w w w. t h e we e k l y b e a n . c a

(306) 825-5694 or e-mail:labean@sasktel.net

January 12, 2015

ANNALS OF INJUSTICE

Richard Rosario is in year 18 of a 25-to-life sentence for murder, even though 13 alibi witnesses have tried to tell authorities that he was with them -- 1,000 miles away -- at the time of the crime. (Among the 13 are a sheriff’s deputy, a pastor and a federal corrections officer.) The “evidence” against him: Two “eyewitnesses” in New York City had picked him out of a mugshot book. Rosario had given police names, addresses and phone numbers of the 13 people in Florida, but so far, everyone (except NBC’s “Dateline”) has ignored the list, including Rosario’s court-appointed lawyers. As is often the case, appeals court judges (state and federal) have trusted the eyewitnesses and the “pro-cess.” (In November, “Dateline” located nine of the 13, who are still positive Rosa-rio was in Deltona, Florida, on the day of the murder.) [WNBC-TV (New York City), 11-21-2014]

THE CONTINUING CRISIS

-- Disappointed: (1) Cornelius Jefferson, 33, was arrested for assaulting a woman in Laurel County, Kentucky, in October after he had moved there from Georgia to be with her following an online relationship. Jefferson explained that he was frustrated that the woman was not “like she was on the Internet.” (2) In November, an unnamed groom in Medina, Saudi Arabia, leaped to his feet at the close of the wedding, shocked at his first glimpse of his new bride with her veil pulled back. Said he (according to the daily Okaz), “You are not the girl I had imagined. I am sorry, but I divorce you.” [Herald-Leader (Lexington, 10-21-2014] [Daily Mail (London), 11-17-2014]

What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?I’m stuck on you

What is black and white and pink all over? An embarrassed zebra

What bird steals from the rich to give to the poor? Robin Hood

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look a little flushed

Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?

She was on a crash diet.

What do you call a scared dinosaur? A nervous Rex

Why are Teddy Bears never hungry? Because they are always stuffed

Why not take a pottery class at the Lloydminster Cultural & Science Centre. A variety of classes are offered that help further skill building, unearthing old passions or discovering new ones. As an added bonus, each adult class has refreshments available! Instructors are Eleanor Shaw and Christiane Dumas.

Session 1: (7 classes) $225 + taxThursdays - Jan. 15, 22, Feb. 5, 12, 19, 26, Mar. 12 (glazing)1:00 p.m - 4:00 p.m.

Session 2: (7 classes) $225 + taxTuesdays - Feb. 24, Mar. 3, 10, 17, 24, 31, Apr. 14 (glazing)6:00 - 9:00 p.m.

No experience necessary. Learn the art of hand building and creating on the pottery wheel and complete beautiful glazed pieces. One bag of clay is provided with your registration fee.

For more information, call the Centre at 780-874-3720.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYWANDA AND CINDY!!

Some thoughts for the New Year...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have

less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less

sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble

crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and

give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Baby Bean12.01.14

Wednesday

Mar. 19

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P R E G N A N C Y T O P A R E N T I N G

Coats and Car Seats Don’t Mix

It’s that time of year again. The air is cool, the ground is white and you’ve found the boots and mittens. Every year we haul out our big snowsuits and jackets, in an effort to stay warm. Those thick layers may be great for skiing and sledding but they can be downright dangerous in the car.

In order for a child restraint to properly do its job, it is important to have the harness snug and as close to the child’s body as possible. In the event of a collision, the force of the impact can compress thick, bulky layers. When this happens, the harness becomes too loose and this can result in the child being seriously injured.

To check if your child’s coat is safe in the car, have your child put their coat on and buckle them up as you normally would. Then, unbuckle the car seat without loosening the harness. Have the child remove their coat and then buckle up again, with no bulky layers. If there is no extra slack and your harness still passes the pinch test, then your coat is car seat safe!

In our harsh prairie winters, it is important to keep our children both safe and warm. There are a number of ways to do this:

* Warm the vehicle for a few minutes before you travel.

* Use a shower cap style cover that goes over top of the entire infant bucket seat.

* Dress your child in light layers with a thin fleece layer on top. Cover the child with a blanket once they are buckled.

* Use a Car Seat Poncho with a fleece layer underneath. This allows the harness to be snug against their body.

* Buckle your child in the car seat and then have them put their coat on backwards.

* Remember that it’s always a good idea to travel with winter clothing and an extra blanket in the vehicle.

Be sure to contact your local Child Safety Seat Technician for more information on car seat safety.

Check out my Facebook page for the latest information on car seats and your little ones: Precious Passengers Car Seat Safety

Chelsea Nelson (CSST)

WHO ARE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD?

The MotherHood: Wed. 7th & 21stBirth Cafe: Thurs. 8th & 22ndNursing Moms: Wed. 14thFoodVille: Tues. 20thHealing Mama’s: Wed. 21st

Check out our website for more resources and information

www.thevillagepregnancytoparenting.com

Tickets on sale soon !Watch for the kids colouring contest

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POLITICALLY CORRECT APPEARANCES:

4 She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.4 She is not a BAD COOK

She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.4 She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY.She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

4 She is not SELF CENTEREDShe is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

4 She does not want to be MARRIED She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

4 She does not GAIN WEIGHT She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.4 She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE

She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.4 She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS

She is ATHLETICALLY UNAWARE.4 She does not GO SHOPPING

She is MALL FLUENT.4 She is not an AIRHEAD

She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

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FRIENDS VS SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Never ask for food. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: Always bring the food. FRIENDS: Will say ‘hello’. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss. FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad . FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: Cry with you .. FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, help you clear the table & do the dishes, then play dominoes or cards and just being together.. FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotesfrom you .. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds’ back-ends that left you . FRIENDS: Would knock on your door. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, ‘I’m home!’.

FRIENDS: will visit you in jail. SASKATCHEWAN FRIENDS: will spend the night in jail with you.

One of my husband’s colleagues at General Electric was taking Lamaze classes with his wife in preparation for the birth of their

baby. The first evening, couples were asked to introduce themselves and state their occupations. A banker, a lawyer and a

psychologist spoke up, and our factory-worker friend began to feel intimidated.

Finally his turn came. Rising to his feet, he said, “Hi! I’m Bill.” Looking down at his pregnant wife,

he quipped,

“I work at GE, and I bring good things to life!”-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Our three small children and I met my husband, a mail carrier, on his route for lunch at a fast-food restaurant. As we waited in line, he put our nine-month-old daughter in his mail bag. She stood up in the pouch and giggled, to the delight of some watching patrons. Carrying our tray to a table, my husband turned to one onlooker

and said, “And all this time you thought the stork delivered them!”

5405 44 StreetWayside Plaza

SIGNS FROM BUSINESSES

Seen on a garbage truck: “Satisfaction guaranteed or double your trash back”

Seen at a cemetery: “DRIVE CAREFULLY- WE CAN WAIT!”

Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA

“Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!”

Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges

Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch: If not back by five, out for dinner also

Sign on an elevator: In case of fire do not use elevator, use water.

A sign featuring an illustration of a police car with lights flashing:

“If you drink and drive, we’ll provide the chasers.”

LARRY’S PROVERBS

A day without sunshine is like night. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

Support bacteria. They’re the only culture most people have. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark? Hard work pays off in the future.

Laziness pays off now. How much deeper would the ocean

be without sponges? Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t

get sucked into jet engines. What happens if you get scared half

to death, twice? Why do psychics have to ask

you your name?

1. In 1949, Johnny Carson graduated from college. Which midwestern U.S. university, known as the Cornhuskers, did Carson attend?A) Kansas B) PurdueC) Iowa D) Nebraska2. From 1957 to 1962, Johnny Carson worked on the game show “Who Do You Trust?”, where he met his announcer and sidekick Ed McMahon. Which television network aired “Who Do You Trust”?A) NBC B) ABCC) CBS D) Fox3. In 1962, Johnny Carson began his long run as host of “The Tonight Show.” Which legendary talk show host did Carson replace?A) Hugh Downs B) Jack PaarC) Steve Allen D) Groucho Marx

4. Johnny Carson began most episodes of “The Tonight Show” with a humorous monologue about news stories and celebrity gossip of the day. When the monologue was not funny, which tune did his orchestra usually play?A) Alley Cat B) Singin’ In the RainC) Hello! Dolly!D) Tea for Two5. On “The Tonight Show” Johnny Carson frequently played a fast-talking, smooth-sounding host of “The Tea Time Movie” who tried to con his listeners into buying shoddy merchandise. What was this character’s name?A) Floyd R. Turbo B) Art FernC) Aunt Blabby D) El Mouldo

1.D, 2.B, 3.B, 4.D, 5.B

w In India, red is the symbol for a soldier.w In South Africa, red is the color of mourning.w It’s considered good luck to tie a red bow on a new car.w In ancient Rome, public servants wore blue. Today, police and other public servants wear blue.w In Iran, blue is the color of mourning.w Leonardo da Vinci believed that the power of meditation increases 10 times when done in a purple light, as in the purple light of stained glass.w Purple in a child’s room is said to help develop the imagination according to color theory.w In the Middle Ages, actors portraying the dead in a play wore yellow.

You Know You Are From A Small Town If...

Your teachers call you by your older sibling’s names.Your teachers remember when they taught

your parents.It was cool to date someone from

the neighboring town.You can’t help but date a friend’s ex-girlfriend.Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for

the summer to get stronger.You ever went to parties at a Quonset, barn,

or in the middle of a dirt road.You can name everyone you graduated with.

You give directions using “the” stop light as a reference.

Michelle HamiltonREGISTERED PSYCHOLOGIST

Professional Counselling Services, EMDR

780.808.1593www.beyond-balance.com

michelle@beyond-balance.com

 

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