softball coaching avoid becoming a nattering nabob of negativity

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Softball Coaching: Avoid Becoming A Nattering Nabob of Negativity

Hard to believe that it wasn’t so long ago that fastpitch softball was agame played by kids for the – wait for it – fun of it. Sure, there were a fewadults around regularly in the form of coaches and umpires, and parentswould regularly come out to see them play if they weren’t working.

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All that seems like some sort of pastoral dream, like a Norman Rockwellpainting of America as we always imagined it should be. Today parentsseem to be way too wrapped up in their children’s athletic endeavors.













Some are unabashed boosters/braggarts for their kids. You never want tobe cornered by them lest they start to regale you with tales of Lindsay’smight line drive, or the diving catch Erin made in center field, or the 13 KsAlice racked up in her last appearance in the circle. Still, they’re relativelyharmless.













The ones who are of real concern are the ones who go the other way –fitting former Vice President Spiro Agnew’s description of “natteringnabobs of negativity.” Unlike the boosters, these parents only see theirkids’ failures – and they make sure their kids hear about so they’re“inspired” to improve their performance the next time.













That’s a category that, as a parent, you definitely don’t want to fall into.Yet it seems to come naturally to some. Perhaps they don’t realize howthey sound (or look, because they’re usually scowling). Perhaps they thinkthey’re setting high standards for their kids.













But the fact is nothing can take the enjoyment out of an activity like anadult you trust – like a parent – telling you how bad you are at something.Now, I’m not saying you have to blow sunshine up their softball pants. Butthere are ways to get a point across without being quite so negative aboutit.













Take the evaluation of a hitting performance. Let’s say the player had acouple of weak hits that got her on base, plus a legitimate hit or two.Rather than focusing on the failures and the mis-hits, you could say “youtook some good swings, and at least you were making contact.













As has been said many times before, fastpitch softball is a game built onfailure. Great hitters fail seven out of 10 times. A brain freeze here, anerrant rock there and you can quickly become the goat for the day. Andbelieve it or not, adults, kids know when they’ve screwed up.













Instead of harping on it or replaying it, the best thing you can do is put anarm around her shoulder and let her know that home run or strikeout, nohitter or pulled early, she’s still your daughter and you still love her. Spendas much time talking about what she did right as what she did wrong –maybe more – and you’ll be surprised how her performance actuallyimproves.













Focus on the positives and support your player no matter what. Even ifshe never becomes the star you hoped she’d be when you signed her up,the two of you will have a much better relationship for it. She’ll be yourdaughter far longer than she’ll ever be a softball player.









softball coaching avoid becoming a nattering nabob of negativity

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