t h e R E C O R D

INSIDE ● Abelard’s Death Pg. 2 ● Lunches Pg. 2 ● ● Mountain Lion review Pg. 6 ● Tv Shows Pg. 9

VOL XLIII ● Issue 3 ● Friday, September 14, 2012

THE RECORD WEEKLY

T h e O f f i c i a l S t u dent Newspaper of Saint L

ouis

Prio

r y S

i nc e 1 9 8 2

FOOTBALL

PRIORY’S NEW MENUGeneral Consensus: Lunch Is Awesome!

STUCO UPDATEA message from our President

AN INTERVIEW WITH THE HEADMASTERVanBree goes one on one with the Headmaster Himself

Priory Builds Up Steam, Gets Back Into The GrooveThe Rebels Struck Down, But Return Stonger Than Ever

Volume XLIII, Issue 1

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NewsThe Record StaffEditor in Chief:

Layout Editor:

Content Editor:

Editor at Large:

Faculty Moderator:

Peter J. Cogan

Jack M. Mueller

Patrick C.Lindmark

Thomas S. Burton

Chris W. Bailes

The Record DisclaimerThe Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory commu-nity, including students, faculty, and alumni.The Record will not publish con-tent considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the edu-cational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editorsare always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

On the first day of school, I walked in to the Headmas-

ter’s office to greet Fr. Michael. But when I walked in, I found a remarkably tidy office and a strange new man sitting behind the desk. I was informed that this man was Fr. Linus, our new head-master. Since I didn’t remember electing him as Headmaster, I was very worried. “What if he is evil?” “What if he intends to eliminate all fun and joy from Priory?” “What if he doesn’t throw out Starbursts!?” I was de-termined to get to the bottom of things and find out who this “Fr. Linus” really was. I sat down with him last Friday and did just that!

Me: So first off, what gives!? Where are the Starbursts?Fr. Linus: Well, throwing Star-bursts isn’t really my cup of tea.M: O… So it’s not because you don’t like us, you just don’t like throwing Starbursts?L: Right. It also creates litter in the halls. Maybe there will be another kind of treat.M: Alright, I guess that’s accept-able. Now you are Priory’s new headmaster, correct?L: Correct.M: And how did you become Headmaster? Did you best the other monks in hand-to-hand combat?

L: No. It was months of cam-paigning. Actually, I was “appointed” as they say. I didn’t seek out the job. There was some give-and-take negotiation for well over a few months and in the end the abbot and I agreed this would be a good thing. I’m happy to do it, but we did have to make sure we were both thinking on the same wavelength so to speak.M: And on that note, why do you think Fr. Abbot chose you and not say… Fr. Augustine or Mr. Schake. L: Mr. Schake is about to retire! And Fr. Augustine: I am a bit older than him and I have some more background in the school scene. So maybe it’s an experi-ence factor. However, he beats me on the popularity factor. With Fr. Augustine, it would be a snow day every day!M: I just want to clarify this be-cause I’m a bit confused. I heard some seniors say that they run the school. So just to be clear, do you run the school or do seniors run the school? L: We run the school together. M: Ok so it’s like a co-running thing! L: Well, it isn’t “co” as in “equal!” But the upper-classmen definitely set a tone and have a position of leadership amongst the student

body. It is very much their school. I certainly recognize their place in the school and I encourage the stu-dents to come to me with any ideas or issues. And I actually think pretty highly of the senior class. M: So you’ve got the first week under your belt. How has it been? Is it what you expected?L: No. It seems like every day there’s a surprise. Unplanned things happen. I like to plan ev-erything and know exactly what’s going to happen every day and it’s just not like that in this office. Not a day goes by when some-one doesn’t walk in my door and deliver a surprise. Sometimes it’s a welcome surprise but usu-ally it’s not. Sometimes it means there’s a problem to solve. And that wrecks your whole day be-cause you had things planned. This weekly summary was sup-posed to be done yesterday at midday and it’s still not done. M: You said being Head-master is not an easy job, so what kind of training did you do to assume the position?L: Good question. I took judo lessons. I did go to a workshop this sum-mer meant for new headmasters of small schools. I also inter-viewed a former colleague who has been a headmaster for years. I got a whole lot of good advice

An Interview with the HeadmasterBy Mitch Van Bree ‘13

LUNCHSoft TacoSpanish RiceFresh Corn

Philly Steak SandwichCold Slaw

Buffalo Chicken PitaWild Rice or Lentils

ChiliCorn Bread

FishChipsSteamed mixed vegetable

10 11 12 13 14

1718 19

20 21Baked Mostacolli w/ Meat SauceSteamed Broccoli

Memphis BBQ Turkey-SandwichCole Slaw

Flame Grilled Chicken FilletWild RiceSteamed Green Beans

Flame Grilled HamburgersFriesSteamed Broccoli

Cheese LasagnaSteamed Carrots

News

2 submit your article to theprioryrecord@gmail.com

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News

3Remember to come in @ 8:05 on Thursday for STUCO donuts!

and insight. I’ve been following that advice and some things work pretty well and some don’t. But I think all things considered, it’s been a good start. M: So they actually have a “New Small School Headmaster” seminar? L: O yes! With a whole notebook with articles and everything! Whenever the instructor was boring I would just read the ar-ticles and when he started talking about something interesting, I would listen. It was just like you guys do. M: So when they were talking about how to deal with girls, you’d just flip open the notebook? L: yes, exactly. M: Now I know you said that it’s a tough job, but what are the perks? L: This big, giant office. Also, I get to set my own deadlines. Plus, I have a budget! That’s’ kind of nice. I can spend money after all these years. M: You have a “Headmaster Budget?”L: Exactly. That’s actually what it’s called. I bought these prints. They’re very surreal. Some people like them, some people don’t. It turns out Mrs. Schafer doesn’t think they’re real art. She wants to put them way in a cor-ner where nobody can see them. However, I find them to be fun to look at. M: Has Doc looked at them?L: He hasn’t been in here yet but I’m sure he’ll be by at some point.M: I’m sure he’ll give you an opinion.L: I bet he’s a harsh critic.M: He is. You’ve been spending all this time preparing to be headmas-ter. Do you even remember the atomic weight of ammonium?!L: I do! It’s 18. M: I have no idea what it is. I’ll verify later.

L: Do you remember the charge on the ammonium ion?M: …Plus 1. L: very nice! M: That was not a guess.M: Now that you’re the boss of everybody, who do you enjoy bossing around the most?L: I don’t really think of it that way.M: It’s Mr. Finan, isn’t it?L: I don’t know. He’s a lot bigger than I am so I have to go easy there. It’s true that some people need to be bossed around but I’m not sure I get a thrill out of it. It can be kind of unpleasant. M: You mean you don’t like to throw the hammer down!? L: I like to throw the hammer down when it comes to establish-ing policy. And then I expect people to follow through with it, but that’s where I’m running into problems. M: I’m glad you mentioned that because I’ve overheard people complaining about policy changes. Personally, I haven’t noticed a thing. Did you change something?L: Yes. M: I heard some kids complain-ing about wearing their blazers all day.L: It makes you guys look really sharp if you’re actually wearing the coat and tie. Also, people were using the lost and found as a wardrobe. It was kind of ridicu-lous! It’s actually the norm that you wear coat and tie every day at most prestigious private schools in the country. For someone on the outside, we could look pretty raggedy sometimes. So I figure if it’s a coat and tie day, let’s just wear the coat and tie and look good. M: Also, athletes can no longer wear jerseys on gamedays? L: Right. If you can keep what you do in the classroom in the

classroom and what you do on the ball field on the ball field then you have the right frame of mind. That way when you’re in class, you aren’t thinking “I really want to be playing soccer right now.” And it’s not just you it’s your classmates, because they’re seeing the jersey. On the ball field you don’t dress like you’re in the class-room. So it really works both ways. And I do understand it’s really supposed to be a recogni-tion thing. My recommendation is for the teams to wear coat and tie if they want recognition. It’s like the pros. They’re required to travel in coat and tie. That way they look like gentlemen and not a bunch of ruffians. M: I know this one only affects the seniors, is the “facial hair after Christmas” policy still in effect?L: It is not. But if guys want to come and talk to me about it, they should. I’ll consider it. Actually, Sam Bruns wrote me an email before school started. He pretended that he didn’t he didn’t know what the facial hair policy was. It was kind of funny. So I forwarded it to Mr. Finan and said, “you can answer this one.” M: Another big change is the elimination of the clubs pe-riod and the Tutoria time being moved to Tuesday morning. L: That’s a partial truth. It’s true that club period in the middle of the morning is gone, but I just shifted it back to how it was before the club period was introduced. Clubs can meet on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday X-periods. So in fact, clubs meet 3 days a week now. But the old club period was right smack-dab in the middle of the morning, which is when we’re supposed to be most productive. It seemed foolish to me. We’re supposed to have our number one priority be academics but we were stopping

in the middle of the morning to play. In addition, so many kids wanted to do study halls last year, that I couldn’t find enough teachers to proctor them all. The system wasn’t working well so I thought, “let’s just start over.” I will probably bring back some sort of club period but it won’t be in the middle of the morning. I’m working with the faculty to smooth out a new clubs plan. M: Last one, the teachers are all in coat and tie. L: That’s just so they look really professional. You guys know how serious and dedicated the faculty are, but we get a whole lot of visi-tors to this school (especially pro-spective students and their fami-lies) and we want to leave a good impression. In some parts of our society, the teaching profession isn’t looked upon that highly. It’s sometimes viewed as second-rate. But really good teachers are really true professionals. It isn’t easy to be a good teacher. I want the faculty to really look the part and make a good impression. I think the faculty are doing a very nice job with it. M: That’s a good point, but I have one issue with that policy. Basi-cally you’ve raised the bar for all the teachers, but Mr. Heerlein al-ready dressed like that! Shouldn’t you make him wear a tuxedo every day or something? L: You know, he is into music! Maybe he should dress up like a conductor in coat and tails. We should have him bring a top hat too. M: A monocle. L: O yes!M: Ok good. I just want to make sure it’s fair to all the other teach-ers. Because he didn’t have to change anything!Back to the topic at hand: so you’re telling me that contrary to popular belief, these changes

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4 JS Mixer Oct. 5 7:00-9:30 tickets $10 on sale soon!

weren’t just because you didn’t want us to have any fun?L: Correct. I’m all for having fun at the right time and place. M: All right, so you are the head honcho and I’m sure you want to leave your mark in the history books. How do you want to be remembered when you are no longer “Priory Headmaster?” What do you hope to accom-plish?L: Basically, I would say that I want this administration to be remembered for simply keep-ing the school on course with its mission. M: What’s the best part of being headmaster?

L: It is kind of fun to be able to mill around the hallways without looking like you’re goofing off. It is important that I be around and stay in touch with people. But it’s nice to be able to just “be” in the halls. When I was teaching, if I was lingering in the hall, I wasn’t doing my job because I had to be somewhere. M: I have 3 more questions for you. I think the Priory students deserve to know the truth!What’s your favorite popsicle flavor!?L: OrangeM: Is mayonnaise an instru-ment!?L: No

M: If bacon ran for president, would you vote for it!?L: I kind of like bacon… is bacon running?M: Unfortunately not. But if it was running, would you vote for it!? L: I don’t know. Are we talking about the real pork bacon?M: Of course. L: The fried, crispy kind or the soft, gushy kind?M: Which kind do you like?L: I like it crispy.M: Then the crispiest bacon you can get! We can even candy it if you like.L: Ew no that’s gross!M: Then we’re not gonna candy

it. Would you vote for crispy bacon!?L: I would say on the local level I’d vote for it. Probably not on the national level.M: Would you vote for Canadian bacon on the national level?L: Hmm… I don’t think I’d vote for any kind of bacon on the national level.M: Ok well Canadian bacon isn’t even eligible for U.S. presidency anyway so that’s a non-issue. Anything else you want to add?L: No I think that was actually a very good question set.

Obituary: Abalard the MagnificentBy Thomas Burton ‘13

As some of you may know, a terrible tragedy struck the

Priory community just two short weeks ago. A priory icon, Abalard the Swan, has passed away. This magnificent creature was mauled by a coyote, but I assure you, Ab-alard held his own in the fight. In the end, the coyote emerged vic-torious, signifying the first time Abalard failed to ward off one of his numerous past attackers. Eyewitnesses have stated that the swan has vanquished mighty op-ponents such as bears, ligers, and

even a dragon in the recent past. Needless to say, his loss has stricken the Priory commu-nity with distress. Said Senior Dan Jacob, choking back tears, “I didn’t know he died. I just thought he was taken somewhere else.” STUCO President Andrew Fogarty also expressed his dis-may. Fogarty called this “a very sad event” and expressed how much former headmaster Fa-ther Michael cared for the swan. His funeral will be held at the Payless Shoe Source in Kirkwood

tonight at 11:30. Please stop by and pay your re-spects to this swan who touched all of our hearts so deeply.

Student Council UpdateBy President Andrew Fogarty ‘13

The first weeks have been very eventful for STUCO. Lately,

we have been working hard at both Rebel Roundup, and the 7th grade orientation scavenger hunt. Over the summer, we also helped purchase new chairs in the library. In addition to our hard work, we have made some very important decisions at our meetings. This

year, we will be buying snow cone and popcorn machines for our concession stands. In addition, we have made the decision to take more requests at mixers, so junior schoolers! We will do our best to play the songs you write on the request sheet (within reason). This can be done because we are switching to an internet library to

play our music instead of iTunes. In other news, the homecoming logo contest ends today! So stay tuned to find out what the logo will be. I have heard some great ideas and can’t wait for you guys to see it. This week, I apologize for not posting the agenda on the board in advance, we will be us-ing our entire meeting to choose

the homecoming logo. Our up-coming events include the first scheduled home football game this Saturday, the October 5th Junior School Mixer, and Spirit Week October 8th through 12th.

Sports

News Sports

Hey there Rebel Faithful. The football squad has been busy

growing and training, taking hits and giving more. The past two weeks are a story of success and defeat. On August 25, the Rebels took on Alton Marquette at their stadium, The drive over was long but the Rebels hit the field with as much veracity and fearsomeness as the South hit the North (no political rebuttal please, it is our mascot’s namesake). The game started out with a score by the Al-ton Explorers which in no way set back the rebels. Offense came out and rammed it up the gut Rebel style with a QB run David Nogal-ski to even up the score. Defense came out and did their job the first half holding the explorers to 13 points. In the third quarter #4 Ford had a 68 yard run 2 min-

utes in. Raybuck answered with a 14 yard run and the conversion from a fire pass from Sophomore John Agnew to junior linebacker Gussie Busch with 2 minutes left. The Rebels entered the fourth with a 28-20 lead on the Explorers. The small rostered Explorers (34 on the roster) decided to pull out one more bag of tricks on the Rebels. The Power-I formation that final-ly broke the defense. #4 went on to the number one rushing yard leader in the state after the game because of his 5 fourth quarter TD’s. Raybuck scored with under a minute to go in the game but to no avail, the Explorers went on to score again with 34 seconds. The game ended 55-35. RUSHING-Priory, Nogalski 16-41, Raybuck 17-74, Boyce 2-14. PASSING-Priory, Nogalski 21-30-0-277.

RECEIVING-Priory, Rhodes 4-89, Raybuck 3-6, Watson 7-70, Fortmann 3-30, O’Brien 1-27, Walburn 2-44, Esparrago 1-11.The Rebels had a long ride home to do a gut check. Would this be

how their inaugural year in Class 4A football would trend? NO! The Rebels were in the weight room all week, had a strong week of practice and came out ready to exact revenge on Lutheran

At last it is finally Septem-ber—school is swinging into

session, the weather is beginning to get cooler, and most impor-tantly, September signifies the beginning of fantasy football sea-son. Fantasy football, for those of you not familiar with the game, is a usually online based game where people pick NFL players and get re-warded with points based on how well these players do in the actual games. While knowledge of the NFL obviously helps, any-one can play fantasy football and have a realistic shot at winning. Although most people have already completed their

draft, I am about to share with you some players whom I would target or avoid on draft day. This column can also be beneficial to those of you who have already drafted. The players listed are guys who I would trade for (or

away). And if you already have several of the players on my list, then give yourself a pat on the back, because you’re well on the way to winning your league.

StudsDemaryius Thomas and Eric Decker, WR, Denver Broncos

For a decade, wide receivers Mar-vin Harrison and Reggie Wayne repeatedly had 1000 yard seasons in Indianapolis while catching balls from Peyton Manning. Al-though Manning, now with the Broncos, is recovering from sur-

gery, he is still Peyton Manning. Thomas and Decker seem to be the two main beneficiaries from Peyton’s move to Denver, and both will have breakout years in 2012.

Shonn Greene, RB New York JetsFirstly, let me clarify something: Shonn Greene is a terrible foot-

ball player. However, the Jets will be forced to run the ball a lot this year since Mark Sanchez is their quarterback. With no other good running backs to threaten him for carries, look for Greene to be-come a steal as a late round pick

and become a top 20 running back.

Percy Har-vin, WR, Minnesota VikingsAdrian Peterson and Harvin are the Vikings’ only two offensive players who are not completely inept; and with Peterson ham-pered with an ACL injury, the Vikings will be looking Har-vin’s way. A lot. Harvin’s speed and versatility will allow him to

Ready To Play Fantasy Football?By Thomas Burton ‘13

Football Recap, Priory Looks To Oust BombersBy Jack Mueller ‘13

Continued Back Page

5Football @ John Burroughs Today @ 4:30pm

“Never draft a kicker before the last round. Ever.”

Continued Page 6

Sports

Soccer ST. dominic Tournament vs. Ft. Zumwalt West Tomorrow @ 2:00

catch 90-100 passes this year, as well as occasionally run-ning the ball from the backfield.

Duds-Kickers-Robert Griffin III, QB, Washing-ton Redskins- Just because RGIII is fast, people are hailing him as the next Cam Newton: a rookie,

dual-threat quarterback sensa-tion. However, people do not realize that Griffin isn’t a particu-larly skilled runner, as his college stats for Baylor will show. Griffin is simply a pocket passer who hap-

pens to be fast. RG3 will strug-gle mightily this year, as rookie quarterbacks almost always do.

The first day of school never fails to produce a litany of

surprises and challenges, and this year was no different, as the class of ‘13, scientifically proven the greatest in Priory history, occu-pied the central circle with their beach chairs and stereos in tow. The last bells could be greeted with relief by most as the tempo-rary end of the day’s tribulations, yet for the members of the elite band of athletes known as the Running Rebels, the day’s work had hardly begun, as they de-scended upon Quail Ridge Park in Wentzville to take on their first cross country meet of the season. The weather was hot and humid, yet the JV runners took their starting box unfazed. The gun went off, sending the teams off onto a very flat, fast 2 mile course. Freshman Alex Lowell led the team, with fellow classmate Jake Drysdale close behind and soph-omore William Whaley follow-ing. Seniors Tommy Weissert and Charlie Welsh were packed right behind them by the mile mark. Pressing through the field, the JV’s top runners made their moves, as Drysdale caught and passed Lowell to move into 10th, while Charlie began to pass other run-ners in droves. Drysdale finished strong in 11th, a phenomenal first-ever high school race, with Charlie’s big finish driving him to the 21st slot. Lowell hung on

to take 26th, and freshman Kyle Flores and Whaley rounded out scoring to boost the team to an impressive 3rd place performance.An hour later, the heroes of the team, the varsity squad, toed the line. The field was composed of some of the best runners the team would likely see all year, including state-ranked #4 team Marquette and #10 Eureka. In fact, every team there was from a school massively outnumbering Priory - yet this did not frighten the bold red-and-blue-clad warriors. From the start, the race was driven by Marquette’s ace, the fastest ranked boy in Missouri, Noah Kauppila, with his teammate Adam Rode-rique right behind him. The Run-ning Rebels meanwhile began to sort themselves out over the first mile, as juniors Tim Avery, Andrew O’Sullivan, and Danny Martin ran with each other to hit the mile marker under  5:30. Senior Ryan Donlin, junior An-drew Cammon, and senior Brian Steiner were strung out not far behind them, with Charlie Lohm-ann hunting them down. As the lead runners stretched the field, the Priory team responded, as they slowly gained positions. The real battle awaited them as they approached the finish line. Giving it all, Martin hit the line first for the team in 11:28, good for 33rd, with O’Sullivan and Avery barely 4 seconds behind him to pro-

duce an amazing packing effort. Donlin likewise put the hammer down to take 49th, and Steiner and Cammon hit the tape about ten seconds later. The 36 second spread certainly promised to be an asset for future competition.The next race was scheduled for Friday, yet the remnants of Hur-ricane Isaac swirling through the skies from the south delayed the inevitable bloodshed that was the Lutheran South Invite. When the team reconvened on Tuesday at Jefferson Barracks, conditions were much like last week, with sickening mix of heat and humid-ity. This time, the varsity did the honors, as they started the races. Prowling at the starting line be-side them was a lethal squad from MICDS, along with a reborn Po-tosi team and the always-strong Oakville. The gun went off, send-ing the Running Rebels up the first hills after the pack. Once again, O’Sullivan, Avery, and Mar-tin quickly teamed up in a pack between places 15 and 20, while Steiner, Cammon, Donlin, and Lohmann were cutting through the runners behind them. The rough course and hot weather had slowed the pace somewhat, yet like last year, Amos Bartelsmeyer of MICDS was leading, with an Oakville harrier in pursuit. The 5K course’s hills stretched out the field, yet the Rebel’s top trio were still right with each other, while

Donlin had pulled past Steiner to take the fourth position on team. Once again, the team hit the finish line closely together, with O’Sullivan, Avery, and Mar-tin all medaling; Donlin, Steiner, Cammon, and Lohmann were scattered further back. Strong finishes once again allowed the team to outdistance much of the field by over than 100 points. While the varsity team went off to rescue damsels in distress, the JV team prepared to race, knowing full well their tradition of domi-nance in this race. Just as in pre-vious years, the Red Sea drowned the other runners, as junior Dan Stein dominated to win the race comfortably in 20:05, a time which would have placed him right be-hind Danny Martin in the varsity race. Drysdale fared well likewise, as in his first career high school 5K he took third with a varsity-caliber time. Behind their ef-forts, the rest of the team stormed away with the team title, as junior Chris Chivetta, who practically emitted swag with every step, and the Lowell twins (Alex and Thomas) completed the top 5. On Saturday, the warriors of the red-and-blue will com-pete against some of the best squads of the Midwest at For-est Park, so be there or whatever.

The Legend of the Running WarriorsBy Brian Steiner ‘13

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Opinion & Entertainment

If you haven’t heard recently, mountain lions are now the

kings of the jungle. Well, at least they are in terms of Apple Ma-cintosh operating systems. This summer, Apple released their successor to OS X Lion (10.7), aptly called OS X Mountain Lion (10.8). Mountain Lion builds on the unification of features be-tween Apple’s mobile and desk-top operating systems that started with Lion. A lot of things that iPhone and iPad users are used to are finally making the transi-tion to the desktop. From installa-tion to iCloud here is a rundown of all the good (and bad) things to look for in Mountain Lion.

First off, installing the operat-ing system is a breeze. As long as you’re running OS X 10.6.8 or above installing Mountain Lion is as simple as running an applica-tion. The installer is only available digitally through the Mac App Store, and costs $19.99, although if you bought a Mac during the summer, you may be eligible for a free upgrade. After buying and downloading the installer appli-cation, all you need to do is run the installer app and voila, within about half an hour you’re run-ning Mountain Lion. The installer

keeps all of your data, so you don’t have to worry about losing your applications, photos, music, etc.

Once Mountain Lion is installed, you will be asked to setup iCloud. It’s not necessary, but definitely a huge benefit, especially for own-ers of multiple devices in the Apple ecosystem. Automatically, iCloud will sync your emails, messages, photos, calendars, documents, notes and remind-ers, all through your Apple ID.

One of the best of these iCloud integrated features is the new Messages app. Messages is a com-pletely revamped iChat, but with the benefit of iMessage. iMes-sage is Apple’s instant messag-ing platform for all their devices. Anyone who has an iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, or a Mac, can send messages to each other through their Apple ID or iPhone phone number. All your conversations synchronize between devices, and the notifications for what messages you haven’t read are too. You can even create group conversations, send pictures and files, or start a FaceTime session. The best part is about Messages though is it’s speed. Messages send almost instantaneously,

and it works faster than email.

Notification Center is also a huge improvement. Before it, appli-cations had to create their own form of notifications and no two were implemented the same way. Now when a user gets a notifica-tion, a small banner appears in the corner of the screen before sliding away. Then to view the whole list of notifications, all a user has to do is click the notifi-cation center button on the menu bar or slide two fingers left from the right edge of their trackpad, and the whole screen will slide over, revealing all the notifica-tions. These can be emails, re-minders, instant messages, app updates, calendar events, and more. The list of applications that support this feature is only growing. And say you don’t want to be bothered for a while, you can easily turn notifications off.

Next up is iCloud. Right out of the box, all of your email, notes, reminders, calendar events, con-tacts, and documents can be synced via iCloud. Create a key-note on your iPad? Finish it on your iMac. Create a grocery list at home using Reminders, get it at the store on your iPhone. Take

a photo on your iPhone, and it automatically shows up in iPho-to (Requires iPhoto ’11). Buy a song, book, or app in iTunes on your Mac, go to your iPod touch and see that it’s already there. These are just a few of the things that you can do with iCloud.

Mountain Lion also includes quite a few under the hood and simple useful features that most users don’t notice right away. For instance, on newer Macs, you can mirror your display to an HDTV through an Apple tv using AirPlay. Autosave is still present, as well as the ability to browse through the past revisions of a document. Plus, to the joy of many, “save as” is back in the form of “duplicate.” Just a little thing like being able to rename a document through the title bar speeds up workflow.

Overall, OS X Mountain Lion is a solid upgrade, especially if you are still running Snow Leopard or below. It brings the best of the iPhone and iPad to the Mac us-ing the power of the cloud, while still improving the desktop ex-perience. Apple has really let the cat out of the bag on this one.

Apple’s New Operating SystemBy Luke McGartland ‘14

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“ I think Oprah is far more powerful than a Vice President.”

-Barack Hussein Obama

Opinion & Entertainment

THE RETURN OF FLUNK THE FLYING MONK

AND HIS SIDE-KICK DEA-CONNESS GLORIA DORNE. U-POD CONGRESS #1

“Did you notice, Flunk,” said Deaconess Dawn(Glory to her

friends) excitedly one morning as she was enjoying a coffee and cinnamon roll with him at the Bread Company in Creve Coeur, “Did you notice how President Obama quoted the Golden Rule in his Nobel Peace prize address last December in Oslo?” “What did he say?” asked Flunk begin-ning to show real interest as he unravelled part of his roll, broke it off and dipped it into his coffee. “ ..the one rule that lies at the heart of every major religion is that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us” said Dawn. “If you remember that the Geneva convention insisted that this in-cludes the child in the womb then you have here a radical Pro-Life statement!” “You’re right, Glory, but how easily statements like that get overlooked by the media. They edit them away before the text hits the web and you have to google “Whole Text” if you want to get at the full speech and the’unspun ‘ message.” “You know,” went on Flunk “that reminds me of some-thing one of the Priory students

wrote the other day and which has been brewing in my mind ever since someone showed it to me. I think it might be the focus of our next congress.” “Spit it out,Flunk,” said Dawn encouragingly, “We’ve not had a good congress since the ERIN project at Cairo, Egypt two years ago brought all those solar operated desalination plants to the north african coast.” “Well, to paraphrase what the student wrote when asked how he would go about restoring legal protec-tion in our country to our unborn kids, he wrote: ‘When 3D color ultrasound cameras are avail-able cheap and every home has one the problem will take care of itself!” “Wow!,” said Gloria, clearly beginning to bubble with excitement. “So what’s your take on this?” “Well, G, (Flunk called her G when he was thinking fast to save time and space.) I’m all for calling a world congress in Seattle, bringing the various ‘-pod’ gurus together to set up think tanks on this challenge.””Seattle?” asked Dawn “O yes of course, Micro-soft HQ. Go on.” “We’ll call it” continued Flunk, “the U- pod congress. We’ll bill it as a kind of ‘moon-race-challenge’ and we’ll see if these brilliant non-robotic minds can hatch a U-pod.” “What on earth is a U-pod?” asked Dawn

fearing that the flying monk had finally lost it. “It’s the “Ultra-pod”, G, “ replied Flunk mischievously. “It’ll be a kind of cell-phone/black-berry and 3D-ultrasound camera all built into one. The owner will be able to take ultrasound pictures as simply as taking snapshots at a party.” “But what on earth would he or she want ultra-sound pic-tures for?” asked the deaconness patiently. “Don’t you see, G? With her upod a woman once preg-nant will be able to watch from square one her child growing in her womb. Eac h day she will be able to monitor its growth watch its progress and begin to bond with her baby as a person.” “That sounds interesting but how will that help to re-introduce legal protection to her child? Seems to me it will make her even more able to snuff it out, have it aborted in the earliest stages of its exis-tence.” “Well, of course,” replied Flunk, slowing down and select-ing his words with care. “To begin with people will certainly have the opportunity to do that. But don’t forget a woman does not realize that she has conceived until she misses her period. By that time her child will already be almost fourweeks old— measusring his or her life from conception. But, putting this aside ...this reminds me. Way

back in the 80s a very eloquent woman, wife of a pediatrician in Boston who had been tragically killed in an automobile accident, his widow, told a group of Priory students that the biggest differ-ence between a born and an un-born child was ‘charm’. She said that if a mother had a window in her womb and could watch her child developing chances are she would be ‘charmed’ by the child and would decide to care for it and bring it to term. The ‘U-pod’ will be her window in the womb.” “Wow,” said Dawn “you’ve certain-ly got something brewing there, Flunk! Let’s get weaving on the SEATTLE U-POD CONGRESS” With that they both downed the remainder of their coffee and left The Bread Company.

Ralph’s RagesBy Fr. Ralph Wright O.S.B.

8 Have a Glorious weekend

“We pray on our own time, but the answers come in God’s time.”

-Fr. Cavanaugh from the movie Rudy

Opinion & EntertainmentMust Watch TV

As a Priory student, you likely don’t have a lot of

free time on an average school night. You, being the great student you are, slave away on homework up to 5 hours a night. Between this and the sports requirement you sim-ply have no time to waste on bad television shows. You will, however, be pleased to know that I have wasted ridiculous amounts of time watching TV for you and now write to present you with three shows (along with several extras) that stood out from the rest.

CommunityMy favorite show currently running, Community has es-tablished a blend unlike any-thing else on TV. Community is a comedy about 7 people who have all been thrust into the world of community col-lege from different places in society and ultimately form a study group. The show then follows the study group on their journey through com-munity college and their growth as a “community” as they are continuously thrust into unlikely scenarios. The episodes are usually themed drawing from classic pop-culture ranging from a God-father style mafia movie (but with chicken strips) to west-erns and “law and order”. The future of the show, however, is in doubt after creator and director Dan Harmon was sacked by NBC and the future

involvement of legendary co-median Chevy Chase is ques-tionable. Community returns for its fourth and potentially last season, October 19th .How I Met your mother

How I Met your Mother is a comedy in its 8th season that follows the social and romantic lives of five friends in New York. The show takes place in the context of one of the five friends telling the stories to his kids in the year 2030. Presumably the stories will lead up to, of course, how he met their mother. The show is likely entering one of its last two seasons as they have re-vealed certain events that will begin to bring the series to a close. The show enters its 8th season September 24th . The shows first seven seasons are available on Netflix instant and definitely deserve your time.

 

White CollarWhite collar is an interest-ing twist of the typical crime drama. It follows the inves-tigations of an FBI agent in the white collar crime divi-sion. The FBI agent ultimately pares up with a master forger, art thief and conman that he had put behind bars four years earlier. The combina-tion of the two creates an in-teresting dynamic and often comedic dialogue as the two solve countless cases for the FBI. The ex-con however is

not entirely willing to give up his conman past and is often involved with elaborate theft plots. The show is nearing the end of its fourth season and will be renewed for a 5th sea-son likely to air in the spring.

ExtrasSherlock- Crime Drama- A modern retelling of the Sherlock Holmes Master-fully written by the leg-endary Steven Moffat.Doctor Who – Sci-Fi- A show doesn’t last 33 sea-son’s and 12 TV movies over 50 years for being ok.Game of Thrones- Fanta-sy- an adaption of the game of thrones book series, the show is masterfully directed to convey the many converg-ing and diverging story lines.The League- Comedy- A unique mixture of fantasy football and Adult com-edy that simply works.The Newsroom- Drama- A story of a news team trying to create an unbiased and fact orientated news broadcast.Misfits- Drama/comedy- a British series about a group of juvenile delinquents who obtain powers through a freak storm and their adventures.

Check out how the varsity teams fare on stlhighschoolsports.com

BY CHRISTOPHER HAMMER ’14SCRIPTOR HEBDOMADALISHAMMERC@STLPRIORYSCHOOL.ORG

As a Priory student, you likely don’t have a lot of free time on an average school night. You, being the great student you are, slave away on homework up to 5 hours a night. Between this and the sports requirement you simply have no time to waste on bad television shows. You will, however, be pleased to know that I have wasted ridiculous amounts of time watching TV for you and now write to present you with three shows (along with several extras) that stood out from the rest.Community, Comedy! My favorite show currently running, Community has established a blend unlike anything else on TV. Community is a comedy about 7 people who have all been thrust into the world of community college from different places in society and ultimately form a study group. The show then follows the study group on their journey through community college and their growth as a “community” as they are continuously thrust into unlikely scenarios. The episodes are usually themed drawing from classic pop-culture ranging from a Godfather style mafia movie (but with chicken strips) to westerns and “law and order”. The future of the show, however, is in doubt after creator and director Dan Harmon was sacked by NBC and the future involvement of legendary comedian Chevy Chase is questionable. Community returns for its fourth and potentially last season, October 19th .How I Met Your Mother, Comedy# How I Met Your Mother is a comedy in its 8th season that follows the social and romantic lives of five friends in New York. The show takes place in the context of one of the five friends telling the stories to his kids in the year 2030. Presumably the stories will lead up to, of course, how he met their mother. The show is likely entering one of its last two seasons as they have revealed certain events that will begin to bring the series to a close. The show enters its 8th season September 24th . The shows first seven seasons are available on Netflix instant and definitely deserve your time.

White Collar, Crime Drama# White collar is an interesting twist of the typical crime drama. It follows the investigations of an FBI agent in the white collar crime division. The FBI agent ultimately pares up with a master forger, art thief and conman that he had put behind bars four years earlier. The combination of the two creates an interesting dynamic and often comedic dialogue as the two solve countless cases for the FBI. The ex-con however is not entirely willing to give up his conman past and is often involved with elaborate theft plots. The show is nearing the end of its fourth season and will be renewed for a 5th season likely to air in the spring.

Here are a few other shows you may enjoy:Sherlock, Crime DramaA modern retelling of Sherlock Holmes. Produced by BBC, Sherlock will blow you away. (It is also Luke McGartland’s favorite show and he highly recommends it)Doctor Who, Sci-Fi A show doesn’t last 33 season’s and 12 TV movies over 50 years for being ok.Game of Thrones, FantasyAn adaption of the game of thrones book series, the show is masterfully directed to convey the many converging and diverging story lines.The League, Comedy A unique mixture of fantasy football and Adult comedy that simply works.The Newsroom, Drama A story of a news team trying to create an unbiased and fact orientated news broadcast.Castle, Crime DramaBest-selling mystery writer Richard Castle kills off his main character, and looking for inspiration, turns to NYPD detective Kate Beckett to form the background for his new book series. New season starts September 24 on ABC.Misfits, Drama/Comedy A British series about a group of juvenile delinquents who obtain powers through a freak storm and their adventures. !

Real Artists Ship

11

TV Shows You Need to Seeif you somehow have no homework

Opinion

9

By Chris Hammer ‘13

Puzzles

Riddle Time

10 Next Issue: Friday, Sept. 21

Crossword

7

Word Search

againstalarm

alimentaryangelargentargueariseattic

brightbrushcheapcleanclose

delvedietselixir

empireessential

glovehatchionicneonobeypitsrates

rehabilitates

rhymesepiaspeakstrumtheorythesiswiggleyard

ACROSS1. Not more5. Run away to wed10. Box14. Savvy about15. 9 9 9 916. Ripped17. Stubbornly unyielding19. If not20. An uncle21. Visitor22. Sorrow23. Laggard25. Serf27. Dawn goddess28. Ethics31. Oblivion34. Pile35. Spy agency36. Adjoin37. Utilize again38. Hesitate39. Lair40. Handbag

41. Slays42. Urgent situation44. Animal doctor45. Stop46. Kitchen set50. Cogitate52. Clamorous54. Carpet55. Awestruck56. Bias58. Egg-shaped59. Muse of love poetry60. At the peak of61. Expunge62. Man-made fiber63. FlippantDOWN1. Bounded along2. Colonic3. Scatter4. Mayday5. Results

6. About a US quart7. 1 1 1 18. Luxury apartment9. Eastern Standard Time10. Unsaturated alcohol11. Governmental12. Backside13. Coral barrier18. Snow house22. Happy24. Money owed26. Sea eagle28. Quiet and timid29. Cultivate30. Wild Tibetan oxen31. Stow, as cargo32. Wild goat33. Civic34. Soldier of fortune

37. Flows38. Chomp40. Pinnacle41. East African country43. A kindly or tender nature44. The ability to see46. Repeat47. Hackneyed48. Coach49. Country of the Nile50. Stepped51. Possess53. By mouth56. A writing implement57. One time around

Sudokumedium hard

Puzzles

Looking for Comic Strip Writers/Artists ● If Interested Email theprioryrecord@gmail.com

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Cryptogram

-Mark Twain

Puzzles

Next Issue: Friday, Sept. 21

LAUS TIBI DOMINE

Football, ContinuedNorth for last year’s homecom-ing embarrassment . And revenge was had. The Rebels had a domi-nating victory that ended 51-7 at half. That half alone put two Rebels in the state’s top 10 rush-ers (Thomas Raybuck, and Dave

Nogalski). Priory Rushing (Rush, Yds, Avg.): David Nogalski (8, 229, 28.6); Thomas Raybuck (12, 183, 15.3); Dominic Coppola (10, 75, 7.5); Taylor Boyce (5, 18, 3.6); Andrew Rund (2, 6, 3.0).Priory Defense: 2 fumble re-

coveries: Stephen Clark, Brian Vaporean; 1 sack: Sam Fried-man; 42-15 tackle-assists.The Rebels look to keep up the trend of smash-mouth, no-regret football this afternoon at the Bur-roughs Bomber’s field at 4:30pm.

And again next Saturday versus MICDS who the Rebels haven’t beat since 2006. Rebel Faith-ful, I ask you this, where will you be when victory strikes?

A New Direction for Priory LunchesBy Antonio Petralia ‘14

Over half a decade ago, when I first toured Priory, one of

the things that struck me about the school in comparison to mine (which had recently adopted a new “Healthy Choice” menu) was the quality of school lunch. Al-though it was not quite restaurant quality food, for a school lunch it was great. But I think it’s safe to say that for the past few years, Priory’s school lunches have been on a steady decline. Hamburgers became blotchy hunks of brown and pink meat, somewhere along

the line the “meat” in BBQ rib-lets turned orange, and may God bless the brave soul who dared to try the soup, which was al-ways strikingly similar to the hot lunch of the day before. How-ever, with a new year comes a new beginning, and this is espe-cially true for Priory’s cafeteria. Many students have noticed that while we lack the dessert bar, we now have fresh fruit and vegeta-bles, which are actually very good. And in case you somehow haven’t noticed the difference, Chef Gill

has confirmed that we are in fact using better quality meat. “I love the change!” he says, and I think most of Priory will support him on that. Father Augustine states that we really do eat better than most schools, and Tristan Hell-muth, Junior, has too said that the lunches this year are “much better” than those in years past. I think everyone’s looking forward to the return of Bosco sticks as a Friday lunch, and so far, the new “flame grilled” menu (in which everything is actually grilled by

our own Chef Gill outside the cafeteria) has not failed to disap-point. However, as good as this may seem, not everyone is to-tally pleased. We have taken a healthier turn, and in addition to new menu options, many meals have been given better, healthier, and even more delicious ingre-dients. However, some lunches such as clams and country fried steak were beyond repair, and just didn’t make the cut. Are you going to miss the old lunches, or the new ones worth the sacrifice?

11May the odds be ever in your favor.... ?