Newsletter

Mayor Marianne Meed Ward was elected as the 29th mayor of Burlington, Ontario in October of 2018. She is also the sec-ond woman to hold that position in Burlington’s history. She previously served as a Burlington city councillor for 2 consecu-tive terms, from 2010 to 2018. Prior to her career in politics, Marianne worked for 22 years as a journalist for clients in-cluding the Toronto Sun, Vision TV, CBC, CHCH news, Chatelaine, Ryerson University and more, committed to keeping people informed about the issues and information that impact their lives.

Meed Ward campaigned on stopping overdevelop-ment in Burlington, spe-cifically downtown. She had also campaigned on addressing traffic conges-tion, flood risk, protecting the cities tree canopy, tax reform and building trust between the community and council.

She lives in Burlington with her husband, 3 chil-dren, and their Wheaten terrier, Boston.

Www.probusclubofburlington.ca

Probus Club of Burl ington

U pcoming

Speakers

May 23 - John Garsh-

ennek - IKEA

June 20 - Michael

Gervers - Title TBD

July 18—TBA; TBD

August 15—TBA ; TBD

Marianne Meed Ward Mayor of Burlington

April 2019

T he next meeting of the Probus Club

of Burlington will be held on Thursday April 18th, 2018 at 10:00AM at the Art Gallery of Burlington.

E xtending the hand

of welcome…

What better way to begin

our morning than with a

firm handshake and a

friendly smile from our

four greeters, Doug

Macdougall ; Bill Wil-

liams ; Jack Segaert ;

Henry Hadley ; guaran-

tee this and will set the

tone for the morning in

true Probuscian style.

Thanks Gentlemen.

Th

e M

ay

or

Of

Bu

rlin

g-

ton

Ou

r A

pri

l S

pea

ke

r

bus. Hey, WE WON! Milbur Giles

has had the Grummett trophy en-

graved with our name for 2019 and

it will be on display at the back after

the meeting for those interested.

Bill Wilson of Burlington Lakeshore

took home the crying towel on their

behalf.

This win brings the overall Grum-

mett Bonspiel results to 10 wins for

Burlington Probus vs. 12 wins for

Burlington Lakeshore Probus. How-

ever, we have won 8 of the last 10

Bonspiels so the winning trend is

definitely with us.

The cash bonus for the highest scor-

ing rink in the spiel was won by the

Glen Huffman rink from Burlington

Probus.

It was a fun day of curling for all and

I (Dawson Kilpatrick) would like to

thank all the participants for

turning out and playing for our

until it reaches daylight when it tum-

bles spectacularly over the escarpment

south of Chedoke Golf Course.

“Daylighting” is the term for what has

been done in many cities where under-

ground storm sewers have been raised

almost to ground level and become

areas of scenic attraction. Looking

something like a meandering creek of

the past. It’s not likely this will happen

on the West Mountain in Hamilton,

but John Terpstra wishes it could and

become another good example for what

to do with underground storm sew-

ers.

On Wednesday, March 6th 20 curlers

(five rinks) from Burlington Probus

played against an equal number of

curlers from Burlington Lakeshore

Probus in the 22nd annual Grummett

Bonspiel. The results of the five

matches were 3 wins , 1 tie, and 1 loss

for Burlington Probus, which produced

a point score win for Burlington Pro-

We 82 Probustians who populated

our meeting on March 21, certainly

wondered what we were going to

hear from a speaker who has been

known as a carpenter, house build-

er, furniture maker, home renova-

tor, prize winning poet, and author

of non-fiction. More to the point, we

were told he was going to speak

about his book, “Daylighting Che-

doke Creek”, Clever title, but I and

probably others, were having trou-

ble figuring out what it was about.

However, John Terpstra cleverly

conveyed to us what this creek busi-

ness was all about. He described

what maps of our continent would

show before humans made their

appearance. The creeks and rivers

on a map would look much like the

veins and arteries of a human body

as they supply and drain every

pound of flesh. Just imagine how

much water there was left when 87

gazillion tons of Ice Age ice decided

to melt. OH, A QUESTION …. LIKE

THE CHICKEN AND EGG …. DID

ICE COME BEFORE WATER?

So, when humans began to occupy

almost every square metre of habit-

able and, they found they needed

those creeks for drainage. So, near

their sources, creeks were often di-

verted to roadside ditches. (OK,

CHICKEN AND EGG AGAIN,

WHICH CAME FIRST …. ROADS

OR DITCHES?) Or underground,

first into square wooden pipes, then

in later years into concrete ones,

sometimes many feet in diameter.

For example, Chedoke Creek runs

underground for seven kilometres

Meeting Review

By Bob Chambers

Members Pages

Page 2 The Probus Club of Burlington Newsletter Www.probusclubofburl ington.ca

Grummett Curling Results

Your Burlington British Pub.

Squires Public House, which harkens

back to an era where a pub became

more than just a place to have a meal,

but a gathering spot to celebrate

friends and family.

Join us after each meeting to continue

fellowship, have a good meal, all for

$15$ including a beer or a glass of

wine.

Signing into our member areas of our

website is now easier with the com-

mon universal sign-in ID and Pass-

word.

Sign-in ID: probusburl@cogeco.ca

Password: probus2010

You no longer need to register

your email address or password.

Use the new ID and Password to reg-

ister for events, check the mem-

ber roster, etc.

"The Old Days"

Grandpa was telling his young grand-

son what life was like when he was a

boy.

"In the winter we’d ice skate on our

pond. In the summer we could swim

in the pond, and pick berries in the

woods. We’d swing on an old tire my

dad hung from a tree on a rope. And

we had a pony we rode all over the

farm."

The little boy was amazed, and sat

silently for a minute. Finally he said,

"Granddad, I wish I'd gotten to know

you a lot sooner!"

Three Senior Pals"

Three seniors are out for a stroll.

One of them remarks, “It’s windy.”

Another replies, “No way. It’s Thurs-

day.”

The last one says, “Me too. Let’s have

a soda.”

"Hearing Better Now"

An elderly man was having hearing

problems and went to see a specialist.

The doctor fitted him with some hear-

ing aids that brought his hearing back

to full strength.

After a few weeks the man came back

to make sure the new equipment was

working properly, which it was.

The hearing specialist said, “It all

seems perfect. Your family should be

delighted you can hear everything

now.”

“Oh no,” the man responded. “I have-

n’t told any of them. I just sit quietly,

listening carefully. I’ve changed my

will four times.”

"Hospital Regulations"

Hospital rules state that patients

checking out must have a wheelchair.

One day a newly graduated nurse as-

sistant came into the room to find an

elderly man fully dressed. He was sit-

ting on the bedside chair, with a piece

of packed luggage at his side, all ready

to go.

When he was shown the wheelchair,

he was adamant that he was fully ca-

pable of walking himself to the park-

ing lot.

But the assistant told him rules were

rules, so he relented and let her wheel

him out.

In the elevator, the assistant asked the

elderly man if his wife was coming to

meet him.

“I don’t think so,” he replied. “It takes

her awhile to change her clothes, so

she’s probably still upstairs in the

bathroom taking off of her hospital

gown and getting dressed.”

"Write It Down"

A couple in their nineties are both having

some short term memory loss.

While in for a checkup, the physician says

that physically they’re okay, but since

they’re having trouble remembering

things, they might want to start writing

things down.

Later that evening they’re sitting and

reading, when the husband gets up.

“Would you like anything from the kitch-

en?” he asks.

“Some vanilla ice cream,” his wife replies.

“Okay.”

“Shouldn’t you write it down so you don’t

forget it?” she asks. “Don’t worry, I won’t

forget.”

“Well,” she says. “A few raspberries on

top would be great. You want to write

that down?” “I’ve got it, honey. A bowl of

vanilla ice cream with raspberries on

top.”

“And chocolate sauce, too. Maybe you’ll

forget that. Want me to write it down for

you?” A little miffed, he replies, “I’ve got

it! Ice cream, raspberries and chocolate

sauce. I don’t need it written down, for

gosh sakes!”

He waddles out to the kitchen. A half

hour later, he comes back with a plate of

ham and scrambled eggs, and gives it to

his wife.

She stares at the plate a few seconds,

then says, “You forgot my toast.”

Did You Know?

Members Pages

Page 3 The Probus Club of Burlington Newsletter Www.probusclubofburl ington.ca

Squire

Some Humour

Special Events

Page 4 The Probus Club of Burlington Newsletter Www.probusclubofburl ington.ca

Burlington Probus President's Cup & Interclub Golf Tournament

Date - Friday May 31, 2019

Start - 10:30 am

Place - Burlington Springs Golf Club, 5235 Cedar

Springs Road

Price - $75 - includes golf, cart, prizes & lunch (scramble format)

Payment - Cheque payable to Probus Club of Burlington;

no refunds after May 19

Invited participants - members & guests

Prizes - Low net team, closest to the pin, drive closest to the line, draw

On-line or at April meeting

Prize donations gratefully accepted

Mark your Calendars Foster Festival in

St. Catherines, Ontario

Tuesday, July 11th, 2:00pm

to see

“HILDA’S YARD”

by Norm Foster

Details to follow

Shaw Festival in Niagara

on the Lake, Ontario

Friday, September 27th,

2:00pm

to see

“THE LADYKILLERS”

by Graham Linehan, screen-

play by William Rose

Details to follow

Computer

Interest Group

Our next meeting will be on April 11th at 10am at Appleby Place.

Robert will be reviewing some new developments and answer-ing your questions as well. So please send them to rlalonde12@cogeco.ca

Interest Group Activities

Page 5 Www.probusclubofburlington.ca The Probus Club of Burlington Newsletter

Published monthly by The Probus Club of Burlington, Box 85098, Brant Plaza P.O., Burlington ON, L7R 4K3

President: Ed Eves, 905-637-9644 Editing & Distribution: Bob Lalonde, 905-332-1383.

Probus Bridge Club

The Monday Bridge Group

Meets every week at the Ca-

nadian Legion. Join us for

lunch and friendly games of

bridge Starts at 12 Noon..

The Game"

On an overseas flight, a lawyer and an older man were in adjoining seats.

The lawyer asked the senior if he’d like to play a little game. The older man was tired, and he told the law-yer he only wanted to sleep.

But the lawyer insisted the game was a lot of fun.

“Here’s how it works,” he said. “I’ll ask you a question. If you can’t come up with the answer, you have to give me a dollar. Then it’s your turn to ask me one. But if I can’t answer it, I have to give you $20.”

The senior figured if he just got this over with, maybe he could get some sleep. So he agreed to play.

The first question from the lawyer was “How far apart are the earth and the moon?”

The senior stayed completely silent, reached for a dollar, and gave it to the lawyer. Then he said, “My turn.

What walks upstairs backward and comes downstairs forward?”

The lawyer was stumped. He thought and thought. He tried to remember all the riddles he knew. He searched every corner of his brain.

He even cheated and asked the flight attendants and other passen-gers.

Finally he gave up. He woke up the older man and gave him a twenty. The senior stuffed the twenty in his coat and went immediately back to sleep.

The lawyer couldn’t stand it. He woke up the older man and said, “I have to know. What walks upstairs backward and comes downstairs forward?”

The senior got out his wallet, gave the lawyer a dollar, and went back to sleep.

Oh Boy!

April Humour