The Psychology Behind Romantic Relationships

Kelly MathesonJuly 27, 2009

Main Topics

1. How people become attracted to other people

2. Some of the different relationships there are and what makes couples stay together

3. The process of breaking up and the psychological affects

1. Attraction

Proximity Effect: the more we meet and interact withpeople, the more likely we are to become friends with them.

Similarity:

Birds of a feather flocktogether

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Opposites attract

Reciprocal Liking: knowing someone likes us fuels our attraction and can even make up for the absence of similarity

But above proximity, similarity, and reciprocal liking is …

Physical Attractiveness

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Men tend to go for youth and attractiveness (signs of fertility)

Women tend to go for men ofstatus and wealth (resourcesfor offspring); physical attractiveness weighs less

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Attractive Faces

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Both sexes prefer feminine faces

-Large eyes-Slender nose-Slim face-High cheek bones-Less eyebrow hair

http://www.unl.edu/rhames/courses/male_facial_beauty.htm

2. Relationships

Secure Attachment Style: maintain high levels of commitment, satisfaction, and trust, and low levels of cost over time

Handbook of Interpersonal Commitment and Relationship Stability by Jeffery M. Adams, Warren H. Jones, 1999, (114)

Avoidant Attachment Style: have high thresholds for falling in love and making commitments; even when they are in a romantic relationship, they tend to maintain a distance

Anxious Attachment Style: have a low threshold for creating romantic relationships and making commitments; appear to form emotional bonds very quickly

0.00%

10.00%

20.00%

30.00%

40.00%

50.00%

60.00%

Secure Avoidant Anxious

Report Never Having Been in Love

Currently Not in Love

Handbook of Interpersonal Commitment and Relationship Stability by Jeffrey M. Adams, Warren H. Jones, 1999, (114).

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Companionate Love

Cultures practicing arranged marriages (usually collectivist societies) tend to have family-based marriages.

Western cultures tend to focusmore on the individual and thepursuit of romantic love.

Arranged Marriages

Abusive Relationships

Gay Relationships

3. Breaking Up