your soldier, your army

8/11/2019 Your Soldier, Your Army

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YY OUROURSS OLDIEROLDIER

YY OUROURAA RMYRMY

A PARENTS GUIDE

By Vicki Cody

The Institute of Land WarfareAssociation of the United States Army


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Preface ............................................................................ vChapter 1: A Soldier in Your Family ................................. 1

Soldiers Creed...................................................................... 3

Chapter 2: Deployment Orders ........................................ 6Deployment Process ............................................................. 8

Chapter 3: Planning Ahead ............................................ 14Deployment Checklist ......................................................... 16

Chapter 4: Getting Through the Deployment ................. 20Family Readiness Groups ................................................... 22

Chapter 5: Its a Matter of Trust ...................................... 29The Barons Legacy ............................................................ 30

Chapter 6: The In-Laws ................................................. 34Unique Army for a New Nation ............................................ 36

Chapter 7: What if . . .? .................................................. 43

In Case of Emergency at Home .......................................... 45

Chapter 8: Yellow Ribbons ............................................. 48Reunion Blues ..................................................................... 49

Chapter 9: Terms, Acronyms and Other Army Stuff ........ 52Rank Insignia ...................................................................... 55

Chapter 10: Afterword .................................................... 62Useful Websites .................................................................. 65

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Your Soldier, Your Army: A ParentsGuideBy Vicki Cody

Editor Eric Minton

Cover DesignRandy M. Yasenchak

Technical SupportSoutheastern Printing and Litho

Copyright 2005Association of the United States Army

All rights reserved.

The Institute of Land WarfareAssociation of the United States Army

2425 Wilson BoulevardArlington, Virginia 22201-3385

703-841-4300www.ausa.org

Publication ofYour Soldier, Your Army: A Parents Guide

was made possible by a grant from

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Contents


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I am an Army wife and a mother. That pretty muchsums up who I am. I wear a lot of hats and play many roles, but first and foremost I am a wife and a mother.Im married to a Soldier (30 years). Ive known my hus-band since he was a cadet at West Point, Ive come upthrough the ranks with him and we raised two sons

along the way. Then, I became an Army mom . . .twofold. Both of our sons chose the Army as theircareer. In fact, both became helicopter pilots like theirfather. To add to all of this, Im a mother-in-lawouryounger son was married three months before hedeployed to Iraq.

So I feel I have some experiences worth sharing. When I began writing this book both sons were

deployed to Iraq, serving in the same brigade. As I fin-ish this book, both sons are either in Iraq or on their way. Once again, both are in the same unit, one thattheir dad commanded. You could say theyre carrying on a family traditionone thats making me go gray

with worry!

My husbands still on active duty, stationed at thePentagon. At one point, two years ago, while he was

viv

Preface


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1

S o you have a Soldier in your family . . . how exciting!Let me just say right now what a great honor it is tohave a Soldier in your family. You should feel so proud.Regardless of where you come from, your race, religionor political views, you need to realize how importantyour Soldier is to our Army

and to our country. You may have mixed feelings and emo-tions about all of this, butabove all you should bebursting with pride. Youshould be lump in yourthroat, goose bumps on yourarms, and tears in your eyesproud! There is no greaterprofession, nothing morenoble than wearing the uni-form of our U.S. Army. YourSoldier raised his right handand swore to protect and defend this great country andits Constitution. Wow, thats pretty powerful!

Maybe this is a first for you and your family; maybeyouve never had a relative in the military. Whether

A SoldierIn Your Family

It doesntmatter where

the Soldierdeploysbecause

whenever aSoldier deploys

it puts stresson his family.

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H aving your Soldier in a combat zone will be themost stressful time for you and your family. Theres notmuch I can say or do to ease your fears, but I can giveyou some things to think about and tell you what hashelped me and other parents.

You get back into your routine, but you think about

your Soldier constantly and wait anxiously for that firstphone call, e-mail or letter.Once you have contact withyour Soldier, you feel better.

If your Soldier goes intoa combat situation where youhave limitedor nonexist-entcommunication withhim, the situation is muchmore stressful for everyone. When our son got toKuwait, he was able to call a few times. Then the warstarted and they all moved up through Iraq for combatoperations. That began the most stressful time Ive everbeen through: no phone calls, no e-mail, nothing for

weeks at a time. And he wasnt getting mail from us. I was so frustratedI wanted our son to get our pack-ages and letters, and I wanted to get mail from him!

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Suddenly, youdont take

anything forgranted.

Getting Throughthe Deployment

know the people closest to your Soldier. Get the nameof the rear detachment commander and the unit phonenumber. You never know when you might need to call

that person. When I was working the Army Hotline I got a call

from a concerned father. He and his wife were going ona 10-day cruise and he was afraid that if something hap-pened while they were gone, the Army wouldnt know how to get in touch with them. This was during thecombat phase, so there was no e-mail yetthey could

not even let their Soldier

know they were going away. Ireferred him to the Family Assistance Center (FAC) atthe post from which theirSoldier had deployed; fromthere he was given the phonenumber for the Soldiers reardetachment. He called to pro-

vide an emergency phonenumber and informationabout how long they wouldbe away from their home. Itgave this father peace of mind just to know that hisSoldiers unit would know how to get in touch with him.

18 YOUR SOLDIER, YOUR ARMY: A PARENTS GUIDE

Remember! Make sure your Soldier hasthe proper powers of attorneyand all financial mattersorganized.

Help your Soldier makearrangements for children,pets, vehicles, lawn mainte-nance and household itemsneeding storage or care.

Know the names and phonenumbers of your Soldiers unit,commander and the FirstSergeant.

Know the name and phonenumber of the rear detach-ment commander.


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F or this chapter I tried to think of all the words andterms you need to know and may not have a clue about.Its often said that Army people speak their own lan-guage. So here is a language lesson.

First, a brief explanation of the types and sizes of units in the chain of command. The Commander-in-

Chief, of course, is thePresident, and the Secretary of Defense and his deputiesare next in that chain. Underthe Secretary of Defense isthe Secretary of the Army and the Chief of Staff of the

Army. Though a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, whoadvises the Secretary of Defense and President onmilitary actions and policy, the Chief of Staff answersto the Secretary of the Army in matters concerning Department of the Army policies.

Most Army units and personnel are assigned to oneof nine unified commands or combatant commands,

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Its often saidthat Army

people speaktheir ownlanguage.

Terms,Acronymsand OtherArmy Stuff

our sons walk off those planes evaporated the emo-tions of that long wait. It was worth every penny spenton travel, it was worth all the stress of schedulechanges. Standing in the cold and rain at 3 in the morn-

ing among hundreds of spouses, kids, moms and dads

was complete joy. The feel-ings are universalthey crossall gender, race, religious andeconomic boundaries. Youvecome from all over the coun-try by plane, by car, by what-

ever means possible. Youvecome for the same reason to welcome home yourSoldier and give her a BIGhug! As I stood there bothtimes I had flashbacks to 12years earlier when my boysand I waited for their dad tocome home from OperationDesert Storm. It was at theexact same airfieldeven thesame hangar. How ironic isthat?


Remember! Try to be at the homecoming.

Its a great experience for youand a meaningful moment for your Soldier.

Dont make any plans until youhave a definite, official dateand time of the return.

The rear detachment and theFRG will give you the most up-to-date and accurate informa-tion on return date and time.Your Soldier will not be a reli-able source for this informa-tion.

Count on the date changing.For that reason, driving is thebest way to travel so that you

dont have to pay fees for changing your airline tickets. Airlines are under no obliga-tion to waive their changefees.


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BHABasic Housing Allowance, an addition to thepaycheck of Soldiers living off post.

BCTBrigade Combat Team.

BDEBrigade.BDUBattle dress uniform.

BNBattalion.

BTRYBattery.

CDRCommander.

CGCommanding general.

CONUSContinental United States.

DADepartment of the Army.

DCUDesert camouflage uniform.

DEERSDefense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System, the registration of Soldiers spouses and chil-dren that allows them to get their ID cards and accessother military services.

DeploymentThe relocation of forces and materiel tooperational areas. Deployment encompasses all activ-ities from home station through destination, includ-ing intracontinental, intertheater and intratheatermovement, staging and holding areas.

DFASDefense Finance and Accounting System, theorganization that pays your Soldier and keeps track of her allotments and leave time.

DOBDate of birth.

DoDDepartment of Defense.

DORDate of rank, when a Soldier officially is pro-moted to his current rank.

DSSSDisabled Soldiers Support System (sometimescalled DS3).

55TERMS, ACRONYMS AND OTHER ARMY STUFF

AERArmy Emergency Relief, the Army's own emer-gency financial assistance organization.

ARArmy Reserve, Army Regulation or armor.

ARNGArmy National Guard.

BOQBachelor Officer Quarters.


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KIAKilled in Action.

LESLeave and Earnings Statement, the Soldiers pay stub.

LODLine of duty.LZLanding zone.

MEDDACMedical Department Activity.

MIMilitary Intelligence.

MIAMissing in action.

MPMilitary Police.

MREMeals ready to eat.

MWRMorale, Welfare & Recreation, a collection of facilities (such as fitness centers and bowling alleys)and services (such as travel agencies and tours) avail-able on the Post for Soldiers and their families.

NCONoncommissioned officer.

NCOICNoncommissioned officer in charge.

NGNational Guard.

NLTNot later than.

NOKNext of kin.

NTCNational Training Center at Fort Irwin,California.

OBCOfficer Basic Course.

OCONUSOutside the continental United States.OCSOfficer Candidate School.

OICOfficer in charge.

PAOPublic Affairs Office.

PCSPermanent change of station (i.e., moving).


EFMPExceptionalFamily Member Pro-gram, which providessupport and resourcesto Soldiers family members with disabil-ities.

ETSEstimated timeof separation, the date

when a Soldiers com-mitment to the Army

ends, unless she re-enlists.

FACFamily Assis-tance Center.

FLOFamily LiaisonOffice, an ombuds-man program forSoldiers and families.

FRGFamily Readiness Group.

GOGeneral officer, brigadier general and above.

HQHeadquarters.

HQDAHeadquarters, Department of the Army.

IEDImprovised explosive device.

IETInitial Entry Training or boot camp.

IRRIndividual Ready Reserve.

JAGJudge Advocate General, the Armys legalbranch.

JRTCJoint Readiness Training Center at Fort Polk,Louisiana.


The Association of the U.S. ArmysFamily ProgramsDirectorate workson behalf of Army families throughinstallation visits,information gather- ing, supporting family readinessactivities and hosting Military Family Forums.Its web page, at

www.ausa.org , is full of information, web links,resources and tips. Twice amonth AUSA produces theFamily Programs Update, anewsletter, posted on thewebsite, containing current news and references of interest to Army families.

59TERMS ACRONYMS AND OTHER ARMY STUFF58 YOUR SOLDIER YOUR ARMY:A PARENTS GUIDE


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TOCTactical Operations Center.

USARUnited States Army Reserve (no longer anofficial acronym, but still in common use).

USOUnited Service Organization, still helping Soldiers and their fami-lies.

VADepartment of Vet-erans Affairs, formerly known as the Veterans

Administration.

WOWarrant Officer.

WOCCWarrant OfficerCandidate Course.

XOExecutive Officer.


Remember! Command of military operations

descends from the Presidentthrough the Secretary of Defenseto the unified commands.

The Army is going through a reor-ganization to create a swift-react-

ing, full-spectrum, modular force.

Though these modular units areset up to go to any hot spot in theworld at a moments notice,deployment rotations will becomesteadier and less frequent.

PLTPlatoon.PNOKPrimary next of kin.

POAPower of attorney.

POCPoint of contact.

POVPrivately owned vehicle.

PXPost Exchange.

QRFQuick reaction force.

QTRSQuarters, the places where Soldiers and fami-lies live.

RD/RDCRear Detachment/Commander, some-times shortened to Rear D.

RedeploymentTo return personnel, equipment andmateriel to the home or demobilization stations forreintegration or out-processing.

ReintegrationThe process of transitioning Soldiersfrom deployment to their regular duties and homestation life.

RFORequest for orders, part of the process of get-ting authorization for transfers, promotions andawards.

R&RRest and recreation.

SGLIServicemens Group Life Insurance.

SOPStandard operating procedure.SSNSocial Security Number; you might hear refer-

ence to last four, which is the last four digits of theSocial Security Number.

TDYTemporary Duty, the military equivalent to abusiness trip.

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About the author

Vicki Cody (above with, from left, her sons Captain Tyler Cody and Captain Clint Cody and her husband General DickCody, Vice Chief of Staff, U.S. Army) has been an Army wifefor 30 years and an Army mom for five years. A native of Dayton, Ohio, she grew up in Burlington, Vermont, andearned her Bachelors of Science in education at theUniversity of Vermont in 1975. Three months later she mar-ried then-1st Lieutenant Dick Cody and has had 16 differenthomes in the 30 years since, including Hawaii, Alabama,Virginia, Georgia, Kansas, Kentucky, Korea, Pennsylvania,Texas and Washington, D.C. In addition to her busy life as an

Army spouse, Vicki is an avid skier, knitter and private pilotand a brand-new grandmother. She lives on Fort Myer,Virginia, with her husband and their chocolate Lab, Barkley.

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