assertiveness ok

8/14/2019 Assertiveness Ok

1/21

ASSERTIVENESS

WHAT IS IT?

HOW CAN IT HELP ME?WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?


2/21

ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness is theability to

communicate yourneeds, feelings,opinions, andbeliefs in an open

and honest mannerwithout violatingthe rights of others


3/21

Assertion levels

Passive Assertive Aggressive


4/21

Assertiveness

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Style Not expressing needsSelf-devaluing

Waiting to be led

Honest, open, direct

Recognises own rights

Listens to others needs

Domineering, insisting

Win / lose

Not listening

Non-verbalbehaviour

Small posture

Quiet, hesitant voice

Little eye contact

Upright, balanced pose

Firm, clear voice

Steady eye contact

Interrupting

Loud

Staring, pointing

Language Sorry to bother you I cant seem to Its only my opinion

I believe/need/Id likeNo (when appropriate)

Open questions

That wont workYou cant be serious

Your problem / fault


5/21

ASSERTIVENESS

1. IS NOT THE SAME AS AGGRESSIVE

BEHAVIOR.

2. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR ENHANCESSELF AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS.

3. ASSERTIVENESS PRODUCES POSITIVE

OUTCOMES FOR ALL; AGGRESSIVE

ACTS RESULT IN NEGATIVE

OUTCOMES.


6/21

Have You Ever

Felt guilty about saying no? that others regard you as a pushover?

that its better to be well liked than well

respected?

that outbursts of anger are appropriate?

that intimidation is the only way you can get

what you want?


7/21

Sound

Familiar?If any of these things soundlike you, it means you are

probably exhibiting non-

assertive behavior.

Realize that you are not alone.

Non-assertive behavior is very

common in the workplace.


8/21

A

CautionWhile assertiveness is a key factorin enhancing quality of work life,group dynamics, and interpersonal

climate, it is not always appropriate.

QQ: How can you

tell?

AA: Tailor your

response to


9/21

Assertiveness

Im OK

AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE

Youre not OK Youre OK

PASSIVE / PASSIVE

AGGRESSIVE

Im not OK


10/21

WHAT WILL IT DO

1. HELPS YOU BECOMESELF-CONFIDENT

2. INCREASES SELF-

ESTEEM3. GAIN RESPECT OF

OTHERS

4. IMPROVECOMMUNICATIONSKILLS

5. IMPROVE DECISION-MAKING ABILITY


11/21

Whats Keeping You FromBeing Assertive?

Barriers (FEAR)

I wont be able to handle it.

Others decisions Others attitudes

Patterns:

- not wanting to upset

- not wanting to put out- acquiescing

Lack of self-belief

Lack of clear intentions


12/21

Whats Keeping You From

Being Assertive? Fear of change.

Refusal to admit their submissiveness.

Fear of ruining relationships if you speak

your mind.

Lack confidence in your ability.


13/21

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE

1. BE HONEST AND DIRECT ABOUT

YOUR FEELINGS, NEEDS, BELIEFS.

2. EXPRESS YOURSELF FIRMLY ANDDIRECTLY TO SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.

3. BE REASONABLE IN YOUR REQUESTS


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15/21

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE

4. STATE YOUR VIEWPOINT WITHOUT

BEING HESITANT OR APOLOGETIC.

5. BE HONEST WHEN GIVING ORRECEIVING FEEDBACK.

6. LEARN TO SAY NO TO

UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.

7. PARAPHRASE WHAT OTHERS HAVE

STATED TO YOU.


16/21

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE

8. REGOGNIZE AND RESPECT THE

RIGHTS OF THOSE AROUND YOU.

9. USE APPROPRIATE TONE OF VOICE.10. BE AWARE OF BODY

POSTURE/LANGUAGE

11. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.12. USE I STATEMENTS TO EXPRESS

SELF


17/21

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE

13. DONT LETOTHERS IMPOSETHEIRVALUES/IDEASON YOU

14. ENCOURAGEOTHERS TO BECLEAR ANDDIRECT

15. TAKEOWNERSHIP


18/21

AND MY RIGHTS ARE

1. The right to respect myself because of who Iam.

2. How to lead my lifepursuing goals, dreams,etc.

3. Have my own values, beliefs, etc.

4. To tell others how I wish to be treated.

5. To change my mind and make mistakeswithout being ridiculed.


19/21

AND MY RIGHTS ARE

6. TO HAVE POSITIVE, HEALTHY,

SATISFYING RELATIONSHIPS IN

WHICH I AM SAFE ANDRESPECTED.

7. TO CHANGE AND DEVELOP MY

LIFE HOW I DETERMINE.8. TO BE HAPPY AND AT PEACE.


20/21

Situations:Your friend offers to give you a ride and is half an

hour late.

Your friend offers to give you a ride to a job

interview and is half an hour late and

you miss the interview. Your next door neighbor is playing their stereo so

loudly that you cant study.

You are in line at the movies and some people cut

in front of you. You get a C on a test but think that you deserve a

B.

You are in a restaurant and your food is not hot

enough.


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ASSERTIVENESS

1. DOESNT JUSTHAPPEN.

2. DOES NOT

GUARANTEE YOU

HAPPINESS OR FAIRTREATMENT.

3. WILL NOT SOLVE

ALL YOUR

PROBLEMS4. DOES NOT

GUARANTEEE YOU

WILL GET WHAT

YOU WANT.

assertiveness ok

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