From the Ed: Summer has arrived. How did I know you're probablywondering? You must be a weatherman I bet you'rethinking! Nope, I saw the looks on all the parents facesthis month, you know, the 'oh s#@t!' kinda look, 'herewe go again'. The summers can be long and hot andeven longer if your kids are driving you up the wall. Wellwe have a few tips for you that can make all thedifference on pages 52/53.They won't break the purse strings and they might justsave you from insanity, can you afford not to?Talking of summer activities, I found myself playingTennis doubles the other Sunday morning (that'll teachme for opening my big mouth in the pub). After the guyshad managed to get over their fits of laughter from megoing over 'arse over tits' in the warmup, we actuallymanaged to complete a set. By the second set theblurred vision had kicked in, unfortunately the secondwind hadn't! So it was almost a relief to see Rick hit theground in pain (a bit of a breather I thought). I didn'tknow I was gonna have to carry him to the car, well thatpretty much finished me off. Turned out he wasn't sogood either, a snapped archilles tendon, ouch!!One and a half hours of tennis, Rick was on his way tohospital and me, well I must be fitter than I thought cos4 days later I was back on my feet walking again. Sonext time someone says, 'come on the exercise will begood for you', remember, 2 out of 4 tennis playerswouldn't recommend it! I did manage to score the mostdouble faults though, a record I think I will be holding forsome time (don’t ask, we lost count).Finally, I must mention June the 7th as JK's are holdinga STREET PARTY in aid of CHAIN. There will be livemusic from 2pm with Costa Rock and Im & Er. There willalso be plenty for the family with face painting, bouncycastles, games and lots of prizes to be won! For moreinformation see advert page 7 or call Duncan on

951 318 516 / 654 396 651. Happy reading, Geof

We received the following letter this month:Dear readers,Most people think it improper to spank children, so I have triedother methods to control my kids when they have one of 'thosemoments.' One that I found effective is for me to just take thechild for a car ride and talk. Some say it's the vibration from thecar, others say it's the time away from any distractions such asTV, Video Games, Computer, iPod, etc. Either way, my kidsusually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ridetogether. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too. I've included a photo (see bottom of pg52) of one of mysessions with my son, in case you would like to use thetechnique. Sincerely, Your Friend

Tot, 3, buys £8,000 digger

A three year old New Zealand girl bought amechanical digger for £8,000 while herparents were asleep. Pipi Quinlan, loggedonto the family computer and got on to anonline auction site her mum had been usingearlier. She then submitted what turned outto be a winning bid of 20,000 New Zealanddollars for a massive Kobelco digger. Whenher mother woke up and logged onto thecomputer, she saw a series of emails fromthe Trade Me auction site. "It wasn't until Iread the emails that I saw $NZ 20,000 andgot the shock of my life," Ms Quinlan said. "Icalled my husband over to make sure Iwasn't seeing things. The only other personin the house is our 18-month-old son. That'swhen we realised it must have been Pipi. "Ithink she was just clicking on the computerto see what happened," Ms Quinlan said.She called Trade Me and told staff that herdaughter had accidentally made the bid. The

website agreed to cancel the sale and refundthe seller's listing costs.

Record fingernails broken

A US woman with the world's longestfingernails has lost them in a car accident.Lee Redmond, 67, of Salt Lake City, Utah,had been growing her fingernails since 1979.They were the longest in the world accordingto Guinness World Records and were lastmeasured at 33 inches long. But a Salt LakeCounty sheriff's spokesman confirmed theywere broken off in a four-car pileup. In a1995 article, she revealed that she onceturned down $10,000 to trim her nails onJapanese TV.

In The Spotlight:

Stylish Lady

STYLISH LADY has been selling jewelleryand clothes for several years on the CostaBlanca via trade shows and exhibitions,and has supported many local charities attheir regular events.

We are now in the Costa del Sol also, witha brand new web site that’s already gettingbusy – www.stylishlady.co.uk. We stockthe latest styles in jewellery, personalisedgifts and this month sees the introductionof a new hand painted range of glassware.

We are looking for fairs and events todisplay and sell our products, and inparticular charity events, where ourcontribution also helps a worthy cause. Ifthere are any charities out there who haveany forthcoming events then pleasecontact us. We will be very willing to offerour support.

We have worked together with many barsin the Costa Blanca and Costa Cálidadisplaying our products, which has not onlyhelped expand our business but has alsobrought more custom for the bars. If thereare any bar owners here who may want towork with us to help boost both ourbusinesses then please contact us.

Additionally, we have businessopportunities for anyone looking to sell ourproducts, maybe via house or office partiesetc. We have great products to sell andthe ladies most certainly enjoy theatmosphere that such social gatheringsalways bring. Be your own boss and workwhen you want to!

If anyone would like to contact us aboutanything here then please speak toRosemarie on 650 394 816.

See also our advert on page 67

In The Spotlight:

EuroGlaze

Make EuroGlaze first choice for all

your glazing needs. With over 25 yearsexperience and the finest products money canbuy, we specialize in the manufacture &installation of a variety of quality products.Our Glass Curtain system breaks down thetraditional division between exterior andinterior space.The benefits of this system include:

• Utilization of your balcony/terrace all yearround.• Noise Reduction.• No more wind, rain, dust or dirt.• Enjoyment of the winter sun all year round.• Easy Cleaning from inside.• Expansion of you living area.• Increasing the saleability of your home.

It is a unique bottom running system which canbe utilized with a flush bottom track for aseamless threshold. This stylish slidingsystem gives you unobstructed panoramicviews while protecting you from theelements.Using advanced technology, innovativematerials and quality stainless steel fittings, ourglass curtain system is master crafted inelegant clean lines with a superb finish.With all our Glass Curtain projects we will onlyuse 10mm toughened safety glass as standardand we offer all our clients a 10 yearguarantee.Our product range includes:

• Glass Curtains for interior or exteriorseparations.• Unique flying door and locking solutions.• Aluminium windows and doors.• Conservatories.Manufacturers of:• Double glazed sealed units.• Glass Cut to size.

EuroGlaze continually rises to the challenge ofproducing high quality products to satisfy themost demanding customers. We have a solidand ever growing portfolio of discerningcustomers.

Our company is well suited for forging sound,long standing supplier relationships with allits customers, whatever their specific needs.All trade enquiries are welcome.

This month’s ‘around the world’

takes us to ‘Oh Canada!’

Population: 33,657,000

Total Area: 9,984,670 km2 (Second largestcountry in the world, Canada is over 40 timesbigger than the UK and 18 times bigger thanFrance. With only three people per squarekilometer).

Location: North AmericaLanguages: English and FrenchCapital City: OttawaLargest City: TorontoCurrency: Canadian Dollar

Main Exports: Motor vehicles and parts,industrial machinery, aircraft, telecommu-

nications equipment; chemicals, plastics,fertilizers, wood pulp, timber, crudepetroleum, natural gas and electricity.

Life Expectancy: 77 years (men) and 84years (woman).

Famous for Inventing: Trivial Pursuit,Basketball, Television, the Telephone,Instant Mashed Pototoes, Insulin, PaintRoller, Washing Machine, Roller Skate,Frozen Food, the Blackberry, Push Up Bra(Wonder Bra).

Biggest Celebrity: Jim Carrey and AvrilLavigne.

Some real Canadians: John Candy, DanAckroyd, Mike Myers, Martin Short andLeslie Nielsen are all Canadian-born. Alsofamous actors Keanu Reeves, Donald andKiefer Sutherland, Pamela Anderson,Matthew Perry, Jason Priestly and MichaelJ. Fox are all Canadians.

National Sport: Hockey & Lacrosse

World’s Biggest: Canada is the largestcountry in the Western Hemisphere.

Has the longest coastline border with oneother country (the United States - 8890 km’slong).

The Trans-Canada Highway is over 7604km’s in length and is the longest nationalhighway in the entire world.

Canada has the world's highest tertiaryeducation enrolment.

Canadians are guardians of one-fourteenthof the world's land, one-tenth of the world'sforest and one-fifth of the world's wilderness.

Big Bubbles: Canada's largest gummanufacturer, O-Pee-Chee Co., sells morethan 7.5 million pounds of chewing gumannually - enough to blow a bubble twice thesize of the earth!

Amazing but True Laws:

In Beaconsfield, Canada it's considered an

offense to have more than two colours onyour house; and you are not allowed to owna log cabin! In Uxbridge, Ontario it's illegal tohave an internet connection faster than 56k!In Kanata, Ontario, believe this, it's illegal tohave a clothes line in your back yard! InOshawa, Ontario it's illegal to climb trees!

The Canadian law states that every 5th songon the radio must be by a Canadian borncitizen? Well believe it or not it is true!

There's a law on the British Columbia booksthat states if you're a bankrupt drunk who gotthrown into jail, the law requires the jailer tobring you a bottle of beer on demand. Nuts!

And in Toronto you can't drag a dead horsedown Yonge St. on a Sunday.

Things that Canada are good at?:

Ice-breaking, Snow clearing, Staying warm,Peacekeeping, Aerospace Engineering,Making oil out of sand, Recycling & Musicthat always stops just short of making youwant to kill yourself.

There is a city called Rome onevery continent.

About 80% of women wear the wrong sizebra.

Cats spend about 70% of a day sleeping.

There are 10 times more iron in Camel's milkthan cow's milk.

Perth is Australia's windiest city.

Flies jump backwards when they take off.

More money is spent on gardening than onany other hobby.

Toilets use about 30% of indoor water use.

Asia consumes over 19 million barrels of oildaily.

You're born with 300 bones, but by the timeyou become an adult, you only have 206.

Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day!

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice asmuch as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itselfwhen you are standing still.

The average person laughs 10 times a day!

If saliva cannot dissolve something, youcannot taste it.

Mexico City sinks several inches everyyear.

Bratislava and Vienna are the two closestcapital cities in the world, only 40 milesapart.

½ cabbage, shredded1 cup snow peas 1 bunch spring onions, chopped

Base:

Dressing:

Preparation time: 5 minutes

Cooking Time: 15 minutes

Serves: 4 – 6 people

You can never have enough salad I reckonso here’s another tasty one for you thismonth. Some of the ingredients may be awee bit hard to get but it really is worth theeffort – Enjoy!

Enjoy!

½ cup oil¼ cup wine vinegar2 tbsp soy sauce3 tbsp sugarChopped garlic to tasteSeasoning sachets from the 2 minutenoodles (if you have them).

Put all ingredients into a screw top jar andshake well. Keep in the fridge until ready touse.

Pour small amounts of dressing over baseand crunch and mix well. Don’t be too heavyhanded with the dressing as it’s quite strong.You can always add more if required.

Crunch:½ cup slivered almonds½ cup sunflower seeds¼ cup sesame seeds

2 packets of 2 minute noodles (like pot

noodles but withoutthe flavouring).

Toast aboveingredients at 150degrees C for 15minutes, stirfrequently.

Crunchy

Asian Salad

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends andis now growing in the middle. AMNESIA: A condition that enables awoman who has gone through labour to havesex again. ANTIQUE: An item your grandparentsbought, your parents got rid of, and you'rebuying again. AVOIDABLE (uh-voy'-duh-buhl'): What abullfighter tries to do. BARIUM: What we do to most people whenthey die.BATHROOM: A room used by the entirefamily, believed by all except Mum to beself-cleaning. BOSS: Someone who is early when you arelate and late when you are early. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutesand wastes hours. COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake insuch a way that everybody believes he gotthe biggest piece. DICTIONARY: A place where successcomes before work. EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station,Fire Department and Places that deliver. Etc: A sign to make others believe that youknow more than you actually do. FANCY RESTAURANT: One that servescold soup on purpose. FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when thebaby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. GROCERY LIST: What you spend half anhour writing, then forget to take with you tothe store. HAIR DRESSER: Someone who is able tocreate a style you will never be able toduplicate again. IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memoryof labour is still vivid. POLYGON: A dead parrot. SCHOOL TEACHER: A disillusioned personwho used to think they liked children. STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby'spacifier by boiling it and to your last baby'spacifier by blowing on it. VEGETARIAN: Old Indian word for badhunter.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the nextday. During that time we regret thatyou will be unbearable.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave yourvalues at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expectedto complain at the office between the hoursof 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to takeadvantage of the chambermaid.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Ourwines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For yourconvenience, we recommend courageous,efficient self-service.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop yourtrousers here for best results.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of theimpropriety of entertaining guests of theopposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggestedthat the lobby be used for this purpose.

Advertisement for donkey rides in

Thailand: Would you like to ride on yourown ass?

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: Tostop the drip, turn cock to right.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for theladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: Wetake your bags and send them in alldirections.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies arerequested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed theanimals. If you have any suitable food, giveit to the guard on duty.

PoolSchool- Safety around the pool

Pools can be dangerous places, andregular readers of this column will beaware that we install the Katchakid PoolSafety Net here in Spain, but pool safetygoes a lot further than the prevention ofdrowning. F’rinstance. I’m foreveradvising our clients to keep glasses andbottles away from the pool area andhere’s why.

A couple of years ago we were called outto a pool where an accident had takenplace. There had been a pool party theprevious evening and, somehow, a glasshad been left on the steps. When thepump started the morning the jetswashed the glass off the steps and itrolled into the pool. About 11a.m. theteenage son jumped into the shallowend and landed on the glass. The glassshattered under his foot, lacerating hissole and slicing the tendons of his foot.He was hospitalised for emergencysurgery and spent the rest of thesummer hopping about. ‘Not a goodstart to ze ‘oliday’, as the French mightput it. Like so many ex-pats, the familywas not covered by Medical Insurance.That was just the start of their financialtroubles.

Clear glass is invisible in water and so,wishing to avoid further accidents, theparents agreed, over the phone, with ouradvice that the pool should be emptiedto ensure that all remnants of the brokenglass were removed. The pool was onan Urbanisation without main drains andso the pool had to be emptied by tankerlorries at a cost of €520. The tankercompany could not begin the work for aweek or so and in that time the pool went

green (all chlorine having been depletedby the blood in the water), the pH roseand the walls of the pool and thesandfilter became badly calcified.

We carried out the repairs to the pool;we acid-washed the walls, replaced thesand in the filter and arranged for thepool to be re-filled by the same tankerdriver – at a further cost of €660 for thewater. Perhaps in total the whole affaircost the owners somewhere around€5-6000 including the private medicalbills. Quite an expensive party, all in all!

Never take glasses or bottles, or glassashtrays, or lamps, etc. near the pool.The biggest problems in that little list arethe glasses, because the chances ofdropping and breaking a glass rise asthe contents are drained! Useunbreakable barware near the pool.

The advantage of Polycarbonate is thatit is unbreakable in normal use and istherefore safe to use around the pool, itlooks and feels like traditional glass, ismicrowave-safe and good for 2000dishwasher cycles. Click-Clack, whomake their elegant polycarbonate‘glasses’ in New Zealand, guaranteetheir hand-finished products for 5 years.We have a supply of PolycarbonateBarware in stock and a page of ourwebsite dedicated to them. It’s not cheapbut it’s a lot less expensive than thescenario outlined above! Swim safe.

To receive our free, monthly Email PoolsNewsletter, containing tips and seasonalpools advice, send an email, subject‘Subscribe’, to: -newsletter@deep-blue-pools.com Ken Walker is the Director of PoolSchooland Deep Blue Pools. Phone 952 499 059 Copyright remains with author.

Street PartyOn Sunday June the 7th, JK’s are holding a Street Party in Aid of Chain. The fun kicks off at12pm with live music from 2pm, featuringCosta Rock and Im & Er. Jk's promise a fun day out for all the familywith face painting, bouncy castles, kidsgames and lots of prizes to be won! Therewill also be a BBQ, Tapas and a Spitroastaswell as an outside bar (with normal barprices). Tickets are now available from JK's (€5Adults / €3 Children / Family Ticket 2 Adult 2Children €12) with the money raised to go toCHAIN – Charity for animals in need. To bookyour tickets call 951 318 516 or 654 396 651. Jk's, Poligono La Trocha, Coin. Plenty of parking close by.

The Age Care Association is a fullyregistered, non-profit making organisationstaffed entirely by volunteers. The majorityof our work concerns helping older Britishpeople living in the Province of Malaga,though persons of other nationalities whospeak English are of course helped. We provide welfare information, practicalsupport and a help line (Telephone:691761088). The Association also has avisiting team for persons in hospital or attheir own home. Volunteers also visit peoplein Care Homes when necessary. As part ofour work we have also helped repatriatepeople to the UK, where there are morefacilities for care and access to benefitsunavailable in Spain. Some of our volunteershave had careers in nursing, education,psychology and other caring professions andare accustomed to listening in a sympatheticand kind manner.

The Age Care Association are having a raffleto raise some much needed funds. The rafflewill be drawn on the 8th of October 2009.Further details will be published next month.Anyone that would like to donate a prizeplease call 952 567 065 or 691 761 088.www.agecarecosta.org

We have all had bad

dates but this takes the cake...

It was midwinter... snowing and quitecold...and the guy had taken her skiingin the mountains outside Salt Lake City,Utah.It was a day trip (no overnight). Theywere strangers, after all, and truly hadnever met before. The outing was funbut relatively uneventful until they wereheaded home late that afternoon.They were driving back down themountain, when she gradually began torealize that she should not have had thatextra latte.They were about an houraway from anywhere with arest room and in the middleof nowhere!Her companion suggestedshe try to hold it, which shedid for a while.Unfortunately, because of theheavy snow and slow going,there came a point where shetold him that he had better stopand let her go beside the road,or it would be the front seat of hiscar.They stopped and she quickly crawledout beside the car, yanked her pantsdown and started.In the deep snow she didn't have goodfooting, so she let her butt rest againstthe rear fender to steady herself.Her companion stood on the side of thecar watching for traffic and indeed was areal gentleman and refrained frompeeking. All she could think about wasthe relief she felt despite the ratherembarrassing nature of the situation.Upon finishing however, she soonbecame aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, theyoung lady discovered her buttockswere firmly glued against the car'sfender.Thoughts of tongues frozen to polesimmediately came to mind as sheattempted to disengage her flesh fromthe icy metal. It was quickly apparentthat she had a brand new problem dueto the extreme cold.Horrified by her plight and yet aware ofthe humor of the moment, she answeredher date's concerns about 'what is takingso long' with a reply that indeed, she was'freezing her butt off' and in need ofsome assistance!He came around the car as she tried to

cover herself with hersweater and then, as shelooked imploringly into hiseyes, he burst outlaughing.She too, got the gigglesand when they finallymanaged to composethemselves, theyassessed her dilemma.Obviously, as hystericalas the situation was,they also were faced

with a real problem. Bothagreed it would take something hot tofree her chilly cheeks from the grip of theicy metal!Thinking about what had gotten her intothe predicament in the first place, bothquickly realized that there was only oneway to get her free.So, as she looked the other way, herfirst-time date proceeded to unzip hispants and pee her butt off the fender.

And you thought your first date wasembarrassing. This gives a whole newmeaning to being pissed off. Oh, and how did the first date turn out?He later became her husband.

Here is proof that the ‘World

Is Nuts’!

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to havesex with animals, but the animals must befemale.

Having sexual relations with a male animal ispunishable by death (like THAT makessense).

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legallyexamine a woman's genitals, but is prohibitedfrom looking directly at them during theexamination. He may only see their reflectionin a mirror (do they look different reversed?).

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legallyallowed to kill her adulterous husband, butmay only do so with her bare hands.Thehusband's illicit lover, on the other hand, maybe killed in any manner desired (Ah!Justice!).

Topless saleswomen are legal inLiverpool, England - but only in tropical fishstores (but of course!).

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only havesex with her husband, and the first time thishappens, her mother must be in the room towitness the act (makes one shudder at thethought).

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms fromvending machines with one exception:Prophylactics may be dispensed from avending machine only 'in places wherealcoholic beverages are sold for consumptionon the premises' (Is this a great country orwhat?).

Muslims are banned from looking at thegenitals of a corpse. This also applies toundertakers. The sex organs of the deceasedmust be covered with a brick or piece ofwood at all times (A brick?).

The month of June and the important task being to

dead head the flowers, roses and geraniums. The removal of dead flower heads

has many benefits, a continuity of flower buds andflowers as the plant attempts to produce seed onlyto be thwarted by your efforts. This is particularlyimportant with roses, daisy flowering plants,annuals and perennials, Gazonas, carnations andgeraniums. Gardens look so much tidier whenplants having been dead headed. In the case of bulbs leave the stem to die backbefore cutting off, although it will look a little untidy.Plants will be stimulated to put all its energy intodeveloping a good bulb for the next year, daffodils,tulips, gladioli, iris and lilies.Also take the opportunity during June to lightlyprune any plants which have grown a little wildduring the flowering weeks and increase wateringas the temperature increases, checking thewatering system regular for leaks and to ensurethat all drip heads work.MARGARITA, (Paris daisy) is a perennialspreading 1x1 metres which likes full sun andrequires little irrigation. A pretty floweringevergreen shrub with white, yellow and pink daisyflowers in winter, spring and autumn. A much likedplant, ideal in borders and rockeries, but do not

plant in the shade as this will produce a poor weakplant susceptible to disease. Propagation cuttingscan be taken spring or summer. Dead headregular to promote continuous flowering and lightlyprune but be careful not to cut back into the oldwood. When pruning snip out tips frequently tomaintain the neat rounded shape.MARGARITA AFRICANA (African daisy) anextremely colourful and tough daisy plant whichcan be planted into any corner of the garden.Excellent for sloping bank, rockeries or just groundcover. This perennial can spread some 1metre x0.5 and again prefers full sun and is droughttolerant making it an ideal evergreen plant. Thesilvery grey to grey/green leaves have a little furryappearance whilst the beautiful flowers in yellow,orange, pink, russet and cream have contrastingblack or golden eye producing masses of flowersduring spring and summer. Propagate from smalloffshoots or by seed during autumn and spring.Again dead head regular to promote healthycontinuous flowers. Finally the rose bushes, a few minutes each daysnipping the old roses off makes way for anothermaking perfect yield of perfect roses. Howeverwatch out for pests and diseases that can appearas the heat and humidity rise, so ensure weeklyspraying and health checks. Happy dead heading.

Til next month.... Rosie

Peter Kay's Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches tastebetter than square ones.

2) One of the most awkward things that canhappen in a pub is when your pint-to-toiletcycle gets synchronised with a completestranger.

3) You've never quite sure whether it's ok toeat green crisps.

4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makesyou feel really manly.

5) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in abowl.

6) You never know where to look wheneating a banana.

7) Everyone always remembers the day adog ran into your school.

8) Every bloke has at some stage whiletaking a pee, flushed half way through andthen raced against the flush.

9) Old women with mobile phones lookwrong.

10) Its impossible to look cool whilst pickingup a Frisbee.

11) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

12) You can't respect a man who carries adog.

13) There's no panic like the panic youmomentarily feel when you've got your handor head stuck in something.

14) No one knows the origins of their metalcoat hangers.

15) Despite constant warning, you havenever met anybody who has had their armbroken by a swan.

Amazing Animals

- this month we adventure into the

weird and mysterious dark world of bats!

There are over 1000 known species of bats.In fact, bats make up a quarter of allmammals species on earth.

Bats can be found almost anywhere in theworld except the Polar Regions and extremedeserts.

They are the only mammals that can fly.

Vampire bats adopt orphans, and are one ofthe few mammals known to risk their ownlives to share food with less fortunateroost-mates.

The world’s smallest mammal is thebumblebee bat of Thailand which weighsless than a penny.

There are 27 species of bat found in Spain.

Bats are more closely related to humans thanthey are to rodents. Several studies indicatethat the Old World fruit bats and flying foxesmay actually be descended from earlyprimates.

Most bats give birth to only a single pup eachyear, making them very vulnerable toextinction. They are the slowest reproducingmammals on earth for their size.

Giant flying foxes that live in Indonesia havewingspans of nearly six feet.

A single little brown bat can catch 600mosquitoes in just one hour!

There are a few bats that are carnivorous,meat-eating bats. These bats, like the Asianand African False-Vampire bats, eat mostlyinsects, but have been known to eat fish,frogs and even small birds.

Bats are very clean animals, and groomthemselves almost constantly (when noteating or sleeping) to keep their fur clean.

CAPRICORN - Your personal magnetism is high and the love life is speeding up along

side. It is moving so fast that you now seek to put your relationships first and appreciate the

support of a partner in your upcoming plans. Pay attention to the details when it comes to

signing documents, as a business arrangement will be hard to get out of once the deed is

done. Mid June the social part of your nature seeks attention and you will get in touch with

those you haven’t seen for a while or family members that may need your support.

AQUARIUS - Curiosity killed the cat – well that isn’t your motto this month, you want to

know how things tick and are interested in discovering different ways of doing things. Travel

is highlighted and it is just what you need to take you out of your mundane world – a bit of an

adventure to stimulate the senses. Domestic issues need attention and that may take up a

lot of your energy, ranging from repairs, decorating and generally sorting out bills and finances.

This is all coming from an urge to clear the decks and sort things out.

TAURUS - Money matters may be the subject of conflict or stress in your life at the moment

and could interfere in the steady domestic harmony of the home. This is a month of high

energy for you where you will feel light spirited and full of vitality. Your powers of attraction

are strong and you exude animal magnetism, so let your passionate side out towards the end

of the month and show a loved one just how much they mean to you. You could put all this

energy to good use and use this time to get fit or maybe to get on with jobs around the house.

CANCER - There may be many plans and seeds being planted for the future in the areas

of business and career options. The main theme for June is a return to the past, where you

will be reviewing what is working for you, what needs changing and what you need to leave

behind. Looking at what you have undertaken and seeing where there are room for

improvements will allow you to move ahead quicker. Networking and spending time with

friends will bring you many social opportunities that lead onto greater things for you.

GEMINI - There is likely to be a lot of re-evaluating going on in your life this June with plenty

happening behind the scenes to keep you occupied for a long time. If there were

misunderstandings with those close to you last month, then June is giving you the opportunity

to clarify points and make your self understood, with more clarity. Some one could be quite

emotional and you will need to tread cautiously if you don’t want your head bitten off particularly

around 7th. By the end of June you will be firing on all four cylinders as your energy returns.

ARIES - The community and you share an affinity this month and you could be presented

with many opportunities to initiate changes in your local area. Looking at what you need and

the areas of your life that could do with some changes can help. Romance is on the cards

towards the end of June and you will have a few wild, intense and lively days. Beautiful objects

will catch your eye and there could be a desire to take hold of all that you see – basically keep

an eye on you’re spending particularly around mid June.

PISCES - This is the time to be determined, if something is bugging you, then it is important

to bring it into the open and talk it through. In fact to be determined in all areas of your life will

enable you to progress at great speed. At the end of this you will be surprised at how much

you have achieved and how different the land now looks. New friendships are possible as

you reach out and express your self clearly and with gusto with long conversations ensuing.

Established friends / family also become important and you will set aside time to be with them.

LEO - June is the month to listen to your instincts, they are your greatest ally, and stop

rationalising your inner feelings, let them out and speak from your heart; it will do you the world

of good. There could be someone that you need to chat things over with but have been

reluctant to do so, find that courage within and take the ‘bull by the horns’ and just do it – you

will feel much better. You are full of creative and artistic vision and can use this energy to

achieve something really astounding; you will perhaps be spurred on by a competitive friend.

LIBRA - The key is not to take things at face value this month as there may be a lot moregoing on behind the scenes than you are giving people credit for. There is a strong urge inyou to have far more meaningful interactions with people, superficial contacts just don’t cutthe cheese. Spend as much time with the elements as possible, this will recharge yourbatteries, and make you feel more grounded. An old flame or an old friend my re-appear andthere may be the chance of a re-union that could lead to intimacy and romance.

SCORPIO - A close relationship heats up a notch and you become closer, more intimate

and creatively expressive. There are tough decisions to be had and one of the best ways to

make those choices is to write them down on paper so they become a lot clearer. Thinking

out of the box is easy for you to do right now and even if something seems a really crazy idea

– it is likely to work. By 30th you see your craziest plans come to fruition. Studying or book

work may be causing you a bit of tension so do your best to relax and take it easy in-between.

SAGITTARIUS - If someone is giving you a hard time or just generally driving you nuts

then the advice is to stay away for now. You need to preserve your own sanity. Other people

may have you wrapped around their finger and then others may genuinely need your help – it

is therefore up to you to figure out the ‘wheat from the chaff’ and once you do life will seem to

calm right down. There is competition on the work front but this only encourages you to excel

in that area of your life as you always rise to the occasion with panache.

VIRGO - A sense of adventure abounds when you wish to explore and venture into places

that you haven’t been to before. Your playful and fun attitude is infectious and you may make

more plans than you usually would, finding that others get caught up in your enthusiasm as

well. Try not to be too tempted to spend as glittery things may catch your eye, giving you the

impulsive desire to ‘have to have them’ and then regret splashing out after. Relationships

feature strongly mid-month and you will be becoming very intimate with a loved one.

The kids are back and

this month it’s all about the sea.

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It haseight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) If you are surrounded by sea you are anIsland. If you don't have sea all round you,you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)

3) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have bigteeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's notmy friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

4) A dolphin breaths through an asshole onthe top of its head. (Billy age 8)

5) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots,and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

6) When ships had sails, they used thewinds to cross the ocean. When the winddidn't blow, they would whistle to make thewind come. My brother said they would havebeen better off eating beans. (William age 7)

7) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and Ilike their shiny tails. And how on earth domermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helenage 6)

8) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish cansting. Electric eels can give you a shock.They have to live in caves under the seawhere I think they have to plug themselvesinto chargers. (Christopher age 7)

9) When you go swimming in the sea, it isvery cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevinage 6)

10) Divers have to be safe when they gounder the water. Two divers can't go downalone, so they have to go down on eachother. (Becky age 8)

11) On holidays my Mum went water skiing.She fell off when she was going very fast.She says she won't do it again becausewater fired right up her ass. (Jule age 7)

Attention to all parents!! Yes the 3 month school holidays are just aroundthe corner! Are you thinking about things for thekids to do?Hiring an inflatable castle or game could beyour saving grace. Available for parties,communions, weddings or just because! Here at 'Trumps' we have castles for childrenfrom age 0 - 101! Our castles start from 3.6metres square up to 5.5 metres square. If youhave a pool why not a GIANT waterslide. Thisis fantastic for the hot days and evenings thatare coming. Quotes are available on request or via thewebsite www.trumpsfunhire.com or call Kerryon 667-242-193, always happy to help. Our prices are cheapest anywhere. Ourprofessional service will have you coming back

time and again, guaranteed!!

In the race for a UEFA place finish MALAGAentertained fellow contenders DEPORTIVO... In akeenly fought match MALAGA took the lead on 33minutes from a wonderfully taken kick on the edgeof the box. Deportivo however equalized on 50Min's from a great cross and running header. Bothsides had chances to win with DEPORTIVOhaving a goal disallowed and MALAGA hitting apost, the bar and also missing a penalty for thegame to end in a 1-1 draw.Away to NUMANCIA came next and a shock startsaw the home side score from a spectacular volleyafter only 35 seconds. MALAGA never recoveredand NUMANCIA scored another great 20 yard goalon 63 Min's to secure a 2-0 win.A tough RACING SANTANDER side were the nextvisitors to the LA ROSALEDA STADIUM and withboth sides going all out for a win it was only finesaves from both keepers that kept the score to0-0 at half time. It was more of the same after thebreak but with MALAGA pressing harder as thegame went on. The match was settled however inthe 87th min when a totally unnecessary rashRACING challenge gave MALAGA a penalty kick.

Luque calmly stepped up and cooly slotted the ballhome for a 1-0 victory.MALAGA next travelled to SPORTING GIJON andan entertaining game produced three great headedgoals. The first came from a corner kick where anicely timed run saw a bullet header fromSPORTING'S Gerard hit the back of the net on 24Min's. Before half time MALAGA were level whena beautifully flighted free kick into the box was metby Weligton who stole in to guide the ball past astranded keeper. The deciding goal came on 53Min's when a dangerous ball into the MALAGA boxwas met by a diving header from Rosario who in adesperate attempt to clear the ball could only sendit past his keeper for an unfortunate own goal andgive SPORTING a 2-1 victory.

The honorable mentions:

10. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost afinger in a meat-cutting machine and, after alittle shopping around, submitted a claim to hisinsurance company. The company expectingnegligence sent out one of its men to have alook for himself. He tried the machine and healso lost a finger. The chef's claim wasapproved.

9. A man who shoveled snow for an hour toclear a space for his car during a blizzard inChicago returned with his vehicle to find awoman had taken the space. Understandably,he shot her.

8. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar,a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20mental patients he was supposed to betransporting from Harare to Bulawayo hadescaped. Not wanting to admit hisincompetence, the driver went to a nearby busstop and offered everyone waiting there a freeride. He then delivered the passengers to themental hospital, telling the staff that thepatients were very excitable and prone tobizarre fantasies. The deception wasn'tdiscovered for 3 days.

7. An American teenager was in the hospitalrecovering from serious head woundsreceived from an oncoming train. When askedhow he received the injuries, the lad toldpolice that he was simply trying to see howclose he could get his head to a moving trainbefore he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K,put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked forchange. When the clerk opened the cashdrawer, the man pulled a gun and asked forall the cash in the register, which the clerkpromptly provided. The man took the cashfrom the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill onthe counter. The total amount of cash he gotfrom the drawer... $15 (If someone points agun at you and gives you money, is a crimecommitted?).

5. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some

beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd justthrow a cinder block through a liquor storewindow, grab some booze, and run. So helifted the cinder block and heaved it over hishead at the window. The cinder block bouncedback and hit the would-be thief on the head,knocking him unconscious. The liquor storewindow was made of Plexiglas. The wholeevent was caught on videotape.

4. As a female shopper exited a New Yorkconvenience store, a man grabbed her purseand ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, andthe woman was able to give them a detaileddescription of the snatcher. Within minutes, thepolice apprehended the snatcher. They puthim in the car and drove back to the store. Thethief was then taken out of the car and told tostand there for a positive ID. To which hereplied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's thelady I stole the purse from."

3. The Ann Arbor News crime columnreported that a man walked into a Burger Kingin Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5a.m, flashed a gun,and demanded cash. The clerk turned himdown because he said he couldn't open thecash register without a food order. When theman ordered onion rings, the clerk said theyweren't available for breakfast. The man,frustrated, walked away.(*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER )

2. When a man attempted to siphongasoline from a motor home parked on aSeattle street, he got much more than hebargained for. Police arrived at the scene tofind a very sick man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A policespokesman said that the man admitted totrying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphonhose into the motor home's sewage tank bymistake. The owner of the vehicle declinedto press charges saying that it was the bestlaugh he'd ever had.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fireat his intended victim during a hold-up in LongBeach , California , would-be robber JamesElliot did something that can only inspirewonder. He peered down the barrel and tried

the trigger again. This time it worked.

Peel a banana from the bottom and youwon't have to pick the little "stringy things"off of it. That's how the primates do it.

Take your bananas apart when you gethome from the shop. If you leave themconnected at the stem, they ripen faster.

Store your opened chunks of cheese inaluminium foil. It will stay fresh muchlonger and not mould!

Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom aresweeter and better for eating. Pepperswith 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer andbetter for cooking.

Add a teaspoon of water when fryingground beef. It will help pull the grease

away from the meat while cooking.

Add garlic immediately to a recipe if youwant a light taste of garlic and at the end ofthe recipe if your want a stronger taste ofgarlic.

Don't know if this is just a coincidence

but....

2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - BirdFlu Pandemic devastates partsof Asia.

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - EquineInfluenza decimatesAustralian racing.

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine FluPandemic kills hundreds ofpigs around theglobe.

Has any one else noticed this? It gets worse, next year......

2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - whatcould possibly go wrong?

The Solution

Dear Mr. Darling, Please find below some suggestions forfixing Britain's economy.Instead of giving billions of pounds to banksthat will squander the money on lavishparties and unearned bonuses, use thefollowing plan. You can call it thePatriotic Retirement Plan.There are about 20 million people over 50in the work force - Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with thefollowing stipulations: 1) They MUST retire. Twenty million jobopenings - Unemployment fixed. 2) They MUST buy a new British CAR.Twenty million cars ordered - Auto Industryfixed. 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay offtheir mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed. 4) They must send their kids to school /college /university - Crime rate fixed 5) They must buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a

week there's your money back in duty / taxetc.It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have allmembers of parliament pay back their falselyclaimed expenses and second homeallowances!

Bamboo Telecom is a registered Trade Mark of (Costa del Sol

Online S.L.), a local Telecommunicationscompany with offices for Sales and TechSupport in the Polígono La Rosa in Alhaurínel Grande and Administrative offices in theTechnological Park in Campanillas, wherealso the technical heart of the company islocated in a professionally equipped DataCenter. Bamboo Telecom provides wirelessbroadband internet access and Voice overIP telephone service in areas where theconventional operator does not reach.

The company was created in 2001 and hasall the necessary legal authorizationsfrom the CMT (TelecommunicationsCommission) to operate as a TelecomOperator in Spain.

The wireless mesh network of BambooTelecom covers a total of 1.900 km2 in theGuadalhorce Valley and the area ofAntequera, with expansión in progress tothe coastal areas of Nerja down toEstepona.

Bamboo Telecom works with the latesttechnology in the 5 Ghz range from wellknown companies such as SkypilotNetworks in California and Motorola, inorder to guarantee high speed internetaccess and a good telephone quality via theinternet.

The primary clientele are residentialcustomers and companies located in ruralareas where ADSL , nor regular landlinescannot reach. Bamboo Telecom also offerssolutions for Urbanizations, ApartmentBuildings, Hotels, Universities, Campingsand Marinas, not just for internet access butalso for telephone solutions such as VirtualPBX systems for companies. Since January2006 Bamboo Telecom is the officialprovider of internet access for the buildingsof the Junta de Andalucia in the

Technological Park in Campanillas.

In today’s world and especially at times ofinternational economic crisis, companiesand private customers need more andbetter communication means at a lowercost, wherever they are located. Theinnovative services of Bamboo Telecomprovide this advantage.

Bamboo Telecom’s internet connections aresymmetric broadband connections and startat a basic speed of 512k which is sufficientfor home or small office use and will alsowork with Skype. To provide the 24hour and7 days a week service (without anydownload restrictions and without aminimum contract term), only a smallantenna has to be installed at the clientsproperty. The installed equipment is not soldto the client, it remains the property ofBamboo Telecom and with this the clientdoes not have to worry about warranty onthe equipment in case of technical fault.Bamboo Telecom will maintain and changethe equipment if necessary.

With the Voice over IP telephone service theclient receives a fixed local number and hasthe option to also choose numbers of othercountries. VOIP allows calls at low costwhich are billed to the second and withoutany call establishment fee. In addition, callsbetween Bamboo Telecom customers arefree.

Bamboo Telecom offers high qualityproducts and always strives to provide thebest customer support, as well asmultilingual office staff.

Sales and Tech Support:Bamboo Telecom/Costa del Sol Online S.L.Pol. Ind. La Rosa, C/ Guadalmedina 1429120 Alhaurín el Grande

Tel. 952 563 021Web: www.bambootelecom.comE-mail: sales@bambootelecom.com

1. A Salopian is a native of which Englishcounty?2. In 1979 Greenland gained itsindependence from which Country?3. Can horses catch Foot and Mouthdisease?4. Which type of camera did Edwin Landinvent in 1947?5. Where are the biggest and busiestMcDonalds?6. How often can one see Halley’s Comet?7. How many people were on Noah's ark?8. How many lines are there in a sonnet?9. What was the Tin Donkey, which in1915 was the first of its kind?10. Who wrote the musical Can Can?11. Which outlaw was killed by Bob Ford?12. What was the unit of currency inPoland?13. In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, which herbis said to be 'for remembrance'?14. Who had a hit with Rebel Rebel?15. In which 1960s sitcom would you seea horse called Hercules?16. Which wedding anniversary isassociated with China?17. Which element has the symbol U?18. Who invented jeans in 1872?19. How many players are there in ahurling team?20. What are a group of hedgehogscalled?21. Which Football Club’s nickname is TheO’s22. Who had a horse called Black Bess?23. Who was the third wife of Henry V111?24. In Monopoly how much does Pall Mallcost?25. Which country hosted the 1960Olympic Games?

26. What is Cynaphobia the fear of?

Answers on page 74

What does man love more than lifeFear more than death or mortal strifeWhat the poor have, the rich require,and what contented men desire,What the miser spends and the spendthriftsaves

And all men carry to their graves?Answers on page 74

Find the words that fit.

Example 1: 60 = S in a MFigure out what the "S" and "M" stand for.Answer: 60 Seconds in a Minute

1) 26 = L of the E A

2) 7 = D of the W

3) 1001 = A N

4) 12 = S of the Z

5) 54 = C in a D (with J)

6) 22 = M T in a P of T C

7) 88 = P K

8) 13 = S on the A F

9) 32 = D F at which W F

10) 18 = H on a G C

ACROSS

1 Yellow colour (4)4 Curved structure (4)6 Types of meat (4)8 Public transport (4)11 Fail to hit (4)13 Solemn (7)14 Primate (3)16 Musical speed (5)18 Lamp (5)21 Coarse files (5)22 Portals (5)24 Tavern (3)25 Aquatic bird (7)28 Hold (4)30 Attention (4)31 Revise (4)32 Pile (4)33 Disparage (4)

DOWN

1 Flying mammals (4)2 Phobia (4)3 Entire range (5)4 Donkey (3)5 Gap (4)7 Skinflint (5)9 Hand in one’snotice (6)10 Capability (5)12 Drains (4)15 Conifer (6)17 Frantic (5)19 Clique (4)20 Lukewarm (5)23 Shade of brown(5)24 Unit of length (4)26 Shout (4)27 Close (4)29 Agent (3)

Discover how to break a code:

Every number in the codeword grid is 'code' for a letter of the alphabet. Thus the number '2' may correspond to the letter 'L', for instance.

We have given you the first letter, 1 = A HINT: Letters not used: F,J,Q,V,X,Z

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Answers on page 74

A true story from

Mount Isa in Queensland.

Recently a routine Police patrol carparked outside a local neighbourhood pub. Late in the evening the officer noticed a manleaving the bar so intoxicated that he couldbarely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for afew minutes, with the officer quietlyobserving. After what seemed an eternity andtrying his keys on five vehicles. The manmanaged to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a numberof other patrons left the bar and drove off.Finally he started the car, switched thewipers on and off (it was a fine dry night).Then flicked the indicators on, then off,tooted the horn and then switched on thelights. He moved the vehicle forward a few cm,reversed a little and then remained stationaryfor a few more minutes as some morevehicles left. At last he pulled out of the carpark and started to drive slowly down the

road. The Police officer, having patiently waited allthis time, now started up the patrol car, puton the flashing lights, promptly pulled theman over and carried out a randombreathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicatedno evidence of the man's intoxication. The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you toaccompany me to the Police station - thisbreathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm thedesignated decoy".

Three Old Ladies

These three old ladies, Tillie, Maude, andGertrude were sitting on a park bench withtheir dogs, having a quiet conversationwhen a flasher approached from across thepark. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood rightin front of them and opened his trench coat.Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

Dear God...

There was a man who worked for the PostOffice whose job it was to process all the mailthat had illegible addresses. One day, a lettercame addressed in a shaky handwriting toGod with no actual address or postcode. Hethought he should open it to see what it wasabout. The letter read:

Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, livingon a very small pension.Yesterday someone stole mypurse. It had £100 in it, whichwas all the money I had until mynext pension payment. NextSunday is my birthday, and I hadinvited two of my friends over fordinner. Without that money, Ihave nothing to buy food with,have no family to turn to, and youare my only hope.. Please helpme? Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showedthe letter to all the other workers. Each one

dug into his or her wallet and came up with afew pounds. By the time he made therounds, he had collected £96, which they putinto an envelope and sent to the woman. Therest of the day, all the workers felt a warmglow thinking of Edna and the dinner shewould be able to share with her friends. Afew days later, another letter came

addressed to Godand in the samehand. All theworkers gatheredaround while theletter wasopened. It read:

Dear God, Howcan I ever

thank you enough forwhat you did for me? Because of your

gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinnerfor my friends. We had a very nice day and Itold my friends of your wonderful gift. By theway, there was £4 missing. I think it mighthave been those bastards at the post office. Sincerely, Edna

Hearing Aid

An elderly gentleman had serioushearing problems for a number of years. Hewent to the doctor and the doctor was ableto have him fitted for a set ofhearing aids that allowed thegentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentlemanwent back in a month to thedoctor and the doctor said, 'Yourhearing is perfect. Your familymust be really pleased that youcan hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, Ihaven't told my family yet. I just sitaround and listen to theconversations. I've changed my willthree times!'

Eating Out

An elderly couple had dinner at anothercouple's house, and after eating, the wives

left the table and went into the kitchen. Thetwo gentlemen were talking, and one said,'Last night we went out to a new restaurantand it was really great. I would recommend itvery highly.' The other man said, 'What is thename of the restaurant?' The first manthought and thought and finally said, 'What

is the name of that flower you give tosomeone you love? You know... Theone that's red and has thorns.' ‘Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that'sthe one,' replied the man. He thenturned towards the kitchen andyelled, 'Rose, what’s the name ofthat restaurant we went to lastnight?'

Banana Split

A little old man shuffled slowlyinto an ice cream parlour andpulled himself slowly, painfully,

up onto a stool. After catching his breath, heordered a banana split. The waitress askedkindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

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Euro drain services, cctv surveys, drainjetting, septic tanks, soakaway installationsfast and efective. 24hr blocked drainclearance. Call Darren 629 640 754 all areas.

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16th Edition BS7671 qualified,

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Online Business Directory

PLASTERER / BUILDER

VAN HIRE

Emergency 112Ambulance 061Fire Brigade 080Local Police 092National Police 091Guardia Civil 062Helpline in English 902 102 112

Carlos Haya Hospital 951 030 100Civil Hospital 951 030 300Maternity Hospital 951 030 200Costa del Sol Hospital 952 102 112Hospital Clinico Univ 952 649 400

Information 952 048 771/952 048 484Arrivals T2 952 048 844Arrivals T1 952 048 845Departures 952 048 804

Alhaurin de la Torre 952 410 444Alhaurin el Grande 952 491 010Benalmadena 952 441 545Coin 952 453 587Fuengirola 952 471 000Malaga 952 327 950Torremolinos 952 380 600

Tuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola.Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre,Arroyo de la Miel, Saydo Hotel Mollina, LaCala de Mijas.Thursday - Alora Country Farmers Market(Los Caballos), Alhaurin el Grande - Feria,Pizarra, Torremolinos - Feria Ground. Friday - Arroyo de la Miel, CartamaCountry Farmers Market, Mijas Costa.Saturday - Benalmadena - Los Porches,Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas.

Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha,

Estacion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaganext to the Stadium, Pizarra Car Boot,Torremolinos by Crocodile Park.

Get Quizzical:

1) Shropshire

2) Denmark

3) No

4) The Polaroid

5) Moscow

6) Every 76 years

7) 8

8) 14

9) An all metal plane

10) Cole Porter

11)Jesse James

12) Zloty

13) Rosemary

14) David Bowie

15) Steptoe and Son

16) 20th

17) Uranium

18) Jacob Davis and

Levi Strauss

19) 15

20) A Herd

21) Leyton Orient

22) Dick Turpin

23) Jane Seymour

24) GBP 140

25) Italy

26) Fear of dogs

Riddle:

NothingCodeword:

1=A, 2=U, 3=D, 4=O, 5=T, 6=G, 7=R, 8=L, 9=I,10=C, 11=P, 12=S, 13=Y, 14=K, 15=W, 16=H,17=N, 18=E, 19=B, 20=M

Brain Teasers:

Brain Benders:

EMERGENCY NUMBERS

HOSPITALS

MALAGA AIRPORT

TAXI

MARKETS DAYS

Half Hearted Moral Support

See Eye to Eye Wrong end of the stick

1) Letters of the English Alphabet2) Days of the Week3) Arabian Nights4) Signs of the Zodiac5) Cards in a Deck (with Jokers)6) Major Trumps in a Pack of Tarot Cards7) Piano Keys8) Stripes on the American Flag9) Degrees Fahrenheit at which Water Freezes10) Holes on a Golf Course