leading well when everyone else is weird
DESCRIPTION
Jason Lane, Innovista, YFC ConferenceTRANSCRIPT
“If you would just stop being ‘weird’
then everything would be fine”
Imaginary conversations with the ‘weird
one’ (where you’re putting them
straight)
Fantasising about your perfect team
Symptoms of weird in your team
• It creates confusion, tension and conflict
• It sucks emotional energy
• It causes a team to misfire
• Teams do not achieve their potential
impact
• Great team members will leave
When not addressed weird behaviour
matters because:
• I didn’t anticipate it
• It’s not how I’d do it
• I don’t like your style
• I don’t understand you:
Your personality, preference,
your __________
• You’re not like me
What we (usually) mean by weird
.
• Theology of weird: “You will always
have the weird among you”
• In teams:
Some weird is bad and needs to be
addressed
Most weird is potentially good –
diverse teams deliver better results
Embracing the truth about weird
Because leaders are disproportionately
influential, when leaders are weird
they create a lot of weirdness in
others
Embracing the truth about weird
Most of the weirdness in others is caused
by the weirdness in me
You are, therefore, the weirdest person
in the room
Embracing the truth about weird
• What are you doing that others’ on
your team find weird?
• What kind of reaction does your
behaviour stimulate in others?
My weird behaviour
• Leaders own their weirdness
• Leaders own their impact on others
• Serving others (and God) means
reducing your weirdness
• The less weird you are the better your
team will perform
“I am {insert name} and I am weird...”
Embracing the truth that you‘re weird
• Working with feedback
• From those you work with (all levels)
If you were to solicit feedback on your
leadership who would you ask?
How to become less weird (the process)
3 Questions:
• How do you experience me?
• What do I do well as a leader?
• What do I need to improve as a leader?
How to become less weird
• Identifies our blind spots
• Trends are harder to ignore/excuse
• Makes weird behaviour specific
Feedback makes the unconscious,
conscious and specific
• Aim to develop a new automatic
response
• Have to go through ‘grown zone’ first
• Start by defining your desired
behaviour and situations (from
feedback)
From conscious incompetence to
unconscious competence
• Describe the benefits & loss (motivation)
• A cycle of practice & reflection
• Repeat (a lot)
• Regular feedback from a few who are for you
• Celebrate progress
From conscious incompetence to
unconscious competence
If possible, plug in to an external coach who
can support you
From conscious incompetence to
unconscious competence
Practice, reflection, practice....
Replacing unproductive attitude and
action with something fruitful
When it doesn’t work, look below the
surface (what drives you?)
From conscious incompetence to
unconscious competence
• Get Feedback
• Own it (I want to change this)
• Name the new behaviour (describe gain of
mastering it and the loss of not)
• Practice and reflect and repeat
(with regular feedback)
• Celebrate growth
Summary: Becoming less wierd
• Less weirdness all round
• Others will follow your example
• Develop a culture of mutual feedback
and supported growth
• More energy into the mission
• Increased impact
Just imagine...