t ime I go shopping I feel heepy.
lee·py /lee ʹ-pee / adject ive Gett ing Chris tmas spir i t in May .
Every spring, my son becomes leepy and demands we buy a Christmas tree.
mer·i l / mareʹ-ull / verb Become f looded on a hol iday. Before we opened our presents, the dam broke and our l iv ing room meri l led.
nacd /nay ʹ-s id /noun A bad paint ing . My parents gave me a nacd for Chris tmas .
o·li t ·ewz /oh- leet ʹ-use/ verb Sneak. “Did you olitewz snacks into the movie theater?”
o·voke /oh ʹ-voke/ noun A rot ten candy cane. I ate an ovoke forty years ago, and I haven’t had a candy cane s ince.
re·ach/ree-atch ʹ/noun A color that combines al l colors . I gave my mom reach pajamas.
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re·lu·ga /reh-looʹ-gah /noun A rotten piece of mist letoe . I t ’s bad luck to k iss below re luga .
t i ·dap /tee ʹ-dapp/noun A t idal wave in your house. Holidays at his house feel l ike a t idap.
t reb/treb ʹ /noun The future substat ion of England.Someday, England wil l have a treb and take over the wor ld . tweel/tweel/noun The f irs t bird seen after Chris tmas . We have a tweel-s ight ing party every December 26th. zenfp /zenfp!/noun A crazy elf with mental issues . “Stop calling me a zenfp!” said the crazy elf
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HANNA H HICKS- SAN TOS
Clothes I See On TV Shows
These are the clothes of Spongebob Squarepants™
Enjoy!
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This outfit is based on clothes I saw on the
Nickelodeon™ show, Victorious.
Enjoy!
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ERICA DOM INGUEZ
Beanie Review
he hottest trend of head covering today. No, they
aren’t yarmulkes! They’re beanies! Of course, not
all beanies are created equal—some look stupid,
and some don’t.
From a happy beanie owner: “I love my beanies, all six of
them! They are so perfect and lovely! Whenever I see
someone else wearing a beanie, I send them a knowing
look and a nod. Sometimes they glare at me, but that’s all
right, I love my beanies too much to care!”
EMMA GER MAN O
T
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EME SE BENZ IGER
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EME SE BENZ IGER
Perfect Marriages
Emalay the Princess & John the Farmer
NAME MEANINGS:
Emily: Clobberhead
William: What now?
If today is your birthday, here’s a horoscope!
Y o u w i l l b e h a p p y .
Y o u m a y h a v e a s t o m a c h a c h e
i n t h e n e a r f u t u r e .
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CLARA KUGLER
A Letter for My Grumpy Attorney
A-Ants- You keep telling me termites are eating my dresser.
I tell you, there are no ants in my pants!
B-Broccoli- I eat lots of broccoli. You should too.
C-Cat- You keep telling me that I have too many cats. I
have six and that’s it.
D-Ducks- You tell me feeding ducks is a waste of bread. It’s
a good cause!
E- Eggs- My chickens’ eggs are sanitary.
F-Fire- Turning lamps upside down is a fire hazard.
G-Goat- I give the goats my clothes, not let them eat them!
H-House- You say my house is run down, it’s not!
I- Igloo-I will not live in an igloo.
J- Jaguars- FYI! Jaguars are not smelly.
K- Kangaroos- Kangaroos are my favorite animals, thank
you very much.
L- Llama- I also like llamas.
M- Mammoth- Mammoths are interesting, not insulting.
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N- Nozzle- Like on a fire hose. Do you know?
O- Okapi- Do you know what an okapi is by the way?
P- Pizza- Would you like to go out for some pizza?
Q- Question- You’ve asked too many of these.
R- Russia- By the way Russia is the largest country in the
world.
S- Sri Lanka- Do you know how to pronounce Sri Lanka?
T- TV- I don’t watch much TV because it is boring.
U- Unforgettable- You are unforgettable!
V- Vacuum- Is your vacuum loud?
W- Whiz- I am a math whiz.
X- Xylophone- You should learn to play the xylophone.
Y- Yam- Do you like sweet potatoes? They are Yams.
Z- Zebra- My new zebra patterned coat is very fashionable.
Not so sincerely,
Ms. Information
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CLARA KUGLER
Grumpy Attorney Response
B- I do
C- That is too many
E- Never said they weren’t
F- I don’t!
G- Same thing
J- Must you bring that up?
M- Who said they were?
N- Yes
O- No
P- Can’t
Q- Now look who is talking
S- Dunno
T- SO
V- Sort of
W- Me too!
X- I play the Glockenspiel
Not yours truly,
Mr. Moring.
PS I’m moving to the Caribbean (I didn’t like Wales)
PPS I won’t send you my new address. Letters are too long.
Sorry.
M.M.
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EVAN STABAC H
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EVAN STABAC H
Food: Pig carcasses
Habitat: Mt. Everest
Natural defenses: Whip-like tail, smacking beak
Description: blue feathers, small white legs, platypus beak, gray
tuft. Does not fly, but it floats and can leap long distances
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EVAN STABAC H
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NINA POLUMB O
Dezat
nce upon a time there was a girl named Dezat. She
was from the planet Zitron, and her planet was in
jeopardy.
It all started on Jodo 72, 5601. Dezat went to the
supermarket when all of a sudden some kind of a spaceship
came hurdling to the ground.
Now, Dezat’s father told her not to go near the
spaceship, but of course Dezat disobeyed her father.
That night, Dezat snuck out of the house and went
into the spaceship! It was dark and scary inside, but Dezat
was not scared. She was looking at all the buttons when
suddenly the lights went on and the computer started
counting down: 5,4,3,2,1—
The next thing Dezat knew, she was flying in a
spaceship going to a planet she knew nothing of.
When Dezat saw that the ship had landed, she got
out of the ship and she saw a planet. The planet Earth.
To be continued…
O
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EVAN STABAC H
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COLIN STABA CH
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COLIN STABA CH
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EVAN STABAC H
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EME SE BENZ IGER
Best Friends
You cheer me up when I am sad,
You have never called me weird.
You try to make me feel not bad,
The best of friends is you and me.
So Happy Birthday, friend.
I admire you, and you admire me.
When you joke I am amused
Though they might not be funny.
So Happy Birthday, friend.
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DYL AN ING HAM
A Short Story
is breath came out in rapid gasps as he struggled
to stay at his abnormally fast pace. He had to get
to the base. He turned down 22nd street, and saw
part of the sanctuary up ahead. He felt a surge of
joy as he envisioned himself speeding through the gate just in
time before they got in. He was 30 meters away from the gate
when it started closing.
“No, no, no!” yelled the man. “Wait!”
But it was too late, the door was closing and it was
closing fast. The man knew there was no chance of him
making it to the door without endangering the rest of the
population. Instead, he made a different decision.
“Troops! Troops!” yelled the man desperately as he
tried to get some guards’ attention.
“The Scout! Let him in!” said one of the guards as
another went to reverse the gate’s movement.
“No! They’re after me and they’re too close. It’s… too
dangerous,” gasped the man as he stopped near the gate
which had just closed completely.
“Their base… it…. It’s at the Empire state Building!
They have… the plans. And they have… high- AUGHHH!” The
man couldn’t finish his sentence.
The group snarling and chomping reached the man
and tackled him with their many grotesque bodies while
viciously mauling him. He was dead in seconds.
H
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HANNA H HICKS- SAN TOS
The People That Complain About
Things Nobody Cares About
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ERICA DOM INGUEZ
10 Random Thoughts
My duck now wears socks.
A reflection is a reflection of a reflection.
You crouton!
Fuzz.
Agonize.
Silver.
Whimsical.
May they measure fields with your intestines.
I wish I had a beanie.
All right, Sheep, I’m ready when you are.
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ERICA DOM INGUEZ
In the Closet
he kid creeps me out. Every night after he gets
into his red footie pajamas, his dad reads him a
story. After that, the little boy asks the father to
check the closet for any monsters, so I have to hide in a
corner when the man briefly opens the door and assures
his son that no, there are no monsters in the closet.
Of course, being a monster stinks. I wish I had the
under-the-bed job instead. At least then I could shake
the bed if I get bored.
T
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ERICA DOM INGUEZ
The Secret Santa’s Dilemma
he problem is this: my office was FORCED (by
Corporate) to make secret Santa boxes for each
other. I, unfortunately, picked the name of the
man that I hate the most out of the entire office. My
BOSS! What’s more, we have to make something that
shows the positive traits of the person (a collage, poem,
song, etc.). I have been having trouble coming up with
any positive traits. NONE AT ALL! Why me? Here are
traits I can think of:
Jerk
Mean
Smart
Underpaying
Only one of these is positive! Why? Hmph.
T
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CLARA KUGLER
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CLARA KUGLER
What I See Outside a Night Window
A car A tree A light Some stars The moon
water rippling in the river I hear the wind the street a sneeze
inside people talking I smell rain and leaves
and flowers blooming
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EVAN STABAC H
The Mission Chronicles
The Jungle Plot: Chapter 1: The Video
E.P.F. Commander Earl Holde had been sitting in
his office when lieutenant Violet Monto burst through the
door.
“Wallace says there is a call coming from our new
recruit, Sam Starstreak in Brazil. Here’s the Epad drive for
the message,” Violet said, handing him the drive.
Earl plugged the drive into the portal on the Epad
and a video appeared on its screen.
Earl dialed up Wallace on his headset.
“Wallace, get an E-12 hovercraft with full supplies,
and my gun. The glove E-12, do you read me?”
“Loud and clear. I’ll see you at the port. Over and
out.”
A minute later, he climbed into the cockpit of the
hovercraft, booted up the controls, and took off.
“Commander, I have spotted a Black
Widow hideout near a river. I shall wait until you
arrive to investigate. Please come quickly, they
could be breaking various laws. This very
second. Over and out.”
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EMMA GER MAN O
A New Story
was young. Small and quiet. But I had to
learn to live. In a way, it was too soon. But it
also gave me a base for life.
I was not just six months of age when my
parents died. Some say they died of sickness. Others say
they worked themselves to death. But I think none of
these things are true.
They were murdered.
All I remember to this day was the scream of my
mother as I crawled to safety.
I was placed in an orphanage.
I hated it. Bad food, bad beds, not comfortable. I
hated it. So, I did what anyone would do. I ran away. Yes,
at age three. I was sick of being called short or small and
untalkative. So I ran away.
Far away.
To be continued.
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SPEED: As fast as a squirrel
NAME: Woncker
FAVORITE FOOD: butter
WEAPON: wooden pole and teeth
FRIENDS: Flying blobs
HOUSE: wooden box
HATES: witchcraft
COLIN STABA CH
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ZACHA RY OBEL - OMIA
The End of Life
oom! A zombie’s head fell off. I was with
my friend shooting zombies.
“Hey, what day is it?” I said.
“December 21.”
“Oh no. The world will end.”
A zombie came closer. BOOM! I hit him quickly and
reloaded. A zombie grabbed my shotgun and another
one grabbed my friends and snapped them on its teeth
and swallowed.
A man with a sword cut them off. Then a small man
with a big brain in a huge robot came over and made
more strong zombies.
“Hello,” I said in a shaky voice. “I’m David and my
friend is Jared.”
“No Jared!”
“Yes,” Jared said.
“What are you doing?”
Jared sacrificed himself to the zombies, then
transformed into a zombie. The giant robot grabbed me
and chucked me. The man with a sword then killed many
zombies. I was too sad to fight. Then the man inside the
robot grabbed and ate me, and I transformed into a
zombie. My skin color changed to dark green. I had many
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bumps on me, and my teeth were rotten colors, like
brown and yellow. I could feel my brain getting smaller. I
still had some, but I could only remember today.
Then more men with swords and guns came shooting
down the zombies. A dancing man turned into a zombie,
then a football, and then a skateboarder. The man inside
the robot made the zombies stronger. The dancing
zombie grabbed people, danced with them, then made
their moves. The football zombies threw them around,
playing football with them, as zombies and the
skateboarders went up ramps, slammed the humans
down, and turned them into zombies.
There was one old man with elemental power.
Zombies crowded him, and then they flew away. More
will come next year. And that is why people think it is
the end of the world once a year.
Sometimes it takes longer.
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JAC KSON OB EL - OMIA
Mushroom End
Prologue
ix years ago. If you found this, that is what you need
to know. I’m 21-years-old writing this. The year now
is 1338. It was 1332 when it happened. I really hope
someone finds this journal, because if they do then
everyone isn’t dead. Also, please bury my skellington if it’s not
already infected. Well, anyways, on with the story. Oh, and at
the end there is something I wish for you to do. Good luck.
Chapter 1: Plotting
looked outside at the dark night. I hadn’t been sleeping
all night. Out the window I could just see them, a deadly
wave of fungi, like an army slowly moving across the
town. But soldiers couldn’t destroy this force.
My mom and brother had already caught the deadly
plague. My dad was about to lead a force of eight to the royal
kingdom. They hadn’t gotten news, probably because the
kingdom died. All but one had died.
Each day, the mushrooms moved closer. After hours,
awake in bed, I finally fell asleep. I woke up to my sister
yelling to me. “Wake up, Henry! We have to go to work early,
because dad left.”
“Coming,” I yelled back.
S
I
63
We worked at a mill and granary making food for the
village. We used to work from 9:00 – 3:00 at the most, and it
would earn us almost a decent living along with my dad’s
income. But now that dad was also almost dead, it was just us,
so we had to work from 6:00 in the morning until 5:00 at
night.
As we walked to the mill, we saw four priests, heads
down, with crosses on their shirts. They carried a coffin and
were followed by a trumpet player playing taps.
“Something must be done about that plague,” said my
sister.
“If only we could work our way to the kingdom,” I said.
“Well, there’s nothing we personally can do about it.”
“We could try,” I said. “In fact, I figured out a way to go. No
one has tried yet. Think about it. If we saved the town we
could become legends. We’d never have to step foot in the mill
for the rest of our lives.”
“Yeah, we won’t step anywhere when we’re six feet under
ground in a coffin,” my sister said.
“What about the catacombs?”
“You must be kidding,” said my sister. “That place hasn’t
been used for over fifty years. The ceiling could cave in any
day, and some rumors speak of strange monsters that nest
down there.”
“Maybe, but it’s worth a shot. I mean, if we fail we can say
we died for a good cause.” I was pretty sure I couldn’t
convince my sister, and I knew she couldn’t stop me. But I
knew she was right about one thing. I was completely
unarmed. But I knew exactly how to change that.
Stay tuned for Chapter 2.
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OSKAR SC HNIPPERING
WHAT IS GEOCACHING AND HOW TO DO IT
ou may have heard about someone talking about
geocaching. Geocaching is a global treasure hunt.
Geocaches are hidden all over the globe in various
spots. For example, a geocache may be hidden under a
park bench in a magnetic key hider; these caches are hidden
by people everywhere.
To participate, you may need a GPS or a smart phone that
has a GPS. If your phone is by apple and you are using the
apple OS, you might find a geocaching app in the app store.
Normally there are multiple things that show up for your
search results. The top two results are one for free and
another for $26.99. First, get the one for
Free, and then use the paid version if you decide that
geocaching is something that you enjoy. If you have an
android phone, do the same things in the Android app store.
When you find a good day to go geocaching, go into the
app or the website (www.geocaching.com) and type your ZIP
code or your address. The site will automatically find caches
near you. The app will do this, too. The website will not guide
you, but will only give you coordinates for the location of the
cache. For military reasons, the coordinates are not exact.
Some geocaches contain treasure, or SWAG [Stuff We All
Get]. It is unethical to take SWAG if you do not bring
something of equal of greater value to leave in its place.
Y
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Chart your find at www.geocaching.com (you will need an
account), which is super easy. After you have replaced the
cache you can go home and plan for your next day of
geocaching.
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OSKAR SC HNIPPERING
Young Bond
young boy sprinted out of the butcher shop. He
wore a small hat and tattered clothes. As he ran
by, if you looked closely, you might be able to see
a small tattoo inked into the boy’s wrist. And maybe, just
maybe, you could see the numbers that would forever be
implanted in his wrist: MI6.
Yes, this boy worked for the British Intelligence
Agency, but it would be foolish to call him a boy. A more
realistic term would be “weapon.”
Chapter One
James Bond was the son of Reynold Bond, a factory
worker in Liverpool. Reynold worked hard to support
his infant son. Although the single parent took every
shift he could, James and his father remained poor.
End of free excerpt.
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EMMA GER MAN O
68
KEN DALL JON ES
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KEN DALL JON ES
This document shall remain untitled.
LISTEN TO THE WALRUS I am The Walrus. I like pickles. Never put anything in writing unless you’re gonna burn it really soon. QUIZ IS COMPLETELY MANDATORY by The Walrus Name________________________________________________________________ 1. Finish this sentence: ____________________ ____________________ soccer. 2. Oil is slippery and you are made of cheese such as the moon is. __ yesh __ nope 3. When your teachers are like, “Do yur work” and you’re like, “not gonna happen.” ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. TOMAAAAHTOE! __ what? __ YURP. __ go see a psychiatrist.
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NINA POLUMB O
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HANNA H HICKS- SAN TOS
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a m a z i n g s t u f f t o b u y ! !
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ERICA DOM INGUEZ
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Thank you for reading Sheepish Duck.
Contact:
401-247-1920 x6
If you see any fancy drop caps they were designed
by Jessica Hische
www.dailydropcap.com
Barrington Public Library
281 County Road
Barrington, Rhode Island
02806
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C O N T R I B U T O R S
I N R A N D O M O R D E R
Erica Dominguez is a 12-year-old, slightly odd vegan art chick. Besides riding horses and watching I Love Lucy, she can be found writing, drawing, playing her trumpet, and eating tempeh (though not all at the same time). She wishes to learn how to lucid dream and not burn toast. Jackson Obel-Omia likes to read and write. He swims and plays basketball. He also runs cross country. He is 13. Emma Germano writes and draws and wants to be a teacher. Emese Benziger loves poems, books and paper. Kendall Jones is in 7th grade. She likes porcupines, sharp objects, and matches. Do not approach when she’s hungry. Zachary Obel-Omia is a passionate actor, a hard worker, a cat lover and a video game player. Evan Stabach is in 6th grade. He is adventurous and fast, and
he likes skiing, swimming, and stories. Clara Kugler is in 4th grade and her favorite color is blue. Her favorite animal is the giraffe.
Colin Stabach is in 4th grade and likes owls. Liza Obel-Omia is a singer, a writer, a dancer, a reader, a swimmer, a happy-bringer and a rubber duck collector. Dylan Paul Ingham is in 6th grade and likes to do many things, including eat, play, draw, think, and of course write. Nina Palumbo loves dogs and people who are funny. But this is going to be short because she just got a manicure. Overall, Nina Polumbo is half girly girl, half tomboy. Hannah Santos loves bacon and trips to the beach. She is 11 and can often be found—anywhere! When you find her, she may be drawing, writing, or goofing off. Do not be surprised. Oskar Schnippering is an avid computer geek who will gladly perform reparation on almost any electronic device for free (for now). He has high hopes of becoming an astronaut and
putting his love of robotics to work. His hobbies include bak-ing, biking, pottery, reading, science and robotics. Born in Germany, Oskar has lived in Germany, Switzerland, and the USA. He is bilingual.
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