The Old Funeral HomeBy Darlene Hope Long

C 20141

BUDDY WOKE with a start as thunder boomed through the house and suddenly sheets of rain descended on the roof with a roar. He looked out his window and saw the big willow tree swaying behind the house and in a flash of lightning he saw the long limbs hanging down and swaying in the storm like a huge monster walking slowly toward the house. Buddy shivered as he looked out at it and he saw the rain forming pools on the ground.

Then the rain quit falling and Buddy saw the tree standing and swaying gently. He began to wonder if he was brave enough to go outside and get near the tree. He had never thought of trying it before, and the thought gave him a thrill of fear.

Slowly sneaking down the hall of the house, Buddy passed the room where his mother and father were sleeping and he crept outside. He eased himself across the ground slowly and looked into the darkness of the back yard, across the ditch and at the hanging, brooding arms of the willow tree.

Buddy walked toward it and it seemed as if the tree was coming toward him, like a huge black phantom looming over head.

As Buddy moved toward the willow, he began to feel fear gnaw him inside and he saw how big and frightening the towering willow was in the dark, more than it had ever been before. Buddy felt a shiver so strong it shook his whole body and in the distant sky thunder let out a growl as if standing behind the tree, waiting for him to come closer, closer…

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Suddenly there was a crash of thunder so loud and hard the ground shook and the wind picked up, blasting into the willow tree in front of him and the long arms raised and flew out toward him in the wind. There was a flash of lightning that filled the sky and Buddy felt a burst of utter terror and jumped into the air, spinning around and running to the house as he heard something hiss at him and turned to see something white fly up off the ground and come at him. It loomed over his head, stretched out and flapped into his face, and with a panic, Buddy ripped it away and threw it. He did not see that it was a piece of paper as he ran into his house, to his room, and sat on his bed shivering violently.

Buddy lay under his blankets and shivered till he ached and finally fell asleep.

When he woke up it was morning and his mother was standing in the doorway.

“Buddy get up. Mark and Gerald are here and I don’t want them in the house while I’m working on the project for the church. Take your jacket, it’s still trying to rain and don’t get all muddy.”

Buddy got up and stretched. Mark was a small weasel of a boy and Gerald was a thin, frail kid who seemed to eat all the time and still be hungry.

Buddy joined them outside and Gerald crunched down the last of a bag of chips and said “we gotta hurry and get the rest of the stuff for Mr. Nikoson’s class.

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The boys walked off down the road and as they walked away from his house, Buddy turned and looked back at the towering willow tree. It was standing, tall against the dark gray clouds that still filled the air with a chill and a smell of rain.

“So what do we have to get now?” Gerald asked as Mark looked at the list.

“Um, it says here we are supposed to find some sort of small machine or motor to take apart and explain how it works. Billy Williams has a motor from an old lawn mower, Joe has a propeller from a toy plane and Gene has a cast metal pistol.”

“That figures, the gun nut brings a gun. Seems simple though, how is he going to explain how it works?” Buddy asked.

Gerald laughed. “He’ll probably talk about gun powder and how it’s made, with a little luck he’ll set off the smoke alarms and they’ll lock down the school. That would be fun.”

Mark looked thoughtful. “Well we could drive one of the cars to school and talk about how the engine and air conditioner work.” He kidded.

“I got an idea we can take some metal cans, make what looks like a nuclear bomb out of it and use a road flare to…”

“Okay guys…” Buddy cut in, “this is all fun and silly but we need a real idea that we can take to school and not get fifteen years for terrorism charges.” Gerald and Mark began to laugh out loud.

As the three boys walked they came to an old house that seemed to grow out of the ground and in the driveway was an

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old car with huge headlights and a really square body. They walked toward it and were looking at it when a little old lady walked out of the front door of the house. The boys heard Mark say “There’s a project, let’s take her to school and try to figure out how she keeps working.”

Gerald and Buddy were trying to stop smirking when the old lady walked up to them. “If one of you three lads had about twenty five I’ll let you take her home if you can see over the dash.” The old lady joked. Mark giggled. “How about you let me drive it to town and back and if I make it you let me have the car?”

“No, young feller, if you drove it you’d run smack over me.”

“I wouldn’t want to do that.” Mark replied. The old woman smiled. “At my age with all my health problems you would be doing me a favor.” She joked. “Now why are you three boys out here in weather like this?” She asked. Buddy spoke up. “We have to have a discussion project ready for school Monday, just some kind of contraption we can tell everyone how it works.”

“Well how bout some hand grenades?” I have a box of them in the garage.” The boys suddenly looked excited and the old lady began to laugh. “I’m kidding boys, but I couldn’t help it. I knew young boys would get excited over that.” She said.

The boys exchanged looks. The old lady got serious. “Okay, enough silliness. Listen, there is an old mortuary up yonder down old Willow lane road, and if you go snooping around that old place there’s bound to be something interesting there. There

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hasn’t been a soul out that way in years, since they started that rumor that ghosts were wandering around that dump. You boys could go snoop and either find something neat or just get a good scare.”

The boys looked puzzled and Gerald asked “why are you telling us this? Shouldn’t you be warning us to stay away?” As the old lady turned to go toward her house she winked. “I was an adventurous young girl at one time. And a cute one too.” She smiled. “Yeah that WAS a long long…long…long time ago.” She giggled and walked back into her house. The boys still looked puzzled and Mark laughed. “What a neat old goat!” He said.

Mark, Gerald and Buddy were fascinated at what the old lady had told them and they began walking toward old Willow Road. They found it, an overgrown road, barely more than a trail that came off the main road they lived on and snaked through a fence and off into some trees.

“She’s messing with us, there isn’t an old mortuary down there and we all know it. She was having fun teasing us, just like telling us she had some grenades.” Gerald said. Mark shook his head. “No. I know she was telling the truth about some of it.”

“How?” Buddy asked.

Mark smiled. “Because she said she was cute, and you know that was a long, long…long…loooooooong time ago!” They all began to laugh.

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The boys began to walk into the dense grass and they followed what once had been a road as it wound into nothing, leaving them standing in a field that had trees standing here and there. They were about to turn back, thinking the old woman had lied to them when Mark jumped up, yelled There it is!” and began bounding toward a set of rotting, tall old trees that framed an old wooden two story house with an iron fence around it.

The house stood in the middle of tall, dried grass and as the boys walked, bugs jumped, buzzed and flew every direction. A snake slithered away from them and Mark watched it go.

Buddy stood and stared at the tall old structure and nodded. “Well I doubts very muchly if we will find anything useful, but this place sure looks interustin anyhoo.” He said jokingly.

The boys walked toward the hold place and as they drew near, its dark windows seemed to hint at hidden secrets. Mark skittered off around a back corner and Gerald walked with Buddy, slowly, cautiously thoughtfully looking at the place.

Gerald looked in and Buddy asked excitedly, “what do you see, what do you see?!”

Gerald said “it looks like your mom.”

Buddy growled at him and they both peered into the darkness, then moved to another window. They looked into the blackness, and as they stared and the light seeped into the room, they saw a figure in a black cape begin to walk into the room. Both boys stared at the figure, transfixed, as it moved into the room, slowly, and then stopped, just standing for a moment. It stood

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like a statue, and Gerald was studying it’s black, phantom shape when it suddenly moved toward the window with great speed and the cape was thrown aside. Gerald let out a panicked yell and smashed into Buddy, who was crawling backward from the window so hard he lost one shoe. In the window, Mark looked out at the boys, then began to jump up and down laughing as Gerald and Buddy angrily got up and scolded him.

Mark opened he window, still laughing and yelled “You two mommy’s boys are scared of everything except little bugs! The back door is open!”

The two boys recovered themselves and muttered angrily as they went into the back door of the old house. They walked in and found themselves in the middle of a wooden, Victorian house, filled with the smell of mold, rotten wood, peeling wall paper and other foul odors. There were some chairs scattered around the rooms, their cloth torn and split from years of use, stuffing falling onto the ground from mice making beds, and the wall paper had designs on it that looked like weird, inhuman eyes that stared at them as they walked.

There was an old clock that had wood splintered and hanging in shreds from it’s sides and for a brief second Buddy was sure he saw a woman’s face in the clock face.

As they walked around, all three boys were disappointed to see some doors that were locked. Mark kicked and punched one door, and suddenly it opened and the boys stood and stared into the garage, where a hearse was sitting, it’s tires flat, it’s old, rotting curtains hanging in shreds in the windows.

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“Now THAT’S worth the trip out here!” Mark yelled.

Gerald and Buddy were very pleased at this turn of events. Nothing like finding a creepy old car in an empty house. Buddy looked at the old hearse. “I’d be so happy to have this crazy thing for my first car.” He said.

The boys walked around the hearse and Mark began jumping up and down as if he was about to open a birthday surprise.

Inside the hearse was a casket. “This just keeps getting better!” Mark yelled.

Buddy shook his head. “As much as I know you want to find old man Smith crawling with worms, that casket is going to be an old empty one, probably stored there and rented for fall or

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something.” Mark leaned on the hearse and glared at Buddy. “You just have to ruin this for me, don’t you?” He said.

Gerald looked at Mark, puzzled. “What’s up with you anyhow?” He asked. Buddy replied “Ever hear of dementia? He considers it a gift.”

The boys opened the door to the hearse’s casket cabin and pulled the casket out, and opening the lid. There was nothing in it except rotting paper fabric and stench.

Buddy looked in the cab, and then got in. He fished around, and then looked at the steering column. “Wow. They left the key in this thing.” He said. Gerald shrugged. “My dad does that. Who’s going to come out here and mess with an old hearse?” Both boys paused then said in unison “Mark.”

Buddy pumped the gas pedal a few times and turned the key. The engine was silent. Buddy looked at Mark. “Sorry dude.”

The wind picked up outside and suddenly there was a flash of lightning and ear splitting thunder. Buddy heard his phone ring and answered to hear his mother on the other end. “Where are you, Buddy, are you indoors? Are you in the rain? Are you someplace you can be safe?”

Buddy looked wide eyed. “Um, indoors, yes, no, and yes.”

The phone was cut off then and lost it’s signal. As the boys stood in the garage next to the old hearse, a sizzling bolt of lightning flashed down and hit a tree at the end of the yard. With a loud bang, the tree fell down and hit the ground, with

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limbs snapping off and bouncing. All three of the boys stared in awe and chorused “cooooool!”

Gerald smiled. I never saw lightning strike before. That rocked totally.”

The roof to the garage began to leak and the boys ran indoors. As they did, the room seemed to get very dark and the boys shrank toward the back of the house. Gerald looked serious. “Dudes, methinks we may get hit with a tor-nader.”

Buddy puffed nervously. “I’m glad mom called, at least I don’t have to stress about that.”

Mark grinned. “A tornado hitting an old mortuary! What a way to go!” Gerald and Buddy stared at him. “What?!” Mark asked.

There was suddenly a sound behind them as thunder rumbled outside, and the boys turned to see a door swinging back and forth as if a breeze was blowing it. As thunder rumbled outside and the house echoed with the sounds of rain hitting in waves, and wind howling.

Buddy and Gerald stood and stared, but Mark walked forward with an impish smile. Behind him, Buddy commented “Mark rushes in…” Gerald finished his sentence. “…where angels fear to tread.”

In a few moments Mark was making such excited yells and bouncing around so much the boys went into the room to see what the fuss was about. Suddenly they were filled with surprise and fear at the same time.

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The room had two ovens in it with the doors open and some tables where embalming had been done. There was an assortment of old, dusty and worn embalming tools scattered around and bottles of various fluids.

Gerald looked around the room. “Wow. This place must have just wound down and quit, then the owners just up and left.”

“Retired, probably, or died.” Buddy said.

Mark giggled like a little girl. “Some of this stuff is going home with me.” Gerald had time to remark “You sick puppy.” When there was a roll of thunder that shook the house and the room filled with the sounds of voices, disjointed, chaotic, and all of them seeming to talk at once.

The boys suddenly huddled close together as the room filled with sound and misty vapors began to come out of the ovens, off of the tables, and out of parts of the room. Buddy sounded afraid as he said “We disturbed something.”

The room began to be filled with swirling, dancing misty forms and voices echoed off of the walls. The room was filled with old women, old men, young people, arguing, talking, all of them flashing past and drifting through the boys, cold and windy, as the thunder rolled outside.

The three boys ran out of the room, and Mark was giggling insanely. Buddy opened the front door, but the rain was coming down with fury, and wind was blowing with gale force. A gust caught the door and slammed it shut, knocking him backward as it did it.

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There were howls of ghostly noise as the spirits of the many people drifted through the house. An old man and woman were standing, misty, in front of the couch, and they could hear the woman yelling but they could not understand any words.

Buddy got up and ran for the back of the house, but skidded to a stop, frozen in terror s the form of a ghostly woman drifted down the hall toward him.

As she moved, Buddy got a very good look at her and he began to take small steps backward.

Gerald just stood in his tracks and stared, looking around the rest of the place, watching phantoms drift in and out, unable to believe his eyes.

Mark did not seem too concerned and he walked past Buddy down the hall toward the ghostly figure. He walked slowly toward the woman as the howling wind knocked the windows open and rain came in, soaking the floor.

Mark walked up to the figure and put out his hand. Buddy and Gerald stood in shock behind him and whispered together, “whoah!”

They were still backing up as Mark put his hand into what seemed to be thin air. He moved it around, then he came back toward the other two boys as the figure of the woman was surrounded by swirling faces and misty figures of the other phantoms that flowed out of the embalming room.

Mark walked up to Buddy and Gerald who were regarding him with wide eyes, and he said. “It’s like she isn’t there. She really

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is pretty though, isn’t she?

Buddy and Gerald just stared at him. Suddenly the other phantoms began to swirl away and in their midst appeared a tall

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black shadow of a man. He wore a hat, and they could see his eyes blazing with fire as he clearly looked at them.

The man began to move forward and the boys ran for the front door as all of the windows slammed shut and they found the door closed tight.

The ghostly woman and the other ghosts faded and the dark man came close to the boys, who fought the door fiercely, crying out in fear as they tried in vain to get the door open.

Soon the dark man stood right behind them and Buddy and Gerald began to scream in terror at this phantom who was focusing his attention on them.

Mark took one step, then two and was at last standing in front of the shadowy man. “Leave us alone!” He shouted. The figure leg out a deep angry sound as Buddy and Gerald shivered. Mark stepped forward and swished his hand through the figure and turned to the two boys. “They’re ghosts! This guy can’t hurt you if you aren’t afraid of him, you have to believe he can! Stop being afraid!”

Gerald and Buddy stepped forward and looked at the figure, who must have been one of the evil people brought here long ago.

They felt their fear subside, and the figure roared at them in anger, then suddenly bounced off the walls and vanished into the floor.

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Suddenly Buddy and Gerald were no longer afraid of the ghosts in the old mortuary. They walked among the drifting phantoms, fascinated by them.

At last, the storm began to blow itself out, and Buddy got on the phone to his mother. He told her to call the other parents and let them know they were fine.

“Have you been alone with your friends all this time or are you with others?” She asked. Buddy grinned. “Others mom, lots and lots of others.”

MONDAY MORNING the students were ready with their projects. There were little engines, motors, contraptions and gadgets everywhere.

Billy Williams had his engine all figured out and gave a nice speech on how it worked, how the fuel worked and even the history of the engines. Very imaginative, it was.

Jimmie had a motor from a train set and he ran it around and talked about the little electric motor.

Mr. Nikoson stood for a moment and spoke to the class.

“Young people, this lass is intended to get you go think, to use your imagination and to stimulate you to think about what you are looking at. So far I am very pleased. Now who wants to go next?” He smiled.

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The class sat in shocked, silent awe and Mr. Nikoson was no longer smiling as Mark proudly got ready to explain his project…an old embalming machine.

It was three weeks later before the boys got together again and went to Mark’s house to hang out and watch some movies. As Gerald and Buddy walked into the house they came through the garage and stopped short. Thee in the garage with it’s hood up and tools on it’s fenders was the hearse. Mark smiled. “It’s a long story, but for now just let me say, my dad likes cool exotic stuff too.”

Buddy looked at Mark for a second. “Next you’re going to tell us your dad is buying the land that has the funeral home on it.” Mark just looked at them for a moment without saying a word.

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