joke of the day

Why was 6 Why was 6 afraid of 7?afraid of 7?

Because 789!Because 789!

What did the spider What did the spider do on the computer?do on the computer?

It made a website!It made a website!

What has four legs What has four legs but can't walk?but can't walk?

A table!A table!

How do you know carrots How do you know carrots are good for your  eyes?are good for your  eyes?

A. Because you never see A. Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!rabbits wearing glasses!

On which side of an On which side of an ostrich are the feathers?ostrich are the feathers?

The outside!

““Joey, can you come out Joey, can you come out and play?”and play?”

“No. I have to help my dad do my homework.”

What did the fish What did the fish say when he swam say when he swam

into the wall?into the wall?

Dam!Dam!

Why did the clown take Why did the clown take off his shoes?off his shoes?

His feet felt funny.His feet felt funny.

What did the elevator say What did the elevator say to the doctor?to the doctor?

““I’m coming down with I’m coming down with something.”something.”

What is the longest word What is the longest word in English?in English?

““Smiles. There’s a Smiles. There’s a milemile between each “ between each “ss”.”.

Why did the bunny cross Why did the bunny cross the road?the road?

Because it wanted to Because it wanted to show its girlfriend it show its girlfriend it could hip hop!could hip hop!

Why did the man put Why did the man put his money in the his money in the

freezer?freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!He wanted cold hard cash!

Where do polar Where do polar bears vote?bears vote?

The North PollThe North Poll

Where do snowmen Where do snowmen keep their money?keep their money?

In snow banks.In snow banks.

What's brown and What's brown and sticky?sticky?

A stick.A stick.

Why did the Why did the tomato turn red?tomato turn red?

It saw the salad dressing!It saw the salad dressing!

What did the grape do What did the grape do when it got stepped on?when it got stepped on?

It let out a little wine!It let out a little wine!

What dog keeps What dog keeps the best time?the best time?

A watch dog.A watch dog.

What did the water What did the water say to the boat?say to the boat?

Nothing, it just waved.Nothing, it just waved.

What did the judge say What did the judge say when the skunk walked in when the skunk walked in

the court room?the court room?

Odor in the court.Odor in the court.

Why did the Why did the elephant eat the elephant eat the

candle?candle?

He wanted a light snack!He wanted a light snack!

What do you get from a What do you get from a pampered cow?pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.Spoiled milk.

What letters are not What letters are not in the alphabet?in the alphabet?

The ones in the mail, The ones in the mail, of course!of course!

What did the gum say to What did the gum say to the shoe?the shoe?

““I’m stuck on you.”I’m stuck on you.”

What do you call cheese What do you call cheese that is not yours?that is not yours?

Nacho CheeseNacho Cheese

After a careful After a careful examination the doctor examination the doctor said, “ I’m sorry to tell said, “ I’m sorry to tell you that you’ve only got you that you’ve only got four hours to live.four hours to live. {cont.} {cont.}

Is there anyone you want Is there anyone you want to see before you go?”to see before you go?”

“Yes,” answered the patient. “ Another doctor.”

Dad, “You usually talk a lot on the phone. Why did you only talk half an hour?”

Daughter, “It was a Daughter, “It was a wrong number!”wrong number!”

What goes up the chimney down, but not down the chimney up?

An umbrellaAn umbrella

Where do spices go when Where do spices go when they are sick?they are sick?

To see Dr. Pepper.To see Dr. Pepper.