assertiveness in the work place

Supervision Internship [401591]

Week Three – Assertiveness

Marcus Birkenkrahe [Birkenkrahe Aya]

Bruce Spear [Beave Burkhardt]

Johannes Radig [Johannes Edelmann]

HWR Berlin Supervision Internship LV 401591 / 2

Agenda

Tell us about the results of the forum discussion

Recap / extention: PAC model and Drama Triangle

[Non-] Assertiveness

Simple methods

Discussion

Commitment round

Agenda | Forum | Models | Discussion | Commitment


Forum – Changing your communication

1. Do one thing differently in your communications with others in your workplace and pay attention to the consequences.

2. Discuss what you've done with a third person and report on what you've learned.



Model: Parent-Adult-Child

Parent

Adult

Child

Adult

Child

Parent

SympatheticPraisingCriticalFrom above

Eye-levelAppropriately tenseUses „I“, not „you“Clear, determined

RebelliousSulkyPlacatingAsking for praise

Person A Person BModified from Berne, 1964.



Model: Drama Triangle

Modified from Berne, 1964.


DRAMATRIANGLE

Persecutor: It's all your fault!

Rescuer: Letme help you!

Victim: I'm such a poor boy|girl!

• Unnecessarily strict• Accuses• Critisizes aggressively• Anger easily triggered• Critical parent• School bully• Looking for victim

• Helplessness• Suppressed anger• Looking for rescuer• Unable to enjoy• Feels s|he can't, absolutely not.

• Not listening to intuition• Guilt feelings when not rescuing• Keeps victims dependent• Expects rescue to fail• Weak parent• Feels s|he must, absolutely.


[Non-] Assertiveness

Aggressive behavior – pushy, bullying, requires force

Manipulative behavior – sly, tricky, requires cunning

Instinctive behavior – 'fight, flight or freeze'

Defensive behavior – replying, defending, asking

Assertive behavior – clear, adult, requires boundaries


Assertive behaviors

The point of all assertive techniques is to let the other person know (a) where your boundary is, (b) if anyone has violated it and (c) what will happen if they keep doing it.

Direct and clear

Fielding through repetition

Parallel talking

Paradoxical


Forum Feedback & Discussion

Let's move over to the (now fixed) Opinionator to get a view of what the class thinks of some of the forum statements & then discuss...

?


Commitment - Changes

Experiment with assertive behavior this and next week.

First, identify your (typical) pattern.

For example

when you'd normally say 'no', say 'yes'. when you'd normally be aggressive, be assertive when you'd normally be manipulative, be assertive In all cases, observe how other people's response

changes when you change your behavior.


assertiveness in the work place

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