w w w. t h e we e k l y b e a n . c a

(306) 825-5694 or e-mail:labean@sasktel.net

November 3, 2014

A Perfect WorldIn August, the Tampa Bay Times reported a dispute in Dunedin, Florida, between 12-year-old lemonade-stand operator T.J. Guerrero and the adult neighbor (Doug Wilkey) trying to close him down as an unlicensed entrepreneur, despite T.J.’s business plan for assisting his favorite animal shelter. Of course, T.J. was quickly inundated with donations, media praise and more lemonade sales. Wilkey, however, is under investigation by the city after a tipster revealed that Wilkey himself might operate a home-based financial services business not properly licensed. [Tampa Bay Times, 8-28-2014]

The Campaign Trail“My Friends, I Am a Man of Action!”: Roger Weber, running for a Minnesota House seat in November, is now being sued by a neighbor over a property-line dispute near Nashwauk. Rather than working with an arbitrator or mediator, or letting the legal process run its course, Weber in 2013 took a chain saw and sliced completely in

half the large, two-car garage that Weber says sat half on his property and half on the neighbor’s. [St. Paul Pioneer Press, 9-22-2014]

Sensitive in Vermont(1) Lianne and Brian Kowiak of Waterbury, Vermont, complained to Ben & Jerry’s in September that its new ice cream flavor, “Hazed & Confused,” was “shock(ing)” and “upset(ting)” and should be changed immediately. Though most customers recognize the name only as a play on the 1993 cult movie “Dazed & Confused,” the Kowiaks insist that they never be reminded that their 19-year-old son died in a college hazing incident. (2) In Winooski, Vermont, in August, the local eatery Sneakers Bistro earned public advertising space by beautifying one of the city’s flower beds, and managers used it for the quixotic ad, “Yield for Sneakers Bacon.” After one woman complained that the sign disre-spected those who do not consume pork, Sneakers took it down. [WCAX-TV (Burl-ington), 9-22-2014] [WPTZ-TV (Plattsburgh, N.Y.), 8-25-2014]

WHAT IS LOVE? “Love is what makes you smile

when you’re tired.” Tenille - age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a

sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Daniel - age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you

still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.”

Emily - age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

Bryson - age 7

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.” Nikka - age 6

Vic Juba Community Theatre presents “Don’t Dress for Dinner” within their Dr. H. A. McDonald Season on Nov 19-21. Dinner tickets are available. Cocktails begin at 5:30 pm, dinner service starts at 6:00 pm, with the performance starting at 7:30 pm. This comedy is performed by Vic Juba Community Players and directed by Matt Newman under the mentorship of Wendy Collins. The cast includes Cornelius Krahn who performs the role of Bernard (the husband), Nadine Walker-Perry who performs the role of Jacqueline (his wife), Dave Woods plays Robert (Bernard's friend), Joelle Collins plays Suzanne (Bernard's mistress), Candace Scobie performs the role of Suzette (the cook), and Ben Acquaye plays George (Suzette's husband). Bernard is planning a romantic weekend with his mistress in his charming converted French farmhouse, while his wife, Jacqueline, is away. He has arranged for a cordon bleu cook to prepare gourmet delights, and has invited his best friend, Robert, along too to provide the alibi. It's foolproof; what could possibly go wrong? Well.... suppose Robert turns up not realizing quite why he has been invited. Suppose Robert and Jacqueline are secret lovers, and consequently determined that Jacqueline will NOT leave for the weekend. Suppose the cook has to pretend to be the mistress and the mistress is unable to cook. Suppose everyone's alibi gets confused with everyone else's. An evening of hilarious confusion ensues as Bernard and Robert improvise at breakneck speed. “Don't Dress for Dinner” is a two-act play by French playwright Marc Camoletti, who wrote the farce Boeing-Boeing. The play has been adapted for English audiences by Robin Hawdon. This production is performed by special arrangement with Samuel French. Performance only tickets are $25 (adults) and $5 (students) (Recommended for ages 14+). Roast Baron of Beef dinner tickets are $35. For tickets, please contact the Box Office at 780-872-7400, Monday to Friday, 9:30 am to 3:30 pm.

Tickets Now Available for our Limited Edition 2014 Wine Tasting Event..

POINTS TO PONDER

* A stitch in time saves nine what?* After eating, do amphibians have to

wait one hour before getting out of the water?

* Are female moths called myths?* Are part-time band leaders

semi-conductors?* Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?* Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use

too much artificial sweetener?* Where in the nursery rhyme does it say

Humpty Dumpty is an egg?* Where is Old Zealand?

Baby Bean03.11.14

Wednesday

Mar. 19

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Programs and support for your pregnancy, birth, postpartum and parenting journey

FoodVille * Crochet Corner * The MotherHoodBirth Cafe * Healing Mama’s group

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Ten Things ...I wish every woman knew about induction of labour In modern western culture, most women know about induction of labour before they even become pregnant. They know that it is suggested when it is felt that it would be safer for the baby to be born than to stay inside its mother, and I suspect many women know that one of the main reasons for recommending induction of labour is because pregnancy has lasted for a certain number ofweeks and the baby is perceived to be ‘overdue’. Many women will know a good few other women who will have had their births medically induced, and so they are likely to know that other reasons are sometimes given for this. These reasons include that the woman is older than average, that her waters have broken early and/or that she has a health problem or condition which is felt to necessitate the bringing on of her labour. But this is not the whole story, and there are many, many other aspects to the decision that some women need to consider about whether or not to have their labour medically induced1. It’s not like normal labourInduced labour is very di�erent from labour that starts spontaneously. Synthetic hormones don’t trigger the release of a woman’s own natural pain-relieving substances as her own hormones would and they come with a range of possible side e�ects, which means a woman whose labour is being induced needs to be monitored more closely. The increased monitoring can lead to the woman being less able to move around, which can increase her pain and stress, and this can quickly lead to a woman feeling that things have spiralled out of her control.2. It’s painfulThe contractions caused by prostaglandin gels, which are often given as the �rst stage of medical induction, can become really sharp really quickly, but without having any measurable e�ect. This can have a negative e�ect on women’s experiences, and it is easy to become tired and/or disillusioned more quickly than if they were in spontaneous early labour. Oxytocin-induced contractions can also be very strong, and there is often less time to get used to these than when labour starts spontaneously. In addition, the increased number of vaginal examinations and other interventions can create additional pain or discomfort.3. It’s a package dealIt is not that anyone wants to prevent a woman from making the decisions that are right for her. It is that the drugs used to induce labour are powerful substances that block a woman’s own hormones and that can cause problems or the woman and baby. It is the e�ect of these drugs that needs to be measured, monitored and compensated for in induced labour. If a woman is concerned that aspects of induction are not what she wants, then it might be better for her to consider whether induction is really necessary in the �rst place.4. Stretching and sweeping isn’t benignNowadays, many areas have introduced a policy of o�ering women a ‘stretch and sweep’ at a certain point in pregnancy in the hope that this will reduce the number of women who go on to have medical induction. A stretch and sweep can cause discomfort, bleeding and irregular contractions, and in some of the studies this intervention only brings labour forward by about 24 hours. 5. ‘Natural induction’ is an oxymoronEither we are awaiting spontaneous labour as nature intended, or we are trying to interfere and bring it on earlier than it would otherwise have occurred. Sometimes there is good reason to try to bring labour on, but if a woman takes any one of the range of things that are purported to bring on labour, then she is aiming to induce her labour with non-medical means. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, but I think that, particularly because we exist in a culture that continually devalues women’s bodily processes, it is important to be clear about what our intention is.6. It is NOT the lawThere are no laws that state what a pregnant woman must or must not do.7. It’s not ‘just a trickle’This is a powerful drug and needs to be respected as such. It can cause fetal distress, and in fact in some areas the practice is to keep increasing the amount of syntocinon that women receive until the baby reacts, and only then turn it down as it is considered that the appropriate level has been found. But even where this is not done and the syntocinon is only increased until contractions are e�ective, it is a drug that needs to be given respect and its potential e�ects should not be minimised by professionals, whether intentionally or otherwise.8. Women don’t fail. Inductions and systems doThis one pretty much speaks for itself. Induction doesn’t always work, and this is not the fault of the woman. I wish I could reassureall women who have had an induction that was unsuccessful that there was nothing wrong with them or their bodies. This is another case where some of the language used in the maternity ser vices really needs to be reconsidered.9. The post-term risk is later, lower and less preventable than people think.The outcomes experienced by women who awaited spontaneous labour and by women whose labour was induced were so similar that none of the individual studies that compared induction with non-induction were able to show a bene�t to induction in their �ndings. It is really questionable as to whether current policies of suggesting induction for post-term pregnancy before 42 completed weeks confer any real bene�t. 10. The risks for older women are not as clear-cut as is often suggestedIt is true that some studies suggest that there may be a correlation between increased maternal age and an increase in certain types of complications, but there are a number of reasons to be cautious about this. Women who are older are often o�ered monitoring and intervention in abundance, and this can cause complications and are more likely to have other health challenges it is hard to tell whether these problems and/or their age are the cause of any problems.

There are not ten but literally tens of things that we wish women knew, but at least this is a start. You can �nd out more on most of these areas (and many more) in the AIMS book, Inducing Labour: making informed decisions. Our focus now is on getting this information out to more women before they make their decision.

By Sara Wickham For the full article and list of references please visit http://www.sarawickham.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/AIMS-Ten

www.birthritelloydminster.org

Doula Services & Prenatal workshops

When you change the way you view birththe way you birth will change-Marie Mongan

Register for a class orBook your FREE Doula meeting today!

 

 

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HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

* Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.* Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”* If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.* Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.* Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”* Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”* Practice making fax and modem noises.* Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.* Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.* Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.* Staple pages in the middle of the page.

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

* Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.* Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”* If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.* Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.* Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”* Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”* Practice making fax and modem noises.* Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.* Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.* Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.* Staple pages in the middle of the page.

Staff Get TogethersBirthday Parties

Stags & StagettesSchool Activites

Book Your Party Now!!

5744 - 44 St Lloydminster780-875-0110 or 780-872-9677

www.bordercityfurniture.com

ACTUAL WD-40 USES: 1. Protects silver from tarnishing. 2. Removes road tar and grime from cars. 3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings. 4. Gives floors that ‘just-waxed’ sheen without making them slippery. 5. Keeps flies off cows. (I love this one!) My farm days are over except for a visit! 6. Restores and cleans chalkboards. 7. Removes lipstick stains. 8. Loosens stubborn zippers. 9. Untangles jewelry chains. 10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks. 11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill. 12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing. 13. Removes tomato stains from clothing. 14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots. 15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors. 16. Keeps scissors working smoothly. 17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes

MY WORD!!!BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

KLEENEX: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

THE MOST…The country that consumes the most soft drinks: USA

The country that eats the most chocolate: United Kingdom

The country that eats the most ice cream: New Zealand

The country that eats the most meat: Spain

The country that eats the most bread: Turkey

The country that drinks the most energy drinks: Japan

The country that drinks the most bottled water: United Arab Emirates

PRODUCT WARNINGS:

”Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet.” -- In the information booklet.

”Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.” -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

”For external use only!” -- On a curling iron.

”Warning: This product can burn eyes.” -- On a curling iron.

”Do not use in shower.” -- On a hair dryer.

”Do not use while sleeping.” -- On a hair dryer.

”Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.” -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

”This product not intended for use as a dental drill.” -- On an electric rotary tool.

”Caution: Do not spray in eyes.” -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

”Do not drive with sunshield in place.” -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

”Not intended for highway use.” -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

”Warning: May contain small parts.” -- On a frisbee.

Another busy day

at the office.Get expert advice today.

1.866.825.3301

1. In “Guitar Hero: Aerosmith”, how many open-ing acts do you have to play before you play as Aerosmith in each area?A) one B) twoC) none D) three2. What was the last “Guitar Hero” game devel-oped by Harmonix?A) Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80’sB) Guitar Hero 2C) Guitar HeroD) Guitar Hero: Aerosmith3. Which is the only fictional guitarist that you battle?A) SlashB) Joe PerryC) Tom MoreloD) Lou4. What songs have the loading screen say “Good Luck”?A) “Raining Blood” and “Love in an Elevator”B) “Through the Fire and Flames” and “Kings and Queens”C) All of the guitar battlesD) “Through the Fire and Flames” and “Dream On”

5. Which game has “Free Bird” as the final song?A) Guitar HeroB) Guitar Hero 2C) Guitar Hero 3D) Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80’s6. What is not a song in the original “Guitar Hero”?A) “I Wanna be Sedated”B) “Iron Man”C) “War Pigs”D) “Bark at the Moon”7. What are Ho’s and Po’s?A) Hammer-off’s and Pull-on’sB) Hammer-off’s and Pull-off’sC) Hammer-on’s and Pull-on’sD) Hammer-on’s and Pull-off’s8. Who is not a character in the original “Guitar Hero”?A) PandoraB) Izzy SparksC) Clive WinstonD) The Grim Ripper

1.B, 2.A, 3.D, 4.B, 5.B, 6.C, 7.D, 8.C

* It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times! * Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women!* One gallon of used motor oil can ruin approximately one million gallons of fresh water!* Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!* Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating!* The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth.* Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia!* Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada!

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,”

said the professor to the student from Arkansas, “What is the opposite of joy?”

“Sadness,” said the student.

And the opposite of depression?” he asked of

the young lady from Oklaho-ma.

“Elation,” said she.

“And you sir,” he said to the young man from Texas,

“how about the opposite of woe?”

The Texan replied, “Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up.”

Real Stories Reported By Flight Crews

> A flight Attendant’s comment on a less than perfectlanding: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain

Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

> Another flight Attendant after a particularly bumpy flight: “Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of

our airplane to the gate!

> “As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be

distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

> “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... unfortunately none of them are on this flight!”

> “This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system thatmonitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full & complete stop at

the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft.”

The Smith’s were very proud of their family & they decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children & grandchildren. So the family hired a fine author to put together their research notes.

Only one problem arose - how to handle great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair?

The author said not to worry, he would handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared, & at this point said... “Great Uncle George occupied a chair of applied electron-ics at an important Government Institution. He was attached to his position by the strongest of ties &

his death came as a great shock.”--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------During a time of slowdown, we can sympathize with the owner of a small country store in a small,

sparsely populated town.

A recent graduate of a prestigious business school, eager to show off his new knowledge, came through.

“How’s business?” he asked the owner.

“Not very good,” the tired looking man answered.

“Well, what’s your next step?” asked the business major. “What’s your plan to rectify the situation?”

“Well,” said the owner dryly, “I’ve never made enough in this business to stick with it, but I’ve never lost enough to get out of it. I’m hoping to do one or the other this year.”

The Smith’s were very proud of their family & they decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children & grandchildren. So the family hired a fine author to put together their research notes.

Only one problem arose - how to handle great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair?

The author said not to worry, he would handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared, & at this point said... “Great Uncle George occupied a chair of applied electron-ics at an important Government Institution. He was attached to his position by the strongest of ties &

his death came as a great shock.”--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------During a time of slowdown, we can sympathize with the owner of a small country store in a small,

sparsely populated town.

A recent graduate of a prestigious business school, eager to show off his new knowledge, came through.

“How’s business?” he asked the owner.

“Not very good,” the tired looking man answered.

“Well, what’s your next step?” asked the business major. “What’s your plan to rectify the situation?”

“Well,” said the owner dryly, “I’ve never made enough in this business to stick with it, but I’ve never lost enough to get out of it. I’m hoping to do one or the other this year.”

Michelle HamiltonREGISTERED PSYCHOLOGIST

Professional Counselling Services, EMDR

780.808.1593www.beyond-balance.com

michelle@beyond-balance.com

 

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Highlights from the Oct. 27, 2014 regular City Council meeting

• Mayor Rob Saunders recognized and thanked Dick Arie for his years of dedication and volunteerism with the Lloydminster Cultural & Science Centre. Mr. Arie volunteered as a board member for the Lloydminster Cultural & Science Centre and was involved in a wide range of projects over the past 20 years.

• November 20, 2014 was proclaimed as National Child Day. The week of November 5 to 11, 2014 was proclaimed as Veteran’s Week and Saturday, Nov. 1, 2014 as Poppy Day. The month of November has been declared Family Violence Prevention Month.

• The second and third reading of the Debenture Bylaw (30-2014) was approved for the completion of the wastewater upgrade preliminary design. The bylaw is for the issuance of a debenture in the amount of $2.5 million.

• The Weaver Park Campground Caretaker Agreement has been extended to 2016. City Council approved an increase to $14,000 for the monthly fee for services. The contractor will maintain a residence on site for 12 months of the year to carry out all of the park duties outlined in the agreement.

• The Off-leash Dog Park – Pilot Project will continue to be available for local users. City Council approved the temporary designation of the green space located at 41 Street and 47 Avenue as an off-leash dog area until a permanent location is determined for the park and/ or future development is planned for the parcel of land. The park was opened as a pilot project from Tuesday, July 8 to Friday, Oct. 31, 2014, during which time public feedback was collected via the Lloydminster Off-Leash Dog Park – Pilot Project Survey. The complete results of the survey are available at lloydminster.ca/dogpark.

• City Council approved Bylaw 33-2014 to update the Taxi Bylaw (No. 16-76). Bylaw 33-2014 outlines the process by which all Lloydminster taxicabs are to be inspected and features updated information regarding offenses, penalties, appeals and penalty amounts.

• The City will begin proceedings for the application of title for five properties with outstanding property taxes, in accordance with the Tax Enforcement Act of Saskatchewan. A sixth Saskatchewan property has had a lien registered since 2009; the process for this property will be escalated to the next step of Tax Enforcement Act of Saskatchewan. An additional 52 Saskatchewan properties have tax arrears and qualify for further tax enforcement procedures (tax liens) in 2014.

• Council instructed the City Clerk to prepare a bylaw to amend Bylaw 12-2001, the Zoning Bylaw, as follows: that Part G-Zoning Districts Regulations; Section 13-R3 Low Density Residential; #2 Density be amended to change the maximum density from 37.5 units per net hectare to 50 units per net hectare. Draft Bylaw 34-2014 is available for review at lloydminster.ca/bylaws. A public hearing will be held on Monday, Nov. 24.

• The Budget 2015: Citizen Engagement Survey was launched to provide citizens with an opportunity to be involved in the budget process. The survey includes a series of questions regarding the City’s operating budget and associated services, capital project priorities, budget strategies and property taxes. The deadline to complete the survey is Monday, Nov. 17, 2014. The survey is available online at lloydminster.ca/budget. Paper copies of the survey are also available at a number of City facilities. City Council and administration will use the results of the Budget 2015: Citizen Engagement Survey to prepare the 2015 Operating and Capital Budget. The results of the survey will be shared at the December City Council meeting.

For city council minutes and agendas, visit lloydminster.ca and click on ‘Government.’

The next regular City Council meeting is Monday, Nov. 10 1:30pm in Council

Chamber.

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. “Throw out more!” shouts

the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. “More!” he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control.

He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying. They ask him why he’s crying and he says

“A pistol hit me on the head!”

They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says,

“A rifle hit me on the head!”

They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the side-walk who’s laughing hysterically.

They ask him, “Kid, what’s so funny?”

The boy replies, “I sneezed and a house blew up!”

Please join us...

Christmas by the SeaChristmas by the SeaDessert Night & Fundraiser For The REFUGE!Dessert Night & Fundraiser For The REFUGE!

Friday, November 21NewLife Community ChurchDoors Open 6:30 pmTickets: $10.00/person

Tickets Available From:Amy Leschinski 780-522-9961VersesNewLife Communnity Church306-825-4444

God is working miracles through His ministry in Ensenada, Mexico, The Refuge. Come for our Dessert Night & Fundraiser to hear about some of the ministries and the ways that you can be involved.

• Home for abused/disadvantaged girls• Visiting Groups• Building Projects• Children’s Food Program• Migrant Camp Ministry

Randy, Sandy Huebert & The Team

Friday, November 21NewLife Community ChurchDoors Open 6:30 pmTickets: $10.00/person

Tickets Available From:Amy Leschinski 780-522-9961VersesNewLife Communnity Church306-825-4444

Everything I’ve ever learned, I learned from Star Wars

* Never trust men in dark helmets.* It really isn’t necessary to be fluent in over 6 million forms of communication.* When all else fails....jump!* If you are a young hero, nothing can kill you.* You may have family members in surprisingly high positions.* Before you kill someone make sure they aren’t your father.* Watch out for Corellian freighters diving out of the sun.* Know the difference between power socket and a computer terminal.* THIS one goes there, and THAT one goes there!* No matter how tasty that hunk of meat looks on that pole on that forest moon, don’t grab it; it’s probably a trap. * Cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can prove you’re a god.* No disintegrations.* If you’re running from the law, hide in a building and lock the door. They may decide to move on to the next one. Otherwise, hope they don’t have blasters.* If it’s, like, -50 degrees out, and the doors are going to close, come in out of the cold. The meteor will still be there tomorrow.* Take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your binoculars.