WHERE ARE WE NOW?

INTRODUCTION PERCEPTION VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

CHAPTER SIX LISTENING: UNDERSTANDING OTHERS

WHY IS THIS CHAPTER IN THE BOOK?

WHAT IS THE CONNECTION BETWEEN LISTENING AND INTERPERSONAL

COMMUNICATION?

COMMUNICATION IS A PROCESS (THE MODEL)

LISTENING IS A PROCESS

A PROCESS IS SUBJECT TO MALFUNCTION OR BARRIERS

HOW WE RESPOND TO LISTENING BARRIERS CAN DAMAGE THE COMMUNICATION IN A RELATIONSHIP

OR BUILD BRIDGES TO OTHERS

WHY ARE LISTENING AND IC CONNECTED?

PREVIEW: WHY STUDY LISTENING?

LISTENING DEFINED

ACCEPTANCE

ACTIVE LISTENING

TYPES OF QUESTIONS TO ASK POOR LISTENING STYLES  BARRIERS TO LISTENING GUIDELINES FOR LISTENING

WHY STUDY LISTENING?

WE SPEND LARGE AMOUNT OF TIME LISTENING

45 PERCENT OF OUR COMMUNICATION LISTENING 30-33 PERCENT OF OUR COMMUNICATION

SPEAKING 15 PERCENT OF OUR COMMUNICATION READING 10 PERCENT OF OUR COMMUNICATION WRITING BUT WE REMEMBER ONLY A FRACTION OF WHAT WE

HEAR

WHY ARE LISTENING SKILLS IMPORTANT TO

COMMUNICATION? 

YOUR PARTNER WILL HEAR ON AVERAGE 2 1/2-

5 MINUTES OF A 10 MINUTE CONVERSATION.   

WHY IS EFFECTIVE LISTENING

IMPORTANT IN MEDICINE?-THE RELATIONSHIP

COMPONENT TO LISTENING

 EFFECTIVE LISTENING IS

A SIGNIFICANT PREDICTOR FOR PATIENT

SATISFACTION. (WANZER, BOOTH-BUTTERFIELD & GRUBER,

2004)

WHAT GOOD LISTENING SKILLS WILL DO:

 HELP YOU UNDERSTAND

ASSIGNMENTS 

BUILD RAPPORT WITH COWORKERS, BOSSES, AND

CLIENTS/PATIENTS 

FIND MEANING IN WHAT PEOPLE SAY

 WORK WITH A TEAM

BUILD CONVERSATIONAL BRIDGES

THE HELPFUL ASPECTS OF LISTENING ARE NOT OFTEN STUDIED IN OTHER PLACES

LISTENING DEFINED

LISTENING

PROCESS OF RECEIVING, ATTENDING TO, AND

ASSIGNING MEANING TO AURAL STIMULI.

-FUJISHIN

LISTENING DEFINED

IN OTHER WORDS…THE PROCESS OF MAKING SENSE OUT OF THE SOUNDS WE HEAR.

LISTENING DEFINED

TWO WAYS TO APPROACH

DEFINITION:

LISTENING AS A PROCESS

LISTENING V. HEARING 

LISTENING AS A PROCESS

LISTENING DEFINED

LISTENING AS A PROCESS:

 RECEIVING

 ATTENDING

 INTERPRETING

 EVALUATING

 RESPONDING

LISTENING DEFINED

LISTENING AS A PROCESS: RECEIVING-PHYSICAL PROCESS OF RECEIVING AND PROCESSING AMONG COMPETING SOUNDS ATTENDING-FOCUSING ON A SELECTED SOUND OR SOUNDS INTERPRETING-ASSIGNING MEANING TO SELECTED SOUNDS

LISTENING DEFINED

LISTENING AS A PROCESS (CONT.): EVALUATING-DETERMINE VALUE OR WORTH OF A MESSAGE

RESPONDING-EXPRESS YOURSELF WITH OPINION, FEELING, QUESTION, JUDGMENT, SILENCE, ETC.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN LISTENING AND HEARING?

HEARING

PHYSIOLOGICAL PROCESS OF

DECODING SOUNDS.

-BEEBE, BEEBE, & REDMOND

HEARING

HEARING VS. LISTENING:

HEARING: PHYSIOLOGICAL PHYSICAL RELATIVELY SIMPLE PROCESS

LISTENING: PSYCHOLOGICAL MENTAL COMPLEX PROCESS

LISTENING DEFINED

A GOOD SUMMARY OF HEARING VS.

LISTENING:

“JUST HEARING SOUNDS VS.

LISTENING FOR THE MESSAGE"

ACCEPTANCE

DEFINITION OF ACCEPTANCE

“RECEIVING WHAT IS”

NOT JUDGING WHAT SPEAKER IS SAYING AS RIGHT OR WRONG, GOOD OR BAD, FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW

THIS PERMITS ATMOSPHERE OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

NONVERBAL SIGNS OF ACCEPTANCE

POSTURE AND GESTURES ARE OPEN DIRECT EYE CONTACT POSITIVE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS NODDING

VERBAL SIGNS OF ACCEPTANCE

AVOID INTERRUPTIONS NONEVALUATIVE LISTENING WORDS OF ACCEPTANCE (“I SEE”) INVITATIONS TO SHARE

ACTIVE LISTENING

SKILLS

FOUR STEPS OF ACTIVE LISTENING

1. SPEAKER MAKES A STATEMENT2. LISTENER PARAPHRASES STATEMENT3. SPEAKER ACCEPTS PARAPHRASE4. IF REJECTED, SPEAKER CLARIFIES ORIGINAL

MESSAGE, IF ACCEPTED, LISTENER IS FREE TO EXPRESS THOUGHT/FEELING

DETERMINE LISTENING PURPOSE

• COMPREHENSION/ACCURACY LISTENING

• EMPATHETIC LISTENING

• CRITICAL LISTENING

ENHANCING SKILLS

COMPREHENSION/ACCURACY: 

GOAL-TO ACCURATELY UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT MESSAGES THE PARTNER IS

CONVEYING 

STOP ATTENDING TO SELF TALK 

LOOK AT NONVERBAL MESSAGES (car dealer)

USE QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS THAT REFLECT BACK CONTENT

ENHANCING SKILLS

EMPATHY: 

SOCIALLY DECENTER-HOW WOULD YOU REACT, WHAT DO

YOU KNOW ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON, HOW WOULD

MOST PEOPLE REACT

REFLECT SPEAKER’S VERBAL AND NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR-

INVITATION TO SHARE

(CAR DEALER)

ENHANCING SKILLS

CRITICAL LISTENING: 

"LISTENING TO EVALUATE AND ASSESS THE QUALITY, APPROPRIATENESS, VALUE,

OR IMPORTANCE OF INFORMATION."

 ASSESS QUALITY OF

INFORMATION 

AVOID JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Classroom listening Skills: Choose to find the subject useful (calculus) Concentrate on message, not professor's appearance, etc. React slowly to things with which you disagree Identify the "big ideas" to which everything else in the lecture is related Adjust your notetaking system Stay attentive

ENHANCING SKILLS

Classroom listening skills: 

 Aggressively tackle difficult material

 Don't get derailed by emotionally

charged "buzz" words 

Get to know the professor personally

 Use the thinking v. speaking speed

differential to your advantage 

www.leadershiplane.com

ENHANCING SKILLS

HELPING CHILDREN LEARN TO LISTEN:

 ASK THEM TO REPEAT YOUR

INSTRUCTIONS 

TEACH THEM EYE CONTACT 

READ OUT LOUD AND ENGAGE IN CONVERSATION ABOUT READING

 AGE APPROPRIATE ACTIVITIES ON

LISTENING

ENHANCING SKILLS

TYPES OF QUESTIONS TO ENHANCE EFFECTIVE LISTENING

TYPES OF QUESTIONS FOR EFFECTIVE LISTENING

1. CLOSED QUESTIONS-INVITE ONE OR TWO WORD ANSWERS

2. OPEN QUESTIONS-ENCOURAGE EXPLANATION OF THE ANSWER

3. PROBING QUESTIONS-OPEN AND CLOSED QUESTIONS DIRECTLY RELATED TO PRECEDING STATEMENT IN CONVERSATION

4. LOADED QUESTIONS-BLAME, ACCUSE, AND JUDGE. MAY FORCE ADVICE ON LISTENER

POOR LISTENING STYLES

POOR STYLES OF LISTENING THAT MAY LEAD TO MISCOMMUNICATION

1. REFUSING TO LISTEN2. PRETENDING TO LISTEN 3. LISTENING SELECTIVELY-LISTENING ONLY TO WHAT

YOU ARE INTERESTED IN4. LISTENING TO EVALUATE-EVALUATING FROM OWN

POINT OF VIEW RATHER THAN ACTUAL MESSAGE5. LISTENING TO RESCUE-PREVENTS PERSON FROM

ACCEPTING CONSEQUENCES OF BEHAVIOR

LISTENING BARRIERS

LISTENING BARRIERS

CERTAIN CONDITIONS MAY IMPEDE OR

INTERFERE WITH OUR ABILITY TO EFFECTIVELY

LISTEN TO OUR COMMUNICATION

PARTNER. WHAT ARE THEY?

LISTENING BARRIERS

ABUNDANCE OF MESSAGES

EXTERNAL NOISE

RAPID THOUGHT

OUR JUDGMENTAL FRAME OF REFERENCE

SHORT ATTENTION SPAN

EFFORT

UNCHECKED EMOTION

CRITICIZING THE SPEAKER

LISTENER APPREHENSION

LISTENING BARRIERS

ABUNDANCE OF MESSAGES

PHONES, CONVERSATIONS, MEETINGS

LISTENING BARRIERS

EXTERNAL NOISE

TRAFFIC, DOGS, MACHINERY, MUSIC, AIR CONDITIONER, CONVERSATION

NEXT TO YOU

LISTENING BARRIERS

RAPID THOUGHT-DIFFERING SPEECH

AND THOUGHT RATES

UNDERSTAND 500 WORDS PER MINUTESPEAK 125 WORDS PER MINUTE

LISTENING BARRIERS

JUDGMENTAL FRAME OF REFERENCE

HOW DOES THIS AFFECT ME?

LISTENING BARRIERS

BEING SELF ABSORBED: 

CONVERSATIONAL NARCISSISM-

FOCUS ON PERSONAL AGENDAS AND SELF

ABSORBTION RATHER THAN ON THE NEEDS AND IDEAS OF

OTHERS.

LISTENING BARRIERS

SHORT ATTENTION SPAN

AFFECTED BY ADVANCE OF COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY IN OUR

SOCIETY

LISTENING BARRIERS

EFFORT

• BE PRESENT• BE ATTENTIVE• BE RECEPTIVE• BE RESPONSIVE

LISTENING BARRIERS

UNCHECKED EMOTIONS:

 AROUSAL OF WORDS

 EMOTIONAL NOISE

LISTENING BARRIERS

CRITICIZING THE SPEAKER

LISTENING BARRIERS

AMBUSH LISTENER: 

PERSON WHO IS OVERLY CRITICAL AND

JUDGMENTAL WHEN LISTENING TO OTHERS

(roof preacher)

LISTENING BARRIERS

LISTENER APPREHENSION-

FEAR OF MISUNDERSTANDING SPOKEN MESSAGES

OF OTHERS

LISTENING BARRIERS

ABUNDANCE OF MESSAGES

EXTERNAL NOISE

RAPID THOUGHT

OUR JUDGMENTAL FRAME OF REFERENCE

SHORT ATTENTION SPAN

EFFORT

UNCHECKED EMOTION

CRITICIZING THE SPEAKER

LISTENER APPREHENSION

GUIDELINES FOR LISTENING

GUIDELINES FOR LISTENING

AVOID PARROTING (VERBATIM) AVOID OVERUSE OF ACTIVE LISTENING

(ONLY USE IT WHEN YOU NEED TO CLARIFY) AVOID INAPPROPRIATE USE OF ACTIVE

LISTENING “WHAT TIME IS IT?” “ARE YOU ASKING ME

WHAT TIME IT IS?”

ALAN'S SUMMARY OF EFFECTIVE LISTENING PRINCIPLES

 DETERMINE LISTENING PURPOSE

 STOP, LOOK, LISTEN

 LISTEN CRITICALLY

 RESPOND EFFECTIVELY WITH QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS

 EMPATHIZE AND CONFIRM

OTHERS

EFFECTIVE LISTENING SKILLS

SUMMARY: WHY STUDY LISTENING?

LISTENING DEFINED

ACCEPTANCE

ACTIVE LISTENING

TYPES OF QUESTIONS TO ASK POOR LISTENING STYLES  BARRIERS TO LISTENING GUIDELINES FOR LISTENING