tool #13 magic words that change negative to positive employee success toolkit copyright harriet...

Tool #13

Magic Words that Change Negative to Positive

Employee Success Toolkit

Copyright Harriet Meyerson 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com


© Harriet Meyerson, 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com

Some Everyday Words Can Be Detrimental

How often do you think about the meanings of the words that you use every day? Do you just say what flows naturally from your

mouth?

Some common words may actually create negative relationships with your co-workers, managers and customers.



PROBLEMS Become SITUATIONS

Instead of saying, “I have a difficult problem at work.”,

try saying, “I have a difficult situation at work.”

A problem seems like it will always be there.

A situation seems temporary and solvable.



ALWAYS and NEVER Become OFTEN and SELDOM

“Always” and “Never” are negative words.

They are rarely true and exaggerate a situation.

They are usually used to criticize. People feel blamed and

attacked. They become defensive. They may focus on your

exaggeration and ignore your message.



Become Positive by Using OFTEN and SELDOM

Negative:“You never help me with the filing. You always leave the charts for me to file.”

Positive: “Since you seldom seem to have time to help me file the charts, I often have to stay late. Can we work out a plan to share the filing?”



SHOULD HAVE Becomes COULD HAVE

Using “should have” creates condemnation and guilt for something that has already been done and cannot be changed.“You should have worked on that report first.”

The words “could have” don’t condemn, they imply choice, allowing the experience to become a lesson.“You could have worked on that report first and saved the filing for later.”



BAD Becomes UNWISE

“Bad” is a judgment of a person’s character and causes resentment.“It was a bad idea to take time off when we had a deadline to meet.”

“Unwise” refers to the natural consequences of the person’s actions and doesn’t judge their character.“It wasn’t very wise to take time off when we had a deadline to meet. Everyone was stressed by having to do more than their share.”



FAULTS Become DIFFERENCES

Using the word, “faults”, is judging someone’s actions as right or wrong.“One of my co-worker’s faults is that her desk is always a mess.”

Using the word, “differences” , removes the critical tone because you are pointing out how you are different, not that one person is right or wrong.“One of the differences between us is that her desk is cluttered while I like everything put away.”



MISTAKES Become VALUABLE LESSONS

Using the word, “mistakes”, makes others feel ashamed and stifles creativity.“You made a mistake.”

Using the words, “valuable lessons”, gives others something positive to do - to learn from their actions.“There is a valuable lesson in what you did. What did you learn from it?”



MUST Becomes PREFER

Using the word, “must”, adds stress to your life.“I must finish everything on my task list by 5 PM.”

Using the word, “prefer” , doesn’t add stress and is more realistic.“I would prefer to finish everything on my task list by 5 PM, but if I don’t, I’m still making progress.”



PLEASE Becomes WOULD YOU PLEASE

Even if you are trying to sound pleasant, the word “please” can sound like a demand.“Please have this completed by 3PM.”

Using the words, “would you please”, softens your request because it gives a person a choice, and you are more likely to get cooperation without resentment.“Would you please have this completed by 3 PM?”



Magic Actions

In addition to using magic words, there are magic actions you can take to create a more positive workplace.1. Smile - it’s the international

language that brings happiness to others.

2. Show appreciation to your co-workers, and offer to help when necessary.

3. Bring in cookies or other goodies.4. Post cartoons and inspiring quotes

on the bulletin board.



Watch Your Tone of Voice

Avoid using a critical tone of voice or sarcasm. It will cancel out the positive words that you

are using.

If you are upset about something, use positive words to explain the situation in a calm and reasonable tone of voice.



Body Language Speaks Louder than Words

Your body language should reflect your words, or you may be sending mixed messages.

People will believe your body language more than your words.



Be a Role Model

By keeping a positive outlook, and using positive words, you can be a positive role model for others.

If you are persistent, others will get on the positive band-wagon with you.

It only takes one person to start making a difference.


Copyright Harriet Meyerson 2008 • www.ConfidenceCenter.com

Quiz & Discussion Questions



Question 1

What are some situations where you might run into problems using negative words?



Question 2

What are some words you can use to get cooperation from co-workers without creating resentment?



Question 3

What are the consequences to using the words “always” and “never”?



Question 4

What word, when used towards a co-worker, implies judgment of a person’s character?



Question 5

What are three other things you can do to change a negative work environment into a positive one?



Set Your Goals

What are your three main goals to change negative into positive?

tool #13 magic words that change negative to positive employee success toolkit copyright harriet...

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negative words

magic words

positive harriet meyerson

everyday words

common words

negative relationships

coworkers faults

difficult situation